A/N: Hello everyone. Sorry the delay but I already explained how life is crazy these days. I'm working now on the new chapter of IGFED and I'll try hard to post it today or maybe tomorrow. Anyway, here is the fourth and second-to-last in this fic. I really hope you guys enjoy it :)
Chapter 3: Love is hurt, love is everything.
"Family of Emily Prentiss?" All six heads snapped up at the doctor's voice and they all stood up quickly, anxious for news about the surgery. It'd been over five hours since she got into the ER and until now they only had two updates from a nurse saying that things were going accord with the predicted. Garcia had arrived a little over three hours earlier, already panicking about what had happened.
"That's us. How is she?" It was Rossi who had the courage to ask and all eyes were focused on the doctor, expectantly.
"Miss Prentiss was hit on her upper back and the bullet pierced her right lung and it got lodged in her collarbone, fracturing it. She lost a lot of blood and the damage in her lungs caused a cardiac arrest during the surgery but we managed to stabilize her and fix the tissue." He started to explain and several intakes of breath could've been heard when he mentioned the cardiac arrest. "The bullet was a little tricky to be removed but we managed it too. She's now in an induced coma because since she's with a tube to help with her breathing until her lungs get all functioning again, being unconscious can help her to heal faster. She's not out of risk, though. The next forty-eight hours will be critical for us to see if the damage in her lung is really fixed. We'll wait a few days to remove the tubes and if she keeps breathing by herself without problems we're going to take her out of the coma."
"Can we see her?" Hotch was the first one to ask the question that was in everyone's heads.
"She's being transferred to the ICU and normally I wouldn't allow any visitors, but I understand the situation, so I'm going to allow two visitors at time and no more than five minutes." The doctor said and the agents nodded quickly, thankfully.
Everyone looked at Hotch, who was struggling to absorb everything. "JJ, Garcia, you two can go first…" He said quietly and the others frowned at him. "I'm going to use the restroom…" They watched him walk away, eyes downcast, completely unlike his normal posture.
"Go ahead, girls. Morgan and Reid go after them and then I'll go with Aaron…" Rossi said and the others only nodded before leaving. Rossi sighed and walked towards the restroom, to find his friend. He opened the door and saw him standing in front of the sink, hands gripping the countertop tightly and eyes fixed in the mirror, watching his own reflection. "Are you okay?"
Hotch was quiet for a few seconds, just staring at the mirror without acknowledging the question. "She almost died…" He said quietly without looking away. "She flatlined…"
"And they brought her back." Dave said and saw his eyes closing briefly and a flash of pain cross his face. "Aaron?"
He didn't say anything at first but after a few moments he turned around and looked at his friend. "If something happens to her, Dave… I don't know how…" He said quietly and the way his voice wavered made the dots connect in Dave's head.
"How long?" He asked, knowing he would be understood.
Hotch let out a humorless chuckle before answering. "I have no idea… I just know that ever since I heard that gunshot I feel like there's a hammer inside my chest and it's like my brain isn't able to function anymore and I…" He stopped shortly with a sharp breath and blinked to keep the tears at bay. "If something happens I don't know how I'll cope, Dave. I only felt this kind of panic once in my life and it was when I was driving to my house, knowing Haley was being held by that psychopath."
Dave nodded at him and patted his back before nudging him to the door. "Let's go see her, Aaron." They walked towards the ICU just in time they spotted Reid and Morgan leaving the room.
"She's laying on her side. The doctor said it's to avoid the pressure on her back. He said they'll be readjusting her tomorrow…" Morgan said and both agents nodded. "The girls are waiting for us in the waiting room. We're going to head back to the hotel now… Penelope is tired from her flight and JJ wants to call Henry…"
"Okay… you guys take one SUV and we'll go with the other…" Dave said and Hotch kept himself in silence, just looking at the closed door. Morgan gave Dave a meaningful look and the older nodded at him before gesturing to the exit. He waited until the two agents had left before opening the door. "C'mon in. We only have five minutes…"
There was silence, only interrupted by the beep of the machines. Dave approached the bed and took one of Emily's hands in his, being careful with the IV. "Hey, pigheaded, you need to wake up…" He murmured to her and brushed a strand of hair that was falling on her cheek.
Hotch stood by the door, watching the small form of the brunette agent on the bed, hearing the beeping of the machines and trying to assure himself that she was indeed okay and alive. He heard Dave's voice talking quietly with Emily but he couldn't understand the words he was saying, too focused on controlling his own breathing and avoiding the tears that were polling his eyes.
Dave leaned down and pressed a light kiss on her forehead before turning around and walking towards his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder. "We don't have much time, Aaron. Go ahead and talk to her, give her something to hold on…" He nudged him towards the bed and left the room to give him some privacy.
Hotch didn't even notice he was moving until he found himself right beside Emily's bed and his breath hitched when he saw how small she appeared to be surrounded by machines and tubes. He sat at the visitor chair and carefully took one of Emily's hands with his and brought it to his lips, pressing the slightest of the kisses on her skin. "Emily…" He whispered and closed his eyes tightly to avoid the tears. "Oh, Emily… why did you do this?" He whispered brokenly and used his other hand to caress her cheek. "I'd give anything to trade places with you…" He brushed his fingers through her face, caressing the corner of her mouth, being careful with the tube. "You have to wake up, Emily. You need to wake up because you need to help me to understand this butterflies I'm feeling right now and why I can't stop thinking about kissing you and holding you close to me… it's all your damn fault so you need to be here to help me deal with this, otherwise you know I'm going to freak out…" He whispered quietly while squeezing her hand. "When did you pass through my barriers, woman?" He asked and closed his eyes again, dropping his head down to press another kiss on her hand. "You can't leave me now… you made me feel like this and now you have to stay here to deal with the consequences with me…"
"Aaron…" He looked at the door to find Dave looking at him with sad eyes. "We need to go…"
"I don't want to go…" Hotch murmured looking at the woman. "I don't want to leave her alone… what if she wakes up?"
Dave smiled sadly at him and shook his head. "She's not going to wake up, Aaron. Not right now…" He said and saw the resigned look at his friends face. "I'll wait you outside. One minute, Aaron…"
Hotch looked back at Emily and brushed his thumb on her cheek again. "I have to go now… but I'll come back first thing in the morning, I promise…" He whispered to her. "You hold still and fight, Emily. I need you to wake up. You have to come back to us, to me…" He leaned down and kissed her cheek sweetly and carefully. "Come back to me, sweetheart…"
Dave was waiting for him outside and he patted his back as they walked through the corridors to leave the hospital. "You better tell her when she wakes up, Aaron…" He murmured to him and Hotch just nodded at him, eyes burning with unshed tears, knowing that his heart had stayed at the bedroom with the brunette.
/*/*/*/
"Where are we now?" She frowned at her surroundings. It seemed to be an old construction, an abandoned building, almost all the furniture gone, saved from an old black couch and two book shelves, completely empty and full of dust.
"Don't you remember this place? You used to come here a lot when you were younger…" Grandpa Prentiss asked and suddenly Emily's eyes were wide and she looked sharply at him.
"Take me out of here." She said harshly but the elder of them didn't even flinch.
"This is an important place, Emily. You made some pretty big decisions here… decisions that made you the woman you are right now." Jonathan told her and she scowled at him angrily.
"I don't care! I don't want to be here. Get me out of here, grandpa!" She said and just then she saw a teenage boy walking into the room followed by a teenage Emily.
"You can't be serious, Emily." The boy's voice was hard and harsh and the young girl had tears in her eyes, looking pleadingly at him.
"I took three tests, John. I'm really pregnant…" She said with a panicked voice. "What are we going to do?" She asked and the boy looked at her hardly, his face set in stone making her shiver.
"What are we going to do? We are going to do nothing, Emily! I don't know what was your plan but I'm not going to fall for that. You got pregnant, you take care of this… I don't want anything with it or with you…" He said and the tears started to fall in young Emily's cheeks. "God… I just wanted to have some fun…" He groaned without looking at her.
"John, please… I can't do this alone…" Emily pleaded but he just shook his head dismissively and walked to the door.
"I don't want to see you anymore, Emily. I don't care what are you going to do with this… but I don't want to see you anymore…" He said and left, leaving Emily sobbing uncontrollably alone at the quiet room. The three of them stayed in silence for a few minutes as one Emily wept over the abandonment and despair of not knowing what to do and the other while remembering all the things she had to face after that day and the consequences that she had to deal through the rest of her life.
"Can we go now, please?" Emily looked at her grandfather with tears in her eyes and the man looked at her sympathetically before nodding.
"Let's go, sweetheart." He said gesturing to the exit. They left the room but the sounds of the young girl's sobs still echoed in Emily's head and she sniffed, wiping her tears quickly.
"Why did you make me see this again?" She asked quietly, her voice resigned and sad.
"Why do you think I did it, Emily?" He asked her and she shook her head. "This was the day you had the biggest disappointment of your life, sweetie. You were just a girl and you were scared and rather than stay by your side and help you to go through this, your friend left you alone to deal with the hardest thing that ever happened to you. You ended up making a very difficult decision and you regret it every single day. This day showed you how men can let you down, how they can raise your hopes to the highest level just to push you down, face on the ground, and turn their backs to you like they never even noticed you." He said looking straight to her eyes with a firm but gentle voice. "You are thirty-nine years old, Emily. How many long-term relationships did you have? How many times did you trust someone with your heart? How many times did you allow yourself to love or to be loved by someone? Anyone?" He asked and Emily dropped her eyes to the floor.
"Love hurts." She murmured and Jonathan cupped her chin and tipped her head up to look again into her eyes.
"Yes, it does, sweetheart. Love hurts a lot. Love disappoints. Love makes us sad. Love makes us despaired. Love makes us hopeless, sometimes…" He nodded. "But also, love brings us strength. Love makes us joyful. Love helps us to see the light in the end of the tunnel. Love makes us silly and makes us want to sing and dance and laugh. Love brings us a reason to live for, Emily. You only tasted the bad side of love and because of that you never allowed yourself to taste the good side of it. You never allowed yourself to taste the feeling of the butterflies and the shivers in your stomach or the flutter in your heart. You never allowed yourself to believe that it could be worth it, that it would take work and sometimes you may even get hurt or upset but in the end it would be worth it everything. You never allowed yourself to believe that there could be someone out there who would make you rethink about everything you thought you knew about love and life, someone who would deserve you to risk for."
"Because there isn't it." She said through her gritted teeth and he smiled sadly at her.
"Oh, but there is it, sweetheart. There is it and you finally found him. You found him and what you did?" He asked rhetorically. "You labeled him as 'too good to be mine'. You didn't believe that he could be that someone for you. You deliberately chose to believe that he was just untouchable, that he would never even spare a look at you because now it's you that it's not worth it. You put him in a pedestal and you left him there, prohibited, off limits, making yourself to believe that you'd never be too good enough to deserve someone like him. You made yourself to believe that he could never love you because it wasn't possible for someone so good to even think about someone so shattered as you."
"And he didn't! He never did. I'm just his subordinate, nothing else. He never looked at me as something else and he could never look at me as something else… I'm just wrong for him… I could never fit Haley's shoes. I could never be good enough…" She argued and he smiled at her.
"C'mon, Emily. You need to see something else." He said gesturing to a small door at the end of the hall. Emily looked at him warily before following him, wondering what memories he would bring back now.
A/N: So, what do you think he'll show her now? Reviews are incredible appreciated. Next chapter, the last one, will be up soon...
