"Warden!" called Megamind suddenly, his voice slightly muffled through the glass on the door of his cell. The Warden stepped cautiously toward the door and crossed his arms, looking sternly at Megamind.
"What is it, Megamind?" he asked.
"Has anyone ever told you that your head is to small for your body?" asked Megamind, laughing.
"Has anyone ever told you to shut up while you're in jail for 39 life sentences?"
"You're such a… snooze," said Megamind, his lips turning up in an evil smile.
"Yeah, yeah," said the Warden boredly. "Just go back to thinking about how miserable you are."
"For now," said Megamind under his breath, a low, evil laugh slipping out of his mouth.
…
"Again?" asked Roxanne.
"Again, Miss Ritchie," replied Mr. Winter, Roxanne's boss.
"I wish they'd get some better security at that place," mumbled Roxanne. "All right, I'll go cover Megamind's latest breakout. But if I get kidnapped-"
"Don't worry, you'll still get paid after Metro Man rescues you," replied Mr. Winter, pushing Roxanne out of his office.
…
Hal situated his camera as Roxanne posed outside of the Metro City prison, and fixed a serious look on her face. She situated her headset and finally heard…
"And now, breaking news. Megamind has once again broken out of prison. We now go to Roxanne Ritchie on the scene."
"Thanks Dave," said Roxanne quickly to the anchor. "Yes, Megamind, the villian we all fear, has once again made a break from Metro City prison. Although we have not been allowed inside the premises, we did manage to get a few words from a source who wishes to remain anonymous. He explained that they were all going about their business, when everyone suddenly just fell asleep. When they woke up, the fist place they checked was Megamind's cell, which was, in fact empty.
"How did he do it? Your guess is as good as mine Metro City. If he had used sleeping gas, how was he not affected?
"Then, we must wonder, what are his plans next? All we can do now, is wait, and wonder."
"Thank you Roxanne," said Dave into the headset. Roxanne nodded to the camera, and held her pose until Hal sent her a thumbs up.
"All right, lets blow this place," muttered Roxanne. "I know it's pretty much the most unlikely place for Megamind to kidnap me, but it still gives me the heebie jeebies."
"Place blown, Roxi," replied Hal, grinning. "I'll just go load up the stuff, and you can hop in shot-" Hsl fell to the ground quiet suddenly, snoring.
"Hal?" yelped Roxanne, rushing toward him. "Ah, crap," she said, realizing to late, as she was hit suddenly with sleep.
…
"I'm a genius Minion!" cackled Megamind, as they returned to their new secret lair.
"Indeed, sir," replied Minion, carrying Roxanne in over his shoulder. "There's no evil genius like you sir."
"And no minion like you Minion!" cried Megamind happily. "Oh put Ritchie in her spot, there are a few extra things I have to work out."
Megamind went to work with his computers quickly making sure that everything looked menacingly ready as Roxanne began stirring.
"Sir," whispered Minion.
"Oh," said Megamind excitedly. "Places Minion."
Megamind rushed to sit in his high backed chair.
Minion reached over and pulled the potato sack (a new addition) off of Roxanne's head.
Megamind waited a moment, as Roxanne started to wake up. She made a bit of a gagging noise. Megamind opened his mouth to speak.
"The bag's a new addition," said Roxanne, before Megamind could even say anything.
Megamind spun his chair around. "You just interrupted me."
"Not technically," replied Roxanne. "You weren't talking yet."
"No," snapped Megamind, "but you of all people should know that the villain is supposed to start the conversation with a grand 'Welcome!' or 'We meet again!'"
"Boring and predictable," yawned Roxanne.
"Cliché?" asked Megamind sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"So you finally bought a dictionary!" Roxanne said excitedly.
"Miss Ritchie, villains don't buy anything," Megamind replied, sounding like a teacher explaining a difficult idea to a student. "I stole a dictionary."
"Oh, excuse me," replied Roxanne boredly. "Anyway, the bag's a new edition. I assume you bought it so that I wouldn't be able to see where we were going, because it's not totally obvious that we're in the abandoned tire factory."
"What?" spluttered Megamind. "I… don't know what you're talking about."
Roxanne rolled her eyes, as Megamind turned away, trying to look busy.
"You look a little tense," said Roxanne softly. Megamind jumped a little at her voice. "If you untied me, I could give you a back rub."
"Oh no, Ritchie," said Megamind, turning back to her. "I won't be falling for your woman wiles again."
Roxanne smirked. "All right. I'll be quiet now."
"Excellent, I'm very busy," snapped Megamind, turning back to his computers.
Roxanne tugged a little on her ropes, disappointed to find them tied tight. For a while, she was quiet, then she finally sighed in boredom.
"What exactly are you doing over there?" she asked. "Shouldn't we be getting to the part where you bring out some dumb looking torture device, reveal part of your evil plot to me, then call Metro Man to 'lure him to his doom,' or something?"
"HA!" yelled Megamind, turning back to Roxanne with a sinister grin. "It looks as though you're going to be disappointed Ritchie, because this time, I've switched things up!"
"What?" Roxanne asked, raising one of her eyebrows.
"Oho, yes, Miss Ritchie," said Megamind in a low voice, placing his fingertips together and sauntering towards where she was tied up. "You remember, perhaps, when you asked in your report just how exactly I put all the guards to sleep without affecting myself."
"Yeah," replied Roxanne, leaning away from Megamind who was uncomfortably close.
"Well," Megamind snickered, reaching into his pocket. "The answer is this!"
He held up a small device in the shape of a square. "It is my latest, evilest, most genius invention!" He laughed his evil laugh. "It gives off a wave, if you will, which affects the inner ear, causing the body to sleep!"
Roxanne stared at Megamind for a long moment then said, "that's actually… kind of amazing."
"Finally!" cried Megamind tossing up his hands. "Someone recognizes my genius."
"Yeah, yeah, don't let your head get any bigger," snapped Roxanne.
"All right, all right," muttered Megamind, resuming his sinister pose over Roxanne.
"There's just a couple things I don't get," said Roxanne, her reporting powers switching on. "One, how do you manage to stay untouched by the waves."
Megamind laughed. "You ask the simplest questions sometimes, Miss Ritchie," he said, starting to really get into his bragging. "It's silly really, that such a genius plot has such a simple escape routee."
"Route, sir, you don't pronounce the e at the end," corrected Minion.
"Yes, thank you Minion," said Megamind dramatically. "Anyway, as I was saying, it's really quiet simple."
Roxanne shook her head. "Earplugs. Of course."
"Yes! Ear- wait what?"
"Isn't that right?" Roxanne asked watching Megamind who had held up his finger dramatically as though he was making a point, then slumped in sheer disappointment, for some reason.
"Well, yes, but how did you know?" asked Megamind looking dispirited.
"I'd like to think I fairly intelligent," Roxanne replied sarcastically.
"Fine, yes, you are, indeed, smarter than the average Metrosity citizen," muttered Megamind. "But neither you, nor Metro Man will be able to stop me when I press this button!" he said, back to his overly sensational antics.
"Ah yes," said Roxanne looking a the large button. "What does the big red button do, Megamind?" she asked, loading the question with as much sarcasm as possible.
"I've place one of my devices a top Metro tower, which will pick up the signal of my sleeping waves and send it all over the city! Everyone will be asleep, then I will take control of Metrosity!" Megamind curled his hands above his head and tipped his head back in a bout of evil laughter.
Roxanne didn't say anything, not wanting to let on that for the first time, she was actually a little frightened of Megamind. Instead, she took a deep breath and thought of a way to sway the subject away from the whole city falling asleep.
"Ok then, if you're just going to make everyone fall asleep, why did you kidnap me? You didn't need to lure Metro Man here, he'll just fall asleep like the rest of Metro City, won't he?"
Megamind looked at her in surprise. "Well yes. You actually really have nothing to do with this plan at all."
If Roxanne had a free hand, she would have smacked herself in the head with it. "So why did you kidnap me?"
Megamind shrugged. "Force of habit, I guess."
Roxanne just stared at him for a moment. "That's… the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"
Megamind groaned. "I should have kept the gag. You're talking constantly gets on my nerves."
"Well your kidnapping me constantly gets on my nerves, ever thought of that?" snapped Roxanne.
"You're the worst captive ever! You never scream-"
"Because you're not scary!"
"You're sassy-"
"I guess it's just in my nature."
"And your prettiness always distracts me!" finished Megamind triumphantly. Then his two blue hands flew up to his mouth in horror.
"Well then- what?" asked Roxanne in surprise.
"Nothing! Forget I ever said that! Minion! Minion! Where is the forget-me-stick?" He cried in a panic.
Roxanne merely sat in her chair, mouth hanging open in surprise.
"I can't find it sir!" Minion called.
"All right, all right," said Megamind soothingly to himself. "Let's see, how do I handle this?"
There was a crash and Metro Man flew through the roof.
Roxanne assumed that there was some usual banter, but she found herself completely unable to hear any of it. Something about Metro Man hearing Megamind's dire plot with his super hearing, had smashed his device and would now save Roxanne and all of Metro City.
Finally, Metro Man laser beamed the ropes off of Roxanne and flew her off. She looked back at Megamind for a split second. His big green eyes were opened wide and seemed to plead: don't say a word!
She knew for sure that she wouldn't.
