Chapter 4
Adeline was walking around the small city and zipped her new jacket up as it started snowing. Since Sam ended up leaving her jacket at the motel during the whole thing with Anna he had bought her a new one. Her brothers' were back at the motel watching tv and drinking.
They just got done taking out a vampire and they were celebrating the kill. Adeline snuck out while Dean was in the bathroom. Sam hadn't even notice her slip out the door since he was so into the movie playing on the tv.
"Merry Christmas!" A bell ringer told her as she passed by him.
Adeline nodded her head toward him and continued walking, taking in the lights and Christmas decorations. Merry Christmas, yeah right…..she thought stopping to watch a couple on a bench. It was just her luck that the man decided to propose.
Her stomach clenched tightly as she walked faster ignoring how the girl screamed yes and her now fiancé spun her around. Adeline continued walking and didn't stop till she was at the doors of a church. She took in a breath then opened the doors and sat down in the only empty pew that was in the back.
She watched as the children sung and her stomach clenched again and her chest hurt for a moment before going away. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a sucker, it was a green bubble gum filled one, her favorite. She popped it into her mouth and continued watching the Christmas Eve play the children were doing.
Her skin started tingling and she heard the flutter of wings.
"Something horrible must have happened to me after Christmas." Adeline whispered to the angel who she knew was sitting beside her.
"Yet, I'm here at a church watching a Christmas play. Why is that Blue eyes?" Adeline turned her head towards the angel.
Castiel frowned at the girl he knew exactly why she was feeling dread and why she was at a church this night. But he knew better than to tell her, after all the memories were erased for a reason although he only erased part of Christmas and the night before it since she was very happy those two days and it felt wrong to take all of that from her.
"I remember coming to these plays the last few Christmas Eves. I remember feeling happy about being at them. I don't feel those feelings now." Adeline continued telling him as she looked back at the children.
"What are you feeling?" Castel asked her curious still watching her.
"Pain, lots and lots of pain along with despair. Yet I don't want to leave, I want to stay and remember something except I can't." Adeline told him the truth of what she was feeling.
She couldn't bring herself to lie, she was tired of lies. Adeline felt something wet on her face and she swiped her hand across it. Tears, she realized. She looked over at Castiel who was watching her with furrowed brows and a tilted head.
"This was supposed to be a happy memory. Why are you crying?"
He was confused, he saw her smiling face in this memories of her going to Christmas Eve plays.
"I can take it away from you." Castiel told her as he moved his hand to her face.
Adeline grabbed it and pulled it down next to her leg. "
Leave it." She told him wiping the rest of her tears off her face.
"It's just my soul crying out for something, who am I to stop it? I also have a feeling just blocking or even taking it away won't stop the tears."
Castiel frowned at her response figuring she was right after all this was a scar on her soul, he looked over at her hand still holding on to his. Her hand was small with long fingers, it was also warm and as much as Castiel wanted her to let go of his hand he wanted her to continue holding it.
"So, you never answered me. What happens to me once my soul breaks?"
Castiel turned his eyes back to hers back at her and Adeline let go of his hand. She missed the warmth it brought her and she wanted to grab his hand again which was weird because she wasn't an affection seeking kind of girl.
"A few things. You could die, go insane, or in a coma. Or you could be angry and in pain and nothing could fix that. The last thing that could happen is you would be emotionless." Castiel answered missing her hand on his.
"Emotionless huh, I like that one the most." Adeline hummed.
Castiel looked at her surprised and it grew when he heard a crunch. Adeline pulled out her empty stick and stuck it in her black jacket lined with fake black fur. It was a warm jacket and she did like it, she would have to thank Sam later for it. She blew a bubble then felt Castiel looking at her so she turned to him with a raised eyebrow as she popped it.
"Why would you choose to be emotionless?"
Adeline snorted at the angel, "I'm not choosing it Flyboy. I'm just saying I prefer that to the other options we got going there. It would be better than feeling all this. If it ends up being coma though, feel free to stop by every once in a while. Update me on what's going on in the world, how my brothers are doing. You'll also have to make sure they don't do anything stupid to fix me." She smirked.
"How can you smile about this?"
Castiel didn't understand her jokes. He couldn't decipher how she could be smiling at the thought of going into a coma or becoming emotionless. They were horrible things and their emotions were what Castiel liked about humans.
Adeline got up from the pew and the angel followed her out the doors of the church. He heard the sound of applause before he shut the door.
"Because I'm prepared now that I know what could happen or you've already told me I don't have long. Why be depressed about that?"
She told him walking in the new snow that was on the ground.
"Your emotions are part of what make you human and you'd be losing that. Where are we going?"
Adeline turned back to him with a raised brow.
"I'm going to a bar. No idea what your plans entail of Blue eyes."
"I thought you weren't depressed?"
Castiel knew that the humans usually drank their sorrow and depression away.
"Not about the soul thing."
"Then what? I also thought you stopped drinking a few years ago."
He asked her confused as Adeline spat out her gum on the ground.
"I did, but I can't remember the reason why. So the real question should be why I haven't been drinking till now?"
Adeline answered and walked into the bar with Castiel in tow. She was surprised he was still here, didn't he have some seals to protect? She even voiced her thoughts aloud to him.
"My garrison it working on it. Besides you should not be alone right now."
Castiel told her as an answer to which Adeline just rolled her eyes.
I don't need to be babysat. Adeline sat down at the bar and ordered a scotch.
"Want anything Blue eyes?"
Castiel shook his head no before sitting down beside her.
"Now tell me, why shouldn't I be alone?" She asked turning her chair to face him.
"You're in pain Adeline. Soo much that I can feel it miles away, I'm betting other angels too and they're curious about you. About the girl whose eyes didn't burn, whose soul is breaking. The girl we didn't know anything about until after the mark of the witness."
"Hmm." Adeline hummed but before she could give a proper response the cute bartender gave her glass of scotch.
"Merry Christmas, drinks on me pretty lady."
He winked at her and Adeline gave him her best fake smile before raising her glass at him and took a sip. Castiel frowned at the interaction he didn't understand it.
"Your drink isn't on him." He told her.
Adeline turned to him amused as she took another drink.
"Not literally no, he means that he's paying for my first drink." She explained to him wondering if all angels were like this or if this was just purely Castiel.
"Then why didn't he just explain it that way and why did he wink at you?"
"Because it's kind of tacky to tell a girl Hey here is your drink and I just paid for it so no worries there sugar. The wink was because he wants he me to have sex with him, it's also the reason why he's paying for my drinks. Watch this." Adeline told him before she downed her glass of scotch.
As she expected the bartender came back with a smile.
"Scotch still or maybe something else?" He asked her.
Adeline smiled sweetly at him and laid her hand on his wrist.
"Surprise me."
The bartender smiled before he started mixing a drink for her.
"So, do I get a name for the girl I'm mixing up something special for?" He smiled flirtatiously.
"That depends on how good it tastes." Adeline winked at him.
He smiled and set the just mixed drink in front of her. Adeline hoped it tasted sweet as she lifted the glass to her mouth.
"Mmm. Tastes good." She lied to him as she set the drink back down. He smiled at her before leaving her alone again with Castiel.
"Why did you lie to him?"
"To get more drinks out of him I have to flatter him."
Castiel didn't understand her lies to the male but he stayed silent just watching as she took a few sips here and there. They sat like that for a while until the bartender came back and Adeline asked for a cream soda laced with something. She didn't care what as long as it tasted good. After a wink and few fake smiles the guy finally left her to drink in silence.
She couldn't help thinking back to her past Christmas Eves. She would sit in the back of the church and watch the plays that either children put on or adults it depended where she was at the time. She liked watching the children most. They were so innocent and adorable. Adeline frowned as that pang in her chest came back and her stomach clenched up. She took a few breaths and it went away. What was the cause of this pain? She wondered as she drank, she cast a glance at Castiel who was looking around.
He really didn't fit in here and actually looked uncomfortable, yet here he was staying because he didn't want her to be alone. Adeline chugged the rest of her drink and set it down harder than she meant to.
Castiel looked back at her and tilted his head. She ignored him and instead turned her attention to the bartender.
"So, do I get the name of the guy who's bought me three drinks already?"
She drew a circle on his wrist and wasn't meeting his gaze. She knew how to play types like him.
"Daniel." He whispered bending down to her ear.
Adeline peered at him from underneath her lashes as he backed away.
"Well Daniel, I would love a few shots of the strongest drink you got."
She raised her head with a sweet smile. Daniel grinned at her and said he would be right back. As soon as his back turned Adeline dropped the smile. Free drinks…free drinks… She chanted in her head getting tired of this.
"The memories you lost, do you want them back?"
Castiel asked seeing her distress wondering if she was bothered about not having them. Adeline turned to him and frowned.
"Hell no."
The bartender set down three shots in front of her then whispered into her ear. "My shift is almost over, how about you and I get out of here and enjoy ourselves a nice Christmas Eve."
He pulled back and Adeline quickly downed each shot one right after the other then stood up and bent so she could whisper in his ear. "Thanks for the drinks hotshot, but you're not my type."
She pulled away before he could react then grabbed Castiel's hand pulling him out the door with her.
"You bitch!" The guy shouted before she made it out.
"Why did he call you a female dog?" Castiel asked her confused as they walked.
"You're so innocent." Adeline told him looking up instead of answering his question.
She looked down and saw his hand in her grasp and she let go quickly then sighed at the sense of lost she felt. Man something is wrong with me tonight. She stopped walking and looked around to see where else she could go tonight.
"I'm not innocent, I'm a soldier of the Lord. I've killed many."
Castiel frowned at her clasping his hands behind his back. The few people who had passed by as Castiel made that statement looked at the two of them oddly.
"I wouldn't be bragging about that in public." Adeline snorted noticing the looks that Castiel didn't.
Adeline spun around enjoying the slight buzz she had, she opened her mouth to catch a few snowflakes then turned back to Castiel who was still giving her a kind of pissy look. Snow got in her eye and she swiped the wetness away before she opened her mouth and caught a few of them.
"How about you catch some snowflakes with me Blue eyes?"
"Why don't you ever call me by my name?" Castiel asked her instead of doing as she suggested.
"Names, have to be earned." Adeline told him in reply before walking off again.
"What do you mean earned and Why don't you go back to your brothers?"
"It also seems to bother you greatly that I don't call you by your name. I'll leave In a second."
Adeline stood in front of the city's Christmas tree and looked it up and down. She liked the lights on it, they were beautiful.
"Pretty, right?" She turned back to him and saw he was looking at the tree as well.
"Yes."
Adeline looked back at the tree and the two of them just stood there watching the tree in silence.
"Why don't you want your memories back?" Castiel finally asked her.
"I just don't."
Adeline didn't know how to explain it but she knew she didn't want them back at least not right now. She knew they were something horrible and she shuddered at the thought of what they could be.
"The angel who took them, had a reason right? Maybe he was doing as you did. Just trying to prolong my soul." She whispered not looking at him even though she could feel him watching her.
She continued feeling his stare and frowned before looking at him. He had his head tilted to the side and seemed almost worried about her she thought.
"Come on and walk me back to the motel."
She told him not able to come up with anything to say to him. He was looking at her so intently that Adeline thought he could see inside her. Castiel followed her at a distance watching her back. He couldn't take his eyes off this girl for some reason and he didn't like that. He felt the need to watch her and protect her even though he knew she wouldn't like it. Castiel was thinking about the reasons why he wanted to watch her that he didn't notice her stop and he bumped into her back. Adeline almost fell but she caught herself then turned and glared at the angel.
"I apologize." Castiel told her frowning.
Adeline's eyes softened and she looked in Castiel's eyes. So blue she thought before she was standing in front of him.
"Blue eyes, come here." Adeline told him wagging her finger downwards.
Castiel just frowned not understanding what she wanted him to do. Adeline sighed then grabbed his tie so he had to bend a little.
"Thanks for being my drinking buddy." She said once they were eye level.
The angel just looked at her surprised before his eyebrows came together. He was about to speak but what she did next stunned him.
Adeline saw the surprise in his very blue eyes and smirked. If something like this surprises him what would a kiss do?
She grabbed Castiel's chin with her free hand and turned his head gently before placing a kiss on his cheek. She let go of his tie and backed up with a drunken grin.
"That's your Christmas present, Blue Eyes." Castiel just furrowed his eyebrows at her then with a flutter of wings he disappeared.
Adeline snorted, "Merry Christmas Blue eyed angel." She said to the empty space before she went inside the motel to join the drinking Dean and Sam had going on.
