Disclaimer: i do not own the song 'Almost Lover' it is by 'A fine frenzy' nor do i own Ouran, or its characters. I just wish i did.


"Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?"


I am pulled away from her as the doctors work on reviving her. A kind nurse leads me out of the ward, pouring out words of encouragement and comfort. I don't hear any of it. She sits me down in the waiting room, handing me a cup of badly made coffee.

But I just really wanted to throw it against the wall.

For the first time I find something that I want to have and protect for my whole life and fate decides to torture me with this. I would have never met her in my life. Never would I have even seen her, let alone know her name but yet somehow she is so ingrained in my life that the prospect of losing her is far worse than losing my own life. I never planned for this to happen. So what is it? Fate? Destiny? God? My just rewards for being such a bastard?

I feel helpless, and I don't like it.

What is this girl to me anyway? She's just someone I met once or twice. But yet she is so important to me?


I slowly drift into consciousness of the world around me, my vision blurry to begin with but everything starts to come into a greater focus. I open my eyes and look up to the ceiling. For a long while I stay like that, just adjusting my eyes to the light, when I hear a soft click to my left I turn my head slight to that side to see the back of a nurse. When she comes to my bed side I ask her,

"Is my mother around?" She smiles at me before adjusting something on the IV dropper.

"She's resting now, but she's just outside your room. I'll call her in after I fix your IV. The doctor predicted that you would come to by today." Checking that everything was in working 

order she leaves to call my mother in. The woman who walked in that door looked like my mother but her face was drawn too tight to have been my mother. My heart hurt looking at her. I caused my mother that much worry and pain. She wearily makes her way to me before enveloping me in a warm hug.

"I'm sorry mum." I whisper. I hear her take a deep breath in before sobbing into my shoulder.

"It doesn't matter honey, I love you and you're fine. That's all I care about." I rub her back comfortingly we stay like that for awhile before she pulls back and settles herself into a chair next to my bed. Brushing my hair away from my face she says,

"Your dad is at work now but he'll come by this evening." I nod mutely before asking,

"How long was I out for?"

"About three days. The doctors said that if you didn't wake up by tomorrow you'd be in a great risk of being in a coma." Her lips tremble before she bit on her bottom lip to stop her tears.

"I'm ok now mum." I say reassuringly, giving her a smile and she returns a half-hearted one.

And so I spend the next week resting and recovering in the hospital, Karin visits me every day with updates at school and homework to do. But I never see him. As much as I try to pretend it doesn't matter, a niggling in my heart keeps me awake on most nights. One night I lie there on my bed just staring up to the ceiling and as always my thoughts drift to him and a new sensation pierces my heart.

Why don't you come? I miss you so much.

Without moving a muscle tears begin their initially slow trek down my face before the stream becomes a river. Sucking in a hard breath more tears make their way down my face. Even after closing my eyes the tears still keep streaming from under my closed lids.

In the morning I wake up with a tear stained face.

The day passes with nothing eventful happening, the nurses come and go, the hospital food appears and disappears everything moving as it always had. Until the evening when my mother visits me with a large overnight bag I recognise.

"Hi honey." She smiles before kissing me, I point to the bag.

"What's happening?"

"I was going to come see you this afternoon but it got too busy for me to come to tell you that you're being discharged today." She smiles even more and I pull my face into a smile. If you could even call that a smile.

"That's great." She frowns for a moment,

"Is anything the matter honey?" I look at her concerned face and mentally slap myself into shape. There's no reason why my mother should worry about my ridiculous pining. I force another smile to look more natural.

"Nothing, nothing... Just a little tired." I say giving her a small smile. She breaks out into a relieved smile,

"That's normal. Come on I've got to pack up your things. When your dad comes we'll be going home."

"When is he arriving?" I ask.

"In a few moments, I got a call from him just a while ago telling me he'd be here soon."

"Oh... ok then." I smile at my mum again to reassure her.

That night I lie in my unused bed for over three weeks. It had a strange feel. As if it wasn't my bed anymore. I lay there for a period of time which had just stopped but in reality time was always moving. I shut my eyes and hope for the restful darkness of deep sleep to claim me. Within moments a dreamscape of an alternate reality took hold of my mind and senses.

A slim hand caresses my collar bone, its owner leaning next to my ear whispering words so soft it's almost a breath. I don't catch a word but I feel every sensation. A soft lip brushing against my ear, a gentle hand on my back, a barely there finger tracing my collar bone up my neck, outlining my face.

A tear slips down my face. The hand reaches up and wipes it away. I try to see its owner's face but I never see it. The unknown lover holds me close, always whispering into my ear but a word I do not catch. The tears never stop. The gentle hand never stops wiping away the tears. The gentle touches of comfort never stop.

I open my eyes to the bright light of the day. My pillow is damp with tears.

Why don't you come? I miss you so much.

I roll onto my side away from the door when my mother comes in.

"Honey, it's time for breakfast." She gently shakes my shoulders.

"I'm not hungry yet mum. I'll come out soon." She sighs softly before leaving, shutting the door quietly behind her.

You bastard. Why don't you come? I sob soundlessly into my pillow. My heart twists harder and I sob harder into my pillow. Remembering his expression the last time I saw him made the pain worse.

In the week I was given off school I got myself together. I stopped myself from thinking about him. The moment I think about him the flood gates open. So life went on as usual, well as normal as I could force myself into. Every day I pass those gates and every time I force myself to look somewhere else, if Karin noticed she never mentioned it. My heart was sealed and so were the tears.

Today is the same as every other day. The moment I leave my room I seal my heart up and fake everything I show to people. Once I bid goodbye to Karin and went my own way my shoulders dropped, my smile stopped giving some relief to my aching face muscles. How did I smile so much before without feeling the pain? I'm sure he doesn't even think about me. It's just me. My mask is cracking. I quickly patch it up, I still have to give face to my parents, and it can't come off until I go to bed.

As I let my feet do the walking, I keep my head down just barely able to stop myself from crying.

"Why are you looking like that?" The shock makes me look up suddenly; it gives me no time to plaster over my mask. That voice so deeply imprinted in my mind I was convinced for a moment that it was just a mere construct of my mind until I see him standing in front of my front gate.

My eyes brim over with tears. That's the last straw; I can't hold it in any more. Crying with abandon I drop my bag on the floor sobbing my eyes out. And just like my dream of the unknown lover he is next to me, hugging and comforting me.

"Where... I..." I never finish my sentences. I just keep crying into his shoulder to stop myself from choking on my own tears.

"I'm sorry." That is all he says. I cry harder into his shoulder and curl up into his warm chest...

My eyes snap open. I'm in my room. Lying in my bed. I hear my mother calling for me. Its morning, time for school. My pillow is soaked with my tears. What? It was just a... dream...? My heart breaks into a million pieces. I cry and cry I sob and bawl. The door opens with great haste and my mother is beside me in a moment.

"Honey? Honey?! What's the matter? What's wrong? Why are you crying? Does anything hurt?" Everything hurts. Everything. I hug my mother and cry even harder.


A/N: sigh sorry everyone! you had to wait this long and all you get is Isane breaking down... kicks self the author is sincerly sorry TT hope you enjoyed it tho! (somehow...) please do leave a review! any comments, critque etc will be nice flames as usual will go into the bin.