Hey look it wasn't a huge wait for this chapter!

So I woke up this morning really really wanting to get something out to you guys today. But when I finally sat down, I had a really rough time at first. So I apologize if bits of this are just bleh. It got better by the end but still!

Let me just say that you guys are AMAZING. The feedback from the last chapter was incredible. I'm so happy that you guys are enjoying this. Oh! And thank you for all the comments about my knee! It's doing better every day! :)

So with that, enjoy chapter 4!

Warnings: Alcohol and drug use. (Kids will be kids. It's okay, I promise.)

Note: Sorry for any mistakes, as always. Wanted to get thing up as soon as possible!


Angel on the Balcony:

Chapter 4

Before Dean could even stop to look around, two months of his senior year had passed right underneath his feet and early November brought a steady chill to the state of Kansas.

So when Gabriel suggested the idea of getting one last camping trip in before winter really started rolling in, Dean was the first one at their lunch table to give an, "I'm in."

The group had been doing it ever since Gabriel first got his license when he was 16. For his birthday Gabriel was allowed to pick out any used car from the lot and naturally he had chosen a sky blue, VW camper van that looked like it had rolled straight out of the 60's. Like many people who had an uncanny likeness to their cars, Gabriel was no exception.

So when school became stressful and the conditions were good, everyone packed an overnight duffle and a sleeping bag, and pitched in five bucks for a case or two of beer (provided by Gabriel's own fake ID) as well as just about everything from the snack aisle in their local grocery store before they drove off to a small camp site three hours down the road.

"So does that work for everyone?" Gabriel had asked, leaning toward the center of the lunch table. Before anyone had a chance to reply, he had slammed a fist on the table and said, "Awesome. Friday at 5 pm. Be ready for me to pick your lucky asses up. It's going to be a good weekend."

At 4:55 pm that Friday, Dean had already slung his duffle over his shoulder, kissed Mary on the cheek, patted John on the back, promised to stay out of too much trouble, and ignored Sam's somewhat jealous glare when he was out the door and onto the Novak's front porch where Castiel was sitting with his things, rocking gently on a wicker rocking chair.

Castiel's head turned up as Dean stepped across the creaky panels to sit on the banister across from him, "You ready for a great weekend, Cas?"

Castiel shrugged, "I hope so."

Dean's eyebrows furrowed just a bit at that, but he smiled through it before leaning forward and tapping Castiel's shins with his foot, "Hope so? I think you know so."

Castiel looked only somewhat convinced as he lifted his head in Dean's general direction, "I mean, I've never really done this sort of thing before."

"You mean you've never had fun?" Dean asked jokingly, "Because, come on Castiel. You've been hanging around with me for the last three months. Don't tell me you haven't learned to have just a little fun!"

Dean felt a weight lift off his chest when he saw Castiel's face break open into an open-mouthed smile and he replied with, "I mean camping, Dean. And with your friends."

"My friends? Cas, they're your friends too." The worried look came back to Castiel's face as fast as it had left and Dean instantly became intent on clearing it right off, "Seriously, man, they like you a lot. Trust me."

"Why would they?"

"Well, why do I like you?"

"I have no idea, you tell me."

And though Dean had seen Castiel concerned, Dean had never seen him like this. Castiel's shoulders were tensed and he was chewing nervously at his lower lip, sightless eyes downcast at his intertwined fingers, knuckles white with the force in which he was clenching them.

And Dean knew he liked Castiel. That was a given. He liked Castiel from the moment he saw him, though no one had ever questioned him why, not even himself. But why did he like Castiel? What made him want to get up early on a Sunday so he could wait for the Novaks to come home from church? What made him want to sit next to Castiel on his balcony, staring in complete silence at the fields that seemed to stretch on to the end of the world? What made that silence a comfortable one? What made him wish that he could just stay there forever? Made him wish that he never had to leave his side, and made it feel as though he had to tear himself away when he did?

Dean knew he liked safety. He liked when things were predictable. He liked when things stayed the same. He liked knowing that his friends were always going to be idiots that could make him laugh at just about anything. He liked knowing that Sam was always going to roll his eyes at his dumb jokes. He liked knowing that he was always going to hate Zachariah's class and that when he talked shit in class, he was always going to get a detention.

But he never knew when Castiel was going to smile. He never knew what Castiel was thinking when they sat in silence, the world stretching endlessly before the two of them. He could never imagine what it was like to be blind, to live in darkness, to rely on what others tell you the world looks like. He could never imagine what it would be like to belong to a world that you don't even have the privilege to see.

Castiel was not safe. Castiel was not predictable. Castiel did not stay the same.

So why did he like Cas?

Before Dean even had the opportunity to verbalize some sort of reassurance, he heard the distant sound of music rolling up the barren road and the enthusiastic honking of Gabriel at the wheel.

Jo was sat in the passenger seat and she cranked down the window, yelling out to them, "Hop in boys!"

"You heard the girl, Cas. You ready?"

When he turned around, it pained Dean to see that Castiel still looked apprehensive about the whole situation. So he threw his own duffle over his shoulder, picked up his sleeping bag, and used his other arm to hook it around Castiel's shoulder, pulling him to his side, "If I make a promise that you'll be alright, will you trust me on it?"

It took a moment for Castiel to lift his head and nod, but when he did, Dean could see a nervous smile had returned to his face, "Fine. I trust you."

Patting his back reassuringly, Dean guided them over to the van, the side door sliding open to reveal Garth and Meg. The entire back of the van consisted of a half circle couch with a small table in the center where a bag of Doritos and two cokes were already opened. As Dean climbed into the back as well, he looked over the seats into the trunk to see a pile of duffles, sleeping bags, a huge red cooler, and grocery bags containing what looked to contain everything from flashlights to doughnut holes.

"Looks like we're well-stocked, Gabe!" Dean called as he gave Cas a lift into the spot beside him.

"You bet your ass we are, Winchester!" Gabriel called over his shoulder as he ignited the car and tore down the road once more, "I always take care of my favorite sons and daughters."

Dean grinned, rolling his eyes and indicating to the cup holders up front, "Is that why you've already opened a Bud?"

"Actually that's mine." Jo replied, kicking her heels up on the dashboard.

"S'pose it's 5 o'clock somewhere."

"It's 5 o'clock now, you ass." And with that Jo grabbed her beer and took a long swing, letting out a satisfied sigh as she dropped it back into the cup holder, "Don't you get stingy on me, Winchester."

"Wouldn't dare, Harvelle."

Dean relaxed back into the couch, glancing around at the inside of the van at its tacky wood paneling and multiple polaroids that were stuck crookedly along the edge of the windows. He was pictured a lot, though he really couldn't remember most of the blurry shots. It wasn't until he looked at one picture at the edge of the door when he suddenly he noticed someone missing.

"Hey, where's Lisa?"

"Sick with the stomach flu." Meg replied, shuffling a deck of cards on the table, "Vomiting since three in the morning."

"Ugh." Dean cringed, looking briefly at Castiel to see that he had pulled the same face.

"But never fear! Even in her absence, Lisa's spirit lives on in her beloved mixed tapes!" Gabriel proclaimed suddenly, turning the volume dial up until the van was vibrating with the sounds of banjos, tambourines, and what sounded like a kazoo.

"I'm friends with a bunch of damn hippies!" Dean managed to yell over the music, though he found himself smiling fondly.

"Not our fault that our glory days came twenty years before yours!" Garth said with a crooked grin, leaning over the back seat to reach into the cooler and pull out a cold beer, tossing it to Dean, "What do you want to drink, Castiel?"

Castiel's head perked up at the mention of his name from where he had been slowly dissolving into the background of the controlled chaos in front of him, "Water?"

Garth laughed at that, though it was a good-natured, "Sorry this is America. We have Coke or beer, you choose."

"Coke then." Castiel replied and Dean was comforted by the up-turn of his lips as Castiel leaned across him towards Garth's voice, hand out-stretched.

"Alright so which of you poor souls am I going to take down in Black Jack first?" Meg spoke up, reaching behind her into her duffle and pulling out a bag of poker chips.

"Cas and I are on a team." Dean replied, a grin stretched across his face as he slung an arm around Castiel's shoulder, "Dynamic duo. Right, Cas?"

And Dean doesn't think he could ever quite annunciate the feeling that welled up inside of him when he felt Castiel scoot just a bit closer to him, his shoulders relaxing beneath his grip, and his features pulling into one of content. Though it felt familiar to the same feeling that he got when he'd laughed until he'd cried and he'd just coming down from that euphoria, this feeling was one that felt both subdued and overwhelming at the same time. It felt as though he was about to burst, but at the same time everything felt just right.

And somewhere in Dean's subconscious, he knew exactly what that feeling was.

And that it felt a little like love.


Dean never knew how Gabriel got most of his contacts, but most of the time he was just glad that he did. As they pulled up to the camp site registration booth, it only took a small exchange of words before they were directed in, Gabriel waving out the window and driving down a small dirt road into the depths of the site.

They drove another ten minutes before Gabriel pulled into a small clearing at the banks of a large lake, the moon already gleaming across its surface from within the darkening sky. The spot was their usual place, open enough to look at the stars but enclosed enough that they were out of direct sight from the road. It was also perfect for skinny-dipping when the weather was warmer and was equipped with a bonfire pit in the center. And last but not least, it was only a two minute walk from the porta-potties which the girls always appreciated.

"Welcome, campers!" Gabriel proclaimed as they screeched to a stop on the faded grass. He turned around in his seat, a look of mock-seriousness on his face as he eyed each of them down, "Now everyone do their share and unload all the shit in the back."

They all piled out and lifted up the trunk door, heaving all of their bags into a new pile just as haphazard as the last. Fold out chairs were immediately placed around the bonfire pit and Dean coudn't help but fall back into one, stretching out his legs and groaning.

"Slacking already, Winchester?" Jo's voice carried from where she stood grinning at the back of the van, three grocery bags hanging from each of her scrawny arms.

"Long car ride! I've got leg cramps!" Dean replied, begrudgingly standing up from his chair again and trudging over to help Garth lift out the cooler and bring it over.

All the while that everyone unloaded the van, Castiel stood to the side, leaning against the passenger door and taking in the sounds and feelings of the camp site, the rustle of the wind in the trees, and the cool breeze that carried off the lake.

Dean walked over to him when it looked as though everyone else could handle the rest of the unloading, taking hold of his arm and leading him to the bonfire pit. Dean guided Castiel back into one of the chairs before kneeling next to the pit, piling a couple logs into a cabin-type structure and crumbling newspaper and small sticks beneath it, "So what do you think?"

Castiel smiled, leaning forward in his chair towards where Dean was dumping lighter fluid on the wood and attempting to strike a match, "I like the feel of this place."

Dean glanced up and couldn't help but share the same content smile that stretched across Castiel's face. When he saw that smile, something inside of him clicked into place and made him feel as though he had done something right by that smile. That that was his purpose, to make sure that it never faded. To make sure that Castiel was alright and that he never broke his promise.

"Well I like the feel of warmth, so Mr. Winchester, if you please~" He looked up at Meg as she and the rest of the group dragging over their own chairs and crowded around the bonfire pit, looking at him expectantly.

Dean sighed, "Yeah, yeah. If this damn match would just- Oh there we go." On his last strike, the match flared up in his grip and he tossed it into the pit, the light of the flickering fire reflecting back in his eyes, "Happy?"

Meg grinned, practically purring as she held her hands up to the flame and replied, "Ah, yes."

Dean sat back in his chair, lifting his feet up, loving the way that it seemed to melt the cold from the bottoms of his feet to the tip of his ears.

"So what's on the menu, Gabe?" Jo asked from Dean's right.

"Well, since you asked." Gabriel turned in his seat to rifle through some of the grocery bags at his feet, "For dinner we have enough smore makings to make you sick." He tossed a box of graham crackers at Dean, a bag of marshmallows to Jo, and three packs of Hershey's chocolate at Garth before looking back up with a somewhat mischievous grin. Dean would be lying if he said he wasn't immediately curious, "And for desert, a bit of weed courtesy of my brother Lucy. Enjoy, children."

"You're kidding!" Jo exclaimed, jumping from her seat and grabbing the bag from Gabriel's hands, inspecting it, "Jesus, we haven't had any good weed in ages!"

"Told you it was going to be a good weekend." Gabriel replied, expression smug, "But you've got to eat at least three smores before you can have any. Wouldn't want to ruin your appetite!" But then as an afterthought, he added, "And we bought a shit ton of makings so you all better eat them."

Sticks and marshmallows were passed around and Dean looked over to Castiel, "How do you like yours done, Cas?"

"Well, when I was a kid I would always burn them. But I got used to the taste. So burned is good with me."

"Ah, a good man!" Meg exclaimed from the opposite side of the campfire, "Burned is the only way to go. That way you know the inside is melted all the way through."

Dean shook his head though a grin pulled at the corner of his lips, "I respect your marshmallow preference though it is a disgusting one." He glanced over at Castiel to find that he was turned in his direction.

"I'm guessing you're the golden-brown kind, then?" Castiel smirked, eyebrows raised teasingly and Dean's own eyebrows quirked curiously.

"Yes?"

"But let me guess. You like them golden-brown but you don't have the patience to wait for it to be perfect so you just burn it anyway."

"Yes! He always does that!" Garth exclaimed, "But it's hilarious because he'll make it seem like an accident."

"Yeah because we all know how patient Dean is," Jo teased, "'Can hardly sit still for three minutes needs to always be doing something' Winchester, yeah?"

Dean laughed with them, more than able to laugh at himself, when he noticed Castiel's expression. It was one that he got when he was thinking about something, when you could almost see the cogs turning in his head, though Dean could never quite figure out what it was that he was thinking about.

He pulled Castiel's flaming marshmallow back from the fire, blew it out, and fixed up a smore before prodding him in the shoulder, efficiently breaking whatever thought process he was in, "Here you are, Cas. One 'disgustingly burnt' smore just for you."

"Oh, thank you." Castiel lifted the smore to his lips and took a bite. A small moan of appreciation escaped his lips and Dean could help but grin.

"Ah, that's the sound I like to hear!" Gabriel proclaimed, "Everybody now!"

And they all took bites of their own smores and made their own collective moan of happiness.

As the night wore on, the group ate as many smores as they could before feeling sick to their stomachs before they finally broke open the weed, sharing drags around the bonfire until they were all feeling loose and warm, lazy smiles hanging off all of their faces.

Dean had initially been surprised when Castiel had held out a hand for a drag. Sensing the look Dean was giving him, Castiel had just scoffed and said in a voice low enough for only Dean to hear, "You promised I would be alright and I said I would trust you, so here you go."

Now, as Dean took in a long drag of smoke into his lungs and let it out slowly, he couldn't help the way that his head lolled to the said, fixated on Castiel. He couldn't help the way that his eyes drifted from his unnaturally blue eyes, down his sharp jawline, exposed neck, and collarbone where his sweater hung loose on his features. He couldn't help that he was numb to anything else around him until Jo had to literally kick his chair over so she could take the next drag before the joint went out.

And Dean couldn't even bother to be embarrassed by the stifled snickers that came from all around him, like they knew something that he didn't. Or maybe he did. He wasn't quite sure. Everything was a bit blurry, as if the thought he was reaching for lay just beyond a veil of water. He could see it there, but couldn't quite make it out. And suddenly he understood why he didn't remember most of the polaroids that hung in the van.

"I declare a toast!" Gabriel said, standing up and wobbling slightly, "To us, naturally. The best around. I couldn't be a prouder father."

"Sit down you old man!" Dean shouted and joined with the others as they all raised their drinks with a loud cheer.

And Dean wished that he could capture this moment and hang it in the van. Because right here, right now, beside his friends and beside Cas, everything was literally picture-perfect.


After a couple more hours around the campfire, one by one, everyone began slowly walking off back to the van where they grabbed their sleeping bags and made room for themselves in the van before falling asleep.

First it was Meg, then Garth, then Jo who dragged Gabriel along when he fell asleep in his chair. Eventually it was just Dean and Castiel, side by side before the fading fire and Dean was reminded of how they sat side by side on Castiel's balcony nearly every night. And, like then, their silence was quiet but comfortable. Dean's eyelids began to droop slightly but he knew that he couldn't sleep just yet. He had something important to say.

"Cas?" He asked, eyes closing so that he was submerged in the same, warm darkness.

"Hm?" He heard Castiel hum beside him, so close that their arms and the arms of their folding chairs were touching. Dean let out a long breath, feeling sleep edging in on him, but he resisted, gripping onto Castiel's arm to keep himself tethered to the awaken world.

"You told me to tell you why I like you." Dean breathed, words slurring slightly. If he wasn't still riding out his high, he may have noticed the way that Castiel stiffened slightly beside him.

"…And?"

Dean opened his eyes again, leaning his head back so that he was looking up at the stars, "I'm not quite sure, really." He began, "And, fuck, I'm probably going to screw this up but…" Dean paused for a second, watching one of the stars blink in the night sky, "I like you because I never had to try to like you. I just did. You know, when you first moved in I went on my balcony and saw you on yours. Like, I didn't even know you and I probably should have just left you alone but it was weird because I just couldn't. And it's like that all the time now."

Dean turned his head from sky to look at Castiel. Castiel had since turned his head towards Dean, lips slightly parted as he listened intently.

"And I don't know, Cas." Dean continued, feeling his small speech coming to an end, "I don't really have a straight answer. I just like you because of you."

Dean watched Castiel's expression once more, the same thinking one as before, though he could tell that his thoughts were just as muddled as his own. But then Castiel smiled.

"I'm glad you kept your promise." He said, bringing Dean to attention once more.

And Dean knew he was close enough, knew that this was as good a moment as any to do it. But 'it' was still beyond the veil, distorted and untouchable. And though he was close, Dean still didn't quite know what exactly 'it' was. He couldn't reach to push aside the veil. He was so close, but what he was searching to understand was still too far away. And so he swallowed back whatever 'it' was and looked to the glowing embers, the thought eventually fading once more.

"I always keep my promises, Cas."


Can you feeeeeeeeeeeel the looooooove toniiiiiiiight~

Haha hopefully the next update will be soon?

Reviews are super great!