"I lose my way, and it's not too long before you point it out."
The next couple of hours were spent walking the halls with Derek, talking about anything and everything. She said things to him that she never thought she would say aloud. She told him about how close she had been to Audrey, and about her emotionally distant mother. She felt a great sense of relief, getting it off of her chest, and Derek was a great listener. It surprised her how quickly her friendship had developed with Derek, but they understood one another like no one else seemed to. She had never felt so comfortable with anyone, even Audrey. It scared her a little bit how easily she trusted him.
"Need a ride?" Derek asks when his father's truck pulls up to the curb in front of them.
"I'm meeting my mother for dinner," She says, and whatever face she makes, makes him grin. Unlike her, he had probably never needed braces. She would have to figure out more things that made him smile like that, because it looked good on him. Like it was how he was supposed to look. Like it was how he looked before. "but thank you."
"Anytime." He tells her, and stands up. "See ya next week."
"See ya." She smiles, and watches him walk toward the white land rover. He was definitely luckier than he realized. She was about to go to a dinner her mother probably wouldn't show up for. Her mother had a habit of rescheduling these dinners. She wouldn't mind, but her mother always rescheduled after Meredith had wasted time, waiting at the restaurant. A part of her felt like Ellis made these plans to make sure she showed up. It wasn't about spending time with Meredith at all.
The restaurant was only a couple of blocks from the high school where counseling was held, so at least it was more convenient than usual. She checks in with the hostess, and amazingly enough, her mother had shown up.
"You're here." Meredith sits down at the small table.
"Of course I'm here."
"You've rescheduled a lot."
"I'm sorry if I've had more important things to do." Ellis glances over the menu. "I thought you were mature enough to understand that. I have an entire surgical department to run."
"I understand perfectly."
"Good." Ellis nods. "Your report card came in the mail today."
"Which is why this dinner didn't get rescheduled for the tenth time." Meredith rolls her eyes.
"I would like to speak to you about it, yes." Ellis says. "That could have been done at home, but I have time now."
"What about it has caught your interest?"
"Your grades in algebra and history." Ellis sighs. "It's an embarrassment, Meredith."
"To you, maybe." Meredith closes her eyes, and wonders when their waiter or waitress was going to introduce themselves. It wasn't that she wanted the best for Meredith, either. It was that her teachers knew who Ellis was. Ellis would not stand to be associated with a student who received anything other than As. Bs were unacceptable, even before high school.
"The fact that it doesn't embarrass you worries me even more."
"Considering the circumstances..." Meredith begins to remind her mother about what was going on in her life during the span of time these grades reflected.
"Both subjects are so objective. They should be the easiest to study for." Ellis interrupts her. "There is no excusing your mediocrity."
"I wouldn't dream of it." Meredith smiles disingenuously, because being in advanced math, literature, and science classes was so mediocre. Only mediocre eighth graders took biology with high school sophomores, and set the curve on most exams. She hardly saw the point of any of it, if it would never be good enough.
"If you think your tone is lost on me," Ellis snaps. "you're sorely mistaken."
"I know it isn't lost on you." Meredith shrugs. "It's why I used it."
"Improve those grades, or arrangements will be made to insure you take your education more seriously." Ellis warns. By arrangements, she means sending Meredith to a boarding school in Connecticut. It was only a threat because Meredith enjoyed having her own room, and would put off having a roommate as long as possible. "Are we clear?"
"We're clear." Meredith answers respectfully, and their waitress makes an appearance. They order their drinks, and Meredith begins a new conversation. "I'm thinking of dying my hair darker."
"Why on earth would you do that?" Ellis questions, and sips her wine.
"For a change."
"Preposterous." Ellis says. "I won't allow it."
"It's my hair."
"What would people think if I let you follow whatever whim you should please?"
"That you're teaching me to express myself." Meredith suggests. "That I'm an individual, not a robot?"
"They'll think that I've raised a miscreant, with no regard for authority." Ellis sighs. "I've thought that myself, actually."
"Of course you have." Meredith was infuriated. "You couldn't handle any of that, if it were true."
"Sometimes it feels true, Meredith."
"I'm not very hungry." Meredith excuses herself from the table. "I'll see you at home."
"Meredith..."
"I have more important things to do." Meredith places her napkin on the table. "I thought you were mature enough to understand."
She leaves the restaurant, and begins her walk home. She holds her jacket close to her, and wishes she was anywhere else. Audrey had always been there when her mother made her feel this way. All she wanted to do was talk to Audrey, and she couldn't. It wasn't fair. She takes a deep breath, and stops at the pharmacy before going home. So, her mother didn't want her to dye her hair darker. Pink wasn't necessarily as dark as she had originally planned.
