OK ladies and germs, I would like to start this chapter by saying something to all of you:

THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH!

I know, a little extreme. Here's my reasoning:

I read every single one of your reviews, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM MADE ME HAPPY! You guys really love my work! Thank you so much! And, to show my appreciation, I'm going to reply to every single review on here. I know, not as good as virtual cookies, but I hope you will like them.

Firstly, to my latest reviewer, Candle Dark (I'm working backwards): Thank you. I take it you read my other stories. I'm glad you liked them.

Second, Rose Silverpen: The idea is good, but the content is less than what I'd like to write. If you want to try it, go on ahead, but I'll stick with my current idea. Anyway, thank you so much for the review.

Third, to Hihi: Well, I don't think it's a good idea to give your name out over the internet, but I'll ask.

Fourth, to Agrippina Pelage: Cackling is a sign of greatness. If someone looks at you like they want to stuff you in a straight-jacket, then that means they're afraid of how awesome you are. I'm really glad you like my story, and I hope you enjoy this next installment.

Fifth, to Meercatwhisperer112: Thank you so much. My mom nearly died at the eyebrows part too. If you like the first chapter eyebrows part, you'll love the part in my third chapter, if you haven't already read it!

Sixth, to ashthetyto: Not really sure how to respond to that, but OK. Thank you for taking time to read my story.

Seventh, to Pearlsofwisdom: We share an opinion about Pitch. And he WOULD be the best villain ever seen, IF HE WASN'T A CREEPY, MANROBE-WEARING EYEBROWLESS- oh hell, who am I kidding! THAT JUST MAKES HIM COOLER! Yes, I realized them third one wasn't as funny as the first two, but it's going to get better, I swear.

Eighth, to Invader Sugar: YAY! A fellow user of an evil smile! Thank you so much for a nice review. Have a nice day.

Ninth, to Starskulls (who is the freaking greatest friend I've got!): Ohhh, I think he got it. Just to be cool, I'll post it in one of the next chapters. YAY! CUPCAKE! I'd like a chocolate marshmallow purple cupcake with Oreo sprinkles and melted Gushers and Jellybeans with whip-cream on top! (I know. I'm weird like that.)

Tenth, to Kagirinai-Eternal: Comic genius might be taking it a bit too far, but thank you. I really love it when people believe in me and my stories.

Eleventh, to Splash: I know, I know. And, coincidentally, I'm a dudette. And yes, I should get an award!

Twelfth, to RapunzelTheSnow: It's kind of hard to reply to Yay! But I'll try. Thank you very much for your review. Have a nice day, Punzie!

Thirteenth, to Invader Sugar again: Yes, it is awesome. Thank you for being a loyal reader.

Fourteenth, to Taranodongirl: Agh! Hospital! I don't like hospitals, since they took me away to one for telling them I owned Rise of the Guardians and I had to stay overnight for psycho observation! Hopefully you'll get out sooner than I did!

Fifteenth, to invisi: Oh great. I've killed another one. Mom! Prepare another plot in the back yard! JK, I'm not one of those writers. Yet.

Sixteenth, to FierySense: Epic? Original? The best comedy you've ever read? Thank you so much! Your compliment just made my evening!

Seventeenth, to Ya I'm THAT chick: I love that username, by the way. Oh, burst out all you want. I laugh like a complete maniac at random times a lot.

Eighteenth, to Anotherwitch07: I know. Poor Pitch. Thank you so much.

Nineteenth, to Starskulls: Aww, Starskulls, you're makin' me blush! You really are a great friend.

Twentieth, to Starskulls again!: I love your reply! It it so freaking great! I'm going to make sure Pitch gets this!

Twenty-first, to forever mah luv: Yes, I kind of wanted him to get back at Fanty too, but Fanty is my great friend, so I just made him like her story instead. Honestly, I really love Fanty's work and I'm glad she has such great fans.

Twenty-second, to RandomNightmare: BRING IT ON! I ain't scare o no- ah, Nightmare.

Twenty-third, to darthcat: I am a BlackTooth fan, mostly because of all the stories that feature them in it are really good! Read them!

Twenty-fourth, to Guest: I've never seen whatever movie Slenderman is from, so I don't get that reference. Thank you though.

Twenty-fifth, to pearlsofwisdom: Yes, yes. Lucky lucky readers.

Twenty-sixth: Yes Spark, compliments is spelled right. And you're welcome. You are also awesome!

Twenty-seventh, to Sorida: No, he certainly did not. The Fourth wall is indeed been shashed to pieces. And if it wasn't by the second chapter, IT SURE IS NOW!

Twenty-eighth, to TheDoctor'sAmazingCompanion: Firstly, OI! FISH-FACE! I'VE GOT A JAR OF DIIIIRT, I'VE GOT A JAR OF DIIIIRT! AND GUESS WHAT'S INSIDE IT! Sorry. Had to do it. Anyway, thank you so much for your review.

Twenty-ninth, to BadassCatNinjaXion: I love your name, by the way. Yes, poor Pitch. I have no idea what Slash and Yaoi, and Cracks is, but thank you for your review.

Thirtieth, to BadassCatNinjaXion again: Thanks for being a loyal reader. He he. Yeah. Thank you so much.

Thirty-first, to Reviewer1000: Yes, yes I will.

Thirty-second, to darthcat again: Thank you so much for reviewing again. I love Pitch too, and I'm sure Fanty will love your for reading her story.

Thirty-third, to Guest (I'm not sure if you're the same guest from number Twenty-four but thank you.) Yes, I realize it's not that lovey-dovey, but I had to have Pitch exaggerate a bit. Okay, quite a bit. I love your review. Thank you.

Thirty-fourth, to FrostyJam: It's so much more than a two-shot now. Hope you read more! Thank you!

Thirty-fifth, to the element girl: Never heard of Quotev, but I'm guessing it's like a site that centers around quotes from movies and books. I'm probably wrong, though.

Thirty-sixth, to Fanty, (the second greatest person I have ever met virally): OK, first all, I'm so glad that you love my story so far. I love yours, and I tried to make Pitch like your story in the last chapter. Hope you read the last two chapters and will review again soon!

Thirty-seventh, to Spark, (one of my favorite authoresses): Spark, you are an angel. I really love you for all the hard work you've gone through to write Cursed Luck. Thank you.

Thirty-eighth, to Sorida again: Well, I dunno... for the things Pitch did, Jack might. Even if only for a minute. Oh gods, I killed ANOTHER one! MOM prepare a new plot! (By plot, I mean plot of earth, as if GRAVE,) JK. I'm kidding. Anyway, yeah, I never actually pictured what Pitch's laptop might be, but I know it's big and black. If it's a Mac, (Hey! I rhymed!) then good on Pitch. Sorida, you inspired the insanity to come. I hope you're satisfied.

Thirty-nineth, to St0p: Good for you. You ride that Fredrick, girl or guy!

Fortieth to Starskulls, (the greatest authoress in the world!): Well, I hope you like this chapter.

Also, I'd like to thank I'll get to it. eventually, vividRegulator, dragoscilvio, SaprklyingGem and The-Silver-Butterfly150 for their contributions to these next chapters. They are the great people who allowed me to borrow their amazing stories to make the rest of you wet your pants. Please read their stories and review and favorite. They deserve it.

I am also going to warn you, this chapter was so long when I finished that I decided to cut it into several chapters. This is the first. The others will follow after a few hours.

And on that exceedingly happy and long-winded note, I'm now gonna start this chapter. ENJOY!


It took an hour at least to gather the Guardians again. Sandy was in South America at the time.

He was hovering on his dream-sand cloud far above the huts of a village in Brazil, sending down sweet dream after sweet dream to a household of eleven. One dream about being a wild hunter, one about being a soccer star, a few about riding different animals in races, and one which featured the dreamer in a dancing contest. Not a single nightmare or bad dream to be seen.

As Sandy sent down one last strand of dream-sand and turned to head off to the east, where his cloud castle was floating high above the tree tops, he noticed a glowing shimmer appear over the horizon.

At first, Sandy thought it was the sun, climbing over the tops of the trees. Then he realized that it was seven and a half hours until sunrise. He peered at the glow. It was bright, and colored! An Aurora Borealis. The signal for a meeting of the Guardians.

Sandy rolled his eyes. This was the second meeting called in the two days! The first one had been undoubtedly amusing and had allowed them to let off some steam, but they all had jobs to do! Bunny had to paint his eggs, North had to build his toys, Tooth had to collect her teeth, Jack had to spread his snowy fun and he still had about three continents and a dozen more cities to visit! What was so important that North had to call another meeting?!

Sandy sighed, then he raised his golden hands and the dream sand cloud slowly transformed into his favorite dream sand plane. He pulled on his aviator's glasses, clipped on his seat belt, gunned the throttle and headed north. North had better have a good excuse for this latest meeting.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tooth was in her palace. Big surprise.

"Two lateral incisors. Munich. 4113 Aero drive. A canine and central incisor. Hong Kong. Ji Hai street, number 532." She said with the speed of a auctioneer. Two fairies flying by nodded and sped off towards the coin area. Tooth watched them go and sighed contentedly. She saw a picture of another new tooth under a pillow of a eight-year-old girl with red hair and freckles. The girl was breathing slowly and a small smile was creeping across her face. A golden sand image was floating above her head and Tooth's smile widened when she saw that the image was one of the girl and a kitten, rolling around in a huge meadow full of flowers. Oh, how she loved her job.

The image disappeared in her mind's eye and she said automatically, "Premolar. Corner of twenty-third and Greene." A fairy buzzed up to her elbow, squeaked, nodded and buzzed off.

Tooth smiled again and headed to the Tooth Towers to make sure everything was going well. Each tower represented a continent, and there were several thousand sections that divided the tooth containers and kept them organized. It had taken her fairies at least half a year to get every tooth container back in it's proper place, following Pitch's short-lived take-over. The other Guardians had tried to help but they couldn't get their heads around the sorting system, so Tooth had told them it was alright and that she could do it by herself.

As she flew past the the Asia tower, she noticed Baby Tooth squeaking to a group of fairies by the eastern wall. Tooth frowned. Baby Tooth seemed agitated and worried about something.

When she saw her mother, Baby Tooth let out a loud squeak and zoomed over to her, chittering and pointing up to the palace entrance.

"Baby Tooth, Baby Tooth, slow down! What's wrong?" Tooth asked the little fairy-girl. Baby Tooth squeaked and flew upwards, towards the ceiling. Tooth followed the miniature fairy with her eyes and when she saw what Baby Tooth was so irritated about, she groaned.

"Oh no. Not another one!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Jack was just finishing up in Vancouver, Canada when he saw the lights. He was flying through the bitter-cold air- not that it bothered him -surfing on his staff.

"YEAH!" He yelled happily, going into a steep dive. He was nearly fifteen he thousand feet up and he descended at a rate of thirty feet a second. About a hundred feet from the ground, he pulled up sharply and zoomed down a deserted street.

Jack loved speeding. He loved the wind whipping past his face and the thrill of pulling out of a deep dive. It was amazing.

Jack flew low over the street, barely managing to duck and dodge trash cans, branches and all manner of things.

A branch. "OW!"

A cat. "Meow!"

A human.

Jack didn't have time to duck or dodge and he passed right through a tall blonde woman in a thick black coat wearing four-inch stiletto heels. The heels actually had more impact than the initial passing-through, because since the heels made the woman three inches taller and since Jack was flying at about head height for him, his head passed right through the woman's chest.

"Whoa! OK, didn't mean to do that!" Jack said, pulling up short and hopping off the staff, the woman just kept on walking. Jack shuddered and turned to take off again. Then he saw something that made him freeze.

Jack moaned. "Oh gods North, NOW what?!" He muttered sullenly, taking to the air. He rose three-hundred feet up and hovered, staring at the rainbow lights that rolled across the sky. Reds, yellows, greens, blues, turquoise and at least a dozen other colors. It was beautiful. Jack had an appreciation for natural beauty, snow being the most beautiful natural occurrence on the earth. The Aurora Borealis was a close second though.

Jack took off again, holding tightly to his staff, flying towards the North Pole. It took him several hours and he got side-tracked three times by snow-storms and kids playing outside. Then he had to dodge at least two flocks of geese as they flew north in their V-pattern.

"Yikes! Hey, watch it!" He said angrily, dodging a goose that honked at him.

"HONK!"

"Honk yourself!" Jack sticking out his tongue He could be quite immature at times.

He spotted Santoff Clausen after about twenty minutes. The huge stone building dominated the white icy surroundings. He could see the brown wooden roofs, the huge glass windows and the balcony opening where the Moon shone in. Jack headed for the balcony. As he got closer, he saw several figures crowded around a table in front of the huge green and blue globe. Sandy, small and cloaked in gold, hovering above the floor; Tooth, also hovering above the ground, talking to little green glimmering creatures. Baby Teeth. North, sitting in a huge brown wooden chair and crunching on a plate of cookies. Bunny, leaning against the wall examining his boomerangs. They were talking to each other, but every so often one or two of them glanced at something in a corner.

"I wonder what they're looking at," Jack mused, cocking his head to the left. "Might at well go down there and see."

Jack flew down, down, down. The balcony was coming up fast. Jack silently told the wind to ease up. It did. Slowly and slowly the wind eased up and then, after a few minutes the wind stopped altogether. Without the wind hampering him he hurtled down towards the balcony. Jack curled his legs up towards his chest and clutched his staff in a bear-hug, the he bent his head and the slip-stream caught him and sent him whirling head over heels like a cannon-baller.

"YEEEEEEEHAWWWW!" Jack shouted, rolling through the air. The balcony came rushing up to meet him and the only thing that stopped him from breaking his neck was his lightning-fast reaction-time. He unfurled from his cannon-ball form just before he hit the stone floor and his feet landed solidly, causing the stone floor around him to ripple and a few things attached to the ceiling above to shake.

The Guardians all jumped when they heard Jack's yell. North nearly toppled over in his chair and Bunny dropped his boomerangs. Jack smiled when he landed and his smile broadened when he saw the shocked expressions on their faces.

"JACK!" They all yelled in sync. All except Sandy. He just made a golden sand image of Jack.

Jack smiled, though his feet were killing him. He spread his arms wide and said, "That's my name, don't wear it out!"

The Guardian's faces were priceless.

North's blue eyes were wide and his mouth was split in a large smile. He was still wearing his usual red shirt, tucked into thick black pants and his fairly large stomach had slimmed down a bit. He still looked like Santa Clause, but he was a trimmed Santa Clause.

Tooth's fuchsia eyes were also wide and her hummingbird wings were beating faster and faster. The rainbow feathers on her head were flexing and ruffling, like the feathers of a bird. Her tiny bird-girl daughters were twittering and laughing, flying around their mother and zooming over to him and nuzzling his ear.

Bunny's amazed expression was quickly being replaced by a look of annoyance. "Bloody showpony." he muttered.

Sandy wasn't so surprised. He still looked the same. Small, gold and happy. A cross between Buddha, Indiana Jones and Carl Marx, as Jack put it. His smile was widening slightly.

"Jack," North said, striding over and trying to shake off the amazement. "Good to see you boy!"

Jack hugged the large man, barely reaching his pale long hands around the man's torso. "Good to be seen!" He replied.

"Jack!" Tooth said, zipping over to Jack and hugging the pale winter spirit gently. "It's been too long!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "Tooth, it's been less than a day. By the way," he turned to North. "Why the fancy light-show, North? Another crisis?"

Sandy waved his hands to get Jack's attention and pointed to the thing in the corner. It was a small black computer.

Jack stared at the machine, then he looked back at the Guardians. "OK, did North's computer fail?" Then he saw a blinking light on the monitor and he looked back at North. "OK, so the computer's working. So what's the big deal?" he asked.

"Jack, we've had another E-mail." North said, gesturing to the computer. "It's another from the person named Mystichawk."

Jack blinked, then a smile crept across his face. The last E-mail Mystichawk sent had them all laughing and rolling on the floor. It was great, and probably the most steam the others had let off in ages. The other Guardians really needed to loosen up. Have a little fun once in a while. Maybe this would give them th excuse they needed to relax and stop worrying so much, particularly Tooth and North. Those two were such worry-warts.

"Really? What did she say?" he asked innocently.

North gestured to the computer again. "See for yourself. The E-mail is still on-screen."

Jack's face split into a smile, then he walked across the room and seated himself in the chair, leaning forward to read the E-mail. The other Guardians followed and stood behind him. Tooth and Sandy hovered above Jack's head height and Bunny and North stood right behind him, eading over Jack's shoulder. Jack didn't like people reading over his shoulder and he knew that the Guardians could barely see the tiny screen, so he chose to read it aloud.

"To the Guardians," he said. "My name will remain anonymous, but you can call me Mystic."

"Um, okaaaaaay." Jack said, wondering if 'Mystic' watched too many dramas on T.V.

"I have been watching you, Guardians. Aster, Nicholas, Toothiana, Sanderson, Jackson. But not in a bad way. I have been watching you, and I have seen your defeat of Pitch Black."

Jack stopped, his eyebrows raised.

"Well? Read on!" Bunny said impatiently.

"She saw our fight?" Jack asked, turning to look at North. He was still smiling.

"Yes, I vondered about that too." North said. "Ve never saw any humans, besides the children, at the battle. So how does she know?"

Jack's smile widened. "Remember that movie about us? She probably saw the movie and tried to make it sound like she'd actually seen the real fight."

The other Guardians groaned. "Of course!" Bunny said, slapping his face with his paw. "I can't believe we-"

"I can't believe ve thought that she might've somehow seen the fight." North interrupted.

"You guys are so gullible." Jack said, snickering.

"Oh shut up." Bunny muttered.

Jack smiled and turned back to the computer.

"Make no mistake, I am angry about that. (Though he undoubtedly deserved it and he was a real prat.) Honestly. One does not throw temper tantrum and try to end the world, just because one didn't get any attention for a few hundred years. Jack didn't, did he?"

Jack frowned. "No, I didn't."

"Well, he did, but that was when you guys found him and let's face it: Jack is an immortal kid. Temper tantrums come regularly, especially when they pertain to a certain flop-eared Bunny."

Jack frowned again. "Hey!" he said indignantly.

Bunny rubbed his ears, then chuckled. "The kid tells it like it is, Jackie-boy."

Jack was about to snap out a sharp retort but Sandy held up a golden sand-ball threateningly and pointed to the two of them, then to the ball.

His message was clear. Cut it out, the both of you! Or everyone goes sleepy-bye.

"OK, my bad. Got it Sandy. You can put that away." Bunny said nervously, taking a step away from the tiny man. What was it about diminutive people that made them so powerful?

Jack smiled and went back to the E-mail.

"Jokes aside, Pitch was one of my favorite characters. I say WAS, because now he certainly is not. Now that I've met him face to screen, I can say with absolute accuracy that he is a self-absorbed, narcissistic, greasy-haired, not-EVEN-scary jerk.

Jack was laughing now. His laughter was loud and bright, like the sound of tinkling crystal. "She-" he said, trying to speak through his laughter. "She is so right!"

"Will you shut up?!" Tooth said sharply. "I can barely read this, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't leave us hanging!"

Jack's laughter rapidly subsided and he shrunk low in his seat. An annoyed Tooth wasn't something you wanted to be in the same room with and he resumed the story in a quieter voice.

Bunny and North snickered.

"Pitch honestly was one of my favorite characters, (if only because of his hair,) but he sure isn't now. No, that spot now belongs to a small golden sandbag with a big smile and really nice hair.

Sandy's eyes widened as Jack read and when he paused Sandy did a little dance in mid-air, fist-pumping and bobbing his golden head back and forth. It looked like an Irish disco-jig.

"OK Mr. Chubby sandbag." Tooth said, punching Sandy's shoulder when he stopped dancing. Her fist went right through Sandy's shoulder and she pulled it out immediately. "Oops. Sorry Sandy."

Sandy brushed off the hole in his shoulder and golden said immediately covered it. In a second it looked like there had never been a hole. He lifted his hand and raised his thumb.

It's all good.

"Ahem." Jack said, resuming. "Anyway. . . I have been watching and I have decided to make you an offer. An offer which I'm sure Bunnymund Jack and Tooth will accept instantly.

Tooth turned back to the screen. "An offer?" she asked. "What kind of offer?

Jack shrugged.

"I might accept, but it depends on what kind of offer it is," Bunny said.

Jack nodded. "I agree with the rabbit." Then he frowned, thinking, Why does she think that only me and Tooth and Bunny will accept? I wonder what she has in mind.

"I've seen the stories posted on the Internet." He resumed again. "I've seen the stories and the comics drawn about you guys, and I've seen the videos on Youtube about you guys. No doubt Bunny's read quite a few too. And in all those stories I've seen people portray Pitch almost always exactly how he is: a selfish, egotistical, moronic stooge with a tendency to cross-dress.

Jack let out a loud laugh and the others smirked.

"'A tendency to cross-dress?'" Jack repeated, raising his eyebrows. "Oh. I suppose she means the robe."

"I think 'moronic stooge' is the best description of Pitch Black I've ever heard." Bunny said, laughing.

Sandy nodded, making a small image of a pair of Pitchs that ran at each other and knocked their heads together.

"Heh. Yeah," Jack said, glancing back and seeing the picture. "Pitch could be one of the stooges."

The others laughed.

"Despite this, he is a person, and as a person he should be bad-mouthed as anyone should be bad-mouthed. To their face."

Jack nodded, folding his arms. "Touché" he said.

Tooth couldn't help herself. Jack's commentary and the other male Guardians were annoying her too much and she read the last bits of the E-mail before Jack could begin again.

"And so my offer to you is this: I will provide you with material about Pitch, and in return you get payback for all the pain and annoyance he's put you through.
Take a minute to think it over. I was an answer soon, though. And by soon, I mean in three hours or less. Goodbye."

Jack blinked, re-reading the last four sentences. "In three hours or less," he repeated. Then he turned to North and the others. "How long ago-"

"Two and a half hours." North replied before the winter spirit could finish. "I immediately called the others, but it took time. I'm still not completely sure what this girl means, but I knew that I could not answer without a consent from the rest of you."

Jack nodded appreciatively. "I think that was smart." He said. "As for the offer, I have no idea what she means."

North was stroking his heard gently, staring at the screen. "I am not sure either. I don't know vat she means by 'pain he's put us through'. Annoyance, yes. But pain? Pitch had never physically hurt us, except for Sandy."

Sandy reached behind him and felt his back. He could feel a slight throbbing between his shoulder-blades where the arrow Pitch had shot landed. It didn't hurt, but it reminded him of the Nightmare War. The feeling of incredible fear he had felt when the black sand had consumed him.

Tooth raised her head. "I think that's what she means. The pain Sandy felt, the pain I felt when Pitch stole my fairies and the teeth. The pain Bunny felt when Pitch smashed his eggs. I think that's what she means."

Bunny was nodding slowly. "Yeah, yeah and she's giving us the chance to get some of our own back!" he said excitedly. "That's what she meant when she said that Tooth and Jack and me would take her up on her offer. I don't know about you two," he said to Jack and Tooth. "But if there's a way this kid can give us a way to get back at Pitch for the Nightmare War, I'm taking it!"

Tooth nodded. "I agree. Pitch should pay for what he's done to my fairies and me."

Jack smiled. "I thought you punched his tooth out for your fairies." He teased.

"I did." She said. "I'm not talking physical pain. We Guardians don't do that." Tooth smiled evilly. "I'm talking humiliation."

Jack's eyes widened. "Tooth, are you suggesting we use this as an opportunity to make fun of the Boogeyman?"

Tooth's evil smile widened and Jack could see a mischievous glint in her eye. A glint that he'd seen in the eyes of many children just before they'd instigated a huge snowball fight.

"No." she said slowly. "I'm suggesting that we simply use this offer as an opportunity to balance the scales. What goes around comes around, as they say."

Jack's smile grew to match Tooth's. "I agree." Then he turned to Bunny.

"I'm in," Bunny said immediately. "If it gives me a chance to make fun of that wanker, I'll do it!"

Sandy was a little uncomfortable with the conversation. He didn't like the whole 'revenge' deal. Revenge instilled anger and hate, and that wasn't what the Guardians dealt in. Still, it might be fun to have a few jokes at the Boogeyman's expense. He smiled, then stuck out his thumb.

I guess I'm in.

North knew that his input wasn't going to do much good. The other three were already excited about whatever they were going to do to Pitch. What happened from here-on out all depended on the girl. Mystichawk said that she was going to give them material about Pitch, and he knew that it had something to do with the site she'd already shown them. He smiled.

"Well, I guess it would not hurt to have a friendly battle with Pitch over the internet." he said hesitantly. "But nothing distasteful." He warned.

Jack Tooth and Bunny shook their heads. "Nothing distasteful." Jack promised.

"Got it." Bunny said, saluting.

"Crystal clear." Tooth said, giving North the thumbs up.

North and Sandy shared a look and Sandy nodded. Fine.

"Alright then." North said. "Jack, can you send a-"

He was interrupted by a small beeping noise from the computer. The Guardians glanced back at it and Jack saw that there was a new message for North.

"Hey North, you've got another one." He said, clicking on the message. It wasn't from Mystichawk. The E-mail address said EvilKingofDarkness27.

"Now I wonder who that is," Jack muttered. He opened the E-mail and scrolled down to read the thick script. Yep. It was from Pitch.

"Dear Guardians," it said. "I would like to thank you for the delightful story you read to me a few hours ago. It was a delightful and incredibly well-written diversion from my usual boring evening and as such, I would like to return the favor."

"That does not sound good," Jack muttered.

"I've compiled a group of well-written and incredibly amusing stories that feature you five, because you've been so kind to send me a story about myself. The first is a fascinating specimen about Jack. Do enjoy! Sincerely, Pitch Black."

Jack didn't want to scroll down. He really didn't. What horrible story had Pitch found?

"Well? Scroll!" Bunny said, poking the boy in the back. "I wanna see what Pitch is talking about."

Jack grumbled. "Why do we have to read the one about me first?" he asked.

"Because it's the first." Bunny said. "Now scroll." he couldn't wait to read the story about Jack. Little did he know that it wouldn't just be about Jack.

Jack scrolled and read the title. "'Ghost-stories and Other tales,'" he read aloud. "By Drag, drago- I can't pronounce that!" he said, pointing to the long complicated name.

"Dra. . .go. . .scil . . vi. . .o." Bunny pronounced slowly. "What kind of a username is that?"

Jack shrugged. "Their name, I guess."

"Read!" Tooth ordered, poking Jack.

Jack read. "Chapter eight. Baby Ja-" He stopped. "Oh no." his eyes were wide. The chapter title alone scared him. Just what kind of story was this?

"Baby Jack?" Bunny read, scanning the E-mail. "Oh boy. I'm reading this!" he said happily, pushing Jack off the chair. Jack landed on his rear, but he jumped up alost immediately so that he wouldn't miss any of the story.

Oh moon, he thought. Please don't be about me as a human! Please don't be about me as a human!

"'Oh this is going to be fun."

This was the first time that Jack said this phrase and actually felt sarcastic towards it. Normally he faced life head on, with no fear of what may come, but this situation was different.

Jack didn't like the desert, not during the day at least, and he certainly never wanted to spend time there, especially not for a battle; but here he was fighting in the sand dunes of Arizona, trying his best not to melt. Who were they battling? Not Pitch, and that fact alone made Jack frustrated. Dragging his butt out there for Pitch would have been understandable, but this particular problem was not high on his priority list, and his name was Chikashi.'"

Bunny paused. "I heard of Chikashi. Wimpy little guy, wasn't he?"

North nodded. "Yes. Moved to Arazona in the nineteen twenties."

Tooth made shushing sound at North and gestured for Bunny to continue.

"'Now Chikashi was the Native American Indian spirit of the Trickster, and for the past few months this idiot had been making mirages out of sandstorms, and leading people into them just to watch them stumble around lost. Chikashi thought it hilarious, but the guardians did not, especially when most of those who died were children. So here they were, fighting Chikashi, trying to convince him that his mirages were a really bad joke.

"Look dude," Jack panted as he wiped sweat from his face with the sleeve of his hoodie. "I can appreciate a good joke. I mean, I AM the guardian of FUN, but this is getting really out of hand!"

"What do you know!" Chikashi taunted. "You've only been around for three hundred years, while I've been around for much longer than that!"

"Listen to the boy, mate" Bunny said as he casually twirled his boomerang expertly. "Normally I don't agree with the blighter, but in this case I hate to say he's right. Besides, if you decide not to you will have to deal with me. And that, mate. . . is not something that you want."

"Indeed!" North cut in brandishing his swords to emphasize his words "You do not wish to mess with us, Chikashi. That would be bad idea."

Chikashi made a show of thinking things over and then let a grin split his face "Actually you're wrong, I DO want to mess with you, and I know just how to do it."

Turning around, the trickster gave an evil grin towards Jack. "You think you're so superior now that you're a guardian." Chikashi snarled. "But I'm going to play my best trick yet, and you get to be the lucky person who enjoys all the fun!"

Before Jack could react, the trickster dove towards the winter spirit, and grabbed him by the throat. The guardians stood and watched with horror filled eyes as a bright light enveloped the two of them, before finally Chikashi stepped away leaving Jack crumpled on the ground gasping as he labored to bring air back into his lungs. The trickster began to walk away, dusting his hands off with a self satisfied smirk.'"

"What did he do?!" Tooth nearly squeaked.

"'What did you do?" Toothiana cried, her angry lavender eyes laced with worry.

"To Jack?" Chikashi asked innocently. "Oh nothing, except a little spell I conjured up especially for him."

"What kind of spell?" North growled.

"You see, every spirit knows about the legendary rivalry between the Easter Bunny and Jack Frost," the trickster divulged. "I mean, it isn't a secret that they can't stand each other. So, in light of that information, I made a spell that will turn Jack into his worst nightmare."

As if on cue, Jack began to scream, his body curling up into a ball as his arms wrapped themselves around his middle. Sandman rushed over to the boy, his eyes wide with panic. The boy bucked and thrashed, his back arched from the sheer agony coursing through him. Chikashi merely smiled then, wiggling his fingers in a mocking goodbye wave, he disappeared in thin air.

Everyone groaned at him getting away, but another anguished scream from their comrade brought them back to the crisis at hand. When they looked over to where he lay, they noticed something was wrong. Jack had gotten…smaller.

Bunnymund hopped over, his nose twitching with apprehension, but when he reached the spot where the sprite had collapsed, he only found a wad of clothing. Reaching into the hoodie, the Pooka's eyes grew wide at what he found.

"Ohhh crikey.'"

"'What?" Toothiana yelled. "What is it?!'"

"What?" Tooth squeaked again. "What is it?"

Bunny turned to look at her. "You really like doing that, don't ya sheila?"

Tooth punched him on the arm and Bunny turned back to the computer.

"'Sandy, North, and Tooth held their breaths as Bunny turned around holding something delicately in his arms, and all felt their jaws drop when they realized what it was. Jack had been turned into a small snowy white baby Pooka.'"

The Guardian's jaws dropped.

"A POOKA?!" they all yelled, staring at the screen.

Jack's eyes were wide, Bunny's jaw was dropped comically, Tooth's eyes were bugging out of her head and North has the most ridiculous look on his face. His wide mouth screwed up in a mix between a smirk and frown and his eyes were wide with amazement and confusion. Only Sandy had remained silent. He was smiling with his hands folded over his chest.

"He turned me into a baby Pooka?!" Jack said aghast. "Oh gods, that IS my worse nightmare!"

Bunny just stared at the screen. He was reading a bit farther down. His eyes got bigger with each sentence. The others noticed.

"'Oh. . . my. . ." Tooth murmured in shock.

North bent down to look at the small bundle of fur. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Yeah" Bunny nodded "Our snowflake got turned into a Pooka, and a baby one at that. Judging by his ears not standing up on their own and his eyes still being closed, he must be less than a week old. Meaning he is going to need special care just to survive."

"I could take care of him!" Tooth volunteered.

"Nah, Sheila" Bunny smiled gently. "Not that I don't trust ya, but you're pretty busy and a baby bunny needs constant care."

"I could look after him!" North shrugged.

"What, and risk him getting stepped on by a yeti, or experimented on by an elf? No, mate." Bunny declared sternly. "I don't think the workshop is the right place for a Pooka. Babies need to stay warm, which would be difficult when you live at the North Pole."

Sand floated over and made an image with his sand of Baby Jack sleeping next to an egg, to which North nodded in exuberant agreement. "I agree Sandy, is very good idea. Then it is settled."

"Wait, what?" Bunny asked in confusion. "What's settled?"

"Jack will stay with you." North declared happily.

"WHOA! No…" the rabbit chuckled nervously. "You can't be serious?!'"

"You can't be serious. . ." Bunny said, staring at the screen. "I get stuck with taking care of a kit?! Oh great."

Tooth's face was bright and excited. "I'm reading the rest!" she declared. "Since you guys obviously don't know the meaning of the words 'silence while reading.'"

Bunny didn't argue. He gave up his seat easily and Tooth slid into it, flapping her wings to keep them free.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Father Christmas asked innocently. "Like you say, Sandy and Tooth would be too busy to give baby Pooka the care it needs, and the workshop is too dangerous. So the best person to care for a baby Pooka, is a Pooka, no?"

Bunny looked down at the bundle in his arms just in time to see him yawn and snuggle his sensitive twitching nose deep into Aster's fur. It was in that second that something melted inside the large rabbit. Rolling his eyes and giving a groan of resignation the bunny finally relented.

"Fine," he said quietly. "I'll take care of him. I'm the only person qualified to do so, so it might as well be me."

"Good!" North exclaimed happily. "Now I will go back to Pole and look for a way to cure Jack, you take him back to warren, and I will contact you if I find anything."

Sandy waved goodbye before flying off in his plane, while Tooth merely gave a wide grin at the bunny before flying off herself. Watching as North took off in his sleigh through the snow globe portal, Bunny heaved a sigh at the cards fate had dealt him.

"All right snowflake," Bunny grumbled "Let's get ya home."

Swinging his pouch over his chest, Bunny put Jack into the impromptu sling, then tapping the ground to make a hole into the tunnels, Bunny hopped towards home.

xxXxx

"Aw come on Jack!" The Pooka exclaimed. "Ya gotta eat mate!"

It had been an hour since they had arrived back at the warren, and Bunny had not wasted time taking his duties as surrogate parent to the new arrival very seriously. Seeing the blue tinge to his skin, and the way his stomach was sunken in, Aster knew that a bottle of warm milk was on the schedule. Now a Pooka is like a rabbit, except for the fact that it is much bigger. So a newborn Pooka was the size of a full grown rabbit, much like a human baby, except for the fact that it still needed the care required for a rabbit. And so this was why Aster currently found himself with a specially crafted baby bottle, holding Jack against him, trying to convince the tyke to eat his meal. Again and again, the rabbit teased the baby Pooka's mouth with the bottle, but he just would latch on!

"Look mate," Bunny said sternly. "I don't know if you can understand me, but a baby bunny's gotta eat up to five times a day, and you are gonna take your milk whether you want to or not!"

Finally after what felt like hours of coaxing, the baby took the bottle in his teeth,and drank hungrily, leaving Aster a relieved mess.

Later that night, Aster placed Jack in a makeshift crib, muttering about stupid kids and their ideas of what makes a good joke. Walking to his side of the room, the rabbit was just about to get comfortable when a soft whine began to sound from the crib. It turned into what almost sounded like a whimper mixed with a hoot, which Aster knew to be what a rabbit sounds like when it is crying. Burying his face into his paws, he lifted himself off the soft grass of his nest, and walked over back to where he had placed Jack. Looking down into the box, the bunny shook his head in what he could not help but admit was amusement at the sight.

Jack had buried his nose into the corner of the wooden box, one little paw gently scratching the wood as he called out for his parent. Finally giving up on that, he hopped to the middle of the box, and crawled under the blanket, his cries growing louder as he searched for the soothing smell and warmth of the one caring for him.

Leaning his head down into box, Bunny nudged the little lump with his nose, chuckling as the white ball of fluff burst from the blanket and latched his little paws onto Bunny's said appendage. Jack touched noses with bunny over and over again ecstatically before rubbing his head against the Pooka's larger one. Aster couldn't help but feel a ball of emotion get lodged in his throat at the happy greeting. Touching noses was the way a rabbit said hello, and it had been so long since he had touched noses with another Pooka. Granted, this one was not a born Pooka, and would eventually return back to his original state, but that did not mean that aster appreciated the act any less. Reaching into the box, Bunny couldn't help but smile at what he knew was a sure sign he was going soft, and carried the baby over to his nest.

"All right ya little ankle biter" he said tenderly "If it means you won't cry, then ya can sleep with me."

Lying down, he let loose of the white bunny, and watched it fondly as it sniffed out a good place to sleep. Finally Jack crawled between Bunny's arms, and laid his head across the muscular bicep. Aster laid his head down, nuzzling the little bunny to let him know all was well, then fell asleep with a baby curled up against him.'"

Tooth stopped. Her eyes were brimming with happy tears. "Oh my gosh, this is so cute!" she gushed. "With- you! And baby Jack! And. . ." she looked about ready to burst. "SNUGGLING!" she squealed, clasping her hands around her chest to try and stop herself from giggling. "This is great!"

Bunny and Jack were both red in the face and North was laughing.

"Oh nebo!" North said, leaning against the wall. His face was pink and he was laughing long and strong. "That is the most adorable thing I've ever read!" He said.


Nebo: Russian for heavens. Like, Oh goodness or good grief!


Bunny was so embarrassed. He thought this story was about Jack, not him! And now he was having to take care of a baby Jack-Pooka! He knew this wasn't going to end well. Bunny hid his red face in his paws, but he couldn't stop his ears from glowing pink.

Tooth saw his pink ears and she unleashed her inner fan-girliness. She clapped her hands together and beamed. "Bunny, you're a FATHER!" she cooed, bouncing up and down.

"No I'm not!" Bunny barked. To be honest, it sounded more like a yip. He moaned, wishing he could pop into one of his tunnels until this was all over. He would never live this down.

Jack's face was even brighter. His cheeks were pink and he had his fingers stuck in his pockets. Why would anyone write a story about him being turned into a baby Pooka? He mentally shrugged. Eh. Whatever the reason, he knew he, like Bunny, would probably never live this down.

Tooth began to read again and the boy and the bunny's faces got steadily redder. Tooth smiled as she read. This story was so darn cute! Jack as a baby Pooka! She would like to see that!

They were on the second chapter now.

Tooth read through several more paragraphs, her smile growing larger with each minute she read.

Jack felt like he wanted to die. Die of embarrassment; That's what he wished he could do. He was about to do it anyway, so why delay the inevitable?

Bunny felt the same. The story was probably good, by human standards, but it was embarrassing to him! He glanced over to Jack. The boy was looking down at his feet. His face was red.

Bunny sighed. "You know what?" He said, interrupting Tooth.

The others looked at him. "What?" Tooth asked.

Bunny forced himself to smile. He was sick of being embarrassed. It was the one thing he really hated and he knew that the only way to laugh this all off was to, well. . . laugh it all off.

"This is pretty good." he said, forcing himself to say the words. He didn't want to, but it was better to admit that the story was good and ease the tension that had erupted between Jack and him. More mutual embarrassment than tension, really. "I like this story."


Yup. Dat's it. don't worry, the next one is coming.