A/N: Unfortunately, it's only me (Lynn) this time around. :( I'm not happy about it, but Katie is very busy right now and unable to help at the moment. It sucks, but I'll do my best to write a good chapter without her. From now on, I'm thinking we'll go by the week, maybe? Well, anyway, that's where the title of this chapter is coming from.
Disclaimer: We, Katie and Lynn the fangirls/writers, do not own RENT. It all goes to Jonathon Larson.
Chapter 3: Week Five, First Ultrasound
"Wait, she's what?" Collins demanded of the woman on the other end of the line.
"Pregnant!" she chirped. "And you're her husband?"
"Boyfriend," he muttered in shock.
"Well, congratulations to you too!" she added. "You're going to have a baby! Anyway…"
"Wait, how can she be pregnant?" Collins asked.
"Well, sir…uhm…has she missed a few periods?" she asked.
"Yeah, she's missed a few," Collins snorted, rolling his eyes. 'A few' as in, SHE'S A GUY!
Missing his sarcasm, the woman on the other end continued, "Birth control fails sometimes – condoms break, pills stop working. It might be a shock but take a while to get used to the idea. You'll come to like it."
"Okay…and you're sure you have the right results?" Collins said.
"Unless there are two Angel Schunards who come to our clinic," she said. "Nope."
"Yeah…that is kind of doubtful," sighed Collins.
"It is an unusual name. Anyway, we'd like to plan an appointment for her sometime within the next week. We're not sure how far along she is – blood tests don't tell you that – so we want to confirm the due-date for you, and just make sure the baby's doing alright. It's too soon to tell the sex – she's not showing at all, is she?"
"No…definitely not," snorted Collins. This was all very surreal.
"And if morning sickness just started…we're figuring seven to ten weeks. We've also got a prescription for her for some prenatal vitamins. You can come pick that up anytime you want. When would you like to schedule it?"
Collins had to think back to how his schedule at NYU looked for the next month—it changed that often—and said, "Do you have anything open for the day after next?" They had to get his sorted out, and get it sorted out fast. He was calming down but was still in a state of unwavering disbelief. No way was Angel pregnant. Just no way.
"Four o'clock sound good?" the girl chirped after a pause. "If not we have a six and a nine o'clock also open."
"The nine o'clock—is that AM or PM?"
"PM," she said. "It's our last slot of the day."
"We'll take that one," Collins sighed. God knew how long Office Hours would hold him over at NYU sometimes.
"Okay! Monday at nine o'clock!" she said.
After he hung up, he took a deep breath and started towards the bedroom.
When he reached the bedroom, Angel was still asleep, on her side. Collins took a sigh of relief that his efforts to let Angel sleep had succeeded, and decided he didn't want to wake her just now. But he knew he'd have to wake her in about an hour anyway—you weren't supposed to let patients, especially sick ones, whom had just had their blood taken sleep for very long. He'd wake her in about forty-five minutes, at five o'clock, and tell her then. Maybe that would give him time to compose himself and mull this over.
Both efforts proved futile, as he was maybe even more worked up by the time the top of the hour rolled around than he'd started. Angel began to stir by herself, and Collins hoped she wasn't awakening from the need to be sick again. But she just opened her eyes slightly and croaked, "Hey you."
"Hi," he whispered.
"How long have I been out?" she murmured, staring out the window. It couldn't have been very long; the sun was still up. But as this was August in New York, that could mean any time from about nine AM to nine PM.
"Only about an hour," murmured Collins, sliding down so he could hold her at less odd of an angle. "Uh…you hungry at all?"
Angel seemed to mull it over for several seconds before she finally murmured, "Mmno. Not right now."
"Still a bit nauseous?" asked Collins, rubbing his hand gently over her stomach. To think there could be something alive in there. A fetus. A baby. Their baby.
"Tiny bit," Angel replied, and moved her hand at an angle so she could run it through his thick, coarse hair. "Not nearly as much as I was earlier though. Maybe you're right—maybe it was just food poisoning or something."
"I told you," Collins replied, though knowing it wasn't.
Angel rose an eyebrow. "As I recall, you were the panicking one, telling me to go to the doctor this morning. How did our positions in this whole argument change?"
"When you were refusing to go to the doctor, I had this irrational fear that you were hiding something from me," Collins explained, mostly sighing his sentences. "But when you agreed, my mind decided that you couldn't possibly be hiding anything. So the fear part just kinda…dissolved."
Angel giggled slightly and cuddled against him. "The doctor call?"
"Yeah, about that," sighed Collins, pulling her closer to him. "Uhm…they think…they think you're pregnant."
Angel shot up and stared at him. "They think I'm what?"
"Pregnant."
Angel threw her head back and cackled, pounding his chest slightly in her hysteria. It wasn't overwhelmingly funny, but just so ridicules it was hilarious. She wiped her eyes, taking mascara and eye shadow with her tears of laughter, and said, "Oh, that's funny, baby! I really needed to laugh."
"I'm serious," Collins said.
Angel stared at him, her eyes darting all over his face. "You're not joking?"
"No," Collins said. "But…but I'm convinced they got it wrong."
"Oh my God," Angel said, staring down at her stomach. "What if they don't? How many Angel Dumott-Schunards can there possibly be in the world? Collins…we can't have a baby!"
"Angel, Angel, calm down," Tom said. "I'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding."
"Baby, I don't think it is," Angel whispered, shaking her head slightly. "I've been gaining weight; about three pounds in the past month. It's not a lot, and I wasn't really worrying because I've been eating a lot of the fatty stuff Mimi has to…but now I think about it, I've been exercising just as much. And I've been really hungry. When I'm not nauseous…I'm starving!"
Collins' eyes widened. Those were the exact symptoms that had brought their attention to Mimi's pregnancy. His hand squirmed under her top, laying a hand on her bare stomach. "Oh my God…we might actually be having a baby."
"But how…how is it possible?" Angel whispered. "And what are we gonna do? We don't have any money, and we don't have Roger's mom and dad to help us like he and Mimi do."
"We've got my parents," Collins pointed out. Were they really talking about this? "And they're not bad off. And we're pretty close."
Angel sighed and a few tears leaked out of her eyes. "We need to go to the doctor. Find out how this is possible. I just can't believe this."
"I already made an appointment," Collins said, rubbing the area around her navel to comfort. "We'll get answers, baby."
Angel looked down and lifted her shirt up, staring at her flat stomach. She whispered, "Anyone in there?"
"This is gonna sound really weird," said Collins. "But…I kind of hope there is."
"Me too," whispered Angel, putting her hand over Collins'. A baby. One that was completely their own; a physical manifestation of their love, and such a miracle besides. It was almost overwhelming.
"Angel Schunard?"
The waiting room, this time around, was very empty. This was the last appointment and the only other person in there was a very scraggly-looking man. The clinic was known for letting homeless people stay the night, and maybe this man was just one of those people. All the same, Angel and Collins were mostly alone.
When they heard Angel's name called, they stood up and followed the nurse into Doctor O'Neil's room. Here Angel lifted herself onto the table and Collins stood beside her, her hand in his. They both stared at the door.
When Doctor O'Neil entered, he tilted his head to the side in confusion. Angel was not in drag today. She hadn't been feeling well that morning, and it would be a lot easier to explain to the doctor why they were shocked at the diagnosis of pregnancy if Angel did not look like a girl this time around. Doctor O'Neil said, "Uhm…Angel?"
"Yup," Angel replied, meeting his eyes evenly.
Doctor O'Neil stared down at the clip board and said, "You were here earlier this week…they said your blood tests came back that you were pregnant." He stared between Angel and the clipboard, obviously thinking a mistake had been made. That, or he was seeing things.
"About that," sighed Angel, crossing her arms. "Would you mind gracing us with an explanation of how this is possible?" The more she'd mulled over it the last few days, the more she'd gotten upset that she'd been told she was pregnant with no explanation whatsoever.
"We didn't realize you were a man," said Doctor O'Neil. "Sometimes men will have an elevated level of estragon for whatever reason and will test positive for pregnancy. Is anyone close to you pregnant?"
"Yes," Angel said. "But I know I'm not going through that whole sympathetic pregnancy thing. She's almost nine months and I haven't been showing any symptoms until now, Doctor. Now I'm gaining weight, I'm vomiting in the morning—all hours of the day, for that matter—and I'm getting dizzy. And I'm eating twice as much as I normally do when I'm not feeling nauseous."
Doctor O'Neil sighed and thought for a moment before saying, "Well…okay. I've heard of something like this. It's very rare…but it has happened. There's a doctor, at NYU teaching hospital…She's been studying this for a few years. It's a complication from the AIDS vaccine, I believe. Did you have AIDS?"
"Yes," Angel replied. "We both did. And with all due respect, Doctor… No one told us there were risks like this associated with the vaccine."
"It was an unforeseen side effect," said Doctor O'Neil. "But, uhm…I can get you an appointment with her. Her name is Doctor Clark and she's an immunologist."
Angel nodded slowly. "And how much of this would the insurance Collins has through his job pay for? This all sounds really experimental and theoretical to me."
"It'll be the same as any maternity care, I'm sure," said Doctor O'Neil. "But that's honestly something to look into on your own."
Angel sighed and nodded. Collins said, "How would we go about…getting an appointment with this Doctor Clark?"
"I can make you an appointment with her," said Doctor O'Neil. "Like I said, she works out of the NYU teaching hospital's immunology department. She doesn't usually see patients, as she's more a scientist than an actual doctor, but she does make exceptions and I'm sure you'll be considered as an exception."
"Do you know her?" asked Angel.
"Well," said Doctor O'Neil. "She's the wife of my sister-in-law's husband's brother."
It took a second for Angel to comprehend the long family relation, before she nodded slightly. "Okay."
"I'll make an appointment for you," he said. As there was a phone in every exam room (most for paging nurses and other doctors, but they could make outside calls too) he simply walked over to the one hanging on the far wall and picked it up, dialing the office number.
There were three rings, then she picked up and answered with her name and title. He said, "Hi Lisa, it's Dan. I've got an interesting case here."
After several seconds of explaining to Doctor Clark their case, Doctor O'Neil's conversation ended rather abruptly with an, "Oh really? Well, that's great. I'll tell them…Okay. Bye."
He hung up and turned back to them. "Doctor Clark has decided to come directly here and examine you right away, Angel. She'll be here in about twenty minutes, so you can either stay here in this room, or go back out to the waiting room.
"We'll wait here," Collins said after a moment. He didn't feel like going back out to the deserted waiting room to stare at the dark fish tank and the four blank walls.
Doctor O'Neil nodded and made his exit, leaving the young couple alone in the exam room. Collins sat at the head of the table, and Angel laid down on the pad to put her head in his lap. Her hand was on her stomach once more, staring ahead with wonder. Collins caressed the hair next to her ear and quietly asked what she was thinking about.
"It's just amazing," whispered Angel. "That…we're having a baby."
Though it wasn't certain yet (And Collins had the suspicion Angel would be absoloutly heart-broken if it proved a false alarm.) Collins had to concur. "Yeah. It's just…Wow."
"Wow," Angel agreed softly.
Twenty-five minutes passed in relative silence, then Doctor O'Neil reentered with an unfamiliar blonde doctor on his heals. She was short with her hair in a cut which reached hear ears and followed her jaw line back. Her eyes were ice blue and seemed to pierce them in an intellectual fashion from behind glasses.
Her voice was high and girlish, completely contradictory to her appearance. She may have had the slightest accent—German or Swedish—but it was fleeting. "Hello, I'm Doctor Lisa Clark. I'm not one to make assumptions, so which one of you thinks you're pregnant?"
Collins pointed downwards to Angel who hadn't gotten a chance to get up yet (The aforementioned events had taken place in only a matter of seconds) and Angel poked herself in the chest with her drive to make the point known. Doctor Clark, far from being amused at their antics, simply nodded and dismissed Doctor O'Neil with a nod.
A nurse stepped in behind them and wheeled in what Angel could only assume was an ultra sound machine (from the prehistoric era, Angel's mind had to add) then walked back out again. Doctor Clark pulled the black swivel stool which sat under the desk at the far side of the room, and sat in front of Angel.
"I'm going to ask you a few questions," she mumbled, writing something on a piece of lined paper. She also pulled a tape recorder out of her coat pocket and said, "Do you mind? This, what is happening to you, is a subject of much research in the immunology field."
Angel gestured for her to go ahead.
Doctor Clark turned it on and said, "August thirteenth, 1993. Nine-thirty PM. Patient is Angel Dumott Schunard," she glanced at Angel, making sure she was pronouncing this right. Angel nodded and she continued, "Whom is the most recent in several cases of male pregnancy I have encountered in the state of New York. This is the first appointment. Today we will confirm the pregnancy, as well as identify how far along the pregnancy is and, if possible, the sex of the child." The longer she talked, the more her accent came out and her S endings began to sound more like Z's.
She left the recorder to sit on the desk and wheeled herself back over to where Angel was. She turned on the machine and it began to hum rather malevolently. She said, "You are twenty-four years old, correct?"
"Not quite," Angel said. "I'll be turning twenty-four in December."
She nodded and scribbled on her note pad again. She looked to Angel and said, "Does your bladder feel full at all?"
Thinking this was an odd question, Angel had to consider for a moment before shrugging and saying, "Yeah, kind of now that you mention it."
"Good," replied Doctor Clark, "that means we won't have to wait. Unzip your pants, please."
"Should I get up?" Collins, whom was still sitting with her head in his lap, asked.
"It doesn't matter," she replied. Then, to Angel, "Unzip your jeans and pull them below your abdomen."
Angel followed the directions, lifting herself slightly so she could get her jeans down far enough. A light blush painted her cheeks, but Collins squeezed her hand and Doctor Clark didn't seem to care. Male, female—it was all the same to her. Even so, for Angel's comfort, she placed a towel over the lowest extremities of Angel's torso, covering what she didn't need to see, and squeezed from a tube some greenish gel upon Angel's lower abdomen. The muscles in Angel's stomach flinched; not because the gel was cold—because it was actually quite comfortably warm—but because it was not a substance or texture she was at all used to having against her skin in such large quantities.
"Did the nurse warm it up for you like I asked?" inquired Doctor Clark absently as she placed the paddle against Angel's stomach and began moving it around, searching for a fetus.
Angel nodded and held her breath as the doctor searched for the image on the screen she needed to see. After a few moments, she started to panic. The doctor wasn't seeing anything. That meant nothing was in there…that meant they were wrong.
But then Doctor Clark made a noise of triumph and muttered something about a sneaky little devil. She said, "There, see the circle? No, that's your bladder; I'm talking about the very small one. It's the lopsided one."
Angel had been pointing to the several strange shapes on the monitor before she finally touched the right one. Doctor Clark nodded when her fingers brushed over that one, and Angel gasped. "That's…"
"That's your baby," replied Doctor Clark. "It's so tiny, it was hiding behind your bladder. I overestimated its development; it's just an embryo. About…five weeks, I'd say. Does that sound about right?"
Angel glanced at Collins and searched his face with watery eyes, just trying to keep herself composed so she could answer the doctor's questions. "Uhm…I guess. What was five weeks ago? Fourth of July? That…That sounds about right, yeah." She talked throatily, barely able to keep herself together.
"Was that the last time you had intercourse?" inquired Doctor Clark, still scribbling.
"Oh, no," Angel said. "That's just all I can think of. There was a two-week gap after that, so…that has to be it."
Once again, the blonde woman had no comment to this. She moved the paddle around a bit more, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Finding nothing, she turned it off and told Angel to clean herself off. She wheeled over to the recorder and said, "Embryo is very healthy, about five weeks old. Much too soon to tell sex, but there will be an appointment in about two months to determine that."
Doctor Clark wheeled back over to them and said, "I have to tell you, this is a very early stage in pregnancy, and it's very odd that you start experiencing the symptoms you're experiencing right now. But that could be part of the male pregnancy aspect of it. So far, I can't detect any tendencies for these pregnancies to go slower or faster. But this part of pregnancy is very high-risk. You're entering your second month. You have to be very careful, okay?"
Angel nodded, zipping her jeans and sitting up correctly. She was still trying to pull herself together and tears were dribbling down her face.
Doctor Clark, showing emotion for the first time, gently asked, "Would you like a moment to collect yourself before I explain to you what's going on? I know this is a shock."
"Uhm…" Angel sighed, wiping her eyes. Collins squeezed her hand, sitting beside her and rubbing the small of her back. Angel finally said, "I think I'm alright. And I really want too know what's going on."
Doctor Clark nodded and walked into the hallway, calling, "Emily! Bring me my laptop, please!"
Emily, the brunette nurse whom had wheeled in the ultra sound machine, brought in a gray laptop and set in on the desk before making a hasty retreat. It seemed, to Angel at least, that this woman's reputation preceded her, and she was not to be messed with.
As Doctor Clark wheeled over to the desk and fiddled with the computer to get it working, Angel looked at Collins and whispered, "Oh my God…Collins…that was our baby. It's…it's so tiny!"
"It's only an embryo," Collins said.
Angel whispered, "I know, but…wow. It's so tiny, almost not even there. I'm scared."
She didn't have to add, "Scared to loose it", because it went without saying. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, "It's okay."
"Okay," said Doctor Clark, wheeling back towards them. She set the computer on her lap, facing them. "I've put together a diagram, just to aid in my explanation. Firstly, I need to explain that this side effect only happens to men whom posses a certain gene. It was only recently discovered thanks to our research. The gene is by no means common, however, so you're a rather special case, Angel."
Angel nodded slowly, staring at the computer and wondering when she would start with what was actually going on with her body.
"Well, anyway," said Doctor Clark, and made a few clicks on the computer. Suddenly, a diagram appeared of the male genitalia. She said, "This is, of course, what your genitalia should look like. Now, what we believe happened, is you have this gene which made you susceptible to a mutation. What we had to do to make the first stage of the HIV vaccination work, was to be able to go into the DNA of the virus and switch it around so it would stop changing, and make way for the second stage of the vaccine; the pills you took for several months. This involved us injecting the vaccine with its own DNA, thus making the vaccine almost a bacterium itself. But a human-like bacterium, in that it contained its own karyotype, which was made up of one chromosome. In a normal person, it wouldn't have been able to get into the human DNA you posses.
"Unfortunately, you have this rare gene we didn't realize existed in some people, in place of the gene with would have protected you. What it did was invade your own blood and work its way all the way down to your chromosomes. From here, it managed to change your last chromosome to XXY."
Angel blinked. "Where did the extra X come from?"
"The gene you have recognized the DNA we implanted in the vaccine to change the virus from RNA do DNA as an extra X," said Doctor Clark. "It's complicated, but basically your body thought it was becoming a whole different gender, and developing another set of sexual organs. Thus, this happened." She clicked a button on the computer and it showed a very strange configuration forming. A strange cavity morphed into existence somewhere between the anus and testicles, tubes formed and connected everywhere, and those organs already there either moved or, in the case of the prostate, got closer to the cavity.
"This looks like it would be painful," Angel said with a frown. She honestly couldn't remember any foreign pains; in her abdomen or anywhere else, for that matter.
"It does," said Doctor Clark. "But this didn't happen all in a few weeks, or even a few months. Most likely, it was triggered a few hours after you got your first dose of the vaccine and has been forming since then. It probably only stopped about two months ago, enabling you to become pregnant."
Angel nodded slowly as the diagram repeated itself over and over again. It was all rather disconcerting and she finally asked, "Is there any way to stop that thing?"
Doctor Clark pushed another button and the diagram's progress stopped. She said, "Here's what your body basically looks like now. Your rectum has split in two directions, one which leads from your intestines, as always, and another which leads to this cavity, which serves like a uterus. When you engaged in anal intercourse with your partner, his sperm traveled into this passage leading to the cavity, which serves almost like the cervix.
"Now, here's where it gets very strange," said Doctor Clark. "What happened to your sperm, is that they contracted a virus of sorts, also linked to the vaccine and this gene. When your body sensed the sperm of your partner, it reacted almost as if it was a virus. We're not entirely sure why it would do this—like I said, we've only been able to study it actively for about two years now. Anyway, it reacted like it was a virus, only instead of releasing antibodies, it released your own sperm to go meet it. And upon meeting, your sperm formed into an egg and allowed itself to be fertilized."
"That's weird," Angel agreed, her mouth falling open. She glanced back at Collins to gauge his reaction, but all she saw was a furrowing of brows.
"Hey Doc," he muttered, staring at the diagram, "What if we both contributed a Y to this kid? What would that look like?"
"We're not entirely sure, but from some testing we've been doing on lab rats…it would mean neither sexual organ forms, and they are completely infertile with no gentiles." She took a deep breath. "Which means the child would most likely die within a few hours because it wouldn't be able to expel waste from its body."
"Well then let's pray to God it's got junk," muttered Collins, and Angel slapped his shoulder with a hiss of his name. The whole rant the doctor had just spewed had disconcerted her enough; she didn't need Collins displaying his inappropriate sense of humor as well.
"Well," sighed Angel. "This is…"
"A lot to take in, I know," assured Doctor Clark. "And probably scary."
"Has anyone but me actually had this happen to them?" asked Angel.
"Two other men," said Doctor Clark. "But one was determined to terminate it, and the other miscarried only three months in."
Angel nodded and sighed. She glanced at Collins and nuzzled into his shoulder.
"I think we've gone over everything that needs to be done," said Doctor Clark. "I'd like for you to come back next month, but make an appointment with me at my office at NYU. I'll give you details on that later. I think I'd like monthly visits with you, as this is so rare you'll need special care, and your pregnancy will help with our research."
Angel nodded, not really sure if she liked the idea of being a test subject, but realizing she had pretty much no choice; especially if she wanted a doctor who knew anything about this. She said, "Okay."
"And here is a prescription for prenatal vitamins," she added, handing her a pre-written prescription. "Doctor O'Neil wrote this one, but I'll be your primary physician from now on."
"Thank you," Angel said, looking down.
"I'll drop that off at Walgreen's on my way to work tomorrow," sighed Collins, taking it from her.
Angel nodded and looked at Doctor Clark. "Doctor…is there anything else?"
"There was one thing…" sighed Doctor Clark. She thought for a second before she said, "Oh! I don't want you to continue taking whatever anti-nausea medication you've been taking. I know you don't like being sick, but it could be bad for you and the baby."
"Well, what happens if I can't keep anything down?" asked Angel. "That's just as bad, if not worse for the baby."
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," replied Doctor Clark. "Now, go home and rest. Take care of him." She looked at Collins now. "He's going through something rough."
"I know," Collins replied, hugging Angel to him.
Doctor Clark nodded, appearing to be satisfied, then walked out.
The couple rode the subway home, Collins holding Angel the whole time. When they got to their apartment, Angel took off her jacket and dropped it on the couch before walking to the bedroom and laying down on the bed. Collins joined her side, lifting up her shirt once more to stare at her stomach. "So wow. There's a little…tiny…living thing in there."
"Living," Angel whispered in agreement, covering his hand. She looked up at him and whispered, "Tom, I'm so scared. But…I love you. You know that. And I already love our baby, even if it is about the size of a peanut right now."
Collins smiled and leaned down to kiss her. Angel sighed. She looked so young right now; so scared and yet so happy. To Collins, she seemed all of seventeen, not twenty-three. He scooted down to rest his head against her stomach, kissing it. "Damn, some weird stuff led up to this, though. Such freak events, huh?"
"Yeah," sighed Angel. "But…Like I said, I kind of like the idea. It's a piece of me, and a piece of you…in a person. In a baby that we get to raise and watch grow up. I'm excited." Excited in a long-term way she'd never experienced before. Excited for the rest of her life; how it would change with the birth of this baby, with the pregnancy. She couldn't wait.
Collins put his ear against Angel's stomach as if he could hear the tinier-and-a-quarter baby, but all he heard was the rumbling of Angel's stomach, and laughed. "You haven't eaten since this morning, babe. I'm gonna make you something to eat."
"I'm tired," Angel mumbled.
Collins sighed in defeat and stood up, picking her up to tuck her under the covers. Angel giggled and kissed his cheek. "You can wake me up later if you think I've gotta eat something so badly."
"I'll just make you a big breakfast," Collins decided. "But you're going to eat more from now on, even if that means I have to go without."
Angel nodded and cuddled up against him. His hand found her stomach, and he put his hand on it. Angel smiled and covered his hand with hers.
Their baby. What a terrifying, fantastic, foreign thought. Their baby. How…How lovely.
End Chapter; TBC
A/N: Incase you haven't noticed, updates are not going to be a regular thing…until probably summer. And I'm going to try not to have to do this again without Katie. It really depressed me, lol! Well, this chapter will have Katie's input still, so it won't be completely without her.
-Lynn (And Katie.)
