Meant to Be: Chapter 4

Bella

Just as I was turning on the stove to start some pasta for dinner, I hear an aggressive banging on my front door. Who would be knocking so violently?

I saunter over to the door with a sense of unease, not sure what I was going to see when I opened it.

"Jasper?" I whispered.

"Bella!" he shouted.

"Shhh, the kids are playing and I don't want to startle them. What are you doing here?" I asked as he wrapped me in a massive hug.

"I was just having dinner with the Cullens when I found out you had moved back and couldn't wait any longer! It's been 5 years! What the heck, Bella? Why did you leave without even a word?" he demanded. His anger and confusion was completely warranted, I regret the decision I made every day since I've been gone.

"I don't know, Jasper, I'm really sorry, I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to get away from everything here that was reminding me of them," I tried to explain.

"You know, I tried to find a number to contact you, you sure know how to disappear!" he joked but I saw the tears running down his face that matched mine.

"That was the goal, I'm really sorry, I can't believe how big of an idiot I was to leave without even saying anything," I apologized.

"It's okay now, as long as you don't do it again!" he said.

"Never, I'm here indefinitely," I told him. "I'm so glad you found me, I didn't think you would be around this area anymore, I figured you would be on to bigger and better things."

"No, I struggled a lot after what happened with your parents and then not having you here anymore. Also, about a year later, my mom developed breast cancer and didn't make it. Dad and I were both pretty torn up so I just couldn't go too far." Jasper sniffled back the tears and I could tell that it was still a sore spot for him; I knew the feeling, you never really get over the death of a parent or loved one. "Want to meet some people who are really important to me?"

"Definitely!"

He turned me around still holding my hand and I saw that there were people standing on my lawn staring at us in varying states of confusion.

"Ali," Jasper started, "I want you to meet my best friend in the whole world Bella, we grew up together here and were inseparable until 5 years ago. Bella, this is my girlfriend Alice, we live in Port Angeles now."

"It's very nice to meet you Bella, it seems as though most of my family has already met you," Alice smiled.

"It's nice to meet you too, Alice. I've met most of them at some point over the past month," I said. I turned and looked at Jasper wondering how he found out that I was here. "How did you know I was here?"

"Esme had your sugar cookies, I would recognize their taste anywhere, still use your secret ingredient I see," Jasper joked.

"Of course, my mom taught me that secret," I laughed. "Why don't you officially introduce me to everyone?"

"Well, you know Esme and Carlisle, Emmett and this is his wife Rose, and their daughter Ashley, and Edward; Edward and Emmett are Alice's brothers," Jasper explained.

"Yes, I actually met Edward and Ashley at the grocery store yesterday and then I had to run Emily into the hospital overnight and I saw Edward again," I informed them.

"Emily! Is the munchkin awake? Is she ok? Why did she need to go to the hospital?" Jasper worried.

"She's awake, I'll go get her for you, she's fine, she had an ear infection but Edward fixed her up with some medicine and she slept most of the day."

I walked back into the house and into the living room where Emily was playing contently with her toys not having noticed that I was gone. "Hey, Em, come on outside, I want you to meet someone."

"Ou! Ok! Who is it?" she asked excitedly, she really loved meeting people.

We walked back out to the front porch and I turned back to Emily. "Em, this is Jasper, he's been my best friend since I was your age," I told her.

"I'm Emily, why don't I know you if you're Bella's best friend? I know everyone she knows," Emily rather protective of me and the twins so the tone in her voice didn't surprise me a bit.

"Well, I knew you when you were a little baby, before- uh…" Jasper stopped suddenly and looked up at me, clearly asking what to say.

"Jasper knew you for about a year when you were just a little baby, remember what I told you about Mom and Dad, well I moved away from here after and I haven't talked to him since, that's why you don't know him," I explained to her.

"Ok, but you can't be her best friend, that's me, you can be her second best friend though," Emily pouted.

Jasper burst out laughing, "I can deal with that, little one." He put his hand up for a high-five and she slapped it.

"Would you be so kind as to explain what is going on to those of us who aren't in the loop?" one of the others said. I turned to see it was Emmett talking.

"Em, don't be rude, I'm sure they'll explain it all!" Rose told in him a forceful voice.

"That's my name!" Emily put in.

"Really? Your mom calls you Em, too?" Emmett asked.

"No, my sister does, my mommy and daddy went away when I was a baby, so now my big sister takes care of me and my ne-neph- What are they Bella?" she turned to look at me.

"Your nephews," I explained.

"Yeah! My nephews, and me and Bella all live together, she takes good care of me, we bake cookies and read stories and go to the grocery store! Ashley! I didn't see you, want to come play in my room? Can she, B?" Emily was a little chatterbox, I loved it.

"If she wants to, why don't you go ask nicely?" I prompted.

A minute later two little girls were running into the house up the stairs to Emily's room to play.

"Nephews?" Jasper questioned.

"Long story, how about you guys come in and I'll explain everything," I suggested as I started walking back into the house. "Shoot!" I bolted to the kitchen to find that the pasta is all burnt and wouldn't be any good anymore.

"Hmmm, I've never seen you burn anything," Jasper teased.

"Shut up," I poked my tongue out at him. "Seeing your best friend for the first time in 5 years kind of makes you forget anything else."

"Fair enough."

I turned to see everyone all staring into the kitchen, "You guys all make yourselves comfortable in the living room. I'll be right out."

I walked into the living room with a glass of water for everyone and some cookies on a plate.

"Edward, have a seat, I'm going to grab a kitchen chair for myself, I never expected to have so many people in my living room all at once," I told him as I noticed that he was standing leaning against the wall.

"I'll go grab it, you take the comfortable chair, it's your house," he smiled slightly at me but I noticed it wasn't his heartbreaking smile that I had seen before.

"Thank you," I said as he came back.

"Bella, before you start, I just want to say I'm sorry for assuming that she was your daughter, I hope it didn't upset her too much," Emmett declared sheepishly.

"Oh, hey, don't even worry about it, we get that all the time and kids are resilient, she doesn't even remember much about them so she's always proud to tell people that her sister takes care of her."

"Bella, I'm sorry that we just barged in like this, I hope we're not causing you too much of an inconvenience," Esme smiled gently.

"Oh gosh, no, you all apologize so much, it's really not necessary, this is how Jasper and I were raised, people just kind of drop by to visit and I love it, I'm glad to be back in a place where it stills happens," I reassured her.

"So, tell me about my nephews," Jasper perked up.

I laughed and suggested, "Why don't we start from the beginning so that everyone is caught up?"

"Alright, well, Bella and I grew up here in Forks together; our parents weren't really friends until we started hanging out together. We were attached at the hip basically, she made sure that none of the girls on the playground tried to kiss me, and I made sure the boys didn't pull on her braids," Jasper started.

"I was an only child until I was 16 then my parents told me they were pregnant again, I asked for a sibling for years when I was younger and nothing, but when I'm finally about to go away to college they have another baby. Anyways, I was shocked but happy, and Jasper was there the whole time, after Emily was born we babysat together when my parents needed a bit of a break," I paused.

"Did you guys date in high school?" Edward asked. I think I detect a little bit of jealousy, it's really cute.

"Gosh no! We could never! Jasper is like my brother! That's just a gross thought. No, we were each other's sounding board in regards to our dates before they met our parents. My dad was a cop here in Forks and my mom was a kindergarten teacher. They were pretty protective of me, so I didn't get too many dates throughout high school but the girls certainly loved Jasper," I joked.

"Oh, please, I told you that I threatened all the creepy guys that wanted you, that's why you didn't have too many dates, your parents had nothing to do with it but your father sure didn't complain when I told him. You don't know what teenage boys think, my dear," Jasper insisted. I gave him a look that said And you're one to talk?

"So Emily was born a month before my 17th birthday and it was great, I mean the crying all night was difficult to get used to but I loved her so I put up with it. I left to go to Berkeley in California after our senior year. Jasper, as I'm sure you know, went to the University of Washington, we kept in contact and I really enjoyed my first term. When I came home to visit for Christmas my first year, my parents asked me to babysit on New Year's Eve because I didn't have any places to go out. From there the story is pretty typical, they were hit by a drunk driver on their way home. This town hadn't seen drunk driving in I don't know how many years until that night. I got a call at about 3 am to come to the hospital.

"When I got there they told me that Dad had died on impact, my mom was in a coma for a couple days when she finally woke up. She was devastated to find out about Dad. They had to take her into surgery because I guess something was wrong with the way her liver was functioning after the accident. She didn't make it through surgery; she bled out on the table." I stopped to try and keep the tears from falling. I've told this horrible story multiple times but it still gets me every time. The pain doesn't ever really go away, you just hope that time will make you feel better.

Esme came over and sat with me in the oversized arm chair I was in. She hugged me to her chest and let me cry for a few minutes while she rubbed my back and comforted me.

"Sorry about that, it's still painful to talk about," I gave a watery smile.

"Of course it is, dear, you've been through a lot in your young life," Esme calmed me.

"Well, I stayed for the funerals but couldn't stand the looks that everyone gave me. That's the only bad thing about small towns, everyone knows everything. Jasper's family had offered for me to move back in with them here or move in with him in Seattle if I wanted to switch schools but I didn't feel it was right to do that so in the middle of the night, I packed Emily and I up and left. I left a little note for Jasper and his parents explaining that I was thankful for the offer and their hospitality but couldn't accept. I actually went back to Berkeley, moved out of my dorm and into an apartment off campus. I changed my phone number and didn't leave a forwarding address with the housing office. I didn't really want anyone to know where I was.

"I finished my degree with Emily in a daycare that is catered to young mothers who are trying to go to school, the girls there were amazing and Emily loved it for the two and a half years she was there. I graduated a year early because I wanted to be done as fast as possible. I graduated when I was 20, I have a late birthday so I was really closer to 21 at that point. I haven't been back to Forks until I moved back last month."

"This may sound a little bit insensitive so you don't have to answer if you don't want, but where do the twins come in?" Alice asked.

"No, no, of course I'll explain. I met their father in my last year of classes. He was 3 years older than I was. He had taken a couple years off after high school to work before starting at Berkeley. He was in the same business program as I was. He asked me out and I was reluctant but he eventually convinced me. We went out on a few dates before I told him about Emily and my parents. He accepted it with no problem but I didn't want him to meet her yet," I explained.

"Bella, please tell me you didn't sacrifice everything for a guy," Jasper pleaded.

"Just listen, Jasper," I told him. "We had been dating for about 2 months when he started really pushing to have sex. The first couple times I told him no, he just laughed it off and said fine. One night when we were coming back from a date I explained to him that I wanted to wait until I was married to have sex. He blew up and started ranting about how could I expect him to wait that long for me, and why was I assuming that we were going to get married. He eventually left and I went back to my apartment and cried that night. It was the first time that I had to explain to a boyfriend that I wanted to wait; I assumed that since he took news of Emily so well that he wouldn't make a big deal of it but I was wrong. I'm a more traditional person and even though I might have lost my first real boyfriend because of my beliefs I wasn't going to give in and sleep with him. I was ready to never speak to him again.

"Matt called me a week later and said he was sorry and he could accept my values and he would wait for me. I shouldn't have believed him after his big blow up but I did. We went out a couple days later and went for a walk along the beach after our date. We went pretty far until we were in a really secluded spot. I should have known something was up but I didn't think about it at the time. We sat near some rocks that made bit of a cove where no one could see anything.

"He turned to me and said that this was my last chance to give in and sleep with him. I was shocked. I asked him what he meant, that he said he was okay with waiting. He just laughed and said he was never okay with it but wanted to know what I would be like having had a kid. At that point I was really confused. He thought I had lied and that Emily was actually my daughter but I didn't want anyone to know so I made up a story saying she was my sister. I got up and tried to run away but he blocked me in and I couldn't get away. I tried screaming and yelling but it didn't help once he put his hand over my mouth. He pulled our clothes off and raped me right there on the beach. When he realized that I was actually still a virgin I remember him saying something like, 'Oh, I guess you weren't lying.' But he didn't stop. He kept going until he was satisfied while I cried and tried to scream for help. After he was done, he got up and put on his clothes and left. I laid there crying for a while before I could finally get up. I went and got Emily from her babysitter and went home and cried all night long.

"A few weeks later I realized that I was pregnant. I wasn't on the pill at the time; I had no reason to be. Anyways, I hadn't reported it, I didn't want to cause problems and go through the whole process and having to see him again. I assumed that he wouldn't come around again now that he got what he wanted. I delivered about 9 months later and I had my little boys, Kyle Jasper and Jason Charles."

I looked around the room at all the faces showing varying emotions.

"Bells, really?" Jasper chocked.

"Yeah, of course, one of them had to be named after their Uncle Jasper," I joked as he got up and came over to hug me.

"It means the world to me, I hope you know that," he whispered.

"Yeah, I'm glad you get to meet them," I replied.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry you went through all that," Rose commented. I saw some more nods around the room.

"Well, the way I look at it, I now have two wonderful sons who I wouldn't trade for the world. It's just been hard since to trust anyone, men especially," I told her.

"I honestly can't even imagine having gone through half as much as you have. You're such a strong person," Edward told me.

"Thank you, Edward, I honestly do it all for my kids," I smiled up at him. I knew that I needed to talk to him privately so that he knows he can back out for this date that we had tentatively set up. Now that he knows everything he'd be dealing with, I'm sure he probably wants out as soon as possible.

"Bella! I'm hungry!" Emily came running down the stairs with Ashley following closely behind. "And the boys are awake, I think they're getting hungry too."

"Ok, thank you for letting me know, baby. I burnt dinner earlier so I'll have to start some new, it should be about 30 minutes or so. Why don't you say goodbye to Ashley so the Cullens can get going? We don't need to monopolize their night any more than we already have," I told her.

"Bella, if you don't mind, would it be alright if we stayed a bit longer. You've got three hungry kids and we can all help out a bit, we would just be sitting at our house otherwise," Esme asked.

"Well, I don't want to pressure you guys but you're welcome to stay if you all would like," I smiled.

"Great, do you have any milk pumped? I could feed one of the boys?" Carlisle suggested.

"Sure, that would be greatly appreciated, thank you so much, Carlisle," I thanked him. I went upstairs to grab both boys, one on each hip as I walked back downstairs.

I handed Kyle to Jasper to hold and gave Jason to Carlisle. I went into the kitchen to grab two bottles and came back and handed one to Carlisle and the other to Jasper.

"Jasper, you have Kyle Jasper Swan right now, and Carlisle you're holding Jason Charles Swan," I explained.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Jasper asked.

"Well Uncle Jasper, this is a bottle, this is how babies eat. They also eat some dry cereal and mashed vegetables and fruit but now is time for milk. Either bottle or breastfeeding, but I wasn't going to do that in front of everyone," I explained.

"And I will thank you for that. I'm aware of what it is, I used to watch you feed Emily, but what I'm asking is why you're giving it to me," he clarified.

"Well, I assumed you might want to feed him but if not you can hand him off to someone else," I told him.

"Well, I'm not quite sure I'm ready for that yet so I'm going to hand him off to someone else," Jasper barely finished before Alice was reaching for Kyle to feed him.

Jasper looked a bit shocked at her eagerness.

"You better watch out Jaz, looks like you might be having the baby talk soon," I joked.

"Shut it Swan, this is all your fault," he pouted.

"Oh, Jaz, you know that we'll have babies eventually," Alice piped up.

The look on Jasper's face was priceless, "Yeah, but not yet, right?"

Alice just nodded to confirm his statement.

Ashley and Emily were sitting with Emmett and Rose playing with some of the toys that were scattered across the floor.

I walked into the kitchen and started some new water boiling.

"Em, come set the table please," I called.

Emily and Emmett came walking into the kitchen. Emily was sitting on his shoulders and she was giggling up a storm.

"Oh, Emmett, I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you to help out, have a seat," I insisted.

"Nonsense, both Ems can help set the table, little miss here is just going to show me where stuff is and we'll get going," he plucked Emily off his back and she started directing him to the cabinets to get anything out that they needed.

I started chopping some vegetables and put them into the pan to start cooking for the tomato sauce.

"Do you need some help?" I jumped as I heard Edward's voice behind me.

"Um, if you want, would you be able to put the pasta that is in the measuring cup there in the pot of water and just stir it up for me?" I asked.

He nodded and set about doing what I asked before turning back and watching me as I chopped more stuff and threw it into the pan.

Once everything was cooking, Edward and I sauntered back into the living room where everyone was sitting. The twins were just finishing up their feeding. It seems Esme finally got her hands on a baby and was now burping Jason.

I sat back and watched the group interact. Emily and Ashley were playing on the floor. Alice and Jasper were talking quietly while Kyle was still drinking his bottle, Emmett and Rose were watching the girls, Esme was still burping Jason and Carlisle was smiling blissfully at his wife. I finally looked at Edward who was staring right back at me.

"Come with me to the kitchen?" I asked quietly.

He got up and followed me. As I stirred the sauce and noodles he remained quiet, watching me.

"I, uh, I don't want you to feel like we still need to go out after I aired out all my dirty laundry. I know it's a lot to deal with and I won't blame you at all for backing out now. We can still be friends," I told him.

"Bella, when I asked you for your number, you weren't by yourself, your kids were there. I knew from the beginning that there were stories behind how they came to be and that didn't deter me at all. Why would you think that now I would?" he asked sadly.

"It's a lot more than me just having three kids now though," I explained.

"Maybe so, but now I really admire your strength and persistence more than anything. I still want to go out with you and get to know you," he insisted. "But I don't want to pressure you, if you don't feel comfortable then I'll back off."

"No, I would still like to go out with you. I feel comfortable around you," I told him.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. So, now that you have six potential babysitters, do you think you might be interested in going out with me on Tuesday?"

"Well, as long as we're not burdening them so close to Christmas."

"I'm sure they would love to babysit."

"Ok," I said and reached up and kissed him on the cheek.

I drained the pasta and tossed it in with the sauce, as I turned to get the spices out of the cabinet I saw Edward with a huge goofy smile on his face and it made me happy.

Everyone walked into the kitchen then. I plated mine and Emily's food and asked if anyone else wanted any.

"We all had dinner before we came over. We were just having dessert when Jasper had a coronary," Emmett joked.

I pulled the chocolate chip cookies and date squares out and placed them on the table for people to help themselves.

"Oh, Bella must really like you guys, normally she keeps the date squares to herself," Emily trilled.

I laughed with her and then commented, "Well, I had two babies a year ago, I need to watch what I eat so I can get the rest of this baby weight off."

Edward scoffed and I turned and looked at him. He shook his head and smirked to himself.

"Bella, honey, I don't think you need to worry about baby weight, you look amazing," Rose said.

"Well, thank you, Rose, that means a lot coming from you," I smiled.

Eventually everyone decided that they needed to get going since it was getting late.

As everyone was starting to get up, Edward stopped, "Is anyone interested in babysitting on Tuesday night?"

They all looked around and gave him confused looks.

"Bella and I are going out if she can find a babysitter," he smirked.

There was a buzz, I think I heard Rose saying that Emily could have a sleep over with Ashley that night and Esme said that her and Carlisle would love to take the twins.

Jasper stomped up to Edward and said menacingly, "Now, after you find out everything about her past, you decide to ask her out?"

"Well, I actually asked her out when I saw her at the grocery store yesterday, and then again last night at the hospital, we just finally decided when to go."

"You watch yourself, Cullen, she's my sister and I will do anything to protect her," Jasper growled.

"That's exactly what Emmett and I said to you when you started seeing Alice," Edward laughed.

"Yeah, well I haven't have much time to come up with anything original, but I will not hesitate to hurt you if you hurt her," Jasper swore.

"I know, man," Edward said. "I understand where you're coming from, but you don't have to worry."

"Good."

I followed everyone to the door and said goodbye as they walked down my driveway. Edward stopped halfway to the sidewalk, turned back, jogged back to me at the door, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said, "Goodnight, gorgeous, see you Tuesday."