So for my free day I decided to have our favourite Queen show us her skills at thievery (or lack of) Hope you enjoy!
Regina peered around the corner, her bottom lip secured between her teeth as she watched the entrance to king Midas's castle, sure it was probably a pretty reckless thing to do, but it wasn't as though he was lacking in gold, was it? He could literally make it with his hands, so was he really going to miss some? She thought not. She could quite easily have waltzed in there, Evil Queen costumed donned, offering something in return for money to be fairly distributed amongst the villagers, but that in turn meant that she would have to offer something and well, she was living in a tree, by choice, but nevertheless, she was living in a tree so what did she really have to offer?
She and Robin had been happily living out in the forest, she had used her magic to make their little house a bit bigger, mainly because she wanted a chaise chair, and a dressing table, and a somewhat larger bed, and a proper stove, and a wardrobe. Okay, so she had made quite a lot of alterations, but it was how they wanted it and even Robin admitted that it was better than it was before; they also had a door now, that was a bonus, stopped any draft which might be given off when the wind found its way through the leafy branches that they had been using in the meantime. Windows! They had windows too, gave the place a little more light, anyhow it was better than it had been previously but still comfy cosy.
The point being, she didn't really want to do any bargaining right now and Robin had been teaching her the tricks of the trade, not that she had exactly told him she was coming here today. She had crept out whilst he was asleep and travelled to Midas's castle in order to steal some gold, knowing that it would work to purchase food and better conditions for the villagers, not that she couldn't create all that with her magic, but she wanted to test out what she had learnt, that and well, she was trying to hold off on the magic after... the incident.
So a couple of weeks ago she may or may not have accidentally burnt off Robin's eyebrows, it had been his own fault, kind off. She had gone to light the stove and simply formed a fireball in her hand, not knowing that Robin had crept in behind her and went to hug her he got a little too close to her flame, surely, she couldn't take the blame for that, it was his own stupid fault, why did he think she was looking into the stove, for the good of her health? Did he think that maybe she was looking for the little man who cooked her food? He'd joked about it before when she'd asked him what was for supper, he'd say why don't you ask the little man, since you seem to think that it just comes out of nowhere, that may have been a dig at her for not cooking, so how could he then blame her for wanting to try her hand at making something and burning his eyebrows off? He couldn't.
Anyway, they had grown back now, not that he had let her live it down, he had milked it for a while, using is as an excuse not to do things to help around the house, so she had simply threatened that if he didn't cut it out she could make sure he lost his actual hair as well, apparently that had been successful as he had moved the dirty boots and cleaned hers, what a result. So yes, ever since that moment she had been trying to cut down on her use of magic, well, most of the time, pretty much only when Robin was around and she couldn't do anything that might risk more hair follicles being destroyed.
She'd visited her castle now and then, only really to take something from her vault, mix a potion here and there. That was something else she had gotten into recently, homeopathic remedies for certain ailments, she would make pain medicines and give them to the locals, who were now calling her Gina, which was odd to say the least. Apparently, they were more receptive to someone who isn't wearing expensive, sexy outfits and dark, elaborate makeup, who knew? There were a few children in the village and they simply warmed her heart, she had even let a couple of the little girls braid her hair for her, they had plaited it and entwined small white flowers which contrasted with her raven locks.
All this had led to her standing here waiting for her opportunity to steal from Midas and…
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" An out of breath voice asked from somewhere behind her.
She rolled her eyes and turned to look at him, "you followed me? I thought you were asleep," she scoffed as Robin caught up with her.
"I'm a very light sleeper I'll have you know and you do know that you have been gone hours."
"You aren't a light sleeper, I could literally kick you in the middle of the night and you wouldn't wake up."
"Okay fine, I woke up because I was hungry and wanted something to eat, then I roll over to find that madam here, is missing and has gone to 'storm a castle' I think that was what it said in your note, only I was laughing a little too much thinking this woman is crazy and must have a death wish to try and storm a castle alone."
"I'm not storming a castle," she rolled her eyes, turning back to look at said castle and looking out for any new movement that clued her up on a way to get inside.
"Oh, well," he removed the note from his pocket looking at it, "there must be something wrong with my eyes then because here it says, 'Dearest Robin, I have gone to storm a castle, might not be home for supper, if not well you'll have to get the little man in the oven to cook it instead, I think he said it was something with ham tonight, I cannot for the life of me remember. Anyhow, have a good day, don't do anything I wouldn't do. All my love Gina.' That was then followed by something I couldn't make out, some little squiggly line things."
"Ah, that is a smiley face," she smirked looking to the letter.
"Funny looking smiley face if you ask me."
"In the land without magic they have these phone things called emojis and that is my version of a winky smiley face emoji."
"Well how was I supposed to know what that was, I thought it was some kind of code left from you to me that I was supposed to be understanding."
"Well I would have thought you could tell that it was a face of some description."
"I…"
"Never mind, the point is you're here now and I am sure you will be more than happy to help me steal some things."
"Oh yes I am here now, but in your note, which was extremely unhelpful by the way, you forgot to mention exactly which castle you were planning on storming, so obviously I have been to another three before this one. First, I checked out your castle, just in case you had gone to use the creepy room with the hearts…"
"My vault?"
"Yes that, and then I decided the venture off to Rumpelstiltskin's, no such luck there either, however I did pick up something of value, so I suppose that wasn't a completely wasted trip."
"You stole from Rumple's castle?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him, that was a brave move if ever she had heard of one.
"Hmm."
"Well, let's just hope that they don't find themselves back here any time soon, we wouldn't want him coming back and torturing you now would we?"
"I'm sure that you would stop him before it got that far would you not?"
"Depends if I am feeling festive," she smirked, "but I rather like you with eyebrows, so we better make sure they stay on your face."
"Oh haha, I didn't see you laughing at the time, in fact I think you cried."
"I did not cry," she huffed, her hands landing on her hips as she glared at him.
"Oh Robin I am so sorry, are you alright?" He mocked putting on an emotional voice which was pitched to sound feminine.
"That was a truly offensive representation of me, for one my voice is almost as deep as yours…"
"I hardly think so milady," he tutted.
"And two, I don't cry."
"On the contrary, I have seen you cry several times."
"Okay then let me re phrase, I don't cry over burnt brows."
He grinned, dropping his bow down beside her before sitting on the ground, "whatever, I know the truth."
"So you said you visited three castles?"
"Hmm, my third castle was one that apparently belonged to a fire breather, luckily she wasn't home otherwise I have a feeling that I would have had more than just my eyebrows singed."
"Mal," she grinned, "hmm, I think I can guarantee that had she been home you would have most certainly been given a run for your money, in fact I think she would have been having an Outlaw barbeque," she sat down on the ground beside him, placing the sack she had brought with her to carry her wears in down first so that she could sit on it and not get her pants dirty, tan trousers and dirt made for an unpleasant mix.
"Well, she wouldn't have enjoyed it now would she, I'm all muscle, there's not fat on me."
"I don't know about that I think I might have to start rationing you, you're getting too much food."
"Oi you," he pushed her playfully, "I'm a growing man, I need to eat."
"You're always hungry and you're hardly a growing man, I think you've done all the growing you can do dear," she laughed, looking to the castle again and seeing someone wheeling in a barrel of what she could only assume was some sort of alcohol. "Look at that," she gestured towards the man but there was more than one now.
"They're kegs, so?"
"So why do people have that many kegs brought in at once?"
"They like their ale?"
"No, guess again."
"They bath in it?"
"Nope," she rolled her eyes, "they're having some kind of party."
"Ah okay and what does that mean?"
"That means that they are going to be so focused on the main hall and the guests, that no one is going to be paying any attention to the stash of gold," she grinned, "now what we need to work out is how we get from out here, to in there."
"Well I think you might be lucky that I decided to come along on this excursion then, because I know how."
"How?"
"Follow me, I have a cunning plan."
"This was your cunning plan?" she snapped, shuffling a little to avoid knocking the cake which they were stuck in a box with as it got wheeled into the castle.
"We're getting in aren't we?" he rolled his eyes, "sit still and shush."
"I really feel sorry for whoever is going to be eating this cake because I think I just trailed my hair through the icing."
"Oh how lovely," he chuckled, letting out an oomph as they went over a bump.
"How exactly do you plan on us getting out of here unseen?"
"Well I'm guessing that when we stop moving, we make a run for it."
She shouldn't be going along with this plan, she should have found her own way to get into the castle, because she was pretty sure that his way was going to result in them both being caught and maybe even shoved in jail, she might be able to survive being a bandit, but she didn't really fancy a jail cell, that was pushing it a little too far for her taste, she needed at least some comforts.
"If this cake falls on me I am going to personally make you eat it all."
"Ooh, kinky," he smirked, "I would rather like to lick icing from your body, maybe we should keep that in mind for a future encounter."
"Ha, do you really think I was some sticky sweet substance on me just for you to lick off?"
"Don't you already, I quite enjoy licking your sugary sweet substance."
"You think you're so clever," she tutted, not being able to help the smirk from playing on her face, she knew how much he enjoyed eating her out.
"I don't think it, I know it" she looked at him from across the crate, he was sat at the other side of the cake and she saw the look of mischief on his face.
"Robin of Locksley, what is that look you just gave me?"
"What look?" he asked, that annoying smirk playing on his features, showing off his beautiful dimples
"That one."
"I don't have a look."
"Oh you do mister and whatever it is you are planning, stop."
"I'm not planning anything," he shook his head, looking at the wood on the box as she glanced down at her hands, all of a sudden she felt him touch her nose and looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Please tell me you didn't do what I think you just did."
"What I was just touching your nose."
"Why?"
"I wanted to see how squishy it was," he shrugged.
She gritted her teeth together and shook her head, "you wanted to see how squishy it was? Fuck off, you idiot, I know exactly what you just did," she stuck her tongue out and touched her nose with it, tasting the sugary icing, "oh I am going to kill you for that."
"It's just a little bit of icing, what's it really going to do to you?"
She stared at him before pushing the top layer of the cake towards him causing it to fall onto his lap, she let out a little giggle at the shocked look on his face. "What? It's just a bit of icing what's it gonna do to you?" she mocked.
"You did not just do that, I was being discreet so they wouldn't notice that their cake was completely trashed, I can't actually believe you just did that," he scoffed, picking up the layer she had just pushed onto him, he was about to throw it at her when the cart jolted and all at once as if in slow motion, Robin threw it and managed to knock the whole of the rest of the cake with it, resulting in Regina covered from head to toe in chocolate and fondant icing. "Oh. My. God!" he laughed, tears nearly streaming down his face as he looked at her.
"Do you think this is funny?!" she seethed, glaring at him.
"Not at all," he sniggered, "you look beautiful and maybe my fantasy of licking icing off you is coming true."
"I swear to god," she wiped the remnants of cake out of her eyes and off her face throwing it at him. She jumped at him, making sure that he got as covered in the cake and icing as she was, smushing it all over him as he playfully tried to wrestle her off him. But their play fighting soon resulted in bouts of giggles as Robin found her ticklish spot. "Stop!" She shout whispered, wary that someone was probably pulling the cart there were in, "Robin stop before someone hears us."
"Sorry," he grinned ceasing his actions and simply looking down at her, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, "that was fun."
"It was," she agreed, her breath hitching somewhat as she looked into his eyes then moved them to his lips licking her own, "you have a little icing… all over really," she breathed, using her thumb to wipe it from his mouth, only for him to take it inside and bite on it gently, his tongue caressing over her the pad of her thumb, causing her to let out a little moan.
"Delicious," he nodded, allowing her to drop her hand before moving in to claim her lips with his, kissing her softly.
"It is rather nice," she smiled, kissing him again, only for the cart to jolt to a stop, resulting in them banging their foreheads together, "ouch," she chuckled, "well this robbery is off to an amazingly shocking start."
"You may be right there."
"Oh I think I am."
They managed to sneak out of the cake crate, Regina using a little magic to put it back together again as though it had never been destroyed in the first place, she also stripped herself of any cakey residue, Robin however was paying for his crimes of starting their cake war, he could walk around with it all over him, that and she might decide that later she wanted to lick some sugary icing off his body, two can play at that game.
Now they were creeping down the corridors, they had seen that the guests were beginning to filter in, Regina had been to many a party in this castle so she knew exactly what it was like to be one of those guests, but right now, she was the opposite. Midas wasn't even really one of the bad ones, sure he had been friends with Leopold, but he had always been kind to her, even after Leopold's death, something told her that he knew parts of what had gone on and maybe he was on her side more than Leopold's, but for the sake of the kingdoms relationship had kept quiet.
She and Robin slinked past guards and hid behind pillars, there was something so exhilarating about knowing that they could get caught at any minute. Never in a million years had she thought that she would enjoy the act of stealing, but she got off on it, it gave her a rush, a buzz like nothing else, left her wishing she had found it earlier instead of turning to some of the things she had used to do. Sure, it was wrong, being a thief, but was it if she was doing it for a good cause? To give back to the people. She had a justified motive and she felt that instead of a villain, that made her somewhat of a hero, didn't it?
Regina heard a door nearby squeak open and she shoved Robin behind a pillar quickly, not having expected that particular door to open and coming face to face with a guard. Her eyes went wide as he looked at her, "what are you doing here?" He griped.
"I'm here for the ball," she nodded, looking down at her bandit clothing and grimacing, sure you really look like you're dressed for a ball, well done Queenie.
"Could have fooled me," he grabbed her wrist and he was really going to wish he hadn't.
"Oh sorry, this is my travel attire," she shrugged, she was caught, she was going to have to do something to get out of the situation, even if that meant she was completely dropping Robin in it. She took a deep breath and used her magic to dress herself in a tight-fitting crimson dress that had a black panel in the middle and flowed out at the bottom, her hair bunched into a half up half down look and her make up was fierce as ever. "Now if you would unhand me before I throw you out of that window, that would be great."
The guards face fell somewhat as he backed up, "you're… you are…"
"A useless thief," Robin whispered.
She ignored him and glared at the man in front of her, reflecting all her anger onto him, trying not to turn around and push Robin over with her magic. "Spit it out I don't have all day," she rolled her eyes.
"The Evil Queen."
"Well done, you have eyes, now can I go into the party or are you going to attempt to throw me out?"
"Of course not, please go ahead."
"Thank you," she nodded, walking back towards the hall, looking behind her and casting Robin a wink, she knew that he would be able to pull of the heist on his own, even if she was slightly annoyed because she would have loved to take part in that aspect and not just be the distraction, as always.
She entered the hall and saw a lot of dignitaries whom she was familiar with, most importantly the man of the hour, King Midas, the one who turns whatever he might touch to gold, unless he has the gloves on, which she was quite grateful for at that minute because he was coming towards her and although she knew she would look flawless as a golden statue, she didn't really want to be turned to gold, it might hinder their plan somewhat.
"Regina! I didn't know you were back in the Enchanted Forest."
"Oh, yes, well, I am so," she smiled and accepted the hug he pulled her into.
"It's good to see you my child and may I say you look stunning tonight, somewhat different from when I last saw you."
"Ah well, lots has changed," she laughed, tucking her hair behind her ear, "I don't know if you heard the rumours or…"
"Oh well Abigail told me everything."
"Kathrine? She's here?"
"Oh yes, I forgot that was what you cursed her to be."
She cringed a little and nodded, "yes, I am eternally sorry about that." Well she was, sort of, not that she regretted it, because if none of that happened, she would have never had the chance to raise a little boy, so yes she might have been with Regina then, but they still rose Henry together and she wouldn't trade that time for the world, even if she accepted that Regina was his mother, she knew he was better off with her anyhow.
"My dear do not fret, I wasn't any the wiser, as I think I may have been under some curse of my own."
"My mother's curse," she sighed, knowing that her mother had protected certain parts of the land from being taken over in her curse, but still freezing the time in that land.
"Yes, well I am sure that Abigail will be happy to…"
"Regina?" She looked up seeing the woman in question, "you're back?"
"Yes," she whispered, they didn't know that she was the Evil Queen, no one in this realm knew that she and Regina were now separate, not that it made a difference, technically she was still Regina, just a different part of her.
"What happened? Is everyone else back with you? I know you were sent back to Storybrooke in the curse you planned, but I didn't really expect to see you return."
"They are all still there, in Storybrooke," she smiled, taking a drink from one of the waiters and bringing it to her lips, sipping some of the champagne and wishing it was something stronger. "I chose to return here, for certain reasons which I don't really care to go into detail about."
"Yes but Henry?"
"He's with his mother, he's fine," the Queen nodded, he was more than fine, he had Regina, Emma and everyone else in that town looking out for him.
"You just left him with Emma?" Kathrine rose her eyebrows, "well I never…"
"Not just Emma, I left him with Regina too, let's just say Regina managed to tear herself in half and well yes."
"Oh," to say the blonde looked confused was an understatement, she looked as though she had just been told that fish could fly and had it not been quite serious, Gina would have been tempted to laugh.
Instead she held up her drink, clinking it against Abigail's, "cheers," she downed the rest of it before grabbing another off the tray and beginning to circulate, this was why she hated these stupid parties, she was sure that everyone's eyes were on her and she didn't like being watched, how was she supposed to make a break for it with everyone watching her like they were?
About an hour had passed and she wondered what the hell was taking him so long, he should have found a way to tell her that they could leave by now surely, she was sick to death of having to make small talk with all these annoying aristocrats.
"Your majesty!" She whipped around to the main entrance and let out an audible groan as she saw two guards holding Robin and dragging him into the hall and he had the cheek to call her a useless thief. She watched as Midas approached them and she immediately headed over to catch up with them as he moved outside the hall away from the guests.
"Where did you find him?" the king asked, looking Robin up and down.
"He was pilfering gold from the royal treasury milord."
"In my defence, you do have the ability to create gold with your hands so, it's not as if you need it all, really is it?" he shrugged, clearly, he was a lot calmer than she was, at that very moment she was freaking out, she knew what happened to thieves, especially when they were caught stealing from the royal families.
She cleared her throat before Midas even spoke up, "you!" she stalked towards them, hoping that her acting skills paid off.
They all turned to look at her, Robin a slight smirk on his lips before looking down and pretending to look scared of her, "Queen Regina? You know this man?"
"Oh yes, this is the thief who stole from my castle last week," she spat, stalking towards them and looking Robin up and down, "he stole my favourite necklace."
"In my defence, I stole that for my missus," he grinned looking to the necklace she was currently wearing and true he had actually stolen that one, just not from her, from a different dignitary, she had taken quite the fancy to it and Robin being Robin decided that she would have it.
She had to resist the urge to smirk along with him, but instead she narrowed her eyes and paced around him, "well, isn't it a shame that you won't see her ever again."
"I won't? Oh no, however will she manage to make her own supper?" he huffed looking to Midas, "my bird thinks that there is a little man in the oven who cooks all her food for her."
"Enough! You talk of this woman as though she is stupid," Regina scoffed, "well, she would have to be to put up with someone as tediously boring as yourself."
"Oh you wound me milady you think I am tediously boring?"
"Well you are boring me with your petty excuses for theft, why don't we end this now, Midas, if you would let me, I would rather like to take this, thief, back to my castle, you see, I have been after him for a very, very long time and now that you have managed to detain him for me, I don't think I can leave him here."
"Oh, why of course, do as you see fit child," he nodded, "are you going to kill the outlaw?" he whispered in her ear.
"Of course not," she laughed, "death is too good for him," she cupped his chin in her hand digging her nails in slightly daring him to smirk at her. "Well, I definitely enjoyed this get together Midas, but it seems I must be on my way, would you bid my farewell to Abigail?"
"Yes, I will dear, thank you for your attendance."
"Oh trust me, the pleasure was mine entirely," she grinned, winking at Robin before they were surrounded in a cloud of purple magic and deposited outside the castle. She let go of him and chuckled, "so, where the gold?"
"The gold?"
"Oh you best have got the gold or I might just be going back on what I said to the king just then!" She threatened.
"Don't worry your evilness, I dropped it out of the window when I found I had been caught out."
"Good job outlaw," she looked to the massive pile of gold which laid on the ground underneath said window.
"I have to say for a minute there I was slightly intimidated by you," he grinned his hands moving over her waist, "you're rather sexy when you act all evil."
"Really?" she bit down on her bottom lip as her nails dug into his upper arms.
"Oh yes, I want to rip that dress off your body," he breathed in her ear as he pulled her against his body.
"Well, I think that can be arranged, because I think you might still have a little icing that needs to be cleaned somehow," she whispered, kissing the side of his neck, using her tongue swirling it around and moaning, "delicious."
"Get us home now."
"With pleasure. Thief."
