Alright you guys I am really sorry for the late update, but here's a little piece of something. I know it's not much, but its something right? As you can tell I have major writers block. So hopefully I can try to get a chapter up every week if it's possible. With my new job I work twelve hours a day literally. Which leaves with not much time to do a lot of things. Anyway that's neither here nor there. Enjoy my loves.
"Stiles please."
"I need some time Jackson."
"Alright." I said nodding my head hopping out the window.
As soon as I hit the ground I turn back up to his window hoping that he would tell me to come back. After a minute or so I continued walking to my car. In that exact moment, my heart momentarily shattered.
The merest thought that I might lose my mate is unbearable. I need to get far away from here before I do something stupid. As fast I, could I raced to the preserve. My wolf was itching to get out; it needed to be set free and roam. I cut off my car getting out without even closing the door peeling my shirt off and kicking off my shoes in the process.
My wolf finally breaks through as I start running and transforming at the same time. Feeling the need to hunt down any and everything. I howled as loud as I could making a few birds fly quickly from the trees. My bare feet pounding against the dirt leaves as my pace quickened. Feeling someone gaining in on me my feet moves faster than it was before.
Suddenly my face comes in contact with the forest leaves and dirt no telling what else is mixed in there. I grit my teeth as I feel the weight being removed from my back; and being yanked up in th process.
"What the hell were you thinking? Are you trying to attract more attention to us?" He growled out. Rolling my eyes I turn around and face him crumbling under his heated gaze.
"No." I mumbled knowing that he can still hear me.
"Then enlighten me on what you were doing then. Cause to me it sounded like you were trying to." Sighing I scratch the back of my neck.
"I don't know alright! All I know is that I needed to run wild. Well my wolf did." I explained.
Derek nods as he unfold his arms placing them by his side.
"Stiles knows about the whole mate thing doesn't he?" He ask raising his eyebrow.
I slightly nod putting my head down; turning away feeling hurt.
"I told you to tell him Jackson, but no you just had to prolong it and instead handle it your way. Geez I wish you idiots would just listen to me and maybe just maybe things would actually turn out the right way." He declared.
He actually sounds like he cares.
"Don't you think I know that Derek? I fucked up yes I did, but-
"But nothing Jackson. Not only did you fuck up for yourself, but you did for everyone." He screamed.
Wait what does that mean! I thought.
"How does this affect any of you? He's my mate." I asked confusingly.
Derek steps dangerously close pushing me back in the process.
"And he's our pack mate, he's resourceful for when we can't be. We need him and he was pack before you even decided to be. How dare you even ask me that question?"
He yelled jabbing his finger in my chest. Eye's flashing crimson red.
"Do you honestly think what you did don't affect us? Now that he doesn't trust you how do you know he will trust us? His own best friend Jackson; covered for your sorry ass. Everyone has and for what? Because you can't admit to loving another person specifically a guy. Your so butt hurt that your real parents gave you up for what reason we don't know, but to now have parents who actually give a shit about you and spoil you with things just to prove that they care and for you to love them back."
"You know I would kill to have my parents alive and with me and yet here you are being a ungrateful piece of shit because supposedly nothing would ever be good enough you. Not even Stiles who you lied to by the way for months because of your 'emotional detachment' issues. So yes it does affect us." Derek said.
Suddenly he grabs me by the throat pinning me against the tree. Baring his teeth eyes still burning that crimson red.
"If we lose Stiles due to your fucked up issues. Then I would personally see to it that I punish you severely showing no remorse whatsoever. This is my only warning fix it!" He said with malice in his voice dropping me to the ground walking away.
I sit up coughing trying to catch my breathe. Leaning my head against the tree feeling wetness trickling down my face. For the first time in a long time I thought of everyone else instead of just myself. Rolling over I get up heading back to my car thinking about what Derek said. Wincing at the fact that I knew he wasn't joking about punishing me.
More importantly that I can't deal with my emotions. It never occurred to me to care for anyone anymore. Sighing I get up and head back to my car noticing that I've been here for a while. I pick my shirt and shoes off the ground tossing them inside my car. Starting up my car heading the opposite direction of my house.
Parking across the street I get out making my way around the side of the house. Looking around to see if anyone was watching. There wasn't so I started climbing up to the familiar window. Hoping for the first time that everything would be okay again. And maybe this will help me figure out things with Stiles.
Once I made it up to the window I let myself in closing it behind me.
"I was Wondering when you would show up." She said as I was turning around with her arms opened wide. Exhaling I walk into her arms feeling something I haven't felt in a long time since I've transition into a werewolf.
"He hates me. And I don't know if he'll every forgive me." I cried into her shoulder. I can feel her nodding all the while moving us to sit down on her bed. She lets me go and starts to rub my back soothingly.
"Look at me Jackson!" She demands and I turned to look at her.
"He loves you with a doubt, but what you did hurt him to core. The lying, cheating, and keeping stuff from him. How long did you think that was going to last?"
I turn and look at her in disbelief. How did she know about the-
She cuts my thoughts off nodding her head.
"Yeah I know what cheating and lying looks like Jackson. I'm very familiar with it. Through all of that I still love you, And I know he does too." She said reassuring. I take the back of my hand and wiped my face. Sniffling I asked her.
"What's wrong with me? Why can't I just love someone without hurting them?" Searching her eyes for an answer. Sadly she smiles.
"Because your hurting. You have a lot of anger buried deep inside you that you need to let go of. Part of that starts with your birth parents. They could have loved you unconditionally, but something tragic could have happened. You may never know, but you have parents who do care for you and would do anything to keep you safe."
"Yet not once have I ever heard you say that you love them. All the years that I've known you endlessly I watch you try so hard to prove yourself to them and everyone else. Thinking that if you tried to knock any and everyone out of your way to get to the top that somehow you wouldn't be worthless."
Putting me head everything that she was saying was so true. It made me feel so awful.
"The way you treated me Jackson was not okay. You hurt me, but I knew it was just a cry out for help. I still stuck by you because I knew that you would eventually come around to being loving guy. Which now I you are, because you wouldn't be here now trying to fix the damage you have caused with Stiles."
"Just know I will always be here if you need me. Especially now I see that you love him and that makes me happy." She says smiling wiping the stray tears from my face. "Also pull this stunt again and your ass is mine. Now go away I need my beauty sleep she says laughing. Smiling I stood up pulling her up with me hugging her.
Giving her a chaste kiss on her head I pull away. Turning I head towards the window with her following in tow. I get halfway out turning her way.
"Thank you Lydia." With that I hop down from the window walking over to my car to head home.
20 minutes later..
I get home heading straight to my room to get my thoughts in order for tomorrow. Knowing that it may or may not be a good day.
Alright that's it for now. I assure you that there will be more to come trust me. Remember to comment me your feedback. Thank you,
