Oh, Sin, what have you done? He couldn't get the image of it out of his mind. The savage look in her eyes. The heart in her hands. The body dangling limply behind her. The stench. The blood. There was so much blood. She was covered in it. Her blonde hair stained red, her blades coated. She had caused it, that overkill the likes of nothing he had ever seen. Now all he saw when he closed his eyes was the love of his life, kneeling in a pool of blood, trembling and begging him to help her.

And he had turned his back on her and walked away.

Why did you do it, sweetheart? You were doing so well. It didn't have to come to that. You should have let me come with you. His head in his hands he sat behind his desk feeling completely numb. He heard the gentle knock at the door and hesitated before he looked; if it was her, he couldn't face her yet, he was too ashamed.

"Dorian said you might need to talk."

Leliana. It's just Leliana. He did need to talk, he just didn't have the words. She came to his side and knelt, looking up into his eyes with concern and resolve.

"Cullen, listen to me. There is something you need to know about her, about people like us. You don't become the way that we are by choice. It is a nature born of necessity and a will to survive; a result of a life of exceptionally hard choices, pain, and broken hearts. It's not easy to do what we do, but it's also not easy to change."

He finally lifted his head to stare blankly at a space on the wall. Leliana stood and then sat on his desk, clearly deep in thought as to what she was going to say next, how she was going to tell him whatever it was she felt he needed to know.

"You see, it consumes you. It becomes you. It breaks you, changes you into an instrument of death. You need it because without it you'll go mad. It takes root in your soul, dwelling within like a demon of your very own, and if you don't feed it, it will destroy you. You control it because you've learnt how, but…that control will always be dubious, there will always remain a threat of something coming along to steal it. She's better with you, I have been watching her. She was so in control, but then what happened with Lincoln, with her clan…Cullen, ask yourself what kind of control you would have if that was you? With that kind of demon living inside you? If your whole family, your whole village and everything you ever knew was obliterated, what would you do? Could you have made the sacrifice that she made without suffering some collateral yourself?"

Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. As Leliana's words sank in, he began to put himself in Tamsin's shoes, tears prickling at the edges of his eyes. What she must be feeling. What would he have done? If he had the chance for revenge, would he have taken it? Would he even have the strength to make the level of sacrifice she had done? He had been so quick to judge her. How could he have been so cruel? She couldn't control her cruelty, but he had made the conscious choice to abandon her and show his. What had he done?

"Cullen, she needs you. She's better with you. Please, give her a chance… for all our sakes."

She stood from the desk and patted him on the shoulder, exiting his office in silence and leaving him alone with his thoughts once more. Leliana was right. He couldn't do this to Sin. He was angry with her, and for her, but he loved her more than life itself. He felt sick at the thought of a life without her.

If Leliana believed she was better with him, then maybe he could fix her; maybe they could fix each other.

"How is she, Dorian?"

Leliana met him at the lower door to Sin's quarters. They had managed to keep a lid on what had happened in the dungeons yesterday morning thanks to a master class in tact and spin from Josephine, but those who did know what had played out were all keeping a close eye on the Inquisitor. They began to walk towards the library tower together, talking in hushed tones.

"I've never seen her like this, Lel. It's like she's not even there. She just sits there, muttering to herself. She won't even talk to me, will barely make eye contact. Is this what happens when an assassin finally breaks?"

"It can. We are trained to block out emotion when it comes to certain aspects of our work, but sometimes events are triggered that makes it impossible; the result as you see can be devastating. To come face to face with all the atrocities you've ever committed…I wouldn't want to be her right now."

"It seems it could be avoided if they made you all tranquil, does it not?"

"It is not so simple. An effective agent needs to be so many things. Ruthless, capable, cunning, yes, but to be a true master like Tamsin, you also need to be an excellent actress. That is hard to do if you can't tap into emotions when you need to. Our emotions are as big a part of our arsenal as our blades and our minds."

"Have you spoken to the Commander yet? I'll be frank, I'm more than a bit pissed off that he hasn't put in an appearance. She needs him, the rest of us have done all that we can."

"I know, and yes I spoke to him…after a fashion. The conversation was rather one sided. I tried to explain this life to him, to put him in her shoes. I know Cullen, he will forgive her, but it will not be easy for him. He is a complex man with a difficult past of his own. He is prideful, and his pride has taken a great blow, by his own hand no less. I have every faith that he will swallow that pride, I just cannot say how long it will take him to do it. He loves her and that could make it simpler, or infinitely more complicated."

"Well hopefully it's the former, she is slipping more and more by the hour. The longer he takes the more of her we lose."

"I know…I can't help but feel this is all my fault. If I had have done my job better, the whole situation could have been avoided."

"Don't beat yourself up over it, love. The Venatori are crafty bastards and they are as unpredictable as the magic they use. Don't sell yourself short, your scouts tracked them down when many who have tried failed. Sin may still have learnt something more important from Alexius down there, hopefully she isn't too broken to remember."

"So it may not all be for a loss…time will tell I suppose."

So much blood. So much blood. So much…what have I done? She sat curled against the railing of the balcony as every second of yesterday morning flashed before her eyes. Her hands were scrubbed clean now, but she couldn't look at them, all she saw was all that blood. The smell lingered in her nose, the sounds in her ears, and every time she closed her eyes all she saw was him turning away from her. Giving up on her, like she was beyond salvation.

Yesterday she lost everything. Her brother. Her people. Her lover.

Maybe even her mind.

So much blood…so….much…

He's coming. You need to help him. He is pained. You must help him.

Cole's pale, blue eyes looked to the door that joined the battlements and the tavern and waited. Several minutes later, it opened, and Cullen was striding towards him, grim and defeated.

"I knew you would come. You are in pain. You need my help."

"Cole, don't take this as my condoning you being here. I just need to know, I need to understand."

"She only wanted to protect you. From them, from harm. From herself. She feels inferior to you, imperfect. She is afraid of you seeing that imperfection. She doesn't know that you are not so different. You need to show her. She is afraid of you leaving her. She is afraid of you giving up."

"Which is exactly what I did…"

The Commander slumped against one of the barrels in the loft, head in his hands.

Yes. It is.

"It is not too late. Though it soon will be. Her sun sets with every passing hour. She is slipping away. You love her. You must prove it to her, before she is lost to us all. She needs to see who you really are."

Honey caramel coloured eyes looked up at him full of humiliation, searching Cole's face for the courage to act.

"Can't you help her?"

"She is beyond my help. You are the only one who can bring her back to us now. She needs your forgiveness, not mine."

With that, he turned his back and disappeared into nothingness, leaving the Commander to his own devices. Cole had done all that he could, the rest was in Cullen's hands.