Act 3 – Never not going to…
God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen. – unknown poem -
Anya could hardly take a full breath. Everything around her was foreign and unapologetically aggressive. The air was heavy, too many people in a dungeon with too few windows; it smelled of sweat and blood and mould and it clogged into her throat, almost activating her gag reflex. The people were shoulder to shoulder and their voices mingled together as they yelled with their arms flailing about, encouraging the fighters in the middle of the room, exchanging money or making gestures to communicate over the noise.
Anya gripped Alicia's hand tighter as Ali pulled them through the horde of bodied.
"Where are you taking us?" Anya yelled, loud enough to be heard over the crowd.
"Further in. We can't see a bloody thing from here."
What was there to see?
But Anya followed Alicia anyway, because she hadn't not wanted to come here and frankly, because she had no other choice but to keep hold on, Because Anya knew that if she let go of her friend, they'd lose each other in the crown for good.
"There they are!" Alicia yelled and pointed at somewhere in front of her. Anya looked around, but there were so many people that she couldn't distinguish anything familiar… Until a bright flash of blonde hair caught her eye.
Oh hell…
"Cleo! Over here!" Alicia yelled and waved vigorously. The blonde saw them and smiled brightly, waving them over. She had her arm laced with Lola Whitmore – one of the ballerinas at the academy that the blonde was friends with - and was standing right next to James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.
Anya felt the room grow smaller as if only now the reality of her stupidity was sinking in: how could she have let this happen? She could no longer remember why she had wanted to be here in the first place, all she wanted to do was get out.
Why do you do this to herself?
Alicia kept dragging her along and Anya held on tighter to that wrist. Her heart was pounding, her palms were twitchy, her knees felt weak. She recognized the adrenaline shooting in her veins and wondered whether it was from fear or excitement.
Probably both.
Anya stayed in the back as Alicia greeted the boys and girls around her loudly and cheerfully while Anya only nodded and smiled their way. Even though she couldn't see her own face, she felt that her smile probably looked more like a reluctant wince than anything else.
A loud horn sounded over the racket it startled Anya out of her skin.
"The next fight's about to start." Alicia explained right next to her ear, and Anya nodded.
"You ok?" Alicia asked looking her friend over. Anya looked the picture of uncomfortableness, but her eyes were alive and alert and Alicia could see that Anya was taking everything in and storing it away the way she did with almost everything else.
"Alright ladies and fucking gentlemen, the bloody Circle is open for business." A man's raw, scratchy voice boomed through the noise. "You know the rules: betting ends once the fighters step in the circle, no touching the fighters, no shifting the bets, no stepping into the Circle. You break the rules, I break your faces boys and girls, so heads up."
"Alright then, give a loud welcome to our challenger for tonight, Emanuel 'Manny' Garcia."
The cheering was like a shockwave to Anya's ears. There was screaming, cursing and whistling but still, the crowd parted like the red sea when the fighter stepped in. They had made a circle in the middle of the room and Anya supposed that was where the action was going to happen.
Emanuel 'Manny' Garcia stepped in the room shirtless, rolling his shoulders and jumping up and down, shaking his arms at his sides. He was tall, his body defined, the muscles rippling with his movements. His dark sharp eyes perused the crowd and the goatee around his mouth made him look more menacing somehow…
Or as if he'd French-kissed the tailpipe of a car, Anya thought instinctively and couldn't help a smirk. She didn't much like facial hair in men.
"Our next fighter is someone that the regulars in this Circle know and love: the merciless, the bloody, the yet undefeated… Sirius Black!"
And it was obvious that he was 'known and loved' because the crowd went insane and Anya had the urge to put her hands over her ears, but she had to keep them out for balance because people kept pushing against her and throwing her off. She was trying to keep herself from falling and being stepped over… then she wasn't anymore…
Because when Anya first saw him step in the room, when her eyes made contact with his… her breathing literally stopped.
She had caught glimpses of his tattoos before – when she wore short sleeved T-shirts she had seen the curling ends of a tribal tattoo on one upper arm, some complex design on the underside of his other arm… but looking at all of that ink on his skin all at once, curling around his tight muscles like black intricate veins, was surprisingly shocking. The tattoos practically covered both his wide shoulders, stretching to his upper arms in twirling shapes. There was another on the right side of his chest, and another - some words Anya couldn't read - that stretched from his hip to his stomach.
But that was not the point at all - It was what Anya saw in his eyes that made her heart do the flip-flop.
The point was the expression on his face, that tight mix of violence and lethal anger, so focused that it could cut through solid concrete. The expression on his face reminded her of exactly why she stayed away from him and everyone like him. The focus of him, that harsh concentration and tension coiled in his whole being…well, it was hard not to be reminded of how much Anya really feared Sirius Black and why. How could people not see all the poison in him, Anya had wondered that often. He wasn't even good at hiding it…
The sinewy muscles under his skin stretched and rippled when he popped his fists against his opponents as an acknowledgment. A second later, fists started flying and aiming for heads, ribs, livers. They were both so fast…
After the fight started, elbows jammed into her sides and shoulders pushed at her, bouncing her back and forth but Anya could still see the two fighters at the centre of the circle going at each other.
She saw when Black's head was locked into the crook of the other one's arm. Garcia was trying to throw Black to the ground. And it was hard to miss when Black used the other guy's momentum to grab him by the neck and slam him into the floor – but not before crashing his knee into Garcia's face. Before his opponent had to time to catch his breath, Black was all over him with a ferocity that froze Anya's breath in her lungs, punching him in the face over and over and over again…
Emanuel 'Manny' Garcia's face was a bloody mess and Black just kept hitting him like an animal.
He's going to kill him…
The only thought running in Anya's head was 'somebody please stop him!'.
And somebody did.
Black was pulled and thrown off his victim, who lay on the dirty floor unmovable. Even after he was pulled off Emanuel Garcia, Black was like a restless animal, pacing around as two men checked his fallen adversary.
All Anya could hear was the beating of her heart in her ears.
There was some signalling among the men on the Circle and then the big scruffy man that had introduced the fighters stepped close to Black, grabbed his wrist and lifted it up into the air. The crowd's explosive cheers were a dull roar in Anya's ears. She was too busy trying make her heart slow down. But the murderous look on Black's face was making it hard. God, his anger burned so bright, it was so acidic that it could have burned a hole through anything.
It was poisonous… And the most terrifying thing Anya had ever seen.
Where did all that hatred come from? All that violence, the unstoppable momentum of it, as if he was possessed, as if he wanted to hurt people, to cause pain. As if he was blinded by it…
The blood all over him…
He was like a vision from one of her nightmares…
Dangerous.
Yes, Anya told herself. Dangerous. And she better remember it well.
oOoOo
Anya was among the first people to get out of that damn basement. She followed Alicia to one of the allies at the back of the complex. There were more bikes parked on the sidewalk than Anya had ever seen. All kinds of them, from Harleys to Scooters, with strange designs on the plastic, in sleek vibrant colours. Even there unmoving, most of them seemed fast.
Alicia had told her that sometimes there were races around here, but Anya doubted they'd see one tonight.
Anya had managed to slip away from the group with a lame excuse and now was in the shadows of one of the buildings close by, watching as Ali, Cleo, Lola and the rest of them joked and laughed. She noticed the sneer on Alicia's face every time Black would talk to her, the mocking smirk on his whenever he talked back. She watched as Cleo laughed and hugged and touched so casually, so absentmindedly. A hand around his waist, a casual arm over her shoulders, in her brilliant blonde hair that was loose and in soft romantic waves. He had a bruise forming on his jaw, on his knuckles, but other than that, there was no sign he'd been in a violent fight tonight.
Anya turned away and made to walk around a bit, brushing off the occasional whistles and comments with the ease she always had. They meant nothing.
She didn't know why she felt so poorly all of the sudden. All she wanted was to crawl into under the covers of her bed and stay there until the gaping hole in her chest stopped hurting. This feeling was multilayered and complex, but it tasted so bitterly of disappointment that it was hard to call it by any other name.
And it hurt, it really did. It ached as if it was a physical wound, but Anya didn't want to soothe herself. This pain was all her own fault and she wanted it to hurt. Maybe that would teach her not to assume things about people she didn't even know. There was a very wide gap between what she thought she knew about people, and the reality of who those people really were. And whoever Black had been when he'd been eleven was gone now. Maybe it had never existed at all, except for in Anya's imagination.
She felt so perverse all of a sudden. There had to be something twisted in her to make her mull over all this so much.
The mere thought of it made her sick.
Anya was trying to arrange her short dress so that she could sit down without flashing anyone when she heard a rustle that had nothing to do with the sounds that had come before it. It was shuffling, running and yelling that started from the people at the end of the alley and spread to the rest like wind.
When Anya heard the police sirens, she didn't have to wonder why.
Oh, come on! My very first toe out of line and I'm going to get arrested? How is that even close to fair?
There was moment of pause in which everything seemed to suspend… and then all hell broke out. Everyone started running at once, people pushed and pulled, yelled. It was like falling in the middle of a chaotic dream you could not stop. Like looking at the world from a moving carousel. The roars of cars and bikes came to life and scattered without turning on their headlight. That was when Anya started worrying more about not being trampled then about being arrested.
And she was worried about Alicia.
It was her that Anya went looking for, going against the crowd at where she had seen Alicia last. The confusion was insane. The faster people tried to move, the slower everything seemed to become. It was as if the chaos slowed things down.
The police cars blocked both ways of the street and troopers started coming out. When she saw the men in uniform was the moment when Anya panicked.
The police was there one moment and the next the officers were everywhere, jumping on everyone they could get their hands on and slapping handcuffs in place. Anya felt her heart in her throat. She stuck to the shadows, moving slowly and silently as to not attract attention, willed her breathing and heart rate to slow, made her eyes look. Search for her friend.
Anya saw both of them almost at the same time.
She saw Alicia at the edges of the crowd, almost hidden in the shadows of the alley as they ran with Cleo and the other girls. Potter was with them and his friends were too. Potter turned his head back to scan the scattering crowd, looking terribly distressed and even a little angry. Anya followed his eyes – and saw him.
A policemen had him against the hood of a car and was in the process of snapping handcuffs on him. All the while Back had that arrogant smirk plastered all over his face and kept talking. Anya had no idea what he was saying, but from the furrowing brow and sneer that came over the officer, she knew it was nothing good. The policemen slapped Black against the car violently and then just as gracelessly dragged him into the back seat of his service car.
Anya had no pity for Black as she watched the scene. The triumphant smirk on his face made her despise him. And even when the policemen turned his back, the expression did not slip off. It was no pretence. He was all defiance and harsh arrogance, till the end. He did not care. Anya reckoned he was even proud to break the rules, as if it was some sort of personal achievement.
She snorted, made herself look away and try to figure out how to reach Alicia, when something strange happened. Something that should not have happened, not here, in a the middle of a panicked, hysterical crowd of muggles.
The police car shook violently, as if it had been hit with an invisible hammer. There was such chaos around, nobody noticed it but the people who had been already looking.
Anya stopped breathing, eyes wide, unable to look away even if she'd wanted to.
She felt her heart stutter in her chest.
Anya could see nothing else, nothing but the way Black snapped to attention, then way he frantically tried to get himself free. His alarm, alarmed her in turn. The car shook again and this time it was more violent. He hit his head against the glass window so hard that the glass seemed to crack a little. Anya's breath froze in her lungs.
He was cuffed, locked in, helpless.
And there was magic at play here. Someone was doing something nasty from the sidelines.
This was all a bad joke, Anya thought irritably. A stupid, sadistic joke that the universe had perverted out of its farthest, nastiest rear-end – and it had done so specifically with Anya in mind, for some malicious reason…
But all these scattered thoughts were just fractions, because Anya was already moving. Swiftly, silently, without giving herself the chance to even form half a reasonable thought – because she knew that if she did that, she would talk herself out of this madness in the blink of an eye. So she stuck to the shadows, didn't get out of the corners as she ran. She was close enough to unlock the car's door within 4 seconds. Maybe it had been her nerves, maybe because her heart was beating wildly, but her spell was a little more out of control than usual: the door almost ripped out of its hinges because if it.
That happened almost at the same time as the car shook again, so violently this time that Anya took a staggering step backwards.
What was he doing, why wasn't he getting out?
Her heart was in her throat, her hands were shaking so she tightened her fingers around her wand. All the rest of the world had disappeared, she didn't even hear the screaming and shouting from all around her anymore. She was too scared to get closer, she could feel the heat of the magical residue the car has been hit with – with tinkled the skin of her legs.
Just as she was about to scream for him to get the hell out, Black slipped out the door, and almost fell face-first on the ground when the car shook again. The open door would have crashed on him, or god only knew what else could have happened – if Anya hadn't grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away at the last second.
She didn't wait for the next breath before unlocking his cuffs while she was still capable of remembering how. The reverberations of her careless spell cut his skin a little, making him bleed, but he didn't even seem to notice.
There was a gash on his forehead. Anya almost passed out at the sight of all that blood coating the side of his face.
Next thing Anya knew that was he'd grabbed her elbow and without another word hauled her into a run but before they had gone so much as five feet, Anya heard the bloodcurdling sound of metal against metal. She turned and saw the strangest and scariest thing she had ever seen: the vehicle bounced in the air as if kicked on the side by some invisible force (Anya could feel the heat of the spell even where she was standing, the violence of it prickled her skin), spun and landed hard and upside down with a terrible noise of crunching metal and glass… just a few yards away from them.
Anya only saw a little part of this, because for god knows what reason, Black had pushed her to the ground and almost fallen on top of her. Anya landed on her elbows hard and the ricocheting pain made her feel like she'd dislocated both shoulders. The burning sensation went from her elbows straight to her head and she knew that she'd just lost a lot of skin because of that fall. She felt something sting her legs, but it wasn't so bad. Her elbows hurt more…
Still, after two second, she dared look at in the car's direction, and felt lucky. Better to have skinned elbows and a couple of scratches than to be powdered under the police car that had managed to land upside down. If Black had been inside that thing, he'd have had some serious damage…
"Did you hit your head? Hey, answer me! Did you…"
Her response was automatic. "No. No I …"
"Ow shit…" He was looking at her elbows and then to the bleeding scratches on her thighs, the frown on his face making him look menacing. The tinge of fear in her flickered more insistently and Anya wished he was anyone but himself. This would have been so much easier if he hadn't been Sirius Black, if she didn't fear him quite so much.
"I'm sorry you're hurt, but we have to move. Come one, get up." But he didn't give her a chance to since he practically lifted her on her feet himself. Anya didn't see much of her surroundings, the burn of her elbows was distracting her, the sounds around her just a fuzz in her ears. God, it hurt so badly, she could hardly believe it… But she ran when she was told, stayed down when she saw him do the same even though at every move the scratches on her thigh burned.
They hid between cars until they were in a dark alley. His grip on her arm was slippery and it wasn't until she could stop moving and take a full breath that Anya notice the blood that was coating forearms. Her jacket had ripped at the elbows and the blood was soaking it through, tricking down from the tips of her fingers.
That sight of it scared her more than the whole evening put together.
"Do you still have your wand?" his voice was terse, his breathing harsh but not irregular. Anya felt as if her lungs were on fire. The numbness of her right hand finally made sense. Her knuckles were white – she had been holding on to that piece of wood that tightly.
"Good. Hold on to me, I'm going to Dissaparate back to my bike…"
"Anya!"
Alicia's urgent voice cut through Black's command. Alicia herself followed and she slammed into Anya, wrapping her arms around her and holding on tight. Anya tried to keep her wince to herself as best as she could.
"Oh god, I was so worried. And when I saw you dashing for the car, I almost fainted. Are you… Holy fuck, you're bleeding!"
"I'm ok. I'm fine. We have to go." Anya managed to say and saw Alicia nod vigorously.
"Where is everyone?" Black asked, making himself known again. Anya looked at Black when he spoke. His face was unreadable, blank, his stare cold and his mouth set in a harsh expression. Cold fury burned behind his eyes, so strong that she felt she needed to put more space between them.
For the first time, Anya managed to wrap her head around the last 2 minutes of her life and what had happened during them. They were a blur in her memory, of fear, adrenaline and screams. Of a lot of noise and too little thinking. Now that she looked back, she was more afraid of herself, of her impulses, than she had been the whole time during which everything happened. Now she knew something she had not known before: she was capable of impressive depths of stupidity. In fact she was appalled at how blatantly she had disregarder herself. How foolish she had been…
The fear of herself, of her actions was translating now into shivers.
Dangerous…
That word just kept ricocheting through her brain.
"Remus and Peter are driving the girls home. James stayed behind with me, but I don't know where…" Alicia hadn't finished her sentence when Potter appeared at Black's side, a grim smile on his face that left his eyes untouched.
"Hey mate. You alright?"
"Yeah. Just a scratch." Black murmured, whipping the blood from his brow carelessly. He then turned his head to look at Anya. She had not been expecting his eyes to find hers and involuntarily had the urge to look away. She didn't even hold his eyes for two seconds, but it was enough to see the coldness of him through them. It flickered when he looked at her, but never quite faded out.
He seemed as if he was made of ice and hatred and nothing more.
What had happened with the police car had really shaken him. Or really angered him - Anya wasn't sure which.
"She got to you before I did." Potter said warmly, and smiled in Anya's direction.
"Yup, she sure did. Thanks by the way." Black said, smirking at her, the blankness of his expression fading into something else just as unreadable.
"Sirius Black. This is James Potter." He said as he extended his hand to her. Anya did her best not to wince as she did the same. "I wouldn't say you saved my life, but you definitely did save at least two or three decades of it."
She managed a shaky smile, trying to push the panic down, trying to subdue her frantic heartbeat.
"You're welcome. I just hope I never have to do it again."
This time, his smirk touched his eyes, a little tinge of amusement warmed them. "I'm right with you on that one. How about you let me look at those elbows – I'm good with gashes." He assured her and this time, his eyes were not cold at all. It was as if they belonged to someone else.
The sight of blood probably pulled at his conscience… assuming he had one.
"She has to go to the hospital."
"It's just skinned elbows Ali, it's not so bad. And we should wait until the police clears out before we move." Anya heard herself say. She was feeling so disconnected she had no idea how her lips managed to move.
"What? Why?"
"Because I don't much fancy ending up in jail and because someone just tried to make an omelette out of Black here - and that someone might still be out there, so I suggest we lay low for a while." Anya snapped, realizing only as she spoke the words that they were absolutely true and had been on her mind for a while as well. Neither of the boys contradicted her and that was as good as a confirmations as she was going to get.
Alicia looked like she was trying very hard to find a loophole to that logic, but in the end she just opted for a deep frown.
"Fine. Anya, let me see those elbows." she said, turning to her friend with eyes full of concern. When Anya did as she was told and Alicia got a good look at those elbows, she paled a little, her throat tightening.
"Ok, this is worse than it looks, we need to get you to St Mungos." Alicia said, not minding for once that her voice came out so breathless. Damn that was a lot of blood! She had been an intern at St Mungos twice and she knew enough about wounds to know that his one was sure to be trouble if not treated at once.
Anya was shaking her head before the thought even fully registered. She despised hospitals and was afraid of them even more.
"It'll be fine, it just needs some dressing."
Alicia frowned. "Don't be stubborn, I'm can't let you bleed to death on me. Your mother and mine would take turns at skinning me alive."
"Let me look at that…" Black murmured and reached for Anya's forearm, taking hold of her gently and making her turn so that he could see the wound better. He didn't even change breathing patterns at the sight of her blood and Anya admired that. She had been struggling to keep her head cool ever since she realized that she was bleeding.
The mere thought of being hurt that badly gave her shivers.
"Do you have any idea what you're doing Black?" Alicia snapped at him, trying to keep her voice down. She was way more qualified than him to treat a wound, and she was about to tell him so, until she saw the movement of his wand over Anya's torn skin, and the way that skin started to knit itself back together - slowly but steadily.
Ok, so the boy knew his way around gashes, so what?
Anya breathe a sigh of relief. The hot burning in her elbows started to calm down to a manageable level. She didn't dare look yet, but the pain was not so bad.
"That should hold you for now." Black said as he cleaned the blood off her forearms with what was left of her jacket. He sounded neutral enough, but his that promise of violence that had been so burning in his eyes moments ago was barely veiled by his control. He still hadn't let go of his anger…
"Thanks. That feels better." Anya said as she took the cloth from him and finished cleaning up herself. At least now it didn't fell like hell to simply move. The pain was down to a dull ache and the bleeding had stopped almost entirely.
"You still do need to get it checked out. I'm no professional Healer. Now for your leg…"
"That's fine, it's just a couple of scratches. I'll clean them up once I get home." Anya hurried to explain. She didn't want him to come that close to her.
"You sure?" He asked, looking at her right thigh with a small frown. Anya nodded. She was more than just sure, she was positive.
"It looks clean enough, but you should check for pieces of glass anyway, just to be sure." Black added as if absentmindedly as he took out a cigarette and stuck it between his lips. Anya was taken aback for a second – she didn't know he smoked…
"Since when are you so proficient in healing Black?" Alicia asked and thought her tone was not devoid of challenge, the usual bite was not there.
"The things you don't know about me could fill the Pacific, McKenzie." He shot back. He was tamer than usual, but the dismissive coldness of his manner made up of the lack of bite in his tone. Alicia snorted. Then she decided that she'd had enough of Black's jabs and tried for Potter. She had a whole other bone to pick with him.
"Did you catch the one that as tampering with that car?" Alicia enquired and Anya realized that she did not want to be here for this conversation. She did not want to head these things. She wanted to go home!
"No."
"Did you at least see who it was?"
Potter hesitated before answering. "No. It was too dark."
But Alicia was practically a living bullshit detector – being brought up by two people who basically lied for a living had its advantages – so she could smell a lie before Potter even realized he'd decided he was going to tell one. She narrowed her eyes at him, disbelief pouring out of her ever pore.
Anya wasn't so observant as her friend, but she did notice the look that Potter and Black exchanged. Just like that, with one simple look, an entire conversation seemed to pass between them.
Alicia got the hint: they weren't going to talk about it.
"Fine, be that way. But just in case you forgot, my friend almost got flattened herself trying to get your ass out of that car, so she has the right to know who the hell was crazy enough to pull that kinda shit in the middle of a muggle crowd." She bit out.
"I don't hear her demanding answers." Black pointed out calmly, even al little surprised as he looked over from Alicia and straight into Anya's eyes.
Anya didn't say anything for a moment or two. She felt the weight of three pairs on eyes on her.
"I don't wanna know." She finally said, surprising all three of them. She meant every word and it was the heaviness that each of them carries that silenced the other three for a few moments. The gravity in Anya's tone seemed to bring into sharper focus that fact that this was not the usual prank. Sirius didn't want to admit it, but he was reluctant to think about what could have happened to him if he hadn't gotten out in time.
He tried to be still and not think about it, about the 'who' and the 'why' and the 'how'. None of it was going to get him anywhere… but it was impossible to keep his mind from preying on itself. If he didn't do something, he was bound to start clawing at himself the way Moony did when he had no company on full moons.
"You never told me your name."
Anya looked up. He was almost in front of her, leaning against the other wall of the alley and since it as pretty narrow, he was pretty close… and looking at her right in the eyes. She swallowed, thinking of a way to evade answering, then not finding one and surrendering.
"Anastasia. I think it's safe to get out now."
In fact, it was almost quiet. The night had finally settled into itself and for the first time, Anya felt that she could breathe again. But the walls were still closing in. She didn't like the narrow alley, it brought everything closer. Brought closer his inquisitive eyes that looked over at her in a frank and unapologetic way, as if he had a god give right to pry his way into anything he liked, just because he could.
"You're right." Potter said as he pushed off the wall. "Ok, Alicia I know you can Disapparate, what about you?" Potter asked looking at Anya. She simply nodded.
"She's in no shape to do it herself and Side-Along is still too dangerous. You'll both get hurt if you try." Black said flatly. Anya narrowed her eyes at him, her mouth tightening. The last nerve that was still intact in her snapped: how was it possible for him to sound so assured - as if it would be impossible for him to be wrong, and so dismissive at the same time - as if he couldn't care less if tried?
Arrogant bastard!
When Black noticed her look, he simply raised an eyebrow, as if he was silently asking 'what?'
Anya straightened her spine.
"I'm perfectly fine, thank you. Nothing hurts and even if something did, I know my own limits." She said coldly – and watched Black shrug nonchalantly, a flicked of amusement dancing in his eyes. How could he just stand there, saying nothing, but with that look in his eyes as if he was laughing at everything she was saying?
That took some practice… and serious issues.
"Ali, can I sleep over tonight, I don't want my mum to freak over this." Anya pointed at her elbows.
Alicia didn't need persuasion. "You got it. Come on, hold on to me and visualise that spot under the cherry tree we always sit on."
"Got it."
"You guys should go ahead. We'll give you a five minute head start so the noise doesn't attract any unwanted attention."
Potter nodded and gave both of them a genuine smile, even though his eyes were still weary with all the things he had not said.
"Thank you. Goodnight girls, keep safe."
"You too James. Black." Alicia's words to Potter were as warm as her salute to Black was curt.
"Nighty-night McKenzie. Goodnight No-Surname Anastasia." He smirked at he looked at her over his shoulder, his face full of mischievousness. "Maybe I'm going to call you my Guardian Angel from now on."
Anya raised an eyebrow, practically radiating the irony she felt.
"Your 'Guardian Angel'? Really? Where do you think you are, in a John Hugens movie?" She deadpanned - which surprisingly enough, made him laugh.
That was when Anya realized that no matter what people said about him, Sirius Black didn't take himself seriously at all.
"God no, I'm more of a horror fan myself." He said as the laughter still danced in his eyes. And all of a sudden, his expression went from playful to intent on her, so fixed and still that Anya frowned and crossed her hands over her chest, and unconscious defensive gesture.
"I know it's rude to ask, but I don't give a damn. Why did you stick your neck out for me?"
And his posture might have been casual, but all that was locked behind his eyes wasn't. His voice was not as harsh as it had been before, and this time he cared because he wanted an answer…
But this was the time he was not going to get one.
Anya angled her head trying to keep her best poker face on. "Would you rather I'd left you there?"
His smile spoke of someone who easily got the hint. He wouldn't push her. Maybe he didn't really care enough to do so. "Nope. Doesn't matter anyway; I owe you one. And I always pay my debts. Goodnight."
Then they were both gone… and Anya was left there with Alicia staring at the back of her head. Anya could literally feel her friend's questions burning the nape of her neck.
"You want to know too, don't you?" Anya stated.
"You bet your ass I do. I thought you hated the guy!"
Anya sighed and turned to her friend, thought back at those panicked moments when the crowd had exploded, everyone trying to escape in all directions. Thought back at the panic of not being able to find Alicia in it.
Anya shrugged and looked at her friend right in the eye. "I'm not his biggest fan, no, but still… What would you have done?"
Alicia held Anya's gaze for a minute, and then rolled her eyes, letting it drop. And Anya was glad that her friend had been satisfied, that Ali hadn't caught her lie.
It was true that Alicia would have jumped the fire for a friend, that was who she was. She was selfless and so very brave; reckless and strong. But Anya was not like that. She'd never had that kind of courage, she was not that strong and she was certainly not reckless. Anya did not act on impulses, she wanted precise choreographies. Anya wouldn't sacrifice herself like that for someone else, it was not in her nature.
What had happened tonight, had happened for entirely selfish reasons and Anya was well aware of that.
But no one else needed to be.
