Once again, I do not own The Outsiders. All characters used are borrowed with respect to S.E. Hinton. Thanks to those who've taken a minute out to R&R.


4

The court hearing didn't go like I had expected. After meeting with our regular social worker Mrs. Richards, I was confident everything would go smoothly, and we could get life back to normal.

I knew it was going to take time to get over losing both Johnny and Dallas, but I wasn't prepared to lose my brother on top of that.

Pony had just seen his best friend die in a hospital bed, then another friend shot down in the street by the police when he passed out unconscious and ended up in the hospital himself. Luckily Soda and I could bring him home after a day and a half even though he'd ended up with a concussion after getting a kick to the head during a rumble with the socs the night Johnny and Dally died.

It felt like too much was happening all at once and I couldn't get a handle on things by the time we were in court in front of a judge telling us it would be in Pony's best interest for the State to take custody. To say it was unexpected would be an exaggeration. In the days leading up to our time in court, I had Mrs. Richards assuring me that the court hearing was just a formality and Pony was in little danger of being apprehended by the State.

There was no time to prepare; no chance to talk to Pony after the judge had asked him his questions. They'd already arranged a place for him to stay before the hearing was even over. It didn't even matter that Pony had told them I was a good guardian and that he was happy at home. Once the judge asked Soda and I about our association with Dallas Winston, Ponyboy was already gone. I'd never trust the State again; it was the most meticulous play of deception I'd seen. I'd been fooled in thinking they wanted to help keep us together. I was wrong.

Sodapop didn't say anything on the ride home from the courthouse; he didn't even shed a tear. He stared blankly out his window; his jaw clenched and his knuckles were white at his side. I guess there wasn't anything to say. Our world was crumbling down around us.

Soda jumped out of the truck before I even had it in park. I sat numbly in the truck and watched as he stormed into the house. I didn't know if he blamed me; if he was mad at me or just mad at the world but I understood his anger. I understood the anger that was inside of him, but at that moment I was too tired to fight. I was too tired of fighting and having it not make one goddamned shred of difference.

I eased my way out of the cab of the truck when Steve pulled up in the drive. I barely noticed Two-Bit standing in front of me when I'd neared the steps up to the porch. Once again, there wasn't much to say; I suppose the look on my face said it all as I looked into Two-Bit's eyes and shook my head.

"Jesus Christ," he swore under his breath and we both looked over at Steve.

"Soda's gonna need you," I nodded at Steve. "Now more than ever. If you can keep him outta trouble, I'd appreciate it."

"I dunno what to say, Darry. What the fuck happened?"

"I wish I knew, Steve. I wish I knew."

"So, what now?" Two-Bit asked as a grey car slowly came to a stop at the sidewalk in front of the house.

I shrugged my shoulders as we watched Mrs. Richards slowly and cautiously get out of her car. I shook my head and scoffed as I slowly made my way inside of the house. Soda was nowhere to be seen; I assumed he was behind the closed door of his and Pony's bedroom. There was a slight throb starting at my forehead, and I knew it was going to grow into a doozy.

The boys were quiet as they came in the house, but there was nothing quiet about them slamming the door on our social worker. Normally, I wouldn't stand for them being assholes like that, but now my only regret was that I wasn't the one to slam the door. Soon afterward there was a light knocking, and the pounding in my head started to increase.

"Wonder who that could be?" Two-Bit asked and had the audacity to look clueless as I rolled my eyes at him and headed for the door.

It slammed against the wall as I threw it open and stared coldly at Mrs. Richards through the screen door. She looked up at me nervously, and rightfully so. She was the last face on the planet I wanted to be looking at right then. She was a liar and betrayed my family and my trust. I'd known guys whose parents didn't teach them how to be gentlemen; thought nothing about raising a hand to a woman. As much as I thought it'd be justified, I couldn't bring myself to do it even if I did want to.

"Darrel," she said nervously as she clutched tightly to her purse.

"I can't even imagine why you're here," I looked down at her and felt a small sense of satisfaction to know she was squirming at the doorstep.

"Look, Darrel. I know you don't want to see me right now, but you have to…"

"Have to?" I didn't even let her finish her sentence. "I don't have to do a damned thing where you're concerned, lady."

"I know you're angry with me Darrell, but I only want what's best for Ponyboy."

"And according to you, that's not me and Soda. You think he's better off in a boy's home or some foster home with strangers than being with his family."

"That's not what I think Darrel. I tried…"

"STOP LYING TO ME, LADY!" I yelled and left her standing at the door while I stormed through the living room and went into the kitchen.

I wasn't used to the feeling of losing control; control of my family and most of all control of myself. I had a reputation of remaining calm and grounded, but it was my brothers that kept me grounded. Soda and Ponyboy gave my life purpose and focus, the focus being staying together. With Pony gone I suddenly felt scared and I never allowed that feeling to creep in before. What if I couldn't get him back? They were both depending on me.

I grabbed my dirty coffee cup from beside the sink and thought about the last cup I'd drank that morning when I was confident everything was going to be okay. My greatest challenge was going to help my baby brother through the loss of our friends, but I knew he'd be okay because we'd all heal together. How was he supposed to get better while surrounded by strangers? I suddenly couldn't think. I whipped around and the mug hit the wall next to the back door, exploding against the peeling paint.

I didn't realize I'd been followed into the kitchen by both Two-Bit and Steve, and Mrs. Richards who gasped out loud as my coffee cup met its demise. I let out a sigh, and turned toward the counter.

"Darry?" I turned to look as Soda rushed in. His eyes were bloodshot, no doubt he'd been crying in privacy of his room.

He noticed Mrs. Richards, and I wasn't sure if it was a look of devastation or rage on his face. Steve seemed to sense it as well, he planted a firm hand on his shoulder to hold him back from whatever it was he was going to do.

"What do you want?" Soda choked.

"I'm so sorry, I know my being here is upsetting. I know you don't believe me, and I don't blame you. I just want you to know that I think the Judge made the wrong decision."

"You do?" Soda sniffed.

"I spoke with him before the hearing. I told him that…"

"I can't do this," I announced as my head felt like it was going to implode. "I can't do this."

"I came for a few of Ponyboy's things. I realize this is hard, but he'll need clothes, his school books, etcetera."

I couldn't move. I just stared blankly out the window while Sodapop turned back and headed towards the bedroom. Mrs. Richards didn't try to talk again, and for that I was grateful. It didn't matter to me if she was on our side, because it made no difference. The State still took him; they could do whatever they wanted to us. Just like the cops could shoot whoever they wanted. Sure, it wasn't a surprise the way Dally died, but that didn't make it right.

"Here's his book bag," I heard Soda as he re-entered the kitchen with Pony's things to surrender.

"Thank you, Soda," Mrs. Richards replied quietly.

"You need a bag for his clothes, Sodapop?" Two-Bit's voice sounded far away as I blocked out what was happening.

There were doors opening and closing and muddled voices speaking. I stared at an old oak tree in the backyard where we used to have a swing made from an old tire. I remembered when dad strung that thing up and Soda, Pony, and myself would take turns spinning each other around. I remembered the time Soda and I had the tire spinning so fast, poor Pony threw up after. I remembered how he wasn't mad at us for that, he just laughed and begged us to let him get back on the swing.

"You remember that swing we used to have years ago?" I knew that Soda was behind me. I could feel the energy in the room shift whenever he walked in.

"Yeah, that old tire dad traded his tools for with Mr. Jenkins?"

I nodded. "What do you say we make another one when Pony comes back home?"

"You…you still think he'll come back?" Soda stood beside me and looked out at the old tree.

"I'm not gonna stop until he does, little buddy."

It was quiet for a moment while we both stood there thinking about the past. Soda edged closer to me and I looked at him while he grabbed for my hand.

"I love you, Darry."

"I love you too, Soda. I love you too."