ENEMY OF MY ENEMY
[Disclaimer: You've heard it all before. The sad but true facts of the case are that I don't own the Titans and DC does. Woe is me.]
Chapter Four - Knowing
Damn, I hate it when I get all lazy and complacent. Skipped two whole days on this record-my-thoughts deal. Not that a hell of a lot happened, but it's the principle of the thing, ya know?
I gotta see if Stone will let me paint this room, once I get settled in. Gray and beige, ya might say, ain't my thing. That's assuming, of course, that I'm alive in a couple weeks. Jury's still out on that one.
Most of my junk is still packed up. Boxes, a few mismatched suitcases. Don't really have all that much. Guess constant travel will do that for a body. I keep all my important stuff in my special bag anyhow, and it's nowhere near full yet.
Raven is being totally distant. I haven't decided yet whether that's better than terminally bitchy, or just different. It's certainly quieter. But if she isn't talking to me at all, there's no communication taking place, and that isn't gonna cut it.
Oh, yeah, one sorta-kinda-big thing did happen. I cast the Bones last night to see if I could get a bead on this Neron thing, and hit what might be a decent vein of ore, info-wise. If I didn't miss the reading by a time zone, I think his pet sorcerer is gonna try a summoning on the next new moon. That gives me a whopping eight days to get everything else together, convince Rae to help me, find Dorno, toss a monkey wrench in his plans, and (hopefully) kill him. If I – that is, if we – can keep Neron from accessing this dimension directly, I'm gonna call it a win. Mainly 'cause, more than likely, I'll be alive. Otherwise, I'll have to use Mister Twister, and … well, maybe I won't have to. Never can tell, right?
I hope Rae might be up to lookin' into that memory problem today. It's funny. Not in a ha-ha way, but … some of the things she said … actually, more the way she said them … I think she might have what really happened totally ass-backwards. Here's hopin' we can get it all straightened out.
Oh, hey, Beast Bum got back last night. I really shouldn't call him that anymore, now that I think of it. He's lookin' pretty good these days. Guess you can't hang around Nightwing very long and not get trained up. He's taller'n I am now, too. Good bit taller. Boy hasn't missed too many meals. Anyway, after gettin' over the shock of me bein' here, he got right chummy. We had a few laughs over some of the battles we used to fight. Nightwing didn't seem too amused, though.
Speaking of Garfield (he hates it when I call him that, 'specially if I purr it) if I want some breakfast I better get on up to the kitchen. Later.
####
Raven hovered, motionless, above her bed. Her breathing was regular, slow, and deep. Every fifth breath she would murmur her mantra, just barely audible. This was how she had learned to come down from the experience every time she examined the recently-unearthed memories. It was most necessary, and usually took at least an hour, more often two, before she considered her emotions sufficiently controlled.
She and Jinx had been … what? Not lovers, exactly; not physically at any rate – as far as she knew, which might not be all that far. Smitten, certainly. Close. In a durable relationship. This was an entire facet of her character that the thief had somehow managed to sweep under a psychic rug, and try as she might, Raven couldn't trace out any way that she could have done it. Jinx simply didn't have the gifts it took to pull it off, even now. She'd become a very formidable wielder of magic in the last three years, but she was a witch, not a sorceress, and the Craft, at its heart, was just not about mind-control. Raven had managed to glean quite a bit of information from the voluble girl over the last couple of days, by leading the conversation and then distracting her from the real question. The details only left her more confused.
Nor was that all. With the return of the memories came the feelings that sparked them to life. She had loved Jinx. Jinx had loved her. At this point she didn't know how Jinx felt, but Raven was having a lot of trouble keeping the pink-eyed feline out of her thoughts. She would find herself dwelling on the subtle curve of Jinx's lips, or the slender outline of her ear and the way it nestled against her candy-floss hair, or the slight, athletic flare of her hips that the form-fitting jeans emphasized so easily. The girl really was quite fetching, and that was a serious and growing problem.
It was a problem because Raven also despised Jinx for what she'd lost. How could she have done it? Not the technical end … no, what Raven could not understand was how Jinx could have had the temerity, the low-hanging-solid-steel balls to think that she could do that to the empath and not face any sort of consequence. How could she have stolen something so precious from the one she loved? It made no sense!
The dichotomy was driving Raven not-so-slowly mad. Grimly, she came around finally to the conclusion that she was going to have to lay her cards on the table with her pink-haired (well, currently-blond, but you get the idea) nemesis. And there was really only one truly effective way to do that. The trouble with the method involved was that it might pose a threat to Jinx's sanity. Not that Raven cared whether she went off the deep end (she insisted to herself).
But the empath had to know. She had to know what else was missing, get it back, and place it in the proper context. She had to know how Jinx had accomplished the feat. But more than these, she felt that a lot of her turmoil could be cleared up if she only knew why. Why had Jinx done that to her? What had she done (or possibly, what had they done) that was so horrible that it needed to be purged from memory? The question gnawed at her, frightened her, almost as much as the unreasoning resentment she felt over having been saved by the odd girl. Again.
One of the abilities that Raven had cultivated in the last few years concerned distance control over her empathic field. On one end of the spectrum, she could now 'tune in' on anyone that fell within her line of sight, even across the bay. On the other, she could draw in her awareness until it was quite local, involving only her rooms and the corridor immediately without her door. That was her default state when she was cloistered, meditating. So she picked up on it instantly when someone showed up just outside.
####
Jinx grinned madly as she worked the controls. "Give it up, Gar-flop!"
"Why … should I?" Gar Logan grimaced, the rest of the world completely excluded as he piloted his virtual speed boat around yet another obstacle.
"You'll never catch me!"
"We'll see … about … that!" They came to a short straight stretch in the river, and both of the sleek watercraft gunned it. Gradually, Gar's dark green boat gained on the wildly-patterned pink thing that led the race. He grinned as they approached the next turn, a tricky ox-bow sort of thing that ate into an overhanging cliff face. A possible out had occurred to his agile mind. Just as they were about to enter the bend, he thumbed the sound knob suddenly up to the maximum volume. They had been playing the game with it down low because Nightwing was reading the paper in the kitchen. This altogether unexpected event startled Jinx, and she flinched badly. Her boat veered suddenly to the left, and it took every bit of skill she had to keep from wiping out on the rocks. Gar zoomed past her with a whoop.
"Turn that blasted thing down!" Nightwing roared.
"Sure!" answered his teammate, quickly muting the game while Jinx cursed and fought with the boat to get it back out into the watercourse. But as she was backing into the current, an eddy caught her and fetched her around sharply onto the limbs of a dead tree sticking out of the water. It fouled her propeller, and the motor stalled.
"Damn it!" She tossed the control aside and flopped back against the sofa.
"Hot dog! I win again!"
"Jerk."
"Hey, I didn't cheat."
"Jerk-wad."
"Sticks and stones …"
"Double jerkwad with a side of asshole."
"Hey, if you can't take a little distraction …" The controller he held suddenly shorted out, sparks popping out and singing one of his fingers. He dropped it with a yelp and turned an accusing glare Jinx's way.
"Um … oops?"
"You owe me another control."
"What? You were holding it. I don't see how that makes it any of my …"
Nightwing's face interposed between the two. "Do. You. Mind?"
They both had the good grace to look sheepish, mumbling, "Sorry."
His mouth in a thin line, he glanced back and forth between them a time or two and then said, "I need to borrow your brain for a minute, Gar."
Jinx grinned. "You'll have to figure out who he loaned it to and go ask them."
Gar huffed, "Oh, you're a riot, you are." But he got up and followed Nightwing over to the monitors.
Leaning her head back onto the (nice, soft, cushy, way-better-than-anything-I-ever-had-before) sofa cushion, the pink eyes closed as Jinx took a deep breath and slowly let it out. She glanced at her watch and nodded. Yeah, I guess I can have another whack at getting Emo Girl to talk to me.
Executing a flawless reverse kip off the cushion, she landed behind the sofa and fell immediately into a series of handsprings across the common room, putting an additional twist into the last one so that she touched down facing the door. She sauntered on through it, ignoring Nightwing's dark glare and Gar's slack-jawed admiration. The green shifter turned to the other hero and said, "Whoa."
The glare skewing around his way, Gar eased back just a hair under Nightwing's irritation. "Dude! What set you off?"
"I don't like it. It's a bit too pat to be plausible."
"… Too pat? Oh, really? Which part? The part where she saved Raven's life – and probably Star's – or the part where she gave you a legendary artifact so you could whoop some major gangbanger ass?"
The dark countenance paled slightly. Nightwing dropped his gaze. "You just got back. You weren't there."
"No, I wasn't. But Star and Vic gave me a mighty detailed play-by-play. That wasn't something Jinx could have set up. Why do you think she'd be involved?"
"Okay, your point. And I don't really think she was involved with the attack. I just think her timing, showing up here in Jump just when the whole city is about to devolve into gang war, is no coincidence."
Garfield Logan just shrugged. "I say we ought to take what we can get. There's an open spot with Terra gone east. God knows we can use the help."
"She hasn't offered to help us, Gar. She wants Raven to help her. That's probably the only reason she saved her."
"… the hell?"
Out in the hall, the subject of their conversation approached Raven's door, slowing somewhat as she got close. She assumed the empath would know she was there, so she didn't knock, simply waiting outside with an expectant cast to her mind.
####
Raven picked up on the approaching presence, and shifted her focus.
Jinx. Again.
Very well. This time Raven had some questions for her! The door slid silently open, nudged along by the softly glowing black nimbus. Jinx followed it with her eyes, sighed, and stepped in. She spotted the floating girl and said, "We need to talk."
"Oh, goddess, how clichéd can you get?"
"Pretty damn clichéd, from the looks of things." She used a hand to indicate the room. "Do you want me to enter the lair, or should we go somewhere else?"
"No, no, come on in." She patted the bed. "Have a seat."
Raven's tone and body language were at total odds. One of Jinx's eyebrows climbed a bit, but she walked over without hesitation and plopped down onto the duvet. "Looks like you've got a bee in your bonnet. That mean you don't wanna talk about Neron?"
"Perceptive. No, not just yet. I want to talk about you first."
"Me, huh? That don't sound good."
"Doesn't, Jinx, that doesn't sound good. Please do me the favor of not massacring the language."
"You do have a broomstick up your ass today, dontcha?"
With some effort, Raven reined in her urge to strangle the slim neck. "What I have, Miss Morrison, is …"
"The fuck? How'd you find out my name?"
Raven stared at her, expression unreadable. "Practically any piece of information about an individual can be gleaned with enough research. You should know that, if your story about Velez-al'Aziz has any validity."
"I don't like that name, Rae. There are several very compelling reasons for me never to use it again. If you went to all the trouble of digging it up, you can't possibly be unaware of why I don't use it, so for you to call me … to even say … that's just … insulting. Jennifer Morrison doesn't exist."
"A manifest untruth, as Jennifer Morrison is sitting right here."
"Don't push it, Rae. Just because I can do this a hell of a lot easier with your help doesn't mean I won't try it solo if you decide to pull the Hellbitch routine on me."
"That's entirely up to you. Having you leave would simplify my life tremendously. If, however, this project is that important to you, you might just consider returning the favor, Jinx. And my name is Raven. Not Rae. And not any other cutesy, little, disgusting nickname you dream up either."
The thief pulled a long, ragged sigh and stood, wiping briefly at her eyes. "I beg your pardon. This was obviously a premature effort. I'm going back to my room now. If you feel like talking later, let me know. I'll try to be civil, if you'll try to keep the demon-spawn bullshit to a minimum. But I can't wait forever. In fact, I can't wait even a few days. So, if we don't start to work together by … let's say Friday. Yeah, that'll give you a couple days. If we can't work together on this thing by Friday, I'm outta here. And if I fuck it up, Neron'll come lookin' for you, and don't come cryin' to me when he does, because I'll be dead." And she spun on her heel and stalked to the door.
The portal, however, didn't open. She frowned, hit the touch-pad, hit it harder, noticed the black mist outlining it, and then turned back to Raven. "Well?"
"I … apologize for bringing up your background."
"Do you, now?"
"I do. That was … spiteful. And I should be above that." Her frown deepened. "Even if you did betray my trust and lie to me and cheat me out of a bunch of memories and …"
"Will you just fucking stop it?"
The vehemence of Jinx's outburst startled Raven, who promptly fell to the bed and bounced a little. She recovered quickly. "And why should I? This is important, Jinx. A personality is made of memories. If some of those are missing, a piece of the personality is gone." She tapped her head. "A piece of me is missing, as you know, and right now I don't have any idea how big that piece is, or what I don't know."
Jinx gave her a level – if somewhat shimmering – glare for several seconds; then she walked back over to the bed. Raven was sitting near the edge, and had drawn one leg up to her chest and wrapped her arms around it. She leaned back slightly when Jinx leaned toward her, cutting the distance between them to mere centimeters. Teeth gritted, her pupils narrowed to slits, Jinx stated, "You know, you're right. You don't have all of your memories. You don't have the whole story. Not by a damn sight I can tell. And I'd like to fix that. But you keep pushing me away and insulting me and not listening to one fucking thing I say, and I Am Tired Of It." She moved a little closer, causing Raven to scoot backwards in alarm, but then Jinx sort of launched herself, knocking Raven over onto her back, and leaving the thief in a looming position over her, hands planted on either side of Raven's head.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"You're the demigod-class empath. You tell me."
The emotional storm Jinx gave off was already beating hard at her mind shield; couple that with the wildly shifting array of expressions that took turns molding her face, and it became pellucidly clear to Raven that the other girl was under immense strain from something. She was obviously holding back tears with some effort. The empath opened a tiny crack, just enough to taste what Jinx felt, but then slammed it back shut immediately, her face going bright crimson. A quick swallow was followed by her whispered plea, "Please move."
Jinx did, and sat down at the other end of the bed, curling into a tight ball and staring at the wall.
Raven slid off onto the floor and tripped into her bathroom, where she spent a minute splashing cold water on her face and then braced herself on the vanity, arms trembling.
The selfless devotion.
The constant memories.
The searing lust.
The agony of separation.
The insurmountable obstacle of their separate lives.
The stark realization of her own mortality.
The bitter tang of unrequited love.
A pall of hopelessness covering everything.
Raven looked up at herself in the mirror, panting slightly. "Goddess … Jinx. … Shit." She ran some water into a glass and drank it, only spilling a little. Wiping a shaky forearm across her brow, she thought, How do you bear it? How can you maintain such a happy-go-lucky demeanor with that … that maelstrom of contradictions living in your head?
The glass went back to the counter. Sitting on the edge of the tub, she pulled a towel off the rack and patted her face dry, then draped it over her head like a cowl while repeating her mantra under her breath.
Her doorbell rang.
That brought a frown to her pretty features. Quickly she flew out into her room: no Jinx. She expanded her field, seeking the girl, but couldn't feel her close. That was Victor at her door, though, and he felt agitated. She slid it open for him.
He stepped in, stopping just past the threshold. "Rae? What the hell's up with Jinx?"
"… What do you mean?"
"I was on my way up from the garage, taking the stairs to do a survey of the lights, and she flew past me. Bumped me pretty good, but didn't even slow down. She was crying. Did you know she could fly?"
"Fly? Uh … crying? Really? Um …"
"What's goin' on?"
An excellent question, and one that Raven suddenly felt needed her full attention. "No, I didn't know she could fly. But I have a decent idea why she's crying, and I think I need to talk to her." So saying, she phased through the floor.
The temporary quarters were below the levels where the full members lived. Raven expanded her senses until she came across the distraught girl, her aura glowing in the empath's mind like a phosphor. She moved in that direction.
It wasn't her intention to sneak up on Jinx. She simply wanted to talk to her, to reassure her, to … to what? Help her feel better? Give her some hope? Was that … right? Or accurate? More to the point, was it even possible? Could she do that? Part of her wanted to so badly, but another part kept whispering that hurt and betrayal always lay down that path. There was so much that Raven didn't know about the situation, and in that respect Jinx had the advantage. But apparently having all the information didn't make her feel any better, either.
This was Raven's mental state when she phased into Jinx's room. The thief was crying bitterly, and halfway through the process of disrobing, it being her intention to take a shower. In any case, she stood before Raven, rubbing at her streaming eyes with the ball of one thumb, and clutching her shirt in her other hand. Her torso was completely bare.
Raven gasped. The fact that Jinx had been wearing long-sleeved shirts exclusively hadn't meant anything to her before. Some people just did that, even in summer, and Jinx's old uniform, if one could call it that, had long sleeves, too. Raven couldn't recall ever seeing her arms bare before (much less her chest), and she found herself becalmed at the sight. An elaborate black-and-red tattooed design of curlicues and arabesques extended from her right shoulder, down across her chest and the upper left part of her abdomen to disappear into her jeans just above her left hip. Similar marks covered the tops of both her forearms.
"Jinx?" Something in Raven's memory tickled at the complex design.
The pink eyes opened, grew large, and then angry as she focused on Raven. Jinx whipped the shirt back in front of her and screamed, "Get out!"
"Wha … that tattoo … Jinx, what is that?"
"Out! Get out!" Her voice climbed an octave.
"… but …"
"No! You ain't interested in the movie, so I'm damned if you're gonna see the trailer." She pointed a resolute finger at the door. "Out!"
Blushing furiously, Raven did as she was told.
####
Several hours passed before Jinx reappeared. She'd changed her clothes, and was now togged up in a white sweat suit with light blue trim and a University of North Carolina logo on the chest. Her hair was put up in a tight French braid.
Raven had moved out to the common room, taking a book with her for pretense, but really just hoping that Jinx would come back so they could talk. Those waters were a very great deal deeper than she'd thought at first, and the questions only compounded as she waited.
However, when Jinx did show up, she didn't even acknowledge Raven's existence, her eyes sliding across the shorter girl as if she were so much furniture. She wandered over to the kitchen and started rummaging through the refrigerator.
Vic, who was channel-surfing, gave Raven a look and flicked his eye toward the kitchen. She sighed and then nodded, closing her book and laying it on the sofa before getting up and heading over that way. Jinx had arranged several ingredients on the counter and was putting together a sandwich for herself. Raven came up and leaned against the edge about two meters away. She cleared her throat. "If you'd like to talk about … um … whatever … I'm cool with it."
Jinx put the top piece of bread on, sliced it in half corner-to-corner, and took her plate over to the table, snubbing Raven dead on the way. She got a glass, pulled a bottle of orange juice out of the fridge, and sat down to eat. Raven watched her for a minute. When Jinx had finished the first half of the sandwich, the empath sat down across from her, keeping her voice low. "Jinx, I'm sorry I came in without knocking. I was … confused. I guess that's the best way to explain it. I wanted to …" She grasped for words.
Jinx took a sip of her juice and met Raven's eyes.
"I wanted to make it better. I'm … really sorry … for everything … and I …"
"Why?"
"… hm?"
"Why are you sorry?"
"Because I only made it worse. And you're right; I don't have the whole story, so my … judgments are probably skewed. I messed up. And I'm asking your forgiveness."
A muffled snort escaping her lips, Jinx put her sandwich down. "My forgiveness?"
Raven nodded.
"Why the sudden about-face? Thought I was the bad guy here."
"… I don't think so. If you ever were, you aren't now."
"Oh." Jinx dropped her eyes. "… What did you see?"
"Beg pardon?"
"You must have seen something … touched my mind. That's all I can think of for why you'd have this … change of heart. Am I wrong?"
Raven's blush was all the answer she needed.
"Fair enough, then. What'd you see?"
Raven stared at a spot on the wall behind Jinx's head. After a moment she whispered, "Pain. So much hurt. I've put you through … it just isn't fair."
"No. It isn't."
"And I didn't even know."
"I'll bet you a dinner at the finest steak joint in town that there's a hell of a lot more you don't know besides that."
That brought an answering nod. "I realized that a while ago. But I think I've been making some … incorrect assumptions."
Jinx chuckled wryly. "Oh, you think?"
Raven reached a tentative hand across the table, laid trembling fingers on Jinx's arm. The contact firmed up their mental link and Raven winced under the power of the tempest. She raised her gaze to those fuchsia orbs. "I don't know how you can do it."
"Do what?"
"Seem so normal. Look so relaxed and happy. When there's all that going on underneath."
The girl just shrugged. "Ya do what ya gotta do. There's something I have to do. Dwelling on … what might have been … won't help."
"Jinx?"
She looked at Raven with a tiny, questioning smile.
"I'll help you."
That pulled her up straight. "With Neron?"
"Yes."
"You don't know what kind of help I need. You shouldn't agree to something before checking it out."
"Then we'll talk it over if you like. But I've already made up my mind about that. If Trigon has a nephew … well, I'd kind of feel responsible if there was a way to stop him and I didn't help."
"Huh … okay. That's good."
"And I'd like your help, too."
Jinx gave her that characteristic cocked eyebrow as a silent question.
"With my memories."
"Ah. Well, I certainly don't mind. But no joke, Raven, I really don't know how much good I'll be. It's kinda-sorta out of my field, this poking around in someone's head."
She thought, Except when you did it to me, but didn't say that. "Maybe you can be moral support."
The grin was back in force. "That, I can handle."
"Is there any more of that turkey breast?"
Jinx glanced at her sandwich. "Yep. Bottom drawer on the right."
A couple of minutes later Raven sat down with her own sandwich, and had a tea kettle heating up. "Would you care for some tea?"
"Whatcha got?"
"This one's lemongrass and dandelion root."
"Sounds good." She took her empty glass and plate to the sink, looking askance at the pile of dishes therein. "You guys need a maid."
"It's Gar's turn to clean."
"So? There's, like, three or four days' worth of dirty stuff here. He just got back last night."
"Um …"
"Tell ya what. I'll whip this batch into shape, and Gar can owe me."
"Really? Why the sudden interest in …"
"Oh, it's not sudden. You should see my apartment back in New York. Well, my old apartment. I let the lease lapse. But it was spickety-span."
"I'm sure Garfield will be glad of the help. But you'll need a hazmat suit to work with that pile."
"Shows what you know. I'll be right back."
The kettle started singing as Jinx left, so Raven prepared their cups. It was a matter of less than a minute before Jinx returned. She had a cloth bag and a small tripod.
"What's all that for?"
"Watch and learn, Grasshopper."
Raven's lips quirked in a half-smile. We're talking! Hell, we're exchanging lively banter! "My life's purpose is but to receive your wisdom, O Masterful One. Carry on."
Jinx got a tiny cauldron going under a can of Sterno and started a spell. Over the course of a couple of minutes, she added several things of dubious nature to the pot; her mutterings were sounding familiar.
"Are you using a form of animation magic?"
Being in the middle of an incantation, Jinx only nodded. After another minute the smoke coming off the top of the small pot turned to a light lavender. Raven giggled delightedly. Then the smoke, following Jinx's finger, eased over to the sink and sank into the mass of glop-encrusted plates and flatware. She finished up with a two-handed flourish and then pulled a chair over to sit in front of the counter. Raven joined her a few seconds later and handed her a teacup, watching avidly.
If the Tower's inhabitants couldn't keep up with their dirty dishes, it wasn't from lack of equipment. There were any number of scrubbing and scraping devices available, and all of them suddenly perked up and went to work. The water turned on, and a stainless-steel-wool pad got busy on the topmost plate.
"You totally have to teach me that spell!"
"It's mostly Glamour. Think you can handle it?"
"pppbbbbb!"
Jinx sobered suddenly, giving her companion a sideways glance. Raven caught it and looked at her. "What?"
Jinx bit her lower lip as careful fingers brushed slowly through Raven's hair, catching it behind her left ear. The dark girl shivered at the touch, but didn't move. A thousand clues were screaming to her to be extra-gentle with the thief at this juncture, so she merely held Jinx's gaze.
"I don't want to fight."
"Neither do I," Raven admitted.
"I missed you." The words were barely audible.
"… I … picked up on that."
"But you didn't miss me." It was stated only as a fact, with no overt emotional weight.
"Well … no. Memories, you know?" She averted her eyes and took a quick swallow of tea. But with what I've gotten back so far, missing her is the least of my problems!
"Yeah, I know." She gestured at the vigorously-washing tools and said, "They'll keep at it until everything is clean. We don't have to watch. Would you like to take a stroll down memory lane?"
"I believe I would. Can I add this plate to the pile?"
"Sadly, no. It only works on what was there already. It needs limits, otherwise …"
"You'd find yourself in a Sorcerer's Apprentice-type situation. Right?"
"Right you are." She held out a hand, indicating the door to the hall. "After you."
####
"So you've been in there twice, now?"
"Yes. And I can't help but think that there's more to that cave. But the memories I got back … it was a lot to process. I haven't been back because I was working through my, uh," She fought down the blush that threatened to invade her cheeks. "… the, uh, reaction to what I learned. Then I got wounded, and nearly died. Then when I woke up, here you are, in the Tower, not being a villain, and I learned that you saved my life, and … well … it was a lot to process."
Jinx giggled. "You've been a busy girl."
"Too right."
The two of them sat facing each other on Raven's bed, the silver-framed mirror between them, in its cover. Jinx quite readily agreed to accompany Raven on this mental excursion, which convinced the empath that her companion had no idea what was in store. She tried to explain, but Jinx waved it off. "Can't be any worse than what Brother Blood put us through."
"I wouldn't count on it. That, from what I've heard, was bad, but it was primarily just brainwashing. Nothing physical."
"There were physical components. Trust me. Unpleasant ones."
"Heh. 'Unpleasant'. How … understated."
"You know me. I'm the poster girl for Subtle."
Raven laughed hard at that, and the bed scooted several centimeters away from the wall before she got her powers back under control. "Goddess, Jinx, don't make me laugh like that! It's dangerous."
"So I noticed." She tapped the object between them. "I'm ready when you are."
Raven pulled the mirror from its cover; the face was down against the bed. Then she took Jinx's hand, doing her level best to ignore the sudden thrill it gave her. "All you have to do is look into it, okay?"
"Sure. No prob."
"Let's hope." She took a deep breath and flipped the mirror over.
####
Jinx landed rather harder than she would have liked, and nearly fell. Cursing softly, she steadied herself and then looked around. Raven was nowhere to be seen. For that matter, hardly anything else was, either. The phrase 'blighted land', she mused, must have been invented to describe this place.
For one thing, it wasn't level, undulating off into the distance in quease-inducing rolls and dips. The ground was rock. Not just rocky, but apparently solid rock, which was liberally strewn with sharp fragments. Everything was dark. Not too dark to see, but then, with her eyes that would have to be awfully dark. A bitter wind blew around in a desultory manner, catching up grit here and there and peppering her with it.
"Son of a bitch. Goth, much?"
Raven had mentioned that they might come in separated, and that she should look for a portal. Jinx wished she'd gotten a little better description of said portal. Nothing she saw looked like a doorway.
Then she noticed the arch. It, too, was made of rock, rough and windblown, like some ancient natural bridge. There was nothing else around that offered any better clue, so she trudged off toward it … and arrived in just a few steps, surprising her again.
"Ooookay. That's weird." She stepped through the arch, and found herself staring up at a high wall. "And since that wasn't weird enough …" The wall stretched off into the distance in both directions, but she saw what looked like a gap off to her right. That proved to be an opening into …
"Oh, the maze! Right. She said Timid stayed in a maze. I guess I have to find her now." Tripping on into the labyrinth, she giggled. "Puzzles are fun, and this one has a prize at the end."
Nor did it take her very long to get to the middle. She suspected that the gray-cloaked Emotion allowed herself to be found, because she wasn't cringing in fear, but rather was sitting on a shelf of rock, arms around her knees, and staring at Jinx as she came around a corner.
"Oh! Hello."
Timid gave her a brief wave. "You're Jinx."
"All day long. And you must be Timid. Very pleased to meet ya."
"Raven said you weren't dangerous, and I shouldn't be scared."
"She's right. I'm just here to help her find a memory. Or maybe more than one."
Timid looked off to the left. "Memories … can be pretty scary, too."
"Life's like that I hear."
"Yeah. Too often."
"Do you get out much? Talk with the other Emotions?"
"Uh … no. Not often. Most of them are …" She swallowed, caught her breath, and continued, "… kind of … intense. Especially Brave. And the new girl. But Wisdom comes here and talks to me some."
New girl? Jinx cleared her throat. "So, I'm supposed to meet Raven in here somewhere. Is there a shortcut to that common area she told me about? I think I came in on the backside of nowhere."
Almost eagerly, Timid pointed to the left. "Down that passage, take the second left, second right, second left, then press on the wall at the end."
Jinx could tell when she was being dismissed. She stood. "Thanks. I'll give Raven your regards."
Her voice tiny, Timid said, "Thank you." And Jinx walked off.
The indicated route led her into a small, grassy glade with enormous trees on all sides. She couldn't see ten meters into the gloom under them. Before she had a chance to spend too much time puzzling over this place, she heard a step behind her and spun around, dropping to a crouch out of instinct. This new Raven wore an emerald-green cloak and had both fists clenched. She growled, "Just try something. Give me an excuse."
Jinx slowly stood straight. "Brave?"
"Who else? And you're Jinx, and you're bad news."
"Bad luck. There's a difference."
"Says you."
Jinx glanced around again, but got no inspiration. "So … I thought I was supposed to be headed for the common area. But this is your place, isn't it?"
Brave stalked up and got in her face. "What are you really doing here?"
"Helping a friend. At least, I hope she's a friend. Hope I can keep her as a friend." This last was muttered under her breath.
"I don't trust you."
"You sound just like the Boy Blunder when you say that."
Brave growled and took a swing at her, but Raven's hand-to-hand training was not even in the same class as Jinx's. The thief easily avoided the punch, and the series of kicks that followed. They played tag around the glade, until Brave was panting hard. "Stand still, damn it!"
"I don't think so. I have no reason to hit you and even less to allow you to hit me."
Brave launched another, equally fruitless attack. After several minutes, she leaned back against a tree to try to catch her breath. Jinx sat on a large rock, not too far away, and asked, "All finished?"
"Screw you."
"Sounds like fun, but I don't really have the time. And you'd probably need a bath first. I'm not into sweat sex."
"Just … shut up!"
"If you'll point out the way to the common area, I'll be happy to get out of your hair."
Brave grimaced. "You'll have to … beat it … out of me!"
"I'd really rather not. Even though Raven did say that you couldn't actually be harmed, I don't think she'd appreciate it if I roughed up her sense of purpose." She grinned. "Besides, the longer you hold out, the longer you have to put up with charming little me. That can't be much fun for someone like you. Why don't you foist me off onto Happy?"
Brave stared at her, chest heaving, for several seconds, then jerked her head to the side and strode off. Jinx scrambled up to follow. In just a few dozen steps they came to a rocky cliff face covered with hanging vines. Brave pointed and said, "Step through there." Then she melted back into the trees.
Smirking in satisfaction, Jinx swept aside the vines and entered the cave …
… and nearly tripped over one of the great rocks littering the ground.
This can't possibly be Happy's place! The cave, with its cool walls and inviting dampness, was gone. The earth here was black, the sky the color of molten iron, the wind hot and bitter. Before her stood a brooding castle of dark slate. A massive gate of what looked like obsidian blocked her path, heat pouring off it like the doors of Hell's furnace.
"I sure as shit ain't goin' in there!" She looked all around. Death Valley was an amusement park compared with this place. In the distance she thought she could make out things moving … things that looked a lot like big rocks. A couple of them seemed to be headed this way, making her nervous. Quickly deciding to exercise the better part of valor, she jumped back through the arch …
And nearly knocked Raven down. But the empath caught her balance and stared incredulously at her guest. "Jinx? I've been looking all over for …"
The sudden surge of relief that washed over her made her grab the shorter girl and hold on hard. "Thank God! It's you. Damn, Raven, your Emotions are hard to deal with!"
"Heh. Don't I know it. Where were you?"
"Well, first I ran into Timid, and then …"
"Could you … ease up a bit? Hard to breathe."
"Oh! Sorry!" She broke the death grip and stepped back. "I was just … really glad it was you."
That won Jinx a tiny smile. "Well, good."
"Okay. So, Timid told me to go … ah, she gave me directions to the common area, but instead I ended up in Brave's place, and she tried to beat me up, but …"
"What? She fought you?"
"Eh. Dunno as I'd call it a fight. There was no contact. Wasn't for lack of trying on her part, though."
"That's … odd. Do you know what set her off?"
"Being me, best I could tell. She showed up with a chip on her shoulder."
"Weird."
"If you say so. Anyhow, I asked her where the common area was, and she wouldn't tell me, so then I said she could shuffle me off on Happy, and she told me to go through this cave, but when I came …"
"Cave? Oh, hell!"
"Yeah, hell's kinda what it looked like."
Raven took her hand. "Jinx, I am sorry! Brave should have known better!"
"So she meant for me to go there? What was that place?"
"That's where Rage stays. She's in that castle these days instead of the cage I used to have for her."
"You kept her in a cage? No wonder she's mad."
"It's not that simple," answered Raven, shaking her head. "Rage is intimately connected to my demonic side. Even with Trigon gone, I can't afford to give her any leeway. It would be too, too dangerous."
"… Oh."
Pulling her along, Raven said, "But you made it here anyway. Come on, let's meet up with Knowledge. I want to take another look at that cave."
They slipped under another arch and came out in neutral territory. A yellow-cloaked figure stood there, tapping her foot. "It's about time!"
"Sorry, Wisdom, Brave was being an ass."
"An accomplishment at which she excels." She gave Jinx a quick once-over and nodded. "I suppose you'll do."
"Huh. 'preciate the vote of confidence."
They zipped across the wasteland with startling speed, soon arriving at the cave in question where Knowledge, in a brown cloak, was already waiting on them. Raven glanced over at Jinx. "Look familiar?"
"No. Should it?"
"That's where my memories were buried."
"Ah. Okay. But you know I've never been here before."
"Right. Not in person, like this."
"Not ever, in any fashion."
Raven's mouth worked open a couple of times, but then she frowned, shrugged, and turned to the doorway.
Knowledge said, "It's still burning."
That pulled Raven's head around. "The candle?"
"Yes."
Wisdom nodded. "So this is of a type with the other."
"It would seem so," her sister Aspect agreed.
Moving eagerly into the cave, Raven scooted to the rear of the chamber and ducked into the smaller one. Then she frowned. Calling back outside, she asked, "Knowledge, did you put it in a sconce?"
"I did not. Nevertheless, it now sits in one, where before it was sitting on the floor."
Wisdom said, "That is quite significant. Raven, can you see anything unusual about the wall around the sconce?"
Jinx got the Aspect's attention and asked, "Okay if I go in there, too?"
"Do you think you should?"
"I dunno. But I'm curious."
"And you have been likened to a feline on more than one occasion."
"What harm could it do?"
Wisdom thought it over and gave a tiny shrug. "None, I suppose." She raised her voice slightly. "Raven?"
"Yeah?"
"Jinx would like to come in there with you."
"Well, it's kind of tight, but I guess that would be okay."
Jinx scooted inside. "Hey. You're right. The Taj Mahal, this ain't." She poked a head into the inner chamber. "Huh. How 'bout that."
"Have a look at this. See if you can make anything of it."
"Looks like a candle in a wall sconce."
Raven gave her a look, then noticed the grin, whereupon she popped Jinx's arm. "Don't be a smart ass. I'm trying to get to the bottom of things here."
"Okey-doke." Easing in beside the empath, they had to rub shoulders to fit. "Damn good thing I ain't claustrophobic."
They studied the candle and its holder. Whereas the first candle had been a narrow taper, this one was squat and wide, nearly a regular cylinder. Jinx offered, "Weird lookin' sconce."
"Yes, and I know that has to mean something. The other candleholder was what led me to this chamber, so this one must be trying to do something similar."
The sconce had a fairly standard base for the candle to sit on, and that was attached to a vertical bracket in the shape of an arrowhead pointing up. There were five small scroll-like strips of metal that curved down from the bottom of the base like a stylized flower. One of them, the one in the center, was longer, and extended up to slightly above the base level. It came to a sharp point.
Raven ran a finger along it lightly. "There's that arrow motif again. I know it's pointing at something!"
"Yeah, the roof."
They both peered upward, but the rocky dome held no clues.
Knowledge called in, "It occurs to me that the fact of its being a sconce may be significant."
"How so?" Raven asked.
"The word has multiple meanings."
Jinx and Raven glanced at each other. "Like what?"
"One archaic definition is roughly 'wits' or 'common sense'. It can also refer to a small, defensive earthwork."
Chuckling, Jinx observed, "Well, we're in one of those already."
"Indeed, so I imagine that if there is a double-meaning intended, it would refer to how you use your head."
"Meaning," opined Raven, "how we solve the riddle."
"Correct."
Jinx stared at the sconce for several seconds, studying the thing's construction. "That point …"
"Yes?"
"Hey, looky. It's pointing up, right?"
"Right. So?"
"It's got a candle behind it." She craned her neck around to look at the opposite wall. "Damn. We're in the way." And she shuffled back out of the tiny room. "Come on."
"Come on where?"
"Just out here. You'll see. I hope."
When they were again side by side, only on the other side of the opening, Jinx grinned and pointed. "See?"
There on the floor, the shadow of the pointed strip of metal lay, stretching exactly to the base of the wall. Eagerly, Raven crawled back in, crouching low to study the spot. "Ah ha!"
"What is it?"
"Hang on." She brushed away some dust, and Jinx caught a faint glimmer. "There's a … yes, it's a ring."
"A ring?"
"Couple centimeters across, I'd say. Looks brass. Too light to be gold."
"Ha! Funny. Go for the brass ring."
Raven gave her a pleased grin. "Exactly!"
"Okay, so, pull it."
"Give me a moment … got to uncover … okay, I think I can get a finger in there …" And she did, pulling upward. The ring came free grudgingly, and trailed a short chain from its lower side. Her excitement mounting, Raven pulled it out of the dirt, stopping when it would tug no farther. She immediately began scrabbling at the floor around where the chain disappeared. Jinx said, "Wouldn't it be quicker to use your power to scoop the dirt back?"
Raven sat up, gave Jinx a pained look, and crossed her arms. A black mist covered the spot on the floor where she'd been working, and in a trice a small trap door came to light. "Thanks. Got a little monomaniacal there."
"You're welcome." She looked at the door in confusion. "Are we supposed to go through that? Because I haven't been that narrow in quite a few years."
"I don't know. Let's open it and see." She pulled on the chain, and the door creaked open. The small space revealed was just a bit larger than the wrapped box that sat within.
"What's that?"
"That, my dear, is my memory." Carefully, Raven reached in with her power and pulled out the box. Then she floated outside, Jinx following. "This is what the others looked like."
"So … your memory is a … present?"
"A gift, yes. Odd, isn't it?"
"So you open it and a memory pops out? How's that work?"
"Let's find out." She touched the bow …
My Patrol is very quiet tonight.
I float along,
some twenty or thirty meters above the rooftops.
I spy into the alleys.
I let my senses roam into the buildings below.
Few are left, here in the business sector.
It is very late,
and most workers have gone home.
I would like to go home.
But I cannot.This is my place,
my time,
my vocation.
I know that, soon, something will happen.
Something always
happens,
usually within a few minutes past midnight.
I need to be here to stop it,
to foil a robbery
or
to protect the innocent
from harm.
As I do so often when that thought crosses my mind,
I laugh at my own temerity.
Someone like me,
demon-spawn,
protecting the innocent.
Humorous, no?
Then, as they always do, my thoughts
run
to
darker
veins.
Is anyone truly innocent?
Is anyone truly good?
I have debated this with myself so often.
Many of the major
religions
of this world would answer a resounding
NO!
There is no one
innocent,
no one
good.
On the other hand
there are those who would say that even the concepts of
good and evil
are nothing but rhetorical
traps.
I have spoken at length with priests of many stripes.
One tried to exorcise me.
He was amusing, in his way.
Most wanted me to follow their precepts,
to study their
holy words.
But they maintained, almost without exception, that all other religions are false.
There were a few,
the simple,
the ones who acknowledge the spirit world
but have no Revealed Word of their own,
who seemed to accept me for who I am.
But they are
rare.
So rare.
And no one,
not a single one of the clerical men or women I spoke with,
truly understood who
I am
and what I have had to deal with all my life.
It isn't, I think, because they refuse to.
It is because they are unable to.
There are no points of reference.
I wonder sometimes if understanding could ever be possible.
Would it be worth my time to try?
I don't know what kind of lifespan I will have.
My mother was a mortal.
My father was not.
If I had not destroyed him, he might have lived forever.
I think that may have been part of his problem.
He couldn't achieve closure.
He had no 'end time' to anticipate.
He had only eternity.
That had to be just a little bit frightening.
Eternity can be very, very lonely.
I hope I do not live forever.
I do not want to outlive everyone I have come to
love,
even those, like
Jinx,
who have
abandoned
me.
I quickly pull my thoughts away from that path.
Living.
Loving.
Living forever.
I don't want that.
And yet … I fear death.
I have fought madly to avoid the Reaper.
Does this mean I am insane?
Again, and yet again, it is the Tricky Definitions that derail my thoughts.
The debate keeps me occupied
until something happens
that pulls me back into the realm of the
pragmatic.
Whether one is good or evil is so often moot.
The real question is whether one is interested in
justice.
Do I obey the law?
One of Earth's noted
philosophers
said that an unjust law is no law at all.
Is the law itself applied rationally and justly
so that one of
common sense
could follow it gladly?
Many in this land would laugh at such a question.
Many say that law and politics are merely
games
played by the powerful,
that the average citizen is no more than a puppet,
if lucky,
and a victim too often.
But that is not for me to say.
I am a stranger in this world.
And though I once rescued it from oblivion, it heeds me not.
I am alone with my thoughts.
* * *
I pass over the fringes of the financial district.
Jump City has so many banks, such a high concentration of currency,
that many thieves find it too much temptation to resist.
This is an affluent city, for all its crime-ridden slums.
Jewelry
and safety deposit boxes
and high-end electronics
and super-cars
and dozens of neighborhoods
populated by millionaires
all throw a bright flare that beckons to those
whose talents lie in separating
The Rich
from their possessions.
It is nearly one-o'clock now.
The Treece Museum comes into view.
It is a museum of natural history,
a repository of anthropological knowledge.
Unlike many museums,
the Treece doesn't put fancy,
expensive,
valuable trinkets on display.
The curators here are much more interested
in the lives and times of the peoples
who came before.
Their displays reflect that.
You will find dioramas of village life from half a hundred early civilizations,
explanations of hunting methods and tools,
examples of early languages,
and clothing,
and transportation,
and husbandry.
This place draws hardcore anthropologists.
It isn't a museum that offers much of an attraction for thieves.
I don't normally give it much more than a cursory glance,
and this night is no different.
However …
A light flashes briefly through one window.
I wonder if it is a trick of reflection.
I stop, and wait, and watch.
It comes again.
The museum has been closed for six hours.
I know they don't employ roaming guards.
There is no point.
What would a thief steal?
Nevertheless, someone is in there.
Sighing, I swoop down.
* * *
Phasing through the wall, I float along
silently.
I come in to an adjacent hall.
Caution is my watchword, stealth my staunch ally.
The thieves in this city are frequently well armed,
and I've no desire to engender the expense of
thousands of dollars
in collateral bullet holes.
I can hear a very slight scrape as I reach the cross-corridor.
I turn left.
I can see,
down maybe twenty-five meters,
a figure all in
black
working on a display case.
I wonder why the proximity alarms haven't sounded.
If one had, I'd have been notified by now.
That spoke of a high level of skill for this burglar.
I move into a convenient shadow
and emerge from another behind the thief.
The figure is small, and slight,
good qualities for one in that profession.
I look to see what would tempt such a master to break in here …
and I am very confused.
The objects in the case are ancient projectile weapons:
a spear and a throwing stick.
The plaque says the spear was
sacred
to an aboriginal people in southern Africa
some three millennia ago.
There is also a small leather shield,
but it is a modern reproduction,
not an original.
Why on earth would anyone be stealing these things?
But that, in the final analysis, doesn't matter.
Thievery is being done, and must be stopped.
I reach out and wrap the thief in layers of soul-self,
cold and black,
and in doing so I touch the perp's mind …
It is Jinx.
She has a moment of panic when she realizes she has been discovered.
Her hands fill with balls of pink fire.
But just as soon as she understands that she is caught,
she realizes
who it is
who has caught her,
and the flames wink out.
I turn her to face me, and set her back on the floor, and
release her.
My heart has never beaten this hard, nor ached this much.
I look into those bright pink eyes and I see
hurt
and fear
and sadness
and longing
and …
"You said you were going to leave.
You told me … you were going far away."
"Yeah, I said that, didn't I?"
"But you didn't do that."
"Actually … I did."
I am confused.
"Why did you come back?"
She raised a faltering hand, indicated the display case.
"Commission job."
I float over and land in front of her.
She is beginning to cry.
The appeal of that outlet occurs to me as well.
"How can you do this to me?"
"I didn't want to."
"Want doesn't matter. What you are doing matters."
Her tears come faster now.
She sits down on the edge of the dais
and drops her head
into her hands.
"He contacted me.
Told me he'd heard of my abilities.
Said that, because it was in Jump and
the Titans
might get involved, I was the one for the job.
Offered me … a hell of a lot of money
to come get these things."
"And you couldn't say no?"
"I guess …"
She sniffs and pulls a hand across her face.
Tears are running down her arms now,
and her stuttering breaths make her
hard
to understand.
"… guess … I'm not as … strong … as I thought I was."
She looks up at me, and my heart nearly stops.
She is stricken.
Absolutely and finally
defeated,
and she whispers,
"I thought …"
When she pauses, I prompt her. "Thought what?"
"Thought if …
… was in town …
… might … I … maybe get …
… to see you. I couldn't …"
Her sobs take over. She can't speak.
I sit beside her. I put my arm over her shoulders.
She flinches at my contact.
Her face comes up, centimeters from mine.
"If you touch me …
… if you hold me …
… I will never … able … to leave again.
I can't do … to you.
Didn't want … do this to you."
Her words are broken, much like her spirit.
I gently wipe the tears from her flaming cheeks.
Through the contact I can feel her shame.
She is ashamed of
what she is,
ashamed of why we can't be together,
ashamed of her lack of will power.
Through all that weaves her love.
She loves me.
There is no doubt.
And because of that, she wants to save me from herself.
She would save me from the torture of making an impossible decision.
But all I can think of,
all that captures my
thoughts,
is that she is back.
She is here.
She is close.
And now …
Now …
I can keep her.
I can make her stay.
It will be so easy.
Slide, ever so softly, into her mind.
Plant the seed.
Water it well.
Help it grow.
Stay.
Only stay.
I will make it all better if you only stay.
Her eyes glaze over a bit.
"I can … stay."
"Yes," I say, smoothly.
"You will stay with me."
I place my hands on either side of her face.
"Stay …"
She leans toward me.
Her eyes drop shut.
My skin burns with the need for those moist lips.
"Yes."
She whimpers against my mouth,
"… love you."
"I love you, too."
Something startles her.
She blinks a few times, and pulls back.
"What are you … doing?"
I pause, and consider, and realize that Lust is in the driver's seat.
My hands leap from her face.
Ferociously, I
push
my wayward Emotion
down,
slam the door to her
rooms.
I stand and quickly move away.
"I'm sorry!"
"But … what were you … doing?"
And I think to myself, Being selfish!
But I don't say anything.
Jinx gets up and comes to stand behind me.
"This is never going to work, you know."
I want to say that she is wrong.
I want to say that love will overcome.
But basic nature doesn't change, at least not overnight.
I turn to her.
"I'm really, really sorry for that."
"Did you … try to … influence me?"
I hang my head and turn away from her.
"Please don't feel like you're the only one with no will power."
"It's like I said. I have to go. I'll ruin your life if I stay."
"You'll ruin it if you leave."
I look over my shoulder, catch her gaze.
"Maybe we could both go away. Far away."
"And you become a thief? That ain't gonna happen. Not on my watch."
"If you're so shocked by me just thinking about it, how come you don't …"
"This is who I am.
I'm not proud of it.
But I have a skill set that isn't really conducive to much else.
I am a thief.
I'm not a girl who happens to steal things.
Being a thief is what I am.
Just like being a hero is what you are.
It isn't something you just decide.
Like, 'oh, hey, today
just for a lark
I think
I'll go put a major dent in the criminal element of Jump City!'
That's not a decision for you.
It's who you are.
And this is who I am."
She drops her head, crosses her arms, and turns away.
I ask, "Don't I get any say-so in this process?"
"No. Not for either of us."
She folds her legs and flops to the floor.
"That stinks."
"You're right. It is seriously fucked up. But that's how things are."
She looks up at me.
"I didn't make the rules,
but no matter how much I hate it,
I can't do anything about it.
That would be like arguing with gravity while falling."
She laughs bitterly.
"Sorry. Bad allusion. Doesn't apply to you."
"I'm not going to arrest you."
"Thanks. I'm not going to steal that stupid spear."
"Oh."
I am unaccountably pleased by that.
"Why did … your client want it?"
"Who knows? But for what he was paying, I didn't care.
It was enough to … get me started.
To start over … somewhere."
"Somewhere without me, you mean."
She nodded.
"What if I just come find you?"
"I wish you wouldn't."
"Why not?"
"Have you even been listening to this conversation?"
"Maybe I don't like this conversation!
Maybe I want to see what a normal life feels like!
You know?
Regular people with a cute house in the 'burbs and 9-to-5 jobs?
Why can't we have that?"
"Oh, like you could ever even try to live that way."
"We'll never know if we don't try."
She regards me soberly for several moments.
"I already know.
That just ain't us."
Wandering over to a window, she
stands
gazing out of it.
"This time … when I leave …"
"Don't leave."
Her head drops.
"… when I leave I'll have to make sure to stay away."
"I'm not letting you leave!"
"You don't really have anything to say about it."
"This is so unfair!"
She stands in one-quarter profile from my perspective.
I can tell from the way her cheek moves that she is grinning.
I can also tell there is not even a
miniscule
trace
of humor in it.
"We had this same talk last time.
But tonight … showed me what a real coward I am.
I won't be coming back to Jump.
Not any time soon."
Arms of darkness encircle her, draw her to me.
There is fear,
and pain,
and stubborn resolve,
and the ache of loss
in
her
beautiful
eyes.
Her voice is so soft.
"You need to let it go, Raven."
"I won't!"
"You sound like a spoiled three-year-old."
"I don't care!"
"Rae, listen to yourself!
This is crazy!
Me? Jinx?
Me, being the mature one?
What the hell is up with that?"
"Why don't we deserve the same chance at happiness that normal people get?"
"Rae … we aren't normal."
I stand there silently,
holding her in my power as I feel
my life
squeezing from my fist
like so much quicksilver.
My lungs can't seem to draw enough air.
She snakes an arm loose from my coils and touches my face.
"If I get a head wound and lose half my brain …
… if I get Alzheimers …
… no matter what …
I will never, never forget you.
But I can't stay here.
Not now."
There is more going on in her head.
I can feel the restless currents.
She wants to say more, but doesn't.
"What is it that you want to tell me?"
She laughs quietly.
"Let me go."
"Promise you won't run away."
"No promises.
You can't trust the word of a thief anyway."
"Then I'm not letting you go."
"I will not be responsible for knocking your life off the tracks."
"My decisions are not your doing or your concern."
"Like hell."
She squirms a bit.
"At least lighten up some. I can't breathe in here."
It strikes me that this may have been the issue all along.
"You …
you don't want to be in a relationship at all, do you?
Not with anyone."
"What? Don't be stupid."
"Then tell me it isn't so.
Tell me that if things were different …"
"In a heartbeat."
"… What?"
"If I knew for sure I could give up being a
thief,
we'd already be picking out curtains."
I only stare at her.
"But the sad fact of the matter is just as I told you before.
I'm a thief.
I. Am. A. Thief.
I don't know how to be anything else.
Maybe, someday, I can get there.
Maybe I can un-learn thieving.
Please believe that I'll try.
But I'm not there yet.
I have no guarantees.
And I'll not let my personal shortcomings
drag
you
down
with
me."
Inadvertently I tighten my grip.
She hisses in sudden discomfort, and I,
chagrined,
ease up quite a bit.
That's when she blasts me.
The hex-bolts rip her loose from my power.
The explosive shock knocks me back,
makes me lose my
concentration,
and the soul-self
falls
to
tatters.
I hear a crash.
When I sit up, she is gone, and the nearest window is blasted to shards.
There are drops of her blood on many of them.
* * *
I spend the rest of that night
and most of the following day
searching for
her.
I am wild with grief and pain and an undeniable sense of betrayal.
I am not certain what I will do if I find her:
cover her with kisses,
or wring her neck.
Exhaustion finally claims me.
I am forced to call Victor and ask him to come and get me.
At the Tower I speak to no one.
I go to my room and fall into a
profound
slumber,
and know no more.
Two mornings after that, a knock at my door pulls me awake. It is Victor, I can tell.
I rise and open the portal.
"What?"
"Package came for you."
He held out a small box.
My eyes widen.
My hand trembles as I take it and close the door without even thanking him.
I can tell it is from her.
It has her vibrations, her scent.
I rip off the paper, and tear open the lid.
Inside is a small leather bag and a few folded sheets of paper.
I open the note and read her flowing script.
My Dear One –
I didn't want to do that. But I couldn't think of any other way to save you.
It sucks major wang to think that I had to save you from me. I don't much like
that. But it is what it is. You weren't going to let me go. I could tell. You
didn't really leave me much of a choice. So you won't be able to find me
now. I'm already a long way off, and I think I'll be leaving the continent for a
while. I speak a couple of other languages, so that'll help. And, no, I'm not
telling you which ones, either. Stay there! I mean it. You have a job to do. The
Titans … gods, I can't believe I'm saying this … the Titans need you. Jump
City needs you. I need you, too, but you know what Spock said. The needs of
the many and all that. Yeah, it's existential bullshit, but I think it applies in
this case. So I'm going to go see what I can do about a Jinx Improvement
Project. If it works, I'll be back. That doesn't mean you have to 'wait for me'
like some kind of gothic novel heroine. If you meet somebody, just be happy.
Anymore that's all I want for you. It just hurts a WHOLE HELL OF A LOT
to know that you wouldn't be able to be happy with me. But I'm a realist (that
means I'm grounded in reality better than you are, so ha-ha and yay me) and
if a relationship is doomed from the start, there isn't much point in staying in
it. Do I sound like a doomcrow? Sorry if I do. I want us to be together, because I
love you. You should probably know that I haven't said that to anyone else. I kinda
had a crush on Wally for a while, but he's an even bigger kid than me, and that
got old pretty quick. I've admired you for almost as long as I've known you, and I
thought you were cute off the bat. The way I feel about you now. Well. It's hard to
put into words. I'm nobody's idea of a poet, and that's what it would take. Or maybe
a really good ballad, but I don't play any musical instruments either. So where does
that leave us? I'm gonna have a whack at going straight. We'll see how that goes.
If it works, I'll find you. If you're still available, and you don't hate me, we'll take it from
there. But I just couldn't do it with you near me. You're too big a distraction, and I'm
no good at that focused concentration stuff as it is. But I know you must be … you
are more than likely pretty sore at me. I don't blame you. I'd be hurt, too, in your place.
And if you want to forget about it for a while, that's what the bag's for. I researched a
spell (okay, I had somebody competent research it for me) that will let you forget specific
things if you want to. The bag has the ingredients, and the incantation is on the last
page of this note. I'm not saying you have to, or even that you need to, but you looked
like you were in a lot of pain, and that's my fault, and I want to make it up to you if I can.
So the spell's there if you want it. And I guess that's all. Just … whatever you end up
doing, please believe that I do love you, and I want what's – that is, all this, what I'm doing,
this is all because of that. Because I love you. If you think I'm weird, well then okay.
I can deal. But you had to know.
All My Love,
Jinx
I look at the last sheet and there is the spell written out.
It is called 'The Forget-Me-Nut'.
I open the bag and see a large acorn inside.
This, I decide, is a low blow:
ending a relationship with an awful pun.
It's just like something she'd do.
The pain sears my world as it
slams
home to me again that she is gone.
Well,
if that's the way she wants it,
by Azar,
I can play that way, too.
I read the spell.
I set out the ingredients and light the candles.
This is Psychic Sorcery, and no stretch for me.
She wants me happy?
Fine.
I'll forget her.
And I'll be happy.
I start the incantation …
Sunlight warmed the back of Raven's head. She stirred, her eyes opening slowly to half-mast. A few seconds later, they popped fully open.
There, not ten centimeters away, was the top of Jinx's head, snuggled into Raven's bosom. Her shoulders lifted slightly in her sleep as she drew a breath, and her left arm was draped across Raven's flank.
The empath didn't move, not the tiniest fraction, as she went over all this new information. Everything fell into place. It wasn't Jinx! She hadn't invaded Raven's head at all. Raven did it to herself! In a fit of pique, she had erased all traces of her relationship with the thief. And no wonder, with how poorly she'd behaved! She blushed hard as the images paraded across the front of her mind.
Glancing down again at the short, blond hair, she decided that Jinx looked really good that way. Her heart sped up again as other images crowded in. Jinx was right here, beside her ... right here in her bed, close and warm and soft … and right here! Her chest swelling dangerously, Raven all but bathed in the returning emotions. Love and wonder and pride and admiration and a fierce, deathless will to protect. She eased her right arm down from where it had been over her head and carefully embraced the other girl.
Jinx made a small, tender, satisfied noise and repositioned herself a little closer, moving her head so that Raven could see her face. She drew a deep breath, and a smile drifted across her lips.
Those lips.
An unsteady fingertip lightly traced the outline of Jinx's mouth. She sniffed, took another deep breath, and reached up to rub at her face. Then her eyes opened. She was staring directly into Raven's chest, and instantly stilled. Her eyes flicked up to meet Raven's, and her face flamed. An attempt to pull away was quickly scotched as the empath pulled her back. "You are not going anywhere."
"… um …"
"I remember everything now. You were right. I behaved like a spoiled child. But listen, little Missy, you weren't a whole lot better."
Jinx swallowed a couple of times and mumbled something.
"What?"
"I said … if we're gonna argue, I need to pee first."
That pulled a long chuckle from her captor. Raven said, "No."
Raising an eyebrow, Jinx responded, "Huh? You want me to wet the bed?"
Raven closed her eyes and concentrated. There was a weird, cold twisting in Jinx's nether region and a gurgling sound from the bathroom. She yelped and looked at Raven. "Did you just … you did!"
"I told you. You aren't going anywhere."
"That is so cheating!"
"And I so do not care. I deprived myself of your companionship for close to three and a half years. I caused you incalculable suffering, and I intend to make up for lost time, and we are going to start … right … now." She punctuated her comments by kissing both of Jinx's eyes and then the tip of her nose.
Jinx felt like a puddle of butter, gasping at Raven's touch.
Raven flipped up so that she lay along the top of the taller girl. "I owe you, Jinx." She ran a delicate tongue along the curve of Jinx's jaw. "I owe you big time. You placed my well-being above your own desires. Gave me what I needed, not what I wanted." Feather-light kisses traced the wildly-beating pulse in Jinx's neck, down to her collarbone. "That is the soul and essence of love. I can't imagine a greater gift. And I'm going to spend the rest of my life repaying you."
Jinx threw her arms around her lover and hung on for all she was worth.
####
Starfire had been to her room to get a couple of items she thought might be useful in preparing supper. She was trying to keep one of them from climbing out of the sack when she floated past Raven's door, and she stopped, nonplussed. There were … unusual sounds coming from within. Frowning in concentration, she leaned an ear against the door …
A few seconds later she was speeding away, toward the kitchen, blushing hard enough to read by. She nearly ran over Victor in her blind haste. He yelped, caught her, steadied himself, and said, "Damn, Star, you okay?"
"YesfriendVictorIamfine,thankyou,Iamgoingtothekitchennow." She whooshed past him fast enough to draw a stiff breeze behind her.
What the hell?
He looked after her, then looked back up the hall. A grin slowly took over his face. Moving as quietly as he could, he walked back toward Raven's room …
Later, during supper, at which Jinx and Raven were notably absent, Victor made what sounded to the others like an innocent comment to Starfire about how sounds travel in the hallways. That statement had her stuttering and her face nearly giving off smoke. Dick and Gar exchanged puzzled looks, shrugged, and went back to shoveling in the Chinese takeout they'd gotten after the dinner Starfire had made escaped.
TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT
Author's Note:
Yes, I know, this sucker is ridiculously long … nearly 13,000 words. It practically qualifies as a short story by itself. But the characters had a lot to say, and Raven had a lot to catch up on, and I'm sorry, but that's just how it came out.
Opinion-poll time: Does the story still fit within a 'T' rating? I've had some comment about that.
Let me know what you all think! And thanks for reading.
- Concolor
