Velocius quam asparagi coquantur — Faster than you can cook asparagus
Egypt leaned back on the bench, peering down his nose into his goblet.
"So, what you're telling me is…"
"Yes. When you join our empire—"
"I don't fancy wearing a toga again. Bit too breezy downstairs..."
Rome furrowed his brow and leaned forwards, gripping his cup tightly.
"And you know I'm not like your other territories…eh…without my grain, you'd have starved many times. And you know, you failed to protect me from Persia…"
Egypt rubbed his chin thoughtfully, mysterious aura swirling around him, and Rome spoke.
"Hassan. I know we have not had the best relationship in the past, but as you have said, you are not like the rest of my territories, and that is why I am speaking directly to you, andnothavingyoushovedintothebackofaterrifingwindowlesshorselesschariot." Rome smiled broadly.
Egypt ran his hands through his dark, wavy hair. "What? Err, no. No, I've made my choice. The answer is no. I've only been independent for sixty-two years, and I'm not giving it up anytime soon."
Rome darkened considerably, reclined back in his chair, and snapped his fingers. Suddenly Hungary and Turkey emerged from behind Egypt, Spain and Greece on the balcony, and the Netherlands and Portugal at the doors.
Egypt sat straight up, eyes wide. "What—"
Rome regarded his wine snobbily. "I would advise you to consider your options very carefully."
"My balls. Are. cold." Egypt crossed his legs and rubbed his biceps.
France smirked. "Well, I—"
England captured his arm in a vice grip. "I SWEAR."
France looked sheepish and allowed himself to be carted away.
Spain joined Egypt on the steps of the gazebo, clapping him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, you don't have to wear it all the time. And whenever it's cold or windy, you can just think about Romano!"
Egypt squirmed away from Spain's hand. "Ehrm…yes…we are all aware…"
"Welcome back Egitto!" Egypt was suddenly pounced upon from behind by an overeager Veneziano, toga fluttering majestically in the breeze.
"Ah, Veni…it's nice to see you again…"
Romano emerged, scowling, from the hedge maze. "What about me?"
Egypt opened his mouth to reply, but not before Spain made a dive for Romano.
"LOVI, LOVI! TE AMO! CÁSAME!"
Spain tackled Romano, who had gone deathly pale under his olive tan and let out a strangled squawk as Spain dragged him away, nuzzling his hair. Egypt sighed heavily and rose to free the captive Romano, when his arm was seized by Turkey.
"Egypt. Are you feeling nostalgic? I am. We should spend some more time together, now that we will be seeing each other so often." He chuckled good naturedly.
Egypt kept a neutral expression. "We kept very close company for three centuries, if I remember correctly…and anyway, I'm not your bitch just because we signed a few trade deals."
Turkey grinned carnivorously and took a threatening step towards Egypt. "I never said you were, but maybe Rome isn't the only empire that could reclaim its holdings. Who would—"
Egypt scowled and shoved him away forcefully. Turkey stumbled back, shocked, before running forward and catching Egypt in the jaw with a bruising left hook, knocking him to the ground. Egypt grimaced and snatched up his staff while Turkey towered over him menacingly.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Greece marched up to Turkey and yanked him back.
Turkey growled and shoved Greece off. "Nothing!"
"Really? It didn't look like nothing! It looked like you were fighting with Egypt! Are you...are you—" Greece looked stunned and hurt for a moment.
"What? What did you think I was doing? This?" Turkey snarled angrily, charging Greece and tackling him into the fragrant, flowery greenery. It quickly devolved into a heated, feverish, intense, not at all homoerotic make up wrestling match in the bushes, an unshaken Italy and a somewhat battered Egypt watching on in apathy from the gazebo.
"Ciao, Bella!" Romano struggled wildly, dragging Spain, who was draped over him, hanging from his waist and shoulder, across the cobblestone courtyard. Belgium looked on in concerned amusement.
"Ah, Lovi, eres bello!"
Belgium shrugged and started to walk back towards the villa.
"Amore! Come, let me show you the sights of Rome!" Romano appealed to her desperately as he flailed frantically against Spain, still cooing his adoration up at his captive.
"iMás hermoso que el sol que trae luz al mundo! iTe amo más que la vida! "
"Per Favore! Please, bella! Ti amo!"
"iTe amo tambien, mi cielo!"
Romano laughed hoarsely and hysterically, "Emma! Emma please! I'll do anything!"
Belgium spun around, darkness in her eyes.
Spain whimpered and unlatched from Romano, who shot over to Belgium, clutching her arm in trepidation.
"W-what can I do for you bella?"
Belgium smiled sadistically. "Unleash your mafia upon Switzerland, and burn down all his chocolate factories."
