=A=
Janeway strode into the lecture hall, words on the PADD etched into her mind. It was one of the largest halls at the Academy, as well as one of the best-designed. Excellent acoustics, pleasant color scheme, new furniture, efficient layout. Spacious and inviting.
Part of her duties as Admiral included lecturing at the Academy, and since she had not been assigned to teach her own classes during the spring semester, she was required to give guest lectures. She rather enjoyed teaching, truth be told, and didn't mind the breaks in her sometimes dreary daily schedule. It would have been preferable to teach her own courses, but most admirals were assigned to teach on a rotating basis.
Given a choice, she'd love to take on one or two of the upper-level science courses. Realistically, however, Janeway knew she'd be asked to instruct students on the command track. She sighed inwardly.
While she shook hands with the professor and sat off to the side of his lectern, she reviewed her lecture mentally. A small buzz went up from the students as they recognized her.
"Good afternoon, cadets," the professor finally began after some minutes. "As you know, we have a guest lecturer today, but as always, I have not revealed to you who our lecturer is."
Quiet settled on the students gathered in the hall, all of whom were peering to look down at the compact figure seated near him.
"It's best to keep you on your toes, I think. Surprises keep things interesting," he smiled warmly at them, pausing before gesturing to Janeway and delivering his introduction.
"All of you will instantly recognize this woman as Vice Admiral Janeway, former captain of the returned starship Voyager. If there is anyone more qualified to teach you about the difficulties of navigating Starfleet ethics in unexpected situations, I do not know who it is."
He turned to the Admiral with a twinkle in his eye. "Obviously her reputation precedes her and I believe she needs no introduction. It's entirely my pleasure to welcome Admiral Janeway into our discussion and exploration of ethics. Please give her a warm welcome."
Applause rippled through the hall as she stood and thanked the lanky man once again, taking her place at the lectern. Young faces stared back at her, some more intent than others, all waiting to hear her speak. She smiled.
It wasn't unlike the bridge.
"Let me tell you the first thing I learned about the subject of ethics," she began, her smile widening into a full-on grin. "It's one hell of a subject to tackle unless I've had several cups of coffee."
The cadets smiled, some laughing quietly, as they'd heard stories of Janeway's coffee addiction.
"Which means," she continued more seriously, "you've got to find the thing that centers you and clears your mind if you want to see into the heart of a situation and make sound ethical decisions."
She adopted a wry tone and lowered her voice. "To rephrase that once more for the sleeping cadets who missed it: lapses in judgment can be traced directly back to coffee deprivation. I take no responsibility for actions I may or may not have taken in such states of deprivation."
More laughter.
Janeway moved out from behind the lectern, as it wasn't her style to remain stationary while giving any sort of speech. "But, jokes aside, let me be honest with you. Trying to apply your ethics training as a Starfleet officer aboard a starship can be a daunting task. You will encounter situations that were not covered in any class, manual, textbook, or training situation at the Academy. As I understand it, the point of this course is to prepare you to analyze all types of ethical problems and make tough calls when needed.
"The point of my lecture, specifically, is to show you that sometimes you will need to be creative with your ethical training in order to achieve your goals, because the situations you come across will rarely appear in black and white. I was rather creative, as many of you have read."
The Admiral ruefully smiled. "I didn't always make the best calls."
Her speech was well-written and well-played. It was important to her to acknowledge mistakes to the cadets—to teach them that no officer is perfect and that sometimes we all must make decisions based on incomplete information or in times of extreme emotional distress. The results may not be what anyone intends. To their credit, the cadets seemed to respond well to her honesty about her own experiences, and listened with interest as she revealed her thought process. They needed to understand each of the issues at stake and how to weigh options against ethical training and Starfleet protocol. Janeway was careful to point out where she had deviated from regulation, to reflect on those decisions and their results, and to encourage the cadets to ask questions at the end of the class. The words flowed smoothly as she progressed through her prepared presentation.
She was nearing the end, focusing on personal ethical concerns aboard starships, when her gaze faltered.
Seven of Nine's cool blue eyes studied her from several rows back.
Introductory Starfleet ethics courses were required for all cadets, of course. That was news to no one. Somehow the idea that Seven could be present in the class, however, had just never occurred to Janeway.
And her timing couldn't have been worse.
"In the course of Voyager's journey, one of the most personal ethical concerns I dealt with was the issue of fraternization with my crew."
The words left her mouth as she now stared at Seven, and she winced mentally. As fast as her stunned mind could work, she revised her lecture on the fly, sharply editing it. And she averted her eyes.
"I don't normally make a habit of discussing my personal life, but it has been on display over the past two years. Most of you already know that I refrained from engaging in a relationship with anyone under my command for seven years. Suffice it to say that this was an incredibly taxing decision on my part, but well worth it. If you have further ethical questions on this subject, I'm happy to discuss them after class."
Janeway took a deep breath and finished on a lighter note summarizing her experiences. The sound of applause again reached her ears, some students standing to honor her, but she could not find any satisfaction in it. Her eyes returned to the blonde woman watching her.
"It doesn't matter whether I reciprocate your feelings or not, Seven. You know that I can't enter into a romantic relationship with anyone on this ship."
"I require a definitive answer."
"Think about the irrelevance of what you're asking."
"On the contrary, Captain. I cannot determine if your interest is an illusion I have constructed, or if I am indeed correctly reading your behavior. It is impossible to focus on my duties with the resulting feelings of anxiety, sexual tension, and uncertainty."
"My reply can't possibly be—"
"Your honest response is necessary for me to function at an optimal level. Please assist me by giving it."
"You're putting me in a very difficult position, Seven."
"It is not a complicated question. Naomi Wildman can answer it. Do you reciprocate or not, Captain?"
Janeway closed her eyes briefly, trying to forget the conversation pushing its way through her head. When she opened them, Seven was still gazing steadily at her…across a sea of people who, quite suddenly, ceased to matter.
"I don't."
Seven stood to exit the hall. Janeway swore in her head.
The questions being asked by the students gathered around her bounced off of her hollowly. She answered them with honesty, but without the same level of passion that was present in the rest of her lecture. She prayed they didn't notice.
When they left, after the professor had thanked her and the hall had cleared, she took a deep breath. Then she walked out too.
