Sara meets Mila Babicheva, and wonders what love is.

Sara makes her way back home from the rink with Mila when the redhead suddenly stops. Sara feels instant concern, desperately hoping the other skater isn't coughing up more petals. Luckily, there's no pain to be found on Mila's face, no fear in her blue eyes. She turns to meet Sara's questioning gaze, saying thoughtfully, "You know, I think maybe I should tell the others. About my flowers. It's been a little more than a year since I was told I had three years at the most." Sara pulls out her phone and does her best to hide the fear that runs through her veins. Somehow, she'd forgotten that. It takes effort to force the next words out: "Do you want me to find out when they're free? We could break the news to them over dinner." Mila nods, thoughtful expression still on her face. "Yes, I think that'd be good. Invite Yakov, too." "Okay," Sara says, swallowing hard, eyes fixed firmly on the ground as she tries not to think about how little time she has left with Mila. "Hey," the Russian skater says suddenly, gently tipping Sara's chin up and looking her straight in the eyes. She locks their hands together and says, "Don't worry. It'll work out." Sara does her best to smile in return. The rest of the walk home is in silence, Mila deep in thought and Sara trying to compose herself.

(Sara calls Mickey later. He must hear her shaky voice and how it keeps breaking. He tells her about his day though, and doesn't pry.)

In the end, there's no need for a dinner to tell everyone about Mila's Hanahaki.

It's a bright clear day outside. Sara wishes she didn't have to practice today, that she could go outside instead and enjoy the fresh air. Instead, she's practicing jumps to appease Yakov, who seems to be in a particularly irritated mood. He even yells at Yuuri. Yuuri, who is quite possibly the sweetest person Sara knows and probably couldn't do any wrong even if he tried. Victor looks incredibly affronted when he sees Yakov lecturing his beloved, and spends five minutes just angrily muttering words under his breath. He catches sight of Sara and skates over, not wasting a beat before going on a rant. "Can you believe it?" Victor asks, still glaring at Yakov. "He yelled at Yuuri. Yuuri! My sweet katsudon! Can you believe it?!" Sara's trying to convince the silver-haired man not to go over and give Yakov a piece of his mind ("No Victor, I don't think Yakov would appreciate being cussed out." "WELL I BET YUURI DIDN'T APPRECIATE BEING YELLED AT."), when she hears Yuri Plisetsky shriek.

Yuri Plisetsky shrieking isn't an unnatural occurrence, so at first Sara's not terribly concerned. Georgi probably found another picture of Yuri in cat-ears, courtesy of Yuri's Angels. What he screams next though, makes Sara's heart drop. "Mila, why in fuck's name are you coughing up petals?! What the hell?!"

Everyone, even Yakov, gets to Yuri's part of the rink in record time. The Russian Fairy stares at Mila, who's leaning against the edge of the rink for support, with wide wide eyes. He opens his mouth to say (scream?) something more, then closes it. Sara quietly asks, "Can you breathe alright?" The redhead looks up to meet her eyes and manages a "yes" before coughing up another storm of petals. Sara carefully pulls Mila close, and says, "Let's get off the ice. I think some medication would be good, just in case." Georgi wordlessly offers Mila a hand while Victor and Yuuri move aside, giving them some room. Yuri stays frozen, staring blankly at the purple on the ice until Yakov rests a gentle hand on his shoulder. He follows them off the ice.

After they remove their skates and get Mila settled comfortably on the floor just outside of the rink, Sara finds the medication. Mila doesn't look at anyone as she takes it, and a silence fills the room, broken only by an occasional cough. Finally, Yuuri asks the question she's sure fills everyone's heads: "Is it Hanahaki?" The redhead brushes a stray petal on the corner of her mouth and breathes out a faint reply. "Yes," she says. "I'm sorry."

"Roughly a year ago, I was told I had Hanahaki. I could either get surgery or not. I chose not to, and did my best to continue skating. I told Yakov about it, and then Sara later found out at a competition. I'm on medication to help with any breathing problems, but there's nothing we can do for the coughing. Sara usually makes tea to soothe my throat, but there's not any medicine I can take for it. I didn't tell you guys because I didn't want anyone to know. It's not exactly something to be proud of."

Sara surveys the faces around her. Georgi looks sad, but not surprised. He must've seen it coming, Sara realises. Yakov has an expression of forced calm. Yuuri's buried his head into Victor's chest, who's touching his own throat with full eyes. And Yuri - Yuri looks furious. She doesn't know he's furious at Mila for not getting the surgery or for not telling them, but something has caused his blue eyes to burn with anger.

Before anyone can say anything else, Yuri slams his fists against the wall. "Why haven't you gotten the surgery? It's just pure goddamn idiocy not to!" Mila looks him straight in the eyes and says, "Violet tulips." A look of confusion flickers on his face before anger replaces it. "The fuck? Mila, what the hell does that have t-" "They're the flowers I've been coughing up. They mean," she continues, talking over him, "faithfulness." Yuri's expression loses the fury. Without it, he just looks lost. Like a scared child with nowhere to go. "...so you'll let it kill you?" Yuri asks quietly. "You'll die if it means being faithful, to a person that doesn't even love you back?" The undercurrent of ice beneath his words has disappeared. Mila nods, and whispers, "I guess so." Victor enters the conversation then. "Mila, you can't just throw it all away. Would it really be that bad to get the surgery? You still have time to decide to get it or not. You would forget -" "But at least you'd still be alive," Yuuri says, finishing the sentence. His eyes are red and it breaks Sara's heart to see him like this. The redhead closes her eyes. Her voice is thick when she says, "I might've gotten surgery if it didn't mean forgetting a lot of my memories of skating. And skating is my life."

Sara furrows her brow. Mila doesn't talk about her love at all, so it's all new information to Sara. She wonders who it could be, and wonders why she suddenly feels so jealous at the thought of Mila loving someone. "What the fuck does that even mean?" Yuri growls, interrupting her train of thought. "Who is it? Do I know them? Do they know it's them?" Growing impatient when Mila doesn't respond, he gives a frustrated groan and says, "At least give me a hint." The older skater gives a helpless smile and says, hesitantly, "She's got eyes that match the color of the petals I've been coughing up." Yuri stops to process it (as does everyone else), and Sara runs it through her brain. She knows suddenly, is so sure it hurts, and doesn't know what to say. Yuri must figure it out, too, because he turns to look at Sara and says, "Oh fuck no."

She hears someone gasp (Yuuri?) and sees Victor bury his face in his hands from the corner of her eye. Georgi murmurs something in Russian and Yakov sighs as Yuri lets out a stream of curses. Mila keeps her eyes on the floor. "Mila," Sara hears herself say, "let's go home."

Sara meets Mila Babicheva, and dreams of a happy ending.

Sara starts to categorize her days with Mila as either good or bad.

Good days mean that Sara gets to take her ice skating. It means they get to leave the house and breathe in fresh air.

Bad days mean that Mila coughs and coughs and coughs. It means the bathroom floor is littered with purple and red.

Today, Sara decides, will be a good day. There's been so many bad lately, that it just has to be good.

She wakes up in Mila's bed every day now. (One night, Mila had been out at dinner with Georgi. Sara had felt lonely, so she curled up on Mila's bed and breathed in the familiar smell. She must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew Mila was climbing into bed. All the redhead has said was, "Go back to sleep, you little dork." So Sara pulled Mila close and fell asleep to her breathing. The next day, Mila didn't say anything about it, so neither did Sara. She prepared to go to bed in her little cocoon of blankets as usual when Mila had poked her head over the edge of the bed, blue eyes sparkling as she asked, "Not sleeping on the bed?" Sara let out a startled laugh as the other skater pulled her up, and it became routine.) Nothing happens between them. They just wrap themselves in each other at night and wake up to the sound of each other's breathing in the morning.

This morning, Sara wakes up first.

She makes tea for Mila and coffee for herself. When she makes her way back to the bed, Mila's blinking the sleep away from her blue eyes, yawning as she tries to smooth her messy hair. "Good morning," Sara cheerfully says, handing her the steaming mug. The redhead groans. "No," Mila says, "it's not good. It's too early." The older skater laughs as Mila grumpily sips her tea, and takes a moment to check over the sheets. There's roughly twenty-five petals (too high a number, it's too many) but thankfully no flowers. There's blood though. It stains the petals and Sara pushes the rush of fear down. Mila's still here, she reminds herself. It's okay.

"So," Sara says, glad that she sounds calmer than she feels, "do you think we can go to the rink today?" Mila lights up and nearly drops her drink when she responds, "Yes!" The Italian skater feels a soft, natural smile forming on her face. She's missed skating, too. If Mila doesn't go, Sara doesn't either. (The redhead doesn't feel up to going most days.) "Let's get some food before we go, okay?" Sara says, moving to go try and make something to eat. A hand stops her. "Hm, Mila?" Sara asks, worried that something's wrong. The other skater looks okay, but what if something inside her body is bleeding? Mayb- "Sara," Mila says, "First off, I can tell you're worrying, so stop it. I'm fine. My second point is that you aren't allowed to make breakfast today. You burn the pancakes every time. It's my turn today." Sara laughs and doesn't bother protesting. She's so glad Mila feels well enough to even think of making breakfast. "Fine," she says, "but the burned pancakes are most certainly not my fault. It's your kitchen's fault."

(Mila makes the best pancakes Sara has ever had. Sara maintains that Mila's kitchen has a grudge against her, and that's the only reason Mila can make perfect ones while Sara's are always burned.)

They pull on coats and begin the walk to the rink. Mila calls her mother as they stroll. They speak Russian, too fast for Sara to catch any of the small phrases she's managed to learn. About five minutes in, Mila lets Sara say hi. Sara winces when she hears her own horrible Russian accent. But Mila's mother just laughs and replies in heavily accented English. "Hi Sara! It is good to talk to you!" Then Mila pulls her phone back to ear and continues chatting. The Italian skater can't help but wonder if Mila's mother knows that Sara's the one who's causing her daughter to die. She knows of Mila's Hanahaki, but does she know who caused it? She probably doesn't, Sara decides. How could she treat Sara so kindly if she knew? Mila must somehow sense her morbid thoughts, because she offers a cheery goodbye (one thing Sara can actually understand) and pulls the older skater into a quick hug. "Smile," Mila says, "we're almost there!"

When they finally get inside, Victor announces, "Mila and Sara are here!" Yuuri grins as he waves while Georgi wraps Mila up in a hug. Yakov sighs as he says, "Oh sure, just take a break. Not like we need to work on jumps or anything." The purple-eyed skater knows Yakov well enough by now to understand that there's no real bite behind his words. Looking past him, she sees Yuri. He's actually smiling. She averts her eyes quickly. Yuri rarely lets anyone see him with a genuine smile, and she doesn't want him to morph his expression into a scowl if he sees her staring.

Eventually, everyone goes back to what they were doing before their arrival, whether it's practicing jumps or pestering Yakov ("Yakov I really don't think my costu-" "Yuri you're not getting an animal print costume so give it up." "But Yakov!"). Mila pulls on her skates in record time and tugs Sara along with her. They don't do any complicated jumps or spins, but just skate circles around the rink. Though Mila won't admit it, Sara knows skating circles it about all she can manage to do, maybe even too much. But it's nice to have ice underneath her feet again, and it must be doubly so for Mila, who's spent even less time on the ice than Sara has lately, so she doesn't say anything. It must take more out of Mila than Sara first thought though, because when Sara suggests that they go home, the Russian skater doesn't even protest. She just nods and skates off, undoing her laces quickly. Her goodbyes are rushed, and Sara only figures out why when Mila collapses the moment they're outside. A carpet of petals land on the sidewalk, and Sara hurries to shield Mila from the bystanders' inquisitive eyes, scooping up petals as she does so. There's already been speculation about why the two of them haven't been skating in competitions lately, and the media doesn't need more fuel. In the end, the Italian skater calls a cab. Neither of them feel much like walking.

Once the pair are safely inside their apartment, Mila heads straight for bed while Sara makes more tea. She leaves it on the nightstand beside Mila and climbs in with her. They watch bad TV on the younger skater's laptop until Sara decides that it's lunch time. They eat leftovers from last night (Yuuri was kind enough to make them katsudon) and end up playing a game Yuri's been crazy about lately until dinner (Sara makes macaroni and cheese).

That night, Mila nods off to sleep early. Sara ends up lying next to her, listening to her heart. She's not sure what she would do if it stopped beating. She doesn't even want to think about it. So she closes her eyes and focuses on the steady beat of Mila's heart and tells herself that everything is okay.

Everything isn't okay.

Because when Sara wakes up the next morning, she doesn't wake up to the sound of Mila's breathing. She doesn't wake up to Mila's steady heart beat.

Sara Crispino wakes up to a world where Mila Babicheva is dead.

(She wonders if anything will ever be okay again.)