Disclaimer. i dont own twilight.

Chapter 4.

Everyday I sit here waiting
Every day just seems so long
and now I've had enough with all the hating
do we even care its so unfair
any day it'll all be over
any day there's nothing new
and I'm just trying to find some hope
to try to hold on to
and it starts again it will never end
I'm heavily broken
and I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking?
And I can't even move,

Song; Heavily Broken by The Veronicas

BPOV

When we got home, Alice grudgingly let me go to bed. I walked upstairs and put on the pajamas Alice gave me. She said "at least let me give you something to wear" her idea of bedtime clothes was short shorts with polka dots on them and a blue cami that matched the shorts.

I noticed that with Alice choosing my clothes I was going to need tubs of concealer. I wanted to be honest with them and tell them really how I broke my wrist and foot, instead of lying, but I didn't want them to pity me.

I didn't want to be considered some charity case. I just wanted to forget my father and get on with my life.

When I laid down to go to bed I couldn't sleep, and when I did I fell into a nightmare. Of course it was about Charlie beating me. Actually it was a bout the day he burnt my leg for the first time, it was also the first day he started abusing me. My 8th birthday.

I walked into the kitchen looking for my dad. He was usually home by now. No one was home which worried me. Someone was always here, whether it was dad or a babysitter, he never left me alone.

About 10 minutes later Charlie came in. in his hand was alcohol.

I ran up to him and hugged him saying 'guess what daddy, I am officially 8.' I had a smile on my face. It was the last time I was going to smile for a long time.

He pushed me off of him and walked into the kitchen mumbling something. It didn't occur to me that he was probably drunk. He never drank, or smoked or anything like that. I walked in after him saying "what's wrong daddy?"

He turned around and slapped me. Causing tears to form in my eyes. He had put water on the stove to boil. "You little bitch. Don't talk to me like that." I nodded. And tried to hole the tear back but my face still stung.

"Stop crying, suck it up." He yelled slapping my again, but harder this time. That pushed the tears over the edge.

"I said stop!" he yelled causing me to cry harder. He pulled my by my hair and threw me against the wall causing me to crumple against it. He pulled my up and threw me against it again. My wrist made a sickening cracking noise and pain stabbed threw it.

The water on the stove was boiling rapidly now. Charlie took the pot and held it over me.

He said "here's some more water, for you to cry out." He laughed and poured the water onto my leg. I tried to pull the bottom of my dress over it as I screamed but my broken wrist wasn't any use, and Charlie was stronger then me.

"You little wimp" he said dumping pan into the sink

As he walked out I whimpered "why daddy? Why? What did I do wrong?" he turned around and walked back over to me. He said "everything wrong in my life is your fault!" then he slapped my again.

When he left I looked over my leg. Blisters were already forming; I tried to touch it and screamed.

I woke up then tears running down my face screaming. I immediately stopped and rubbed the place on my leg where the scar from that day was.

Edward came running into my room saying "are you ok? I heard you screaming."

"I'm fine" I said trying to wipe away the tears, but being unsuccessful since they kept coming.

"You don't look fine." He said walking over to me.

"Bad dream, nothing to worry about." I said

"Mind if I ask what it was about" he honestly looked curious.

When I didn't answer he said "you don't have to tell me, just though it might make you feel better if you talked about it. Its obvious it was pretty bad."

I nodded and said

"When I was 8 my dad," I stopped I didn't want to tell him, or did I. I was sick of everyone thinking I was a devil child who hurts herself while her father was a saint. "My dad he uh, he spilt water on my leg" I said rubbing the scar on my leg. "He was drunk and he" I took a deep breath "he poured it on my leg, after he boiled it. And I don't mean just little bubbles; I mean it was rapidly boiling."Tears were streaming down my face.

Edward sat on my bed and wrapped his arms around me, trying to comfort me.

"Do you miss him? Your dad I mean?" Edward asked

"To be honest, no." I said leaving it at that.

We sat there for a little while longer until I had composed myself.

"What time is it?" I asked

"4 o'clock in the morning." He said a smile in his voice. He looked so cute when he had that crooked smile on his face I thought what no, I did not just think that.

I nodded "sorry I woke you up, I didn't mean to."

"It's fine." He said. "And I'm sorry your dad did that."

"I'm over it." I said. To my disbelief he bought it. Or he acted like he did. All that night every time I lied, he always saw through it.

He nodded and said "well I'm going to go back to bed. Maybe you should try to, to. "

I nodded and said "night."

He walked out of the room and I felt a sudden rush of emotion.

When I was little I believed him when he said it was my fault for everything that was wrong in his life, but now I know I was just stupid.

It was his fault for everything that was wrong in my life.

He deserved to die. He did. He deserved it the day he started abusing me.

I tried to go back to sleep. I managed to sleep for another hour or so, but woke up again. This time though I didn't scream.

I got sick of lying in bed so I decided to go downstairs and get something to drink.

Since it was so early, or late however you look at it, no one was up. I walked down the steps as quietly as I could. I almost tripped on the last step, but caught myself. I turned right and walked into the kitchen. It was huge. There was a counter that had stools under it. On the other side of that was the stove and oven. Off to the side was a dinner table, with 6 chairs. The sink was next to the stove and then there was a bout 4 feet of counter space, which had the microwave and toaster. On the bottom were cabinets. Next to the microwave was the fridge. There was a backdoor that led outside into the backyard.

I looked in one of the many cabinets looking for a glass. When I found one I pulled it out and sat it on the counter. I went to the fridge to find something to drink. They had everything. Ginger ale, apple juice, orange juice, milk, coke, grape soda, orange soda, mountain dew, and more. Everything. I pulled out the ginger ale and poured it in the glass.

Ginger ale always made me feel better when I didn't feel good.

I sat down on one of the stools, and thought. Why did my dad really hurt me? One part of my brain asked. The other part said because he's a sick, drunken bastard. It was a good answer. He was always drunk, except for when he went to work. He couldn't have anyone suspecting him could he?

I jumped when I heard someone come into the kitchen.

It was some man I hadn't met before. He looked very much like Emmett and Edward. Except Edward had different eyes.

He looked to be in his mid-thirties early forties.

"Hi, you must be Isabella. I'm Carlisle." The man names Carlisle said

"Please call me Bella. And it's nice to meet you." I said

"I didn't expect to meet you til later, seeing as it's very early but it's nice to finally meet you. Sorry me and Esme couldn't be at the airport when you arrived we had both been called in on an emergency" he said

"It's fine." I said

Carlisle walked over to me. "I see you still have both your casts. I hear you should be having them removed soon."

I was shocked. How did he know? Oh right he was a doctor. I nodded and said "in about two to three weeks"

"May I ask how you explained them to the kids?" Carlisle asked

If what he said earlier shocked me, then this stunned me. "I told them I fell. And I did." Well Atleast I did when I broke my wrist,

"Bella I know about your past, and no I am not going to tell anyone, I was basically sworn to secrecy. It is your life to share with everyone. But I don't recommend keeping it from them for long. Though I'm sure they wouldn't car if you told them in a year opposed to now. Especially alice, she just excited to have a sister." He said

"How do you know?" I asked I was still stuck on the 'I know about your past part.'

"I received your file from the hospital in forks. In it, it states it. But patient confidentiality is strict and I wouldn't dare do that to you." He said

I nodded. And said "well I'm going to go try and sleep for another hour or so. Night." I got up and placed my cup in the sink. He nodded and said "night, Bella."

I walked out of the kitchen and upstairs.

He knows, he knows, he knows, he knows. That just kept repeating in my mind. But he's not going to tell anyone, so what the problem. I honestly didn't know.

When I got up to my room I laid down and tried my best to sleep.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew Alice and Edward were fighting in front of my door.

"She was up late! She needs her sleep." Edward said

"But Edward. She went to be early. And she needs to get clothes for school tomorrow." Alice complained

"Alice you could just go shopping with out her. It's not like your going to actually use her opinion." Edward said

I got up and made sure my bruises and scars were covered, and opened my door.

"Ohh Bella your up" Alice said sending Edward a death glare.

"Yea" I said.

"So. Do you want to go shopping? You still need clothes for tomorrow." Alice said

I was absolutely dreading tomorrow, 'cause tomorrow I had to wear a skirt to school, and I was the new kid. That's never fun.

"Sure" how bad could shopping be? I had never actually gone myself.

"You don't know what you just got yourself into" Edward whispered in my ear.

"Okk, so I'll go get you an outfit for you to wear." Alice said heading to her room.

"Umm, Alice." I said when she turned around I continued "can I please, please, please, wear one of my own outfits." I was begging. I didn't want to wear a skirt or shorts. I wanted to wear one of my long sleeve shirts and jeans.

"Bellaaaa" she said "there ugly."

"To you maybe" I mumbled

"Fine, but I get to get you more stuff" Alice said

I nodded even though I didn't want her spending money on me. I hated when people did that, though no one ever really did. I had taken care of myself since I was 8 and I didn't anyone else trying to.

When Alice left Edward said "you really have no idea what you just agreed to do you?"

I shook my head. "It can't be that bad can it?" I asked

He laughed and said "good luck" then he walked back into his room.

I turned back into my room, and took my boot off. I never took it off last night. I pulled off the shorts and put on a pair of light jeans. On my right foot I put on a white sneaker, and then pulled my boot back on.

I pulled off the cami and pulled on my favorite black shirt. It was long sleeve and didn't expose my chest, and it fit the limited curves that I had. No cover up was needed. I figured that if I wore my hoodie I would overheat so I didn't put it on.

When I walked out of my room I ran into somebody, I closed my eyes and tried to stop myself from hitting the ground. When no impact came I opened my eyes. Edward was holding me up so I wouldn't fall.

He stood me up on my feet and said "sorry."

I shook my head and said "I really should pay more attention to were I'm going."

He smiled a crooked smile and laughed. "Yea maybe"

He looked my over and said "good luck getting out the door in that."

I laughed and said "why?" what was wrong with my outfit?

"You are going to be so hot. This place is hot. Not like Washington."

I nodded and said "Atleast I'm not wearing my hoodie"

"No doubt that would give alice a heart attack." He laughed

At that exact moment Alice came down the hall saying "Bella are you ready?"

I looked at her and nodded.

She squealed and said "okk, lets go."

Edward whispered in my ear "good luck" I tried my best to suppress the shiver.

Alice dragged me down the stairs and out of the house. When we got to the garage, she pulled me over to a yellow Porsche!

"Alice this is your car?" I asked in awe

She nodded and said "yupp"

I got in the passenger seat while Alice started the car.

We drove for 5 minutes or so before we arrived at the mall. It was huge! And I don't mean like your normal mall that has 2 floors, maybe three with 30 – 50 stores. I mean it was 4 or 5 floors with many, many stores.

When I looked at Alice's face it showed an expression of pure joy. We got out and Alice all but ran to the front doors.

When we got inside she dragged me to the closest store and started throwing clothes 'I would look good in' at me.

After half an hour I was so bored, and tired, but Alice wouldn't hear of it. We already had 11 bags, and Alice was planning on spending the whole day here.

We went to this store called rainbow for the plaid skirts, and the shirts. Alice made me get 2 skirts in each color, and like 5 or 6 shirts in black and white.

By the end of the day we had made 4 trips back and forth between the car because we couldn't carry everything.

Alice got annoyed that we had to waste precious time going back and forth.

Around 1 we went to the food curt and ate lunch. Alice got a cheese steak sub while I got a slice of cheese pizza.

"So Bella, it isn't that awful shopping with me, as everyone says. Is it?" Alice asked

I wanted to say yea its not, its worse, but the look on her face made me think otherwise. "Yea, definitely not as bad"

She smiled a huge smile. When we were done eating we went to go find another store.

Alice dragged me into an Old Navy store. I looked through the clothes waiting for Alice to give me the clothes she wanted me to try on even though she was going to get them even if I didn't like them.

I noticed Alice walking towards 10 minutes later arms full of clothes.

When we were done looking through the clothes and Alice had paid for everything we left. When we got home it took us 4 trips to get everything inside. I noticed Edward laughing at the top of the stairs when I came in with the last of the bags. I sent him a death glare which only made him laugh harder.

"Where's Emmett? We got him some stuff too. " Alice asked him

"He's at rose's and jazz's" Edward said once he calmed down

"Ohh, cool. Ill take their stuff to them now. You want to come Bella? " Alice asked picking up the bags that had jaspers and Rosalie's stuff in them.

"No I think I'm going to go unpack" I said picking up what I could carry.

"Okk, see you guys later." Alice said "ohh and Bella, you can give Edward his stuff too, and just leave Emmett's down here."

I nodded and walked upstairs to the best of my ability.

It took me and hour to put away half the clothes Alice bought me. I put the clothes I had to wear for school in on section of the closet, and the everyday stuff in the drawers and the rest of the closet.

I put on one of the school outfits and looked to see what I looked like. It looked cute, but it showed a lot of skin. I hadn't put any cover up on today so you could see all the scars and bruises.

I forgot my door was open when I heard Edward gasp. In my doorway stood Edward and Alice both with horror stricken faces. When had Alice come back?

I gave them a confused look then realized they hadn't actually seen the bruises of scars. I just stood there like an idiot and so did they.

EPOV

I was walking to my room when I bumped into Alice. She was in front of Bella's room just staring in there when I looked in there; there stood Bella looking in the mirror. She was wearing the school uniform, and didn't have her boot on.

I was about to ask Alice what was the matter, when I saw what she was looking at. Bella had bruises and scars all over her body. I gasped causing Bella to realize that we were standing there. She looked horrified. Why would she do this? I wondered to myself. Who could do this to themselves? She didn't seem like the kind of girl who would hurt themselves.

"Bella," Alice said, she was probably thinking the same thing as me. She also had tears in her eyes. "How could you do this?"

Bella looked down then said "I didn't want you guys to know, well not yet anyway."

Know what that in her spare time she cut and bruised herself?

"Know what Bella?" Alice asked in a hurt tone

"About my past" she mumbled

I couldn't take it anymore. I turned and walked straight into my room, and closed the door.

I was lying in my bed when a thought hit me maybe she didn't fall and brake her foot and wrist, but it was intentional.

After a while I got hungry, I walked out of my room and downstairs to the kitchen. Bella was there eating a peanut butter sandwich. Though she wasn't really eating, she was just staring at it. She was back in her original clothing. Clothes that showed no skin.

She didn't even look up when I came in, and she looked deep in thought. I got myself a pop-tart from the pantry and sat down. As down as I sat down, she looked up. Bella had tears in her eyes, and it made my heartache.

"Bella," I said trying to think of something else to say "why?" was all that came out

She looked confused "why what?" she said in a small voice. She had obviously been crying.

"Why would you do that?" I said

"I didn't do it." She said defensively

"Then who did?" I asked sincerely

She got up and walked to the door. When she got there she stopped and whispered what sounded like "my father."

Realization hit me and I suddenly felt horrible. How could I have just thought she would hurt herself like that? I didn't even think of other possibilities. I was such a jerk to her. She didn't do it to herself, her father abused her.


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