Chapter 4
Spike woke up with a start upon seeing Starlight staring down at him. Rubbing at his eyes, he glared up at her and barked, "What in Celestia's name are you doing!?"
"Watching you sleep, cutie pie," Starlight replied, grinning. "Come on! Let's go! Twilight's already got breakfast on the table."
Spike blinked. "Twilight cooked?"
Starlight sputtered her lips and waved a hoof. "Oh, don't be ridiculous. Of course not. I assisted Trixie with the cooking this morning. Now come on, I'm starved!"
Sighing, Spike got out of bed and followed Starlight out the bedroom door.
"So what would you like to do today, Spike?" Starlight asked as the two of them walked down the streets of Ponyville. "We've got the whole day to ourselves."
Spike shrugged. "I don't know."
"Well, we could go to the park, go to Sugarcube Corner, have lunch at Barnyard Pete's ––"
"We just ate! Literally, we just got done eating breakfast! You had a huge stack of pancakes, how are you still hungry?"
"Nopony ever said you only had to eat three meals a day, Spike."
"Whatever. You know, now that I think of it, there is a play that I've been wanting to see down at the local theater."
"Great, let's go!"
Starlight and Spike weren't the only ones in the theater when they arrived. It seemed as if the children from the local schoolhouse were on some kind of field trip. The youngsters took up a majority of the seats in the house, but there were quite a few full-grown ponies to be found among the many faces as well. Spike spotted the Cutie Mark Crusaders amongst the crowd and decided to join them, giving a friendly wave to Miss Cheerilee, who gave him a a smile and a friendly nod in kind. This, of course, left Starlight by her lonesome. She didn't seem to particularly mind. In fact, based on how he had been acting around her as of late, she had, on their way to the theater, pretty much predicted that Spike would stray from her as soon as they entered the theater. Thankfully, this gave her the perfect opportunity to look for a familiar face in the crowd, and, after scanning for a moment or two, she finally found it, or rather, them.
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sat amongst their classmates, the two of them chatting with each other while they waited for the play to begin. Starlight smiled to herself. While their names slipped her mind, she was still able to recognize their faces. Who could forget that cute little braid, those geeky little glasses, that curly, two-toned tail? Without missing a beat, she stood up and strode over to the pair. It took them a moment to realize that they weren't alone, the shadow falling over them when she approached being a pretty good indicator of this fact. Upon their gazes meeting each other's, she very politely asked if it would be okay if she joined them. They turned to each other, silently discussing it in hushed tones, before turning back to her and nodding their heads, and she promptly sat down next to Silver Spoon, using her rear end to gently nudge Pipsqueak aside, her tail beating against the side of his head in the process. If the colt didn't know any better, he'd swear that the mare was shaking her behind in his face on purpose. Nonetheless, he moved aside, being grateful for the closeness that being by Rumble, Button Mash, Chowder, and Featherweight provided him, and the five colts quickly got into a heated debate regarding which of the Cutie Mark Crusaders was the best kisser. Starlight's ear twitched as she caught snippets of the conversation here and there, but otherwise kept her attention fixed on the stage in front of her, but she mostly kept her eyes on Silver Spoon, and Diamond Tiara, both of whom had once again started up their conversation, almost as if the mare wasn't there.
The lights dimmed. The curtain was raised. The audience applauded as the stage lights came on, and a tan pony with a dark brown mane and tail stepped out onto the stage. . . .
The play itself, more or less, was a love story regarding a same-sex couple, one that many of the fillies and other females in the audience found quite engaging and interesting, whereas a majority of the males didn't find quite as entertaining as the females. Every time the couple would kiss, hug, cuddle, or tell each other how much they loved the other, all of the females in the room would let out a collective, "Awww", whereas the males would either retch or verbalize their disgust. Starlight couldn't help but feel that, had the roles been reversed – that is to say, had the play been about two lesbians in love – the reactions themselves would have been reversed – the females would be disgusted and the males would have been getting cum all over the floor. This mental image in her mind's eye caused Starlight's loins to be set ablaze, and she had to stifle a moan by way of biting her lower lip. Throughout the entirety of the performance, her hoof had been constantly slipping over to rest on Silver Spoon's thigh, and the filly would, in quite the aggravated manner, roughly shove her hoof off. That was where Starlight's hoof was when her vulva was set on fire, and she gave the filly's thigh a tight squeeze to steady herself. This action proved to be quite the undesired one on Silver Spoon's end, as the filly angrily smacked her hoof. Starlight bit down on her free hoof to hold in the yelp of pain she wanted to release.
At long last, the play itself came to a close, and the audience, though it was mostly the females, jumped to their hooves and stomped their hooves in applause. Looking around, however, Starlight noticed that a decent-sized portion of the males in the room were clapping quite enthusiastically. Looking over, she saw that Spike was one of them, standing alongside the Cutie Mark Crusaders as the four friends cheered, whooped, whistled, and applauded while the actors and actresses took their bows one by one. Each subsequent bow from a performer resulted in the applause and cheers growing ever louder, until the applause itself was quite deafening. This mattered little to the audience, nor did it matter in the slightest to the actors up on stage themselves, as they relished in the praise before retreating backstage to take off their costumes and congratulate each other on a job well done. This left the audience with nothing to do but depart from the theater to head home.
Almost as soon as the room was empty, Silver Spoon turned to Starlight and hissed, "What was with you? You had your hoof on my thigh the entire time?"
"Oh, sorry about that." Starlight smiled and patted the filly on the head. "I just really had to use the bathroom. I'll tell you what. Let me go use the restroom really quick and then I'll walk you girls home."
The two fillies looked at each other, unsure of whether or not to accept the mare's offer. They shrugged their shoulders and nodded their heads at her. She beamed and exclaimed, "Great!" before turning and trotting out of the room, down the hall, and towards the ladies' restroom, leaving the two fillies by themselves.
Diamond Tiara turned to Silver Spoon. With a raised eyebrow, she asked, "Bail?"
Silver Spoon nodded her head. "Bail!" She scooted behind her friend and began pushing her towards the door. "Come on, let's get out of here! Quick, before she comes back!"
"I heard that!"
"Okay, girls, are you ready to ––" Starlight halted in mid-step, her sentence being cut off as she observed that she was the only one in the auditorium. She frowned to herself, turning slowly and walking in a sulking manner out of the room. Briefly, she wondered where Spike was, but didn't see any sign of him while she made her way out of the theater. By now, Miss Cheerilee and the rest of the class had gone home, it being late in the afternoon. Using her hoof as a visor, she scanned the area for any sign of Spike, but still came up empty. She sighed to herself, all the while wondering, Now what? Shrugging her shoulders, she figured she might as well head on home. Perhaps Trixie and Twilight could provide her with some entertainment. Even as this thought entered her head, her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and she hoped that she would get to see them again sometime soon. They were awfully cute fillies for their age, after all, especially that Silver Spoon, and she would be delighted to spend some time with them.
As soon as he was out of sight of Starlight Glimmer, Spike hightailed it back to the castle and stayed in his room for the remainder of the day. He was just lucky that he'd been able to conceal himself within the throng of fillies and colts while they had made their way out of the auditorium. Once he was safely outside, he was home free to do as he wished. It wasn't until dinnertime that he ventured out of his room, if only due to his own hunger. He smelled no food being cooked, heard no dishes being washed, nor heard the rattle of pots and pans, like he usually did on a normal evening. Looking into the kitchen, he didn't see Starlight, Trixie, or even Twilight. He blinked, wondering where in Equestria they might be.
Walking in the living room, he spotted Trixie on the couch, lounging on her belly while she busied herself with reading a book on advanced magic spells. She spotted him out of the corner of her eye and a smirk grew on her face. "Trixie has her first show in six months. You remember, right? Trixie is performing a show after the Applewood Derby." She waved her hoof. "Go on, be impressed by me."
"Where are Starlight and Twilight?" Spike asked.
Trixie frowned. "'Oh, that's great, Trixie. I'm so happy for you.'"
"Trixie, I'm happy for you. Really, I am. Now could you please answer my question?"
"They went out."
"Really? Did they say when they were going to be back?"
"No, they didn't. They went to go see a play in Canterlot, one written by the great William Neighspeare."
Spike breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank you, sweet, merciful Celestia."
Trixie glowered at him and hopped down to the floor. "Alright, dragon, what's with you lately?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've been in a really pissy mood ever since Starlight showed up here. What is going on!?"
"That's what I'm trying to figure out!"
Trixie growled and stomped a hoof. "Why can't you just be happy for me, be happy for Twilight!? She's happy now that Starlight's back! I'm happy now that Starlight's back! You're the only one of us who isn't happy with her being here! Why!?"
Spike didn't answer. He looked down at the floor.
Trixie spat on the floor. "You don't remember a thing that happened when Starlight was here!? Well, I do! I remember you talking trash aboud Starlight and ––"
"Well, what did I used to say!?" Spike cried in exasperation.
"Just stop!" She shook her head. "You were always stealing Starlight's attention away from me! Always! I hated it then and I hate it now! You and your damn backwards pajamas!"
Spike's jaw dropped open, his eyes widened. "Oh, my . . ." he muttered under his breath. "Oh, my . . ." He quickly turned and darted out of the room.
"Now where are you going!?" Trixie called after him.
"I'm crashing at Applejack's! I'll see you tomorrow!"
Spike wandered aimlessly among the streets of Ponyville, going down alleyways, going through backyards, climbing over fences, walking between the various buildings. Though he wasn't sure how, his wandering eventually led him to Sweet Apple Acres, despite the fact that he hadn't actually planned on going there. Him saying that he would be crashing at Applejack's had just been an excuse to get Trixie off his back. Where he was wasn't on his mind anyhow.
"You and your damn backwards pajamas!"
"Silly Spikey-wikey, you put your pajamas on backwards again. Now you be a good boy, Spikey-wikey, while Auntie Starlight fixes them for you."
He stumbled across the barn in his mindless wandering. Over to his right, out of the corner of his eye, he could see the farmhouse that the Apple family occupied. All of the lights in the house were off. No doubt the Apples were fast asleep by now. They weren't exactly sound sleepers. Even so, surely they wouldn't mind if he spent the night. After all, Applejack and the other Apples had made it clear that he was welcome over at Sweet Apple Acres anytime he felt like it.
There was no shortage of hay within the barn, Spike discovered as he walked in. He imagined that hay wasn't exactly comfortable, that it didn't make for an ideal bed, but he would have to make due with what he had. He wasn't about to knock on Applejack's door in the middle of the night and ask if he could sleep with her. Not that he didn't think she would object, mind you, but he didn't feel like waking her up. What time was it, anyway? He wasn't entirely sure, but he hardly cared at the moment. There was little doubt in his mind that both Twilight and Starlight, despite his actions the previous evening, would be worried about him when they came home to find that only Trixie was home. Surely she would inform them as to where he had gone, so there would be no need for either of them to worry. They could rest soundly knowing that he was safe at Sweet Apple Acres while in Applejack's care.
As he climbed onto the nearest pile of hay he could find, he suddenly found himself wishing that he had a blanket. It was warm out, it being summer after all, but, still, a blanket would be comforting nonetheless. Sighing, he rolled over onto his side, drawing his legs up to his chest, his tail curling between them, and he instinctively grabbed at the pointed tip and hugged it, giving it a gentle squeeze, all while the words of Trixie and Starlight reverberated in his head.
"You and your damn backwards pajamas!"
"Silly Spikey-wikey, you put your pajamas on backwards again. Now you be a good boy, Spikey-wikey, while Auntie Starlight fixes them for you."
He fell asleep with these words echoing in his head over and over again. It made for a very restless night.
Eventually, sleep did find Spike, but all too soon, it was morning, and Spike found himself being gently poked at by an insistent hoof. Upon awakening, his first instinct was to tell the intruder to buzz off. Why couldn't Trixie just leave him alone and let him sleep in for once? But then, suddenly, he recollected that he wasn't at home in his nice, warm bed. He wasn't at Twilight's castle. And the hoof that was poking him certainly wasn't Trixie's. He didn't recall Trixie's hoof having so much muscle. Slowly, his eyes opened, and he soon realized just why his body itched so much. He ever so slowly turned his head in the direction of the hoof that had thankfully stopped poking at him. There stood Applejack, giving him a concerned look. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Looking out the barn window, he was taken aback to realize that the sun was just beginning its ascent into the sky. He could just barely make out the sun over the hills that occupied Sweet Apple Acres.
"Spike, honey, what are ya doin' way out here? Is everything okay?"
Hearing Applejack's voice brought his attention back to her. She still had that concerned look on her face. He yawned and stretched. Once more, he rubbed at a tired eye as he asked, "What time is it?"
"Five thirty in the mornin'," Applejack replied.
"Ugh! It's too early."
"Ah'm sorry, sugarcube. Ah was just checkin' on the cows when Ah noticed ya."
Hearing a slurp, Spike looked down to see that Applejack was holding a coffee mug, from which she was drinking her coffee. While he had never been much for coffee, the sweet scent and the warmth it provided suddenly stirred within him an impulse to have some, so much so that he started reaching for it without even realizing it.
Applejack laughed. "Hold on there, sugarcube. If ya want some coffee, yer gonna have to get yer own." She motioned for him to follow her. "Come on inside and get yerself some breakfast." She started walking towards the barn door.
As if on cue, Spike's stomach gave a mighty growl, prompting him to jump to his feet and follow Applejack out the barn door. She thankfully didn't ask him any questions as the two made their trek from the barn to the farmhouse, which, given their proximity to each other, didn't take long at all. Even so, it felt like a long time to Spike, as his mind was still full, recalling the argument he had had with Trixie just before he had hightailed it out of there, and her voice, along with that of Starlight's, that had plagued his mind long into the night. Even Applejack's bobbing tail, which swung back and forth in time with the movement of her hips, wasn't enough to distract him. He kept his gaze directed towards anywhere besides Applejack's rear end. Not that he would have noticed it anyway, as his mind wouldn't shut up. Perhaps it would have benefited Spike to keep his eyes locked on Applejack's rump, for as she came to a stop to open the front door with her free hoof, he ended up bumping into her. She seemed to not notice as she stepped to the side and gestured for him to go in, giving him the honor of entering before her.
It was funny. Despite all the multiple times he had been over at Sweet Apple Acres, Spike had ventured inside the Apple family abode only once in his lifetime, so he naturally took a moment to stop and observe upon entering the house. The kitchen was just to his left, the living room just to his right, while the parlor that housed the stairs were just in front of him. He turned his head, hearing the sounds of Applejack's hoofbeats, and he didn't hesitate to follow her inside the kitchen. Stationed at the stove was Big Mac, busily flipping some flapjacks on a pan over the stove. The coffeemaker rested on the counter a few feet to the right of the stallion.
"Go on and fix ya a cup of coffee if ya want, sugarcube," Applejack said, smiling at Spike. "No need to be shy, just go on and make yerself at home." She proceeded to get a mug down for him, followed by plates and glasses, and went about setting the table so the rest of the family could eat.
"Thanks," Spike said, seizing the mug that had been laid out for him and proceeding to fix himself some coffee. Before he could say anything, Applejack had already set out a jug of milk and a canister that held at least a full gallon of sugar beside him. He gave her a grateful smile, busying himself with pouring in as much milk and sugar as he desired into his mug.
"Mornin', Spike," Big Mac said, giving the dragon a nod. "What brings you around here?"
"I'd . . . rather not talk about it," Spike said, loud enough for Applejack to hear.
"Well, that's just fine," Applejack said, patting Spike on the back, causing him to spill some of his coffee down his front, as she had done so while he'd been busy taking a sip of the stuff. "Oh, sorry."
Coughing, Spike set the full mug down on the counter and used a dish towel to wipe himself clean. Once he'd gotten his coughing under control, he said, "It's fine, no harm done."
"Breakfast is just about ready," Big Mac announced. To Spike, he added, "Yer more than welcome to join us if you'd like." He started putting the pancakes on a plate and carrying them over to the table, where Applejack was currently sitting, still drinking her own coffee.
Spike's eyes followed him. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I wouldn't want to impose."
"Nonsense," Applejack cried, slamming down her mug, sounding as if she'd been personally offended by the very notion. "We're friends, and that makes ya family, sugarcube."
"Eeyup," Big Mac agreed with a nod of his head.
"Big Mac, why don't ya go on up and get Apple Bloom and Granny Smith?" Applejack suggested.
"Eeyup." Big Mac started headed up the stairs.
Now it was just Spike and Applejack left in the room. Spike grabbed his coffee mug and took little sips here and there, keeping his eyes focused on the floor. Just as long as his eyes weren't focused on Applejack, that meant that he didn't have to talk to her, which meant that he wouldn't have to explain why she'd found him in her barn.
Clearing her throat, Applejack said, "So, Spike, everything going okay at home?" He nodded, taking a large drink of his coffee. "Are ya gettin' along with Trixie and Starlight?" He nodded again, and she smiled. "Well, that's good. Ah don't mean to pry, sugar, but are ya sure there's nothin' ya wanna talk to me about?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," he replied.
"Are ya sure? Ya look like ya have something on yer mind."
He shook his head. "No, I'm just thinking up ideas for my cart."
"Ah, right, the Applewood Derby." If possible, her smile widened. "It's nice that y'all are competin' with Trixie this year. Apple Bloom and all o' 'er friends are real excited about it, too. They've been workin' up a storm on their carts since the race was first announced. It's sure to be one heck of a good race this year. Speakin' of which, how's yer cart comin' along?"
"We haven't gotten started yet," he said. "With Starlight being back, Trixie and me have been kind of distracted."
Applejack chuckled. "Yeah, it figures y'all would be. Y'all haven't seen hide or tail of Starlight since she left last year, have ya?" He shook his head. "But y'all have been keepin' in touch by writin' each other letters, haven't ya?"
"Twilight has, not so sure about Trixie."
Applejack titled her head at that. "Really? Ah figured those two would be writin' each other letters back and forth."
"Trixie's been busy with her magic act."
"Oh. Well, Ah guess that makes sense. So" – she sighed – "are ya sure there's nothin' else ya wanna talk to me about?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Nothin' at all?"
"Yep."
"Nothin' on yer mind?"
"Nope."
"Well, alright, then. Just for the record, if there was somethin' goin' on, y'all would tell me, right?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Spike, yer a terrible liar. Ya say there's nothin' ya wanna talk about, but there's clearly somethin' botherin' ya."
"How do you know?" He took another sip of his coffee, holding it tightly in his claws.
"Yer eyes gave ya away. Yer mouth says one thing, yer eyes say a totally different thing. Ya look like yer about to cry."
"I . . ." There was suddenly a large lump in Spike's throat, and his chest ached.
"Is this about Trixie? Ah know y'all don't always see eye to eye, but she's not a bad pony. Just 'cause she made a coupla mistakes don't mean she's a bad pony. She's got a good heart, ya know."
"Yeah, I know."
Applejack leaped down from her seat and walked over to him, sitting back on her haunches as she placed a comforting hoof on his shoulder, and fixed him with a worried look. "Sugarcube, y'all can talk to me about anythin'. Ah won't get mad. Now come on, what's botherin' ya? Does it have somethin' to do with Starlight? Y'al have been actin' weird ever since she first showed up."
At the very mention of Starlight, Spike felt his body tense up, an action that doubtfully went unnoticed by Applejack. Even as she did notice, she didn't say anything. "It's nothing, Applejack, really."
Applejack fixed him with a skeptical look, but nonetheless dropped the subject. Sighing, she said, "Well, alright, then. If ya don't wanna talk about it, ya don't have to." Sitting up and turning, she started walking back over to her seat, looking at him over her shoulder as she said, "But when yer ready to talk, just remember that Ah'm always here to lend an ear if ya need to talk to somepony." She hopped back up onto her seat and took a sip of her coffee, licking her lips.
Spike gave her a grateful smile. "Thank you, Applejack."
Breakfast went by uneventfully for Spike. While Apple Bloom talked about the plans she had with her friends during the day, Applejack and Big Mac talked about their own plans, deciding who would do what. Big Mac decided to take up apple bucking for the day while Applejack handled the market. Throughout their conversation, Applejack kept casting a worried glance over at Spike, who was busy talking with Apple Bloom, the filly attempting to talk the dragon into joining her and her friends on their plans. The dragon politely declined, saying that the idea sounded fun, but that he really needed to get to work on making his cart for the Applewood Derby. Despite his cheerful demeanor, Applejack couldn't nudge away the thought that there was something bothering the drake. It seemed as if even Granny Smith had caught onto this fact, as she too was giving Spike a concerned look, and the two Apples shared a worried look with each other before Granny Smith politely dismissed herself from the table to finish work on a quilt she'd been working on.
Seeing as how Big Mac had prepared breakfast, it was Applejack's turn to wash dishes before heading out. Spike and Apple Bloom offered to help, but she declined, telling them that they could head on out to do what they wanted while she busied cleaning the kitchen. While Apple Bloom headed off to the clubhouse where she held her Cutie Mark Crusaders meetings with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, Spike was left heading towards the entrance, intent on heading back to home.
Upon getting home, Spike grabbed his diary and a quill. Dipping the quill in his inkwell, he wrote:
I think I might be gay. What do I do?
