Notes: Many thanks to Lisa and Kazaam for all the help with this chapter! And the ideas of insane Sephiroth's view on Zack and Cloud, and Aerith meaning business, are also Lisa's. Also, I needed to think of a plausible reason why the characters can't do anything during the long time it takes Seph to cast Supernova, so I decided they could be temporarily paralyzed.


Chapter Four

Aerith looked around at the trio now gathered in the living room. Kadaj was impatient, as always. His arms were crossed and he was shifting his weight, looking as though he wanted to begin pacing the room. Yazoo was standing straight, his arms at his hips, looking bored. And Loz just looked confused. He could see that Kadaj was distraught about something, and he wondered what on earth it was.

They were such an fascinating and unique group of siblings, so very different in personality. Each one of them represented a certain part of Sephiroth's soul, but they all had their own traits. Kadaj could be so childish, when he felt like it. By contrast, Yazoo was vague and serious. And Loz fit somewhere in between. Aerith loved them all.

"Alright," Aerith said, leaning back with a small smile. "Now, I told Kadaj, when he asked, that your father had to go away to see a friend. This friend is someone who has needed help for a while, and your father is determined to be the one to get through to him. Then he'll be bringing his friend back here."

Kadaj frowned. "To live?!" he cried.

"I think so," Aerith nodded. Zack had not actually asked Aerith about that, figuring that it was something that should not or could not take place. He had not even wanted to mention it, considering what Sephiroth had done. But Aerith had been doing a good deal of thinking, and she had come to the decision that it would be best for Sephiroth to stay there. He would not have to be alone then. Zack could better help him to stay sane that way. And the boys should get adjusted to him, since he was Zack's friend. Kadaj needed to see that he was not in danger of being displaced. But of course, she would not simply decide such a thing without discussing it with them first.

"If he's such a special friend, why didn't Father go help him before?" Yazoo asked suddenly, his tone unmoved, his expression deadpan.

Aerith smiled in a melancholy way. "Because for years he's seemed beyond help," she said. "Your father has tried before."

"Why won't you tell us who it is, Mother?" Kadaj exclaimed, his distress obvious.

Aerith sighed. Here was the difficult part. It was hard to say how Yazoo and Loz would react, but Kadaj's reaction was almost a sure thing. "Zack knew him for years in the SOLDIER organization," she said. "He was the most renowned general in the army, leading Midgar to victory against the Wutai rebellion."

Kadaj's pupils were contracting to catlike slits. "No!" he burst out. "No, Mother, you can't really mean it's . . ."

Aerith nodded. "It's Sephiroth," she said.

Kadaj uncrossed his arms, stamping his foot in a childish way. "Sephiroth is not going to come here to live!" he cried. "I knew it, I knew he's been watching! You love him the best, Mother!" He turned, facing the door. "I'm not going to let him stay here!"

Aerith frowned, placing her hands on her hips. "It isn't a decision you can make all by yourself, Kadaj," she scolded. "I called all of you here so we could discuss it . . . calmly."

Yazoo looked to Kadaj, still showing indifference. And he truly was blasé. Kadaj, Sephiroth. . . . It did not matter much to him, since he and Loz had always been more expendable anyway. Though of course he cared about Kadaj, he also felt that there was not a reason for him to become so incensed. "You'd better do what she says, Kadaj," he said. "When she puts her hands like that, she's serious about it."

Kadaj stopped by the door, his fists clenched, not turning around. "There's nothing to talk about," he grumbled.

"Sephiroth has been alone for years," Aerith said. "He's been lost in the fog over his mind, pushing away everyone who cares about him. But your father found out that there's still a chance to save him and bring him back." She looked hard at Kadaj. "If it was one of your brothers, Kadaj, wouldn't you do everything you could for him, no matter what he'd done?" She crossed her arms.

Kadaj glared at the floor. "That's different," he said. Yazoo and Loz were not Sephiroth. They had not tried to take away Mother's attention and love for Kadaj. And he had been with them all his life. Sephiroth he had never met; Sephiroth was just an ominous presence constantly lurking in the back of his mind.

"Sephiroth is like a brother to your father," Aerith told him. "Can't you give him a chance, just for a little bit?"

Loz, who had been silent all this time, finally spoke. "Doesn't he deserve that much? I mean, we were all taken in, and we did some pretty bad things too, Kadaj."

Kadaj whirled back around. "It's not about what he's done!" he cried. "It's about Mother's love! Mother always loved Sephiroth best!"

Loz shifted uncomfortably. He did not like being at the center of attention in a discussion such as this, but Yazoo did not seem to intend to say anything more. And what Loz was thinking of needed to be said.

"Yeah . . . but you know . . . this isn't the Mother we were looking for all that time," he said. "She isn't the one who loved Sephiroth best. She's someone else, someone who really wanted us to come here and to be Mother for us."

"I know that!" Kadaj exclaimed. "But this Mother will still love Sephiroth best! Sephiroth is always the most important one!"

"I love Sephiroth because he's your father's friend," Aerith interrupted. "And I love the three of you because I'm raising you like my children. It's different kinds of love." She smiled again. "I will never love Sephiroth more than any of you."

Kadaj looked away. He wanted to believe that, and he knew Aerith would not lie to him. But it was something that had been so deeply ingrained within his soul after all the years of knowing he was playing second fiddle to Sephiroth. Mother had always wanted him for her plans. Kadaj had just been a replacement, a puppet, a means to the end of getting Sephiroth. Then he had been discarded.

"If Sephiroth comes here, don't expect me to be nice," he muttered.

Aerith sighed to herself. Well . . . it was a start, at least.


Zack swallowed hard, gripping his sword in his gloved hands. Seph was still aloft nearby, gazing down at him. He wanted to fight, but Zack did not know how he would stand it again. He had just come through the battle with Bizarro. Now he saw that Seph was okay from that, but what about what would happen during this fight? If this was the real Seph, then Zack really would hurt him. But . . . Seph did not have a way to take on the Safer form, did he? How could he? He had that one wing that the scientists had grafted in, but wasn't that all? Wouldn't Seph have told him if there were others? Maybe this was another illusion.

Somehow he found his voice. "Seph . . . how?" he choked out, staring up at him. "How do you have all those wings?"

"Does it matter to you?" Sephiroth looked down at him, his voice and eyes stony.

"Of course it matters, Seph!" Zack cried. "Anything to do with you has always mattered to me!"

"How touching." Sephiroth rose higher into the sky. "Then you should enjoy my Pale Horse assault."

Zack gritted his teeth. If he could only talk some sense into his friend, to get the sane side to come out and take control . . . !

"Seph, I don't want to fight you," he pleaded. "Come on, didn't we do that enough at Nibelheim? I'm just finally seeing you again. I don't want to hurt you!"

Sephiroth looked at him without mercy. "Then do nothing, and suffer the consequences!" he answered. Panic flickered in his eyes, but then it was gone, replaced again by the unkind anticipation. He raised his hands, a whitish light forming between them. Before Zack could do anything, the glow was rushing at him, taking on the vague shape of a horse.

There was no time to grab a materia. Zack jumped out of the way, flinging himself onto the grass. But the horse turned with him, slamming into him in the next moment. A gasp of pain tore from his lips.

A mighty flap of wings came from somewhere overhead. "This meeting is for combat," Sephiroth informed him. "If you were hoping for a warm and welcoming reunion, it won't happen."

Zack groaned, shakily starting to force himself to his knees. He had seen the panic in the other's eyes. If he could appeal to that emotion, maybe he could get Seph to fight harder with himself instead of with Zack.

"I saw that look in your eyes before you attacked me," he said, looking up at the multi-winged man hovering over him. "You don't want to hurt me, either, Seph. You've gotta come back to yourself!"

Another flicker of something more human. "Zack . . . I can't . . ." He trailed off, a golden glow enveloping his body. His eyes took on a wild look, a wicked smirk taking the place of the desperation. Another blast, this one unnamed, shot forth from his hands.

Zack was struck before he had the chance to dodge again or to defend himself. With a cry of pain he tumbled backwards, slamming into a jagged rock. He groaned, shaking the stars from his mind as he tried to come back to the present. That had not been fun. And there was always more where that had come from.

"Zack. . . ."

The voice was filled with immense concern and even anguish. He looked up, gazing at the man hovering in front of him. The eyes flickered, sanity reigning for a brief moment.

"Are you alright?! I . . . I didn't want to hurt you. . . ."

Zack grinned, his own expression softening. "Yeah . . . yeah, I'm okay," he said, placing a hand behind him on the rock as he pushed himself upright. "Seph, you've gotta fight yourself!" he cried, sobering now. "You can't let this insanity keep ruling you! I'm going to help you pull through this, but you've gotta keep trying, too!"

"'Keep trying'?" Seph repeated, his voice filled with a heaviness and sadness that Zack could not even comprehend. It was so different, both from the Seph he remembered and from the Sephiroth who had gone mad at Nibelheim. He sounded as if his very existence was a chore, as if he was so weary of it all and just wanted it to end, even if he would have to cease existing in order for that to come to pass. He had once said that his pride kept him alive. Now he was so disheartened. Had even his pride been spent?

"Zack . . . don't you know . . . I've tried so hard, ever since this began eight years ago. I can't make it stop. This darkness, these crazed feelings . . . they're part of me, or they could have never taken root so deeply. I'm a wicked person now, no longer the man celebrated as a hero. Do you think I like the person I've become?"

Zack swallowed hard, gazing up at him. Seph hated himself. And he did not know how to ever defeat his own dark feelings. He was trapped, he was lost. It made Zack's heart ache. "Seph . . ."

"Of course I like it." Seph's voice had changed now. It was icy and tinged with madness. "I wanted power, Zack. You remember when I told you that I wondered what it took to become a god? I've found out the answer. I've gathered so much knowledge, beyond your wildest imagination. You said that being a god was more about knowing how to help the people who worship me. I don't need worship. The only thing I care about is the power."

Zack's hands wrapped around the hilt of the sword once again. "But you know, Seph," he said, his voice sad, "how has it really done anything for you? I remember something else you said once---that if there was nothing after this life, all the knowledge, and all the bonds made with others, would be taken away. Well . . . now we've found out there is an afterlife. You've kept your knowledge, but you've pushed away everyone who tried to help you, everyone who wanted to be there for you!"

"I pushed them away?" Sephiroth repeated in indignation. "I don't think so, Zack. We've been through this. You betrayed me. If you had stayed with me, don't you think I would have let you share the power? Don't you think I would have wanted you there? Do you think I wanted to be alone?"

"No!" Zack returned. "I know you didn't. I know you still don't. And you know I never could have gone along with you at Nibelheim!"

"I sacrificed everything I had to get where I am today. But you weren't willing to do the same. You abandoned me for Cloud." His eyes narrowed further. "He was your favorite friend."

Zack stared at him, aghast. What? Could . . . could Seph really believe such a thing? It was likely true that his mad feelings had started from things he actually thought and felt throughout his life---that he was different, that he believed his mother was Jenova, that he wondered how to become a god. . . . Would he ever think Zack would play favorites, even if it was just an unspoken thought always kept in the back of his mind?

"That's not true!" he cried. "I never cared about him more than you, or you more than him! I care about all my friends the same!"

A cold laugh. "But it was only Cloud who had your friendship in the end. You turned against me." He cupped his hands, a reddish-orange light beginning to form between them. "I've had enough of this."

Zack could only barely manage to pull out the Comet materia as the new blast was released. The spells collided in midair. For a split second there was complete silence. Then the boom was deafening, the shock waves spreading out and out until Zack was flying again. A yelp tore from his lips as he crashed in a heap on the ground.

Sephiroth was upon him again in an instant. Now his fury was being fully unleashed. Another beam left his hands, and a third, in rapid succession. Zack screamed, gripping at the grass with all the strength he could muster. Seph wasn't stopping. The anguish just kept pounding and pulsating into his body, again and again. Seph was leaning further down, placing his hands on Zack's convulsing back, channeling another blast into him at close range. The lavender eyes widened, then tightly shut. The cries were all spent. His throat was burning.

Somehow, Aerith knew he was in pain right then.

"It's alright, Zack! Don't give up. Never give up!"

It took a moment to realize that the pain had ceased. . . . What? How? Had Aerith done it? No . . . she had given him encouragement, but she was not responsible for the stopped assault.

Shakily he raised up, looking over his shoulder. Seph had retreated several yards away. He was kneeling on the grass, shaking, his wings limp and his hair hanging around him. One hand was held to his forehead, the other balancing himself. He did not seem to notice that Zack was watching him.

The brunet looked back to the ground in front of him, pushing on his hands to make himself rise. He slid his knees under him, trembling as he knelt among the green blades. Seph had done a number on him. But he was okay. It was Seph he was worried about.

Reaching for his sword, he stabbed the tip into the ground and used it to lean on as he dragged himself to his feet. It might have to be his walking stick for a few minutes. He turned in the direction where Seph was, placing one foot forward, then the other in front of it. He could make it over there. He would, because he had to. He had to save Seph.

Green eyes looked up abruptly as he approached. Anger flamed within them for a brief moment, but it was swiftly replaced by a keen and agonized panic. "Stay away from me!" Seph ordered. "You'll only be hurt again!" And he could not stand it. Zack's cries of anguish had pierced his soul to the very core. He had been hurting his only friend, one who somehow still believed in him even after all these years, after all the horrors and pain he had inflicted on others.

And it was all he could do to keep the attacks from being a lot worse. His insane side wanted to use Supernova. He was charging up for it. But that could not be done to Zack! That could injure him seriously, much more so than the more minor attacks he had been using.

Zack shook his head, continuing to advance until he was standing in front of Seph. "I'm not going to run away just because you blasted me a few times," he said, his voice firm as he looked into the stunned green eyes. "I'm staying right here to help you!" He began to extend a hand, his thoughts racing. Would Seph take it? Would he let Zack help him up? Or would he slap it away? Would he even take it and then channel another beam into it? He would take the chance.

Sephiroth could only stare at the proffered appendage, slowly lowering his own hand from his forehead, but not reaching out in turn. "I . . . I could have killed you at Nibelheim," he said, his voice twisting with emotion. "If . . . if it wasn't for what happened then, you wouldn't have been experimented on, and you wouldn't have died five years later. . . . You'd still be alive. . . ."

Zack's eyes filled with kindness. "Hey . . . there's no telling what would have happened, Seph," he said quietly. "Maybe I still would've died. And maybe I could have saved you back at Nibelheim. But there's no way of knowing that. All I know is that I'm going to save you now, even if you don't think it can ever happen!" He kept holding out his hand. He would not force Seph to grab on. It was a decision Seph would have to make for himself. But Zack wanted him to choose to take it. He wanted that so much!

Sephiroth was still looking at the hand. Then his gaze raised to Zack's determined orbs. There was only compassion there, and unconditional love. It was incredible, and impossible, but it was true.

"Why?" he whispered. "How . . . how can you still extend your hand to me?"

Zack gave a wan smile. "Why?" he repeated. "How? Because . . . because under all that crazy stuff, you're still my best friend. That's never gonna change, Seph."

Slowly Seph began to reach for Zack's hand, still hesitating. Without warning his eyes flickered in a dangerous way. His hand struck Zack's, forcing it away.

"Stop," he growled, the harsh tones returning to his voice. "This is inane. Even if you do still care about me, I don't care about you. I've advanced beyond the need of human companionship. A god needs only himself and his knowledge." He rose, the wounded look in Zack's eyes not lost on him. Something moved in his own eyes, but the ice did not melt.

". . . You're not a god, Seph."

"You doubt me?" Seph's pupils narrowed to pinpricks. "You'll regret that." His wings spread as he began to lift himself into the sky. "You'll wish that you had left well enough alone! Wing Slash!"

Zack's eyes widened. Wing Slash was one of the most powerful attacks. He had no choice; he would have to try to defend himself against it. His hand dove into the bag, grabbing the first materia it touched. He pulled it out. A Fire materia. Seph's main element was fire. That would give new meaning to fighting fire with fire, he thought grimly. It would be better to get the Ice materia he had in there somewhere. But there was no time.

The burst of light resembled a large wing, with all of the primary feathers as sharp as knives. Some of the knives tore free, flying directly at Zack. He gritted his teeth, holding the Fire materia in front of him as he retaliated. The blast sent the bright blades backwards, where they burst into flames and vanished. But others were already coming.

Zack could only move around the area in a desperate dance, using the Fire materia in defense. Where was the Ice one?! He had been looking for it since fighting Bizarro. Every time he meant to get it, he grabbed something else.

"Seph, you've gotta stop!" he yelled.

Now Seph was hovering again, just watching him. But the look in his eyes said that he was planning something. "Stop?" he said in disdain. "I'm just beginning. And you don't even know the horrors that I'm holding back." The last part was said with an edge of despair. "You should get out of here while you can."

"No way!" Zack cried instantly. "I promised I wouldn't leave you this time, Seph. I'm going to stay right here until I can bring you back!" His hand closed over another orb. As he drew it out, the elusive Ice materia was revealed. He swallowed hard. Using it was not something he wanted to do at all. And he would not attack Seph unless he was attacked first. Being aggressive might bring out Seph's insane side all the more, making him think that he was justified in what he was doing. All Zack wanted was to save his dear friend.

"I'm so lucky to have such a loyal friend," Sephiroth remarked, a mocking, sarcastic tone to his voice. "What should I give as a reward? It should be something very unique." His cruel expression darkened, and his strong wings spread and flapped, carrying him higher into the sky.

Zack's eyes narrowed, and he gripped the Ice materia in his hand as he watched the other. What was Seph thinking this time? The attacks had been getting steadily worse. Was it possible that . . .

"No. . . ." Sephiroth's expression changed again, to horror and alarm. "Get away from me, Zack! I'm going to use Supernova on you!"

Zack stared at him. That, along with Heartless Angel, were his most powerful attacks. If Supernova was used, all kinds of damage would be done. And once Seph started to cast it, the victim would be paralyzed until the blast was coming right at him.

"Fight it, Seph!" he screamed, standing his ground. Maybe if he did not move, if Seph knew that he was going to stay and that he would probably be hit with it, then Seph would be able to force himself to not use the attack.

Seph shook his head. He was fighting, struggling with all his might. The voices in his head were clamoring for attention. He knew Zack was the traitor, even after everything they had come through---all the missions, all the times they had sacrificed for each other, all the times Zack had reassured Sephiroth that he was his friend. Zack deserved to be harmed in the worst way possible.

No! No, that was not true! What was he thinking? Zack had always been loyal. Zack was here right now, pleading for him to break free, and insisting that he would not leave. No one would keep staying here, enduring these assaults, unless he truly cared. He could not use Supernova on Zack. He could not do anything more that would harm him. But could he even stop himself?

"You are a god. You are punishing one who betrayed you. You know that he is unworthy of even being around you. Finish him off."

He would not do it. If Zack would not leave, then he would leave himself, in order to protect him. But . . . why was it not working? Why could he not teleport, or even to fly away? It was as if he was paralyzed himself, doomed to enact the fateful assault. Was it his dark side's will that he remain? Was that why he could not move? Then he had to defeat his dark side. He had to overpower it once and for all.

Zack clutched at the Ice materia. Seph was trying to break free. That was obvious from his agonized expression. But the madness that had ruled over him for years was unwilling to release him from its grasp.

"The Sephiroth you are trying to speak to is only an illusion." The voice was hard again. "He is a fragment of what he once was, and not strong enough to stop his true self."

Anger surged through Zack's veins. "That isn't true!" he cried. "And you aren't Seph's true self. You're the dark part of his soul, all twisted. You're the fragment! Seph's stronger than you! Seph was always the strongest person I ever knew!"

"The stronger they are, the harder they fall." He spread his arms wide, all of his wings moving as the oversized halo caught the reflection from the sun. Then a cloud interfered, beginning to stretch across the sky and cover it in grayish-white.

Zack gazed up at him. He had to say something to that, he had to keep encouraging Seph. But . . . now no sound would come out of his mouth. It was as if his throat had been frozen. And . . . he could not move, either. His arm was suspended in place, his hand still holding the materia. He could not step back. He was paralyzed. The Supernova attack had begun, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. And now that Seph was casting it, he could not stop it, either.

The deadly light was flying out of the sky now. It had started as a pinprick and had quickly grown until it filled Zack's vision. Now he could move, but it did not do any good. It was too late. The burst slammed into him, wanting more than anything to throw him off his feet. But somehow he had to stay standing. He had to keep stepping back, until it faded. It was draining all of his energy, sending fire throughout his body. His mouth opened in a silent scream.

Suddenly it was over. He stumbled, unable to get his footing. It was like the Supernova had been the only thing holding him up. Now the dizziness was overwhelming. He had to use a Restore materia on himself. Where was it? Still in the bag? No . . . this was it in his hand. All he would have to do would be to cast Cure, and then he should be recovered enough to try to reason with Seph again. If Seph realized he had used the Supernova, he must be devastated. . . .

"No! Don't!"

His arm was grabbed and wrenched away as Seph was bearing down on him. At the same moment, a blast came from the materia. A thump and a grunt of pain filled his ears.

The orb dropped from his hands. It was like he was coming back to himself after being in a stupor. Now, as he was focusing, Seph was laying on the ground in a daze, his wings splayed all around him. The materia at Zack's feet was Ice, not Restore. The horrible truth began to register.

Immediately he ran to the other, stumbling over his shaking legs and feet. Temporary confusion was one possible side effect of Supernova. He had nearly blasted himself with the Ice materia, believing it to be Restore. And Seph had paid for it.

He crashed to his knees, gripping the other's shoulder. "Seph?!" he cried, feeling the muscles tense under his grasp. Had he hurt Seph? That was the last thing he wanted, now or ever!

A wing twitched, then another, as Seph began to stir. He was breathing somewhat heavier from the intensity of the assault, his hands limp at his sides. Then he looked to Zack, the green eyes clearing.

"I can't stay here right now. I'm hurting you. Zack . . . come find me." His body vanished, leaving behind only one white and one black feather.

For a long moment Zack knelt there, staring at the remnants of Seph's presence. That had definitely been the real one, and not another illusion. And he had hurt Seph. Indirectly, but he had still done it, blasting Seph with the materia when Seph had tried to keep Zack from hurting himself. It had been at close range, too. Was he badly injured? Had he left to try to recover, as well as to not do any more damage to Zack? He never would have said so. That was one thing about him that had not changed.

Seph had been himself again, there at the last. Had knowing he had used Supernova been what had caused him to get control? Where had he gone now? Was he still in the area?

It felt so lonely now. Maybe Seph was not around. But he was probably still watching. He was always watching. . . .

Zack extended his hand, taking the feathers. He should use his Restore materia right now, before anything else happened. Then it would be time to leave here.

With his other hand, he shakily reached into the bag and pulled out the correct orb. It was a relief to see it, but there was still a sick feeling when he thought of how he had mistaken the dangerous materia for the passive one. Poor Seph. . . .

As he cast Cure, the warm glow began to surround and penetrate his body, repairing the worst of the damage that had been caused. He should really rest for a while, especially after a Supernova assault, but how could he when he had to keep going and find Seph? Still . . . if he was in a weakened condition, he would never be able to fight Seph in that Safer form again. But it might take a while to meet up with him now.

The materia ceased its healing magic. Now it was cool in Zack's hand. He slipped it back into the bag, slowly getting to his feet. There was still some queasiness, but that should pass. He would be able to set out, continuing his quest to locate Seph.

"Okay, Seph," he said, looking down at the feathers and then out again at the landscape before him, "I'll come find you. And you'd better be ready, buddy---because next time you're not gonna slip away!"