Chapter 4
Sara had no idea how long she lay there but when she regained consciousness, she was in agonizing pain. Her head was throbbing as was her side and when she tried to move, she felt excruciating pain shooting down her left arm. She managed to get her eyes open, noticing blood by her head and to her dismay, she saw that her arm was lying in a very unnatural position by her side. The silence was deafening and as the recollection of what she was doing there dawned on her, she realized that no one knew where she was or where to look for her – no one except Neal, that is. She tried to breathe through the pain and incapable of putting together any coherent strategy, she lay for a moment and drifted off again.
The next time she woke, she was aware that she was partially covered with a sheet or tarp of some sort. She tried to put her thoughts into some semblance of order, reliving the events of the day starting with her appointment with Dr. Cooper. She reached out to touch her abdomen with her right arm wondering if her pregnancy had been a casualty of the beating. She was surprised to find that she was sad at the thought of losing a baby in such a violent manner and she let out a small sob as she tried to collect her thoughts. She could see her purse a few feet away and realized her phone must still be in there. The effort proved too much, however and she fell back letting out a groan as pain took hold of her once more. She thought she could hear a noise in the distance (was that someone calling her name?) and then she blacked out again.
Sara came to once again as she heard her name spoken over and over again. Her brain reacted to the sound but she just couldn't get her eyes to cooperate. Was that Neal's voice? Had he come for her? Suddenly her head was being lifted and placed onto something soft and someone was stroking her hair. Who was that and why couldn't she manage to pry her eyes open?
The soft caress she'd been enjoying ended abruptly and was replaced by several pairs of hands touching her more urgently and she could hear voices talking, something about fractures and concussions and then there was Neal's voice again amongst them all, saying her name.
She still couldn't get her eyes open but she managed to murmur his name, though her mouth felt like cotton and then he was touching her hand and talking to her as she felt herself being lifted up off the ground onto a soft surface, the pain in her head and side unbearable. She was crying (God, I hate crying) and she desperately wanted the pain to stop. Where was Neal? Hadn't he been there just a few seconds ago? She was having trouble making sense of anything with the searing pain and the humming in her head. With too many questions and an uncooperative brain, she finally let herself sink into blissful unconsciousness once more.
When she next opened her eyes, Sara was lying in a bed and though her vision was blurry, she could see a dark head of hair lying by her right arm and she could feel someone holding her hand. This wasn't the warehouse anymore she realized as she took in the hospital monitor's soft beeps and the muted lighting.
'Neal?' she managed to say
His head snapped up instantly and she could see that his eyes were red and bleary; his hair was tousled and his clothes rumpled, very un-Caffrey-like.
'Hey gorgeous, how are you doing? Neal said with a tremor in his voice that she had never heard before
She was incredibly thirsty. 'Can I have some water?' she managed to say, her voice hoarse
She felt Neal let go of her hand and watched as he reached over to pour some water into a glass for her. He brought it to her lips. Man, that felt good but she could only manage a small sip.
Everything hurt and she was terribly confused. 'Head hurts' she said to Neal 'what happened?'
'That recovery in the garment district, do you remember?' Neal asked and she could see again how his eyes were red and weary. He was holding her hand again and it helped to anchor her in the here and now.
Sara shook her head slowly but even that small movement hurt and she stopped mid-shake.
'It's okay, we can talk about it later' she heard him say and she felt him place a gentle kiss on her forehead
She was already drifting away as he spoke, as if a wave had come up over her head sweeping her down to the depths of the ocean.
Sara was laughing heartily as she tickled the little boy. He couldn't be more than two years old, and he half sat, half lay on her lap as he let himself totally relax in her arms. He had dark, curly hair and dimples and he was giggling in that way children have of giggling when they've lost all control over their bodies. He wiggled in her grip, laughing and gently kicking.
'What's Mommy doing to you?' she heard as she looked up to see Neal sitting next to them
'Tick-ing' he answered, laughing warmly
The three of them continued laughing, caught up in the magic of the moment.
She continued to drift in and out of sleep and each time she opened her eyes she caught sight of Neal nearby but he didn't seem to notice her eyes opening. Once, he was in a nearby chair reading a book and the next time she came to, he was sitting, holding her hand with a very sad and faraway look on his face. He really needed to shave and shower and change his clothes - he looked horrible, she thought as she felt herself slip away again.
WCWCWC
The next time she woke, she was surprised to find that Neal had morphed into a five foot six bald guy with glasses - until she realized it was in fact Mozzie sitting by her side.
'Sara, you're awake' said Mozzie tentatively
'Mozzie, hi. Where's Neal?' she asked as she glanced around the room
'I convinced him to go shower and change; he'd been here for 24 hours straight. He'll be back anytime now' he added
'Poor guy, he must be exhausted, can you help me sit up?' Sara asked as she started to get her bearings. She actually felt human again, a very sore human, but human nonetheless.
'I'm sorry about what happened. Was Jimmy the one who attacked you?' he asked. He had never figured Jimmy the Greek as a violent type and he was feeling somehow responsible for what had happened to Sara.
'No, no' she answered reassuringly 'It was the buyer, he had two thugs with him'
'Don't worry, we'll find out who was behind this' Mozzie said, touching her hand in an uncharacteristic display of affection
Sara smiled at him. 'Sorry about the commission' she said sheepishly
'Sara, that's the last thing on my mind right now, well maybe not the very last' he admitted 'but it's way down there on the list'
Sara stared off into the distance, her mind miles away.
'Look, I know you're going through a lot' ventured Mozzie
'What do you mean?' Sara asked suddenly fearing he somehow knew her secret
'Well, I saw what you left in the bottom of the trashcan at Neal's when I was doing my weekly sweep for bugs yesterday' he admitted
'Really? Is nothing sacred? The bottom of the trashcan...' She took a deep breath but that made the pain in her ribs come alive. 'Mozzie, Neal doesn't know yet and I'm not at all sure I want him to'
'It's sort of major news, don't you think' he countered
'Not if it isn't news at all' she answered
He looked puzzled for a moment before he figured out what she meant and then he frowned in response. Mozzie was nothing if not loyal to Neal and he instinctively saw things from Neal's perspective.
'You're not even going to discuss this with him? And by the way, he knows about the pregnancy and your clandestine appointment next week' said Mozzie
'How?' was all she could say
'The doctor was updating Neal on your condition yesterday and he asked him if he was the baby's father – dead giveaway. And Neal was looking in your daybook for a lead on who you were meeting at the warehouse yesterday and he stumbled onto this appointment you have at the clinic next week. He's pretty smart, you know, he figured it out and he's devastated that you didn't talk to him about it and he's worried about you. Neal loves you, you know'
'I know he does. It has nothing to do with that' Sara said as she sat reeling from the shock of what Mozzie had just told her
'Well, I beg to differ' he said, suddenly having morphed into Dear Abby
'Mozzie, you don't understand - ' she began as he cut her off
'I understand that Neal was left to his own devices growing up and that he would never let a kid of his go through that. He would want to be there, Sara, and you could count on him being there' offered Mozzie
'Even if what you say is true, Neal is hardly the white picket fence type and neither of us signed up for this when we fell into bed the night of June's damn party' said Sara
'Eww, too much information' Mozzie said as he put his hand out to stop her. 'Sara, I will deny ever having said this but there are many ways of parenting a child. It doesn't automatically mean marriage, a mortgage and a dog. Give Neal a chance to - '
As if right on cue, the door to the hospital room opened and there stood Neal, looking much more refreshed than when Sara had last seen him. He was wearing a blue colored polo and dark jeans and a big smile and she wanted to run to him and have him hold her and make all this mess go away.
'Sara, you're awake! How're you feeling?' he asked as he walked purposefully towards her. He kissed her gently on the lips and she savored the taste and smell of him.
'I can vouch for the fact that she's feeling much better' said Mozzie as he picked up his jacket to leave
Neal turned to Mozzie 'Can I talk to you before you go?' he asked as he pointed to the door
He turned back to look at Sara, his eyes soft and oh so blue.
'I'll be right back' he said as he squeezed her hand
Sara watched as the men stepped out of her room; she could see then standing just outside discussing whatever Neal and Mozzie discussed when they were alone and she let her mind wander to what Mozzie had just told her.
Now that Neal knew about the pregnancy, she had no choice but to discuss it with him. Whatever he said to her, she would have to be strong in her resolve to go ahead with the termination; she knew that her boyfriend had a heart of gold and that he would be there for her in a New York minute if she asked but this was no small 'favor' and she just couldn't imagine Neal committing to raising a child for the rest of his life. In many ways, he was a child himself, so impulsive and quick to act and that was exactly what got Neal into trouble most of the time – including this time.
She could see Neal and Mozzie preparing to say goodbye and she braced herself for what would come next.
TBC
