"I HATE YOU JONATHAN JASON OF CONTE!"
"How many times have I told you not to call me that! You're mom and I are married I'm your father now."
"No you're not your our stepfather. I don't care what you say to me 'cause I'm not listening!"
"Yes you are go to your room you're on time out!""
"Am not! I'm going to go ride my pony!"
Before Jon could open his mouth, Gaby ran out of the room.
"Alanna, do you know what your daughter did?"
"What did Gabriella do now…wait, do I need to be sitting down when you tell me this?"
"Uh… maybe."
"Am I going to want to kill her, yes or no?"
"Ummm… depends."
"I said yes or no damn it!"
"Whatever happened to anger management?"
"You and I got into bed together about six months ago!"
"Right so what the little five year old demon child did was…"
"My daughter is not a demon! She is my child! If she was Delia, queen of all-"
"Yeah, yeah, Delia, Queen of all that is evil"
"Yeah, Delia, Queen of all that is evil's child, I could imagine her being a demon child. As it is, she is mine, not Delia's"
"Can I get on with my story now, please?"
"fine but my child…"
"Is not a demon I know now that thing…"
"Wait…now my daughter is a 'thing'?"
"Yes, now that thing was with me and we were greeting the ambassador from Galla and she decided to set half a dozen mice loose in the ball room
"Just like her mama"
"What?"
"When I was at the convent, I once set some mice loose in Delia's room. It was hilarious, she wouldn't go into her room for a week unless there was a servant with her and the servant had to check the room before she would enter it"
"ok but that was different she could have ruined negotiantions that have been going on since before she was born."
"If we haven't gotten them to agree to have a peace treaty with us now, why are we still trying?"
"Here, here!"
"Mother! How long have you been there?"
"Since you called my precious step-granddaughter a demon child" Lianne said "I agree with Alanna, I want the ambassador to go home so he can stop flirting with me!"
"Any way I told her she couldn't go riding for two days and she said she hated me and we got in an argument and she ran off for a ride."
"Did you send some one after her?
"Opps."
"What do you mean 'oops'? My baby is out on a ride without guards! You moron!"
"Hey you're married to this moron…"
"Even morons do something smart every once and a while."
"You know what Alanna…man, I can't say what I want to say…mother, can you leave the room?"
"sure."
"Thank you…now what I was going to say was that when it comes to morons marrying morons…which you are one, it is always the woman who is the bigger moron because she said yes to the first moron…not that I am a moron"
"Jon if my daughter isn't here by dinner you are sleeping on the couch."
"You can't make me sleep on the couch" Jon said
"Watch me!" Alanna shoved Jon out of the room, slammed the door shut, and lock him out
"Wait Alanna! My key is in the room!"
"Why do you think I shoved you out!"
(Meanwhile…somewhere else)
Gaby had been riding for about four hours. It seemed like an eternity to Gaby.
FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gaby thought I am probably about half way to the border by now…I smell smoke…I see smoke…there is a camp there! Is the Kng's Own around this area? I hope not…wait…where am I? I got to go investigate.
Gaby rides a little closer to the camp. Her horse cracked a twig under it's hooves.
A blob of fire-red hair popped up "Who's there?"
Sounds like they have a wimp for a guard….and that is a girl coming out of that tents…pretty tents…well, they aren't bandits, they aren't guards…and that red hair looks familiar. I go investigate more! Uncle Raoul and Gary would have a cow if they knew I was being so careless…oh well
Gaby rode all the way into the camp. The woman jumped back in surprise, and the guy yelped
"ALEX!"
A second man came running out, sword in hand. When he saw Gaby, his sword fell to his side
"Thom, you have gone from a sad excuse of a squire to a pathetic one" the man named Alex said
"She just rode into the camp! It was…well she scared Delia too!"
"Delia is a girl!"
"Hey!"
"What? You are" Alex said "Back to the point. Thom…that girl can't be more than two"
"I'M SIX DARN IT!"
"My apologies" Alex said in a bored voice
"That's right, you better apologize! I have the power to make your life a living hell!"
Thom stood up "Where did a cute little girl like you learn that language?"
"My mommy and her former bodyguard"
"So…what are you? Some…peasant's daughter who had a father made a baron?"
"DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS EVER A PEASANT!"
"She has a point Thom" Alex said "She's dressed better than Delia"
"Sad, but true" Delia said "Those look like…no, it's impossible!"
"What?" Alex and Thom asked
"That looks like the fabric reserved for the royal family. Jon had a full closet of clothes made out of that fabric"
"How do you know what my poopy-face of a step-dad has in his closet?"
"I slept with him
"You slept with my step-dad? I'm so going to get him put on the couch when…wait, I'm not going back home…I'll write a letter and get him on the couch for life!"
"Did you say step-dad" Alex asked
"Yeah, what about it"
"ROGER! ROGER, GET OUT HERE!" Alex and Delia yelled
A man with brown hair stepped out of a tent
"Alex, I thought we had a plan. Thom playts guard, when a threat comes, he calls for you, you chop them in a million little pieces, and…where is the enemy?"
"Thom screamed about the little girl" Delia said
"She scared you too!" Thom said
"What is really scaring me is she is calling Jonathon her step-father" Delia said
"Hey…hey wimpy dude…what is your name again?"
No one said anything
"Thom, she asked you a question" Alex said
"I am not wimpy!"
"Your name is Thom!" Gaby said "Let's see…Thom…red hair…mommy's eyes…total wimp"
Thom made eye contact with Gaby "Mommy's eyes?"
"You have purple eyes, just like my mommy"
"Delia…how many girls at the convent had purple eyes?"
"Alanna"
"Who else"
"That was it"
"Sweetie, what is your name?" Alex asked
"I am not a wimp" Thom said to himself
"Gabriella Aria of Conte" Gaby said in response to Alex's question
"She called me wimpy, I am not wimpy"
"Get over it Thom. You're a wimp and we all know it" Delia said "Sweetie…what was your name before your mommy remarried?"
"Gabriella Aria of Conte" Gaby said
"Sweetie, that's what you said before"
"What are you, Queen of all that is obvious?"
"No, my name is Delia"
"Oh! You are Queen of all that is evil!"
"Who called me that?" Delia asked "I remember someone use to call me that, but I can't remember…guys, help me out"
"Elspeth" Alex said
"Alanna" Roger and Thom said
"Oh yeah, Jennaya, Alanna, and Elspeth called me that" Delia said "Now let's see…which one of them would have married Jon…"
"Jennaya is his cousin, so she is out of the running" Roger said
"Elspeth maybe?" Thom asked.
Alex glared at him "My wife wouldn't have married Jon. Besides, she's too old to be Jon and Elspeth's"
"That only leaves…" Delia trailed off "Sweetie, would your mommy be Alanna?"
"Yep. Princess Alanna of Conte…she had to date and marry the poopy face…we were doing just fine without the poopy face. He made me go to parties..."
"Roger…"Delia said
"Ok…I'll take care of this" Roger said "Sweetie, why are you so far away from home?"
"Because Jon tried to punish me for letting mice loose in the hall where he was greeting the ambassador of Galla"
Delia shivered "Yep, she's Alanna's child"
"Wait…you all know me and my mommy, but I don't know all of you…you is Delia, queen of all that is evil, I know that. You…you must be my wimpy uncle that Anthony takes after. Now who is you and why do you look like Alex…and who is you and why do you look like me and Anthony"
"Well sweetie" Roger said "I look like you and Anthony because I am your daddy"
"Why do you look like Alex? Is you Alex's daddy?"
"I don't know…is Alex Elspeth's son?"
"Yep. Elspeth's son and Steven's step-son"
"Steven? Who is this Steven? I don't know any Steven"
"Lavan's cousin"
"Lavan?" Delia asked
"Jennaya's fiancé" Roger said
"Nuh-Uh!" Gaby said "Lavan is Jennaya's husband. Has been for about six years"
"Alright sweety, alright…why did you leave?"
"How are you here?" Gaby said "You is all suppose to be dead. My mommy said you were all a bunch of filthy, no good traitors who deserve what they got"
"All of us?" Thom asked
"Well..almost all of you."
Thom smiled
She said you were a spineless jelly-fish who should have picked your friends better and 'cause you didn't. deserved what you got"
Thom's smile disappeared
"Sweetie, answer my question" Roger said
"Answer mine"
"I asked first"
"I asked second"
"I'm your daddy"
"I'm your daughter"
"I'm bigger"
"I'm smaller"
"I'm smarter"
"Don't be so sure of that" Gaby said "Now answer me, I'm a princess"
"Thom has a sword"
"Thom is a wimp" Gaby said
"Alex has a sword"
Gaby eyed Alex for a minute before turning back to Roger "Elspeth and mommy said he was really good with a sword"
"He is" Roger said
Gaby eyed Alex again before saying "Ok, I'll go first…but before I answer…would you have actually let him hurt me?"
Gaby looked like she was about to cry, Delia, who does have a heart, ran over and scooped her up
"It's ok baby, Roger wouldn't have hurt you" Delia said "Alex put that thing away, you're scaring the poor dear"
"That 'poor dear' is Alanna's child"
