Disclaimer: Harry Potter doesn't not belong to me. However, Snarry Hotter does! Wow, that sounds odd...

Fonts: Harry/Hermione/Ron/McGonagall

A/N: Ha! I wish I was Minerva McGonagall... Some things are just not meant to be. ;'( How life sucks. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed my story! Namely no pretence and whispered touches! Anyhoo, Continue on!

Chapter 4: Transfiguration (OOTP)

You know Harry, I'm jealous of you.

How come?

Well, besides the fact that your famous, won the Triwizard Tournament, are the Boy Who Lived, became the youngest seeker in a century, killed a Basilisk-

Please get to the point Ron.

Right, Sorry. My point is, I'm jealous of you because you got snogged before me or Hermione.

Speak for yourself!

What?

I said 'Speak for yourself!'.

What do you mean?

I mean that if your jealous of Harry because he's snogged someone and you haven't, don't drag me into it.

You've snogged someone?

I didn't say that...

But that's what it sounded like...

...

Who?

Who do you think?

Oh my GOD. You've snogged Malfoy, haven't you?

How can you be that thick?

Ronald! Don't be stupid! Oh- too late!

Hey! Don't be mean, I was only guessing...

Terrible guess, Mate.

Try again.

Hmm... How about- Oh NO...

What?

She's snogged the ENEMY!

The enemy? Which one? Besides Malfoy of course...

You spent all that time fraternizing with the enemy...

I said which-

Hermione?

...

Hermione?

You GIT! After all this time you still think KRUM'S the ENEMY!

Oh no...

Well, yea- I mean no, well I don't really-

YOU were the one who wanted his autograph! YOU were the one who praised him all summer! YOU-

Okay guys, let's calm down. Ron: you're jealous because you haven't snogged anyone. Hermione: is quite angry and has snogged Krum.

Right. Well, back to earlier...

Maybe, Mr Weasley, seeing as you are not, as you so eloquently put it, 'snogging' anyone, you could take that time to work on TRANSFIGURATION. As for Mr Potter and Miss Granger, if you wouldn't mind taking some of your osculating time and using it for your work as well...

Um... Who is this?

It can't be-

Who?

Professor McGonagall.

Oh Bugger.

Yes Mr Weasley. I'm so glad to be- what is it called? Ahh, yes, 'up to speed' on your current events. Mr Weasley is jealous and never been osculated, Miss Granger is angry and osculated by Viktor Krum, and Mr Potter has been osculated by- whom?

I... well... uh,-

Cho Chang of Ravenclaw, Professor.

Thanks Hermione.

Don't mention it Harry!

Oh.. how interesting. Good choice Mr Potter.

Um, thanks Professor.

Professor, If you know who we're snogging, then who are you snogging?

Mr Weasley! That is highly inappropriate!

No offence Professor, but your face is rrreeeddd... Bit embarrassed to admit you've been snogging Dumbledore in between classes? No wonder Umbridge is so mad. She's jealous you've got the greatest wizard of all time wrapped around your pretty little finger. Or should I say he's got you wrapped around his-

Mr Weasley! That will be quite enough! I must be going now. Start on your Transfiguration, or ten points from Gryffindor!

...

Ron?

Yeah?

You do realize why she was embarrassed, right?

No. Why?

Because she has been snogging Dumbledore...

A/N: How awesome was that? Pretty Please Review! I only have two reviews so far, and (In my opinion) this is the best chapter so far! And By the way... Osculating means kissing. I just can't see McGonagall saying something and slang-y as 'snogging'. She needed a proper word that she would've used back in her day that substituted 'snogging'.