Two updates in one day? It's impossible! Or not so enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own Meddy, Yzarc, Fado the Fairy's behavior, and that's it.

Warning: This has drug references, sexual-references, bad jokes, crude humor, giant mutants, blonds, Meddy, and a bunch of other stuff.


The group had calmed down after twenty minutes and realized they had no clue where they were. They decided to move the giant rock blocking this cave but were having some trouble.

"I won't budg-" The royalty bashed his skull in. " OH GOD!"

"I WILL MOVE IT YOU STUPID BLOND FOR I AM GOHMA!" The former boss roared. "HURGH! IT'S A STUBBORN ROCK!"

"I'll help!" Fado blasted the rock, and the two next to it, with fire.

"AHHHHH! I'M ON FIRE!"

"I'LL KILL YOU LIGHT BULB!"

"Yzarc do something to help you lazy ass!" Navi nagged, watching the scene with popcorn

"I'm trying to read porn so no." Came his respond.

Meddy felt a vein pulse on her forehead, looks like it be a Meddy-centric chapter.

The brunette took Link's bag without him noticing before turning on her heel and continuing up the mountain alone.


So far Meddy was making good time, occasionally having to stop smack the jumping blue monsters off the mountain with her arm. The sound of sometime crashing down the path made her pause, and she strained her eyes to see what it was.

A large rock was bouncing down the path. Meddy took a second to marvel at the idiotic-ness of this place before punching the rock into the ground.

The brunette nearly stabbed it when it groaned and unrolled into a bald, naked, brown thing.

"That was a good hit, goro." It said. "You knocked my back into place again, goro. As a thank you, take these magic steel gauntlets, goro. They'll keep you hands from getting so busted up, goro."

Confused, Meddy glanced at her hands and blinked at the black and purple bruise covering them. Nodding her thanks to the thoughtful creature, she slipped on the gauntlets which readjusted to her size, 1/3 the size they formerly were. The thing walked behind her and rolled off again.

Meddy has obtained the Steel Gauntlets!

She flipped the sky off again and continued up the mountain.


The small girl had found a large cave that the brown things apparently lived in. She met a tour guide who explained the history of their race, The Gorons, how they settled here, and their current problem.

"A boulder is blocking the cave that our food source was located in. But this wicked man from the desert came here and demanded the treasure that our leader, Darunia, had. He refused and the man infested the cave with evil monsters then sealed it off and only will undo his vile deed for the treasure." The tour guide told her. "Well this is the end of the tour, right in front of the rock that goes to Darunia's room. Thank you for taking Goron Tours."

He rolled off and Meddy looked at the stone, then knocked on it. It crumbled to pieces immediately from the magical enhanced strike, so she just when in.

She saw a buff Goron with his back turned in the chamber. She clapped her hands together to get his attention. Nothing. She tried kicking a rock at his head. Nothing. She hit him with a 2x4. Still nothing. She shot him with a pistol. Still Nothing. She blew a air horn into a megaphone. That did it, he turned to look at her.

"WHO EVER YOU ARE I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU BECAUSE I'M IN A HORRID MOOD. I'LL ONLY BE USEFUL IF YOU PLAY AN UPBEAT SONG!" He turned around again.

Meddy stared at him while then pulled out Link's ocarina.

She tested the different notes and then, after a few tries, managed to play Saria's Song.

Darunia suddenly jerked around and started dancing, freaking out Meddy so bad she stopped playing.

"PLAY OR I'LL KILL YOU!" She immediately complied, closing her eyes so she wouldn't see his dancing. He stopped after dancing for thirty minutes straight.

"I haven't felt this giddy in years! I assume your a hero that is trying to break the evil curse on the cave!" Meddy nodded, confused on how he knew that. "The only way in is by bombing the boulder! Take this! It will allow you to lift Bomb Flowers!" He gave her a pair of gold bracelets.

You have obtained the Goron Bracelets!

Darunia stared at the ceiling while Meddy flipped it off.

"Does that always happen?" He asked, Meddy grimly nodded.


Walking outside, the brunette found the Bomb Flowers he told her about. Peering over the edge, she saw the other were still fighting and felt her vein pulse again

She then smirked evilly and yanked the plant up before tossing it over. And again when it grew back. And again. And again.


The others were screaming at each other when something hit them on the heads.

The all looked around and noticed the piles of lit Bomb Flowers around them.

"Oh shi-"

Everyone in Hyrule looked up when they heard the giant explosion and the faint screams of agony from Death Mountain.


Meddy walked passed the group, which was being revived by several fairies.

"OH GOD IT BURNS! KILL US!" They shrieked when they finished their jobs and all burst into flames. She ignored them and just waited patiently by the entrance.

"Wow Meddy! You must be really fast if you got out of the bomb range." Link remarked when he saw her after he came back to life. "Cool gauntlets by the way."

Meddy handed him his bag and the Goron Bracelets before walking in the dungeon.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" Gohma punted Link into the wall and went in.

"Wait for me!" Fado flew after her, with Yzarc and Navi behind him.

Link groaned and stumbled into the wall a few times before going in as well.


Meddy must have good memory to remember a song only successful played once on a instrument she's barely touched before. She also has a new weapon! Hurray!

Will the group go through the dungeon like they're suppose to? (coughnocough) Will Navi's useful ability be reveiled next chapter? When will the jokes about Link's tunic start? Will another boss join them? Is Meddy ever going to talk?

Find out next time on Un- Meddy and Link's Insane Journey!

Edited Feb. 24, 2011