Six months? SIX months?! I think I've screwed myself back there. Hell it was such a chaos, in my head. I couldn't put my mind together. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't focused, no idea.
I once thought just to leave it like this. But I hate to leave things unfinished. You know the 'curiosity can kill you' thing. So I've decided to continue the story and tend to finish it. I don't know whether it will turn out to be a good plot or not but I'll give my best.
"Sawada, give me a hand would you?"
"Yes sensei, of course."
"Thanks. Please bring this to my desk in the teacher's room. I need to go somewhere else."
"Alright."
Wow, this is a lot of paper. Is being a teacher this hard? I thought it was quite simple. Even though I'm good on it but I don't really like paper job actually. Job huh. I never really think about what I want to do in the future because having Hibari-san on my side like now it's already enough for me. But still, I think I need to find a job that suits me later.
Hibari-san is not in the school now so I'm a bit lonely. It can't be help since he got an honor to be our school representative to attend such a huge event. Even though he doesn't like being in a crowd but he still go. I think he really loves our school.
"Tsuna, you look free now. Let's do our plan before. Let's hang out."
"Yamamoto, yes I think I can make it. Let's go find Gokudera."
"No need to. He is already waiting for us at the school gate."
"Great. Let's go then."
Me and Yamamoto walk to the gate to find Gokudera then we go for our hang out. It's been a long long time ago since I have free time like this. Since I have 'work' with Hibari-san I don't really have time for my friends. I sometimes feel sorry for them. They are my best friends anyway. So let's pay it today. Who knows when I can have a time like this anymore so I won't waste it.
Yamamoto and Gokudera looks so happy. Especially Gokudera, he is so excited. Can't really blame him for that. He always whined about me abandon him or something. So childish. This side of Gokudera makes him look cute somehow.
We visited many places today. Game center, cafe, park, and some other places. We spend the time like there won't be tomorrow. We really enjoy our time.
"Stay away from him you baseball head!"
"Always grumpy. Why Tsuna is my friend too. You can't ban me to hug my own friend. Right Tsuna?"
Unconsciously I giggle because of their behavior. Yamamoto always teased Gokudera like this and his reaction is always cute. They always know how to make me smile.
"Why are you giggling Tsuna?"
"Don't mind him Tsuna. I like it when you do that."
After some more teasing, a bit running and another laughing we separate and walk back home around seven.
Home, is not really home because there is nobody but me. If I could I would like to have a place that I could call as a real home. Place where I can share with someone I care, someone I love. Not only walls as my friend, empty room and cold bed which always wait for me. I expect Hibari-san but I don't think he wants the same.
Hibari-san is a loner so I don't think he want to live in with someone. Even if he does that person won't be me. He doesn't like me, but my body. I wish he can have a little bit feeling about me. Like someone important. What a dream I have.
The next day I go to school I still don't see Hibari-san around. He should be back to school today but I didn't see him. Usually when he doesn't need me I still can watch him from afar where he would be sitting in the reception room doing his job. But I only see Kusakabe-san there.
I can't help but remember our last session every time I miss him. I still can't believe I did such thing. I can't hold my blush whenever I think about it. God, what creature I'm turning into. But I think I won't mind if he ask me another session like that. I will do anything to see Hibari-san look like the last time.
Another day passed still no clue of Hibari-san. I asked Kusakabe-san before but he only say that Hibari-san is really busy right now and he doesn't want to see anyone, including me. That's a little hurt. Usually even how busy he is at least he will see me even it's only for half an hour.
Week passed and I missed Hibari-san so much. I miss his voice, I miss his scent, I miss his touch, I miss our night. Still no call from him. What keep him busy anyway?
"Tsuna, let's grab something in the canteen." That's Yamamoto who asked me.
"Yeah."
"Hey, what's wrong? You got that bad mood aura on you face. Want to share?"
"No it's nothing, I'm fine. Maybe I'm just a bit tired haha."
"Alright then if you say so. Let's grab something to eat. I've seen you get thin Tsuna. If you keep it like that you will fly."
"Haha.. Okay then, let's go."
Tired? Of what? Ha, who am I kidding here. I got too much rest this week. Too much nothing to do without Hibari-san around. I'm bored. Of course I have my best friends along the time but it's just different. I need him.
I don't feel hungry so I just buy a piece of bread. While I eat it I just keep my eyes on the reception room's window. That's when I see Hibari-san there, sitting on his chair. Is that really him? My eye's not tricking me here right? But I didn't hear any news of him back to the school. He didn't even ask for me. Should I ask him? No, I think it's a bad idea. I believe he will call me if he needs me. He will, he always will.
I need to calm myself. Only see Hibari-san's face but I can't hold myself wanting him. Not really my fault. He is the one who made me feel like this. Until the next four days I still can't get a touch with him. I saw him walking around the school but he never see me. Like he tried to avoid me. Is he? Why?
Now I'm standing in front of the disciplinary committee's office's door. Should I just enter? He should know that I would be here today. It's 27th anyway. I'll always be here whether he called me or not. He knows it. He was the one who made that rule. With that thought I open the door and enter the room.
"Hibari-san."
There he is sitting on his chair with those papers on his hand. How I miss this view so much. Hibari-san looks more handsome than before. Is that because of it's been a long time I didn't see him this close?
"Hibari-san, I'm here to.."
"What are you doing here Sawada?" Sawada? Did he just call me Sawada? And I catch the cold tone in his voice. "I don't remember calling you here. What do you want?"
I gulp a bit and try to answer him. "But today is 27th so I.."
Hibari-san glare at me that make me stop my word. Did I say something wrong? I don't understand. He used to welcome me with his grin, not sending me his glare. Something is wrong. I don't feel good about this.
"Hibari-san, I'm sorry. Are you..mad?"
"Why wouldn't I? You disturb me. I got a work here and there are so many things to do so get out of here."
"Hibari-san, but I.."
"Are you deaf Sawada? I want you to go. Now." What? He is joking right? He doesn't just chase me away, does he? And the way he called me, it hurt. He never called me with my family name before. He will call me herbivore or something but my family name. Why now?
"Hibari-san, I swear I won't disturb you so could you let me stay here please. I want to.."
"Sawada Tsunayoshi!" Hibari-san's sudden shout cut my word. "I said get out! Don't make me repeat my word again. You know I don't like people disobey me." He sound really angry but I still don't get it. He changed. I don't know what but something is different. I don't want his rejection. No. I know what I'm about to say will make him angrier but I can't help but ask.
"Hibari-san, is it something I did? Am I imagining things if I said that these couple of days you tried to.. avoid.. me?"
I can see his shock eyes even though he try to hide it. I don't know if I'm ready to hear his answer but I need to know. It took time until he finally say, "Yes. So?"
Those two simple words sting my heart. He was avoiding me? "Why?"
"I don't think I have to explain myself to you. For the last time Sawada before I lose my temper, get out."
"But Hibari-san, I need a reason. I promise I will do anything for you but tell me why?"
"If you really mean what you say then get lost."
"What?" Get lost like..lost? Never show up again?
"I said get lost. Was it too hard to understand? In other word I don't want to see your face ever again. Never show up in front of me anymore."
"What? Why?"
"Again, I don't have to explain anything to you."
"Please don't do this to me Hibari-san. You can do anything but this, please. I'm sorry I made you mad but don't say you don't want to see me again. Please Hibari-san, please."
Hibari-san, you're the last and the only reason for me to live, to survive. If I lose you too what am I going to do? I don't want to start imagining living without you. No. "Please don't."
"How many times should I tell you that I don't like to repeat myself Sawada. Now leave."
"You've gotta be kidding right. You don't mean it. Please don't do this to me. I love you Hibari-san. I love you."
"Sawada, I said LEAVE!"
There. How is it?
I already wrote this story until chapter 7 but I think it will take time until I publish the next chapter. I need to put my stress somewhere.
