Genre: Humor/crossover

Rating: K+

Characters: Strawhats, Caesar Clown, Orochimaru, Kabuto

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. I don't own Naruto either.

"Clown looks weird," Luffy said.

"Huh? He looks pretty normal," Nami shrugged. "For a madman."

"We've seen weirder people. This is nothing," Sanji said.

"That's it," Luffy said. "He looks normal, just creepy. That just isn't normal."

"Like it matters," Zoro shrugged.

"He looks scary," Brook remarked shivering.

"Yes. He doesn't look scary, yet he looks scary. That's what's so odd about him," Luffy explained. It made no sense to everybody else.

"That's because he's not from this world," Usopp stated in his narrative tone.

"You mean he's a ghost?" Brook shivered even harder.

"No," Usopp shook his head. "It was like this."

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Orochimaru was just reading his notes regarding his latest experiment when Kabuto entered the room. That in itself wasn't odd; his right hand often came in unannounced. What was odd was the fact that he was holding a baby in his arms and looking at it as if it was a live bomb or carrier of some really nasty and really contagious plague.

"What's that?" Orochimaru asked.

"That's experiment #1307D," Kabuto answered.

"1307D?" Orochimaru raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware we had such an experiment."

"I thought it might be the case," Kabuto nodded sagely. "You started it after you accidentally inhaled the vapors from experiment #1299B."

"That was some nasty stuff," Orochimaru grimaced. "I still shudder whenever I remember some of the things I did that week. But I still don't recall this," he pointed at the baby. That wasn't good. It suggested that it might be even worse than some of the things he did remember, like the attempt to cross a member of the Houzuki clan with the Moon County poisonous squid. Now that was something he didn't want to think about. "What is this?" he asked cautiously, dreading the answer.

"I think you wanted to create the perfect vessel," Kabuto speculated, "so you tried to combine your DNA with Uchiha Madara's."

"I did what?" Orochimaru shrieked. As much as he craved the Sharingan, this just wasn't worth it. This thing would probably plan how to overthrow him and take over the world before it was out of diapers. Maybe it was already doing so. And considering that it was combination of him and Madara, it could actually succeed. "Get rid of it!"

"Should I kill it?" Kabuto asked. Orochimaru almost nodded, but then he remembered that the thing was part him and part Madara. There was no way to be sure it was really dead. No, he had to get rid of it in a more definitive manner.

"No, we'll send it away."

"What do you mean?" Kabuto asked, puzzled.

"Take it to the dimensional gate."

"The dimensional gate?" Kabuto's face turned as grey as his hair. "You mean the one you created when you tried to copy the Hiraishin and it failed so spectacularly?"

"Yes, that one," Orochimaru confirmed. "And never say it failed spectacularly again. The Cthullu wasn't so bad."

"It just ate the whole base and the surrounding forest before it returned through the portal," Kabuto reminded him.

"Don't complain and do it," Orochimaru commanded.

"Why don't you do it?" Kabuto tried to get out of the task. He'd do almost anything to get out of coming anywhere near the gate again.

"Stop whining and do it," Orochimaru repeated his command in a dangerous tone. Kabuto resigned. If he refused now, he'd end up as a test subject and even the Dimensional Gate wasn't so bad. And the sooner the monstrosity in his arms was gone from this world the better.

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"That's crazy even for you, Usopp," Nami commented.

"So Clown is the result of some mad experiment in another world?" Luffy asked wide-eyed.

"I wonder how it was done," Chopper mused.

"Oh, you two, it was a lie," Franky rolled his eyes.

"It was?" Luffy and Chopper asked in unison.

"Maybe, maybe not," Robin shrugged. "On the Grand Line everything is possible."