Set in the episode, Perverse Instantiation: Part 2. Rather than ALIE showing Clarke a literal City of Light, Clarke is launched into several alternate realities. ALIE shows Clarke the endless possibilities for what life could be like if she were to allow all of her people to be upgraded to the City of Light.
After all, if Clarke loves her people as much as she claims, how could she subject them to the horrors of Praimfaya and more?
LAST CHAPTER:
The Ark abandons the hundred.
The hike back from Mount Weather isn't long enough. Clarke's head is reeling from everything that has happened only hours ago and all too soon she sees Camp Jaha's creaky gate swing wide. Nothings changed. The camp is the same. All that blood, all that carnage, and destruction. Yet here lies Camp Jaha, as if Clarke hasn't just committed mass genocide.
Her people are home. Arkers rush to meet the wounded Mount Weather survivors at the gate and help carry in those who cannot walk. They'll be safe. Maybe that is why her decision comes too easy because her people will be safe, Skaikru will go on with Bellamy and Kane to guide them, with Abby and Jackson to heal them. Clarke can see Bellamy but she doesn't know how to address that yet. She stops outside the gate.
"Clarke?" Monty questions her, and she looks up at the sign that reads Camp Jaha.
"Monty, I-" Clarke cuts off and it's almost as if he knows because he goes in for a hug. He doesn't say anything, neither does she. When she pulls away, he tugs his sweater tight around his body and leaves to go inside. Her gaze flicks over.
Bellamy is covered in sweat and dirt. His hair is long and lies in a curly mop on his head. She almost smiles. He turns so that he stands beside her and faces the camp, he is the first to speak.
"I think we deserve a drink."
"Have one for me."
"Hey, we can get through this," Clarke feels sick at those words. Because he is right, they can, she could. Bellamy with her she could get through the next week, month, and even year. But she doesn't want to.
"I'm not going in," she lets out.
"Clarke," Bellamy turns to look her in the eye, "If you need forgiveness I'll give it to you." She knows he means it. With him looking to her, she almost wants to.
"You're forgiven." She steals a long moment of looking into his freckled face and earnest brown eyes. But she does look away. Because even he isn't enough for her to want to say.
"Please," he begs, trying to recatch her gaze, "come inside."
She needs to make this quick before he changes her mind.
"Take care of them for me."
"Clarke-" She cute him off.
"Seeing their faces every day... it's going to remind me of what I did to get them here."
"What we did," he corrects, "You don't have to do this alone." It's an offer because he knows that by leaving she is punishing herself. She knows it too. It is an offer to share that burden. Maybe it is the wrong decision, she hesitates, but she can't put more on his shoulders.
"I bear it, so they don't have to."
He knows what she means. He knows she is telling him that this time she is keeping it from weighing on him.
"Where are you going to go?"
"I don't know," Clarke can't look at him anymore so instead she kisses his cheek and hugs him tight, hiding her face.
"May we meet again," she comforts him, she doesn't mean this. She backs out, looks at him one last time, and parts.
She hears him as she walks away. He repeats her words.
Clarke looks at the mountains in front of her and casts away Camp Jaha, Bellamy, and the rest of Skaikru.
Clarke travels east. The next three days are hard and the nights are worse. Her heartaches. On the second day, she had discarded the gun into a lake after waking up from a nightmare, Dante's dead stare haunting her. It un-tethers her, losing the gun. She keeps her knives though.
Trikru is far behind her when she finds her first clan. Blue Cliff Clan, Ouskejon Kru. They are peaceful enough, she trades all her furs from the last three days. From a beaver's hide, she gets two nights in and four meals. From a softer, though smaller, fox's hide she gets herself a sketchpad, how the grounder had come across it Clarke didn't know but she was grateful for the find. During that time she talks to a man who tells her of the glowing forests Southeast, similar to the one Octavia had shown the delinquents.
"And Northeast?" She asks him.
"Podakru tayon Azgeda," (The border of Lake People and Ice Nation) he warns her.
Clarke decides on neither and heads straight east for Rock Line, Boudalan. They are more violent. Clarke finds. Day one of crossing into their territory she is greeted with bounty hunters who call her "Wanheda." She leaves them worse for wear and learns to cover her face in paint and a scarf.
She crosses mangrove swamps and wetlands.
Delphi nation is more inviting. Clarke spends upwards of two weeks there.
"No kill marks?" A man asks her when she gets her first tattoo. It is an intricate symbol of the Ark. The artist had laughed when she told him she wanted something that represented a boat in the sky.
"Not enough skin," is her answer. She is met with grim silence. Clarke had drawn the Ark insignia for him, wrapped in the symbol for space.
When she leaves he speaks once more before she slides the entry curtains closed.
"The stedaunon as klin sqwed up." (The dead demand to be paid for.)
The chilling remark stays with her.
Fifty-eight new kill marks line the shoulder opposite the new tattoo. One for each of the hundred she knew to be gone. Her direction changes and Clarke detours south.
On her way to Trishanakru she comes across a rural village where she finds sickness. There are three of them and they are too young. Fevers. Clarke pushes away memories of her people and their bloody eyes, instead focusing on the two boys and little girl. It gives her purpose for the first time in a long time, and all three kids are well when she packs up and continues on her weary travel.
The next tattoo she is given is in thanks for helping the village. It is a band around her bicep and it drips three triangles, for three lives saved. Healer. Clarke places it on the same side as her fifty-eight marks as a reminder that she has not yet repaid her debt.
Clarke no longer pays attention to the time. She sees the glowing forests and they are beautiful, yes. But she finds no pleasure in them. However, she does come across a nomadic tribe. Hodneskru. The name represents peace and promise: they mean no harm. Miko and Adriana, the leaders of the ragtag group, invite Clarke along.
"Tagon," Clarke calls herself. A girl with grey eyes and red hair laughs at that.
"If you are going to make a name, think of a better one than 'name." Clarke stands by the chosen word, and the red-haired girl introduces herself.
"Kida."
The wild girl is her age, and she becomes Clarke's new favorite person to talk to. Though Clarke doesn't talk much. Mostly Kida is the one to ramble on.
Kida introduces her to several other people. Clarke absolutely loves them and their stories. Some have been banished, some left, some had nothing left to stay for. One of the banished men, Ta'aroa, reminds her of Murphy. This version of Murphy looks nothing like the delinquent Clarke had known, but she finds that talking to Ta'aroa makes her miss John.
With each new person she meets, Clarke is astounded by the variety of personalities, culture, and appearance. Every size, shape, skin tone, hair, and eye color is included. These outcasts each bring a new tale to the table. Clarke's nightly routine becomes learning a new tale each night. Kida recounts hers first.
Kida starts by revealing to Clarke a tattoo which crawls up from her left wrist all the way to the base of her neck, she tells Clarke of the Desert Clan she was born in. Kida loved it, once. She describes their culture and tradition, Clarke is most fascinated by the reason Kida left.
"Here, if you are born with a disfigurement you are shunned," Kida explains, "I left when they killed my brother, Yacob."
"For having a disfigurement?" Clarke asks, but Kida is already shaking her head.
"For falling in love with a nomad who did."
Kida gives no more detail about the torrid affair, instead, she describes the desert to Clarke. With her descriptions and stories, Clarke is able to create an image of a canyon in her sketchbook. It is the drawing that catches the other people's attention, so each night she listens to their stories and draws their old homes.
Nearly half of the nomads have been banished for disfigurements. Clarke draws a pregnant woman, who Clarke finds beautiful. Usha, who rests the nub of one arm over her swollen, pregnant belly, keeps her dark dreadlocks in thick ropes which hang to her waist. Clarke illustrates Usha while she recounts her time as a nomad since that is the only life she has ever known.
Her partner is a man named Riku. He is a tall, broad-shouldered man and he has tattoos everywhere, but they aren't the typical black ink. They are white. Most of Riku's stories are explaining his tattoos. The script along his side reads: Ye gonplei ste nowe odon. (Your fight is never over.) Riku believes that there are stages of our lives, that we are reborn again and again, that this is just one adventure before the next, and we pass here only if our mission is finished. It's a nice concept, Clarke thinks, but it doesn't fit for her.
The following night Clarke meets Trishna. The woman is tough and scarred, but she is kind to everyone. As is her daughter, Holly. Trishna ran from her clan when her daughter was cast out. Holly has a lump of scar tissue which has closed one eye shut completely, and pulls her mouth drastically to the left. Her right eye, however, is a startling sky blue, and her hair is bright blonde, almost white. She is beautiful as well, Clarke thinks, they all are.
Aside from Holly, there are two other children. Binns and Eden. Eden is the tiniest thing in the world, he's less than 2 years old and he's the smiliest baby (and person) Clarke has ever met. His big blinking doe eyes, which Clarke adores, are a stark contrast against his pale skin. Binns, on the other hand, has olive skin and for the most part, never makes a sound. He watches the people around him closely and Clarke sees him scrunch his nose when he is deep in thought. Kida jokes that it'll take a while for the intelligent three-year-old to grow into such large hands.
Every night Kida tells the three kids stories. Her stories vary from tales of the desert to the sky and most are about the stars. Kida tells the kids of warriors who fought valiantly for their place in the stars. When Kida tells the children of the missing star, Clarke has to bite her tongue to keep in the bitter laugh.
"Tree Mother," is the name Kida gives the star, "was a kind though mighty warrior. Her children are all around you," Kida tells them gesturing to the trees.
"She knew that the sun was sick with a fever. Soon the sun would not be able to contain its fever and it would burn so bright that it would reach the ground."
Eden is asleep, and his light snores distract Kida for a moment. Holly is patient and silent, but Binns pulls her attention back.
"The Tree Mother loved her children with all the love of the sky and stars combined, she couldn't stand to watch them burn. So she fell. Tree Mother flew down from her heavens to protect her trees from burning."
The irony hurts.
Although everyone else tells Clarke their tales, she refrains from sharing hers but she does reveal her name. Clarke isn't sure if the group suspects she is Skaikru. She doesn't ask. After stories, Gloria will share a song with everyone. Clarke sways in time to the melodies though she will not join in for at least a month and when she does Gloria is ecstatic, Clarke sings low to compliment Gloria's clear and husky voice. Everyone either dances or smiles as they listen. Aside from Vaego, a young man not much older than Clarke, who fashions a makeshift drum and uses his palm to play along.
Kida dances with Binns around the fire. As do Yavanna and Sam before snuggling up to one another to watch. Yavanna's mother watches with a small smile and wrinkled eyes. Even Clarke dances on occasion, once with Holly, another time with Vaego.
Clarke is happy.
Kida and Vaego have to help Clarke in order to hold up the map she has made in its entirety. It is autumn now and the tribe is up to thirty-one people. In their last village, Clarke had gotten her second tattoo: the symbol of her tribe. Trishna teaches Clarke new braids to use on her thick and long hair, and Vaego teaches Clarke how to wield a sword.
The hodgepodge group travels everywhere. Some places they stay longer than others and some they avoid due to wars or conflicts. More people join. Among the newest people are three siblings, Faeryn, Mokoli'i, and Kaōhoa. The three siblings were banished from Floukru (The Boat People) as a result of violence during the last great war of the clans. Kaōhoa, the middle sibling, is a hot-headed boy aged seventeen years, and he started a riot when Floukru announced they would stay out of the clan's wars. When Kaōhoa was banished, his siblings joined him. Faeryn, who is the youngest at age fifteen, flirts with everyone. In return, most of the tribe chuckles or laughs and pats her back or ruffles her charcoal hair. Mokoli'i has the saddest story, in Clarke's opinion.
"When we left Floukru, I had only just been married to the most amazing woman, Tané for a few short months, when I left with my siblings she did not join me. I mourned for her every waking second, and often in my sleep as well," Mokoli'i's eyes are closed and his words are steady.
"Turns out she had missed me too," Mokoli'i said with a shaky chuckle, "because it was only two weeks later that she found us."
Then Mokoli'i's voice becomes dark and sad and angry and tired all at once.
"She became sick in a matter of days. So faint that Tané could not stand for fear of blacking out and so hot that I knew she must have been cooking inside out. Then the vomit started."
It is a difficult thing to hear for Clarke, Tané's sickness. It must have been a thousand times worse to see.
"Not just water or food, my Tané threw up blood."
Mokoli'i's next words are those of a broken man, "I slit her throat. When she begged for death's hand."
That night is the first night Clarke is able to tell anyone in the tribe of Finn. Not everything, but enough. Mokoli'i understands her even if their circumstance differs. "Tough decisions," Mokoli'i states when she finishes.
"Tough situations," is her response.
The following night, she tells her story. Part of it anyway, she omits most violent aspects. Kida laughs when she finishes.
"Sleng, Clarke, you're a better storyteller than I am."
When Vaego isn't helping her learn to use a sword, Paora works on hand-to-hand combat with her. Paora is covered from head to toe in scars, so only after Clarke grew to know Paora as a humorous man, with a gut-busting contagious laugh, did she stop glancing at him warily.
Others help too, Kida teaches her bow and arrow; Eli, Adriana's partner, gives her a double-edged dagger and teaches her to use it. Clarke tries to ignore it, but she hates herself. For moving on.
There are two occasions when the tribe comes across abandoned villages. Both times the villages are decimated. The world crumbled and dirty with rubble and dried blood and bones. Ta'aroa finds guns in what must have been a trading post but Riku tells him and everyone else not to touch them. When he does Clarke releases a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. She'd had enough of guns to last her a lifetime.
The guns are in the same area that Faeryn finds a stuffed horse who she gifts to Holly. It is ragged and crusted but the girl beams. Holly hugs Faeryn before rushing off to show her mother. Trishna kisses Faeryn's cheeks and the teenager promptly finds two more toys, for Binns and Eden.
"Clarke!" Holly bounces up and down ecstatically, "look at what Faeryn gave me!" Clarke grins at the ball of never-ending energy.
"Have you named him yet?" Holly's face pinches up.
"Well, uh..." The little girl sits on the question for a good minute before deciding on "Butterfly." It is such a precious moment that Clarke draws Hooly and her horse later that night.
It is the first moment when Clarke doesn't feel terrible for moving forward. The first time she thinks maybe it is a positive thing.
Everyone in the tribe has become someone of meaning to Clarke. Admittedly some more than others, but nonetheless. She will not label them family for fear of fully replacing her old people, but she does recognize them as her tribe and friends. She loves them. Every once in a while they remind her too much of Skaikru or Arkers. When Faeryn goes on a fiery rant or takes chances into her own hands and Clarke can see Raven's eyes glinting or Octavia's stone cold strength. When Clarke squints and catches a glance of Monty hidden in Vaego's features. When Sam speaks and Clarke can hear Nathan Miller. When Riku's personality and humor match that of her dad's.
Clarke pushes those thoughts in a vault and slams that door shut.
They come across the ocean at one point. The water stretches outwards forever, glittering and rhythmically lapping on the shore. It is terrifying. When Binns, who has no family, spots it, he is overjoyed.
"Wada!" He shouts to Clarke. He splashes in the waves around him.
"Wada!" He cheers, and both Clarke, and Kida and Eden join him. The spend the day in the salty air and cool waves. It is a refreshing break for Clarke's sore and calloused feet. She draws it several times. Usha standing with Riku shin-deep in the sand from being still. Faeryn with her and Kaōhoa's sandcastle inhabited by crabs and other shellfish. Binns and Kida running away from the crashing waves.
When Mokoli'i spots the outline of an island, the tribe debates finding a way to cross and venture into that horizon. When Binns sees the outline he tells Kida sternly that the "bad men" live there. Mokoli'i shrugs and scoops up the toddler to sit on his shoulder. The tribe turns their backs to the sea.
Within a week of leaving the seas behind, Usha beings contraptions. Real contraptions, not the trick ones which are nothing compared to these ones. Clarke is in charge. She had been dreading this day, as the only births she'd known before now were those in Space. On the Ark, miscarriages or other complications were typical. But she is not alone, Adriana helps and Riku is there for Usha. It is hours of contraptions. Hours of Usha groaning and biting down on rags. Hours of Adriana's soft comforting words, and hours of Usha's crass shouts. If she wasn't so focused, Clarke might have laughed at the crude insults. Usha was normally a sweet and kind woman, now she was verbally attacking everything from Riku and his 'mami' to Clarke's 'nomajoka.'
When it is over, Clarke laughs in relief. Her tense shoulders loosen up and she washes what she can off of their baby. Riku's hand is permanently crushed and Usha is covered in a sheen of sweat. But the pair are grinning, absolutely glowing in the presence of their new little girl.
They name her Rouz after her russet, almost red eyes. The tribe celebrates the new life in song and dance. In the next few days, the tribe would realize the lack of sleep the little angel meant. But for now, they rejoiced for the new member. Clarke even adds a triangle to her tattooed bicep.
Months pass and Hodneskru winds up on snowy cliffs. So far Clarke had trekked deserts, swamps, and wetlands with the group. Nothing like snow. The brisk cold leaves the smaller ones, Holly, Eden, Binns, and Rouz, with pink nipped noses and ears. Clarke finds that drawing flow capped mountains and forests is a whole new skill, nothing like warm sands and salty seas.
The tribe had been walking most of the day before setting up camp in a cave, one that was well off their path and hidden by foliage and snow banks, where they had set up a crackling fire to enjoy the peace, the kids were asleep and the rest were too tired to sing or tell stories.
When most everyone's had slipped shut, Vaego turned to Clarke who was nodding off.
"I'll take first watch," he offered. Clarke could only hum her response before her own eyes closed.
The following morning a guttural growl caused Clarke to jump up from the ground. In front of her were two massive hounds and in between them, a figure covered in furs. The dogs were menacing creatures, one of them was missing an ear and the other had ridges crossing his muzzle. The figure was not a broad one, it was fairly slim despite layers of furs.
In her peripheral vision, Clarke could see others were awake and defensive as well; Riku, Kida, Miko, Adriana.
"I don't mean to startle you," a feminine voice stated. The figure unwrapped a shawl from around her neck to reveal a woman with dark-toned skin and braided hair. From behind her Adriana gasped and ran past her to hug the woman who received her with open arms.
"Ava!" Miko called out in a greeting.
Clarke learns later from Kida that these people call themselves Reinjas (or Rangers.) Ava's group had once been a part of Miko and Adriana's own tribe. Clarke can recall the story from one of her first nights with the group.
Ava fills in the gaps. They had grown tired of the nomadic lifestyle and chosen the mountain ranges to stay. The unclaimed peaks were vast enough to roam somewhat while still offering a permanent home.
"The hounds," Ava explained, "were an initially an issue. However we thought it too cruel to steal their home, so we worked to train them. They have become invaluable assets."
Hodneskru is introduced to the Reijas a half hour later. Some of the oldest members reunite with old family and friends. It's sweet. Ava has three children: two daughters and one son. The son is Clarke's age and when they are introduced he tells her his name is "Kavin."
Clarke would spend the next few days talking with him and drawing I'llah, his wolf-hound.
Life continues on. Hodneskru avoids Trikru and wanders every but. Kavin joins them when they leave the snow-capped peaks, as do others in the time following. On the occasion, Clarke hears of Wanheda or Skaikru but those incidents fade out.
The group is walking through the glowing forests one morning. Clark walks with Binns, watching as he chases after luminescent blue butterflies. She chuckles when he turns to pout for having missed. Her heart is warm and full for her family.
There is no pressure in this life, not really.
She is not Clarke Griffin, the girl who landed on Earth from the sky. The girl who was born on the ark, but sent to Earth to die. The girl who loved a boy whose heart was his downfall. The girl who whispered "May we meet again," in her sleep when the nightmares showcased her father.
She is not Wanheda, the Commander of death, the fearless warrior. The warrior who did what it took to survive regardless of means. The warrior whose hands and heart dripped in blood, her face set in stone, who believed love was a weakness.
She is just Clarke, a member of a peaceful group who travels wherever. A woman who helps people, and it doesn't come at the cost of others. A woman just like any other. She is just Clarke, and that works for her.
She doesn't think of Finn when she comforts Binns. And that is okay, she is okay. She's moving on, happy enough.
"No," Clarke whispers to ALIE, "that isn't what I want."
She screws her eyelids shut to rid herself of Hodneskru. Of Kida, Ferren, and Usha, and Vaego.
"This isn't real."
She opens her eyes to see John Murphy's steel gray ones examining her own.
