It was a rather boring and tedious week in the compound. Everyone was constantly watching their backs and making sure to not give the show its material. Everybody rarely spoke to each other, looked at each other, or even touched each other on the shoulder, arm, or wrist*. During their free time of not talking or going on missions, they searched for the carema's. They had done this before, oh how they tried, but they could find no trace of any of the cameras. Either someone was moving them around for the show or someone was in the hideout moving them. One day, after weeks upon having no meetings from their boss, they finally got one. Everyone looked at each other wondering who dared to do something stupid or crazy , for the first time, smiled at them. Not a small, approving smile, but a "Holy shit, is that the Joker!?" grin on his face. Nobody, not even Konan, had ever seen Pain smile like that before. It was starting to creep everybody out, including Kakuzu who was the most fearless out of the Akatsuki. "Congradulations, you simpletons. You finally did it! You haven't given that fucking show a drop of material! I'll give you all raises…!"

Here everybody cheered while Kakuzu just scowled as mind you that would be more money out of the safe. Kakuzu grumbled under his breath as everyone delivered pats on each other's backs, shook hands, and praised each other. Even Itachi crack a smile. When everyone settled down, his smile dropped into a frown. "…is what I would say if you all weren't supposed to do that anyway!"

"FUCKER!" shouted Hidan above all the disappointed and pissed off muttered. Kakuzu breathed in relief. Pain had nearly given him a heart attack with that kinda talk!"

"You all better keep up being proper members or else I'll give those bastards the material they crave so much!"

Everybody pretty much knew what that meant instantly. If one of them dared to misbehave or do something stupid, Pain was probably going to do something embarrassing to them on camera. Though some of the things they did were already embarrassing enough, they didn't want to find out how much more embarrassed they could be by Pain and/or Konan.

They were dismissed after a few of them were given missions to do. Deidara, Itachi, Tobi, and Kisame were to take down a crime lord in the land of lightening. The four were relieved to leave as this meant they could do whatever they wanted without the hidden cameras in their faces. Once they were outside and far away from the hideout, Tobi farted.

"Oh my god, Tobi!" Deidara waved a hand in the air. "What the fuck is wrong with you!? What the hell did you eat?"

"I've been holding that in all week!" exclaimed the masked man. "Do you not know how terrified I was to poot? I couldn't give those people material! I have a reputation to keep up!"

"What reputation?" asked Kisame. "All of us have made names for ourselves somewhere. I don't see anybody getting scared of you."

"Well that's because…" Tobi got quiet.

"Ha! Can't think of anything, can you fartzilla?" smirked Deidara.

Tobi started mimicking the infamous "Deidara does the Ayumi-chan's dance" causing Kisame to burst out laughing. He even began badly singing the song while tears of laughter ran down Kisame's face, Itachi just stared while trying not to crack a smile, and Deidara was turning red in embarrassment and fury.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH ASSHOLE!" He shouted.

"But I thought you like Ayumi-chan, Deidara-chan," he said mockingly.

"FUCK YOU!" He shouted again before storming off.

"That's quite enough, Tobi," said the always calm Uchiha. "We have to keep going if we want to catch our target before he moves."

Tobi nodded and the four of them continued forward. Deidara was too pissed to talk, Kisame talked about his days in the academy with Tobi, and Itachi was quietly, as usual, in front of the chattering pair. Every now and then, the team looked to see if anybody was following them. Being criminals, it made sense they would do so. However, one never did know with the "Akatsuki Secrets" show. They could still be following them. Sadly only Itachi was thinking about this possibility. When he brought this up with Kisame, the older man just shrugged it off and told Itachi that he had nothing to worry about. Maybe he was right, but he couldn't afford to be wrong.

"Just chill out and let loose, Itachi!" said Tobi. "They're probably too scared to follow us."

Later that night, they had set up camp in the woods. Deidara had settled in for the night while Tobi went off to go fishing. Itachi had been in the middle of setting up their tent when he felt a hard slap on his ass. The Uchiha turned to glare into the grinning shark's face. He didn't for long as he was pulled into the embrace of the man. "You know we haven't done anything for a while."

"And for a good reason too," he pointed out.

"The tent's nearly finished…"

"And Deidara's in the other one."

"I got a sock." He sang.

"So use it."

"Gladly," here he squeezed Itachi's behind.

"That's not what I meant," he blushed.

"Are we gonna do this or what, Itachi?"

He peered over to the trees where Tobi headed and then over to Deidara's tent. The man was loudly snoring away. He couldn't detect anyone following them. He sighed. "Fine, but be quiet."

The two hurriedly finished the tent and went inside. The tent shook like crazy with the occasional grunt or moan being heard from inside. Little did they know, someone was watching them.


*You thought something else, perv? lol