Punishment ch4

The Italian dialog is courtesy of my son, who is fluent (unlike me, who is not!). If anyone would like a translation, I can send it on.

Still not mine. Oh well.


Light.

Comfort.

Peace.

Joy.

Jane Rizzoli opened her eyes and stared around her. She knew that something was seriously different when she saw her grandmother walking towards her. But nonna was different, somehow - she looked younger and more beautiful than ever. "Nonna?"

"Aah, Jane, sei sempre la mia nipotina! e ancora bella!" was what Jane heard her nonna whisper in her ear as she was enveloped in the warmest hug she'd had in what seemed like forever. Jane felt nonna gently patting her on the back, then she felt a gentle push away. "Let me look at you!"

Instantly embarrassed, Jane demurred. "No, nonna, I'm ugly. All these scars..." she faded off as she looked at her palms to find they were healed and whole. She looked at nonna, who had moved to stand beside her, and who was smiling gently at her.

"Uccellina, facciamo una passagiatta," nonna replied, and taking Jane's perfect unscarred right hand in her left, the two women started walking in the warm sunshine.

After what seemed like a few minutes, nonna directed Jane to sit on what looked like a white marble bench under a spreading shade tree. "You have many questions, no?"

Jane nodded. "What is this place, nonna?"

Again, the gentle smile. "This is a between place, nipotina. It is beautiful, no? How do you feel now?"

"I feel peace, nonna," Jane replied as she leant her head onto her grandmother's shoulder. "I feel like I belong here, with you."

Jane felt the lilt of quiet laughter. "And I would love for you to stay, but we both know that you cannot."

Jane felt a stab of disappointment. "I alway knew that eventually I'd end up in Hell," she answered quietly.

"Oh no, uccellina! You will never go to that place! You are good and kind and loving. Never that place for you!" nonna finished with a little force.

"So, I have to go back?"

"Si, nipotina. You still have much to do, and your mama needs you. Your brothers need you." Nonna looked away, then back at Jane. "And your Maura needs you."

Jane stood up and walked away from the bench, then turned, thunderclouds shading her brow. "No, nonna! None of them need me." She looked at the grass beneath her feet before she continued in a whisper. "Ma loves Maura more than she loves me. Frankie and Tommy tolerate me." Slow tears rolled down her cheeks as she finished, "And Maura hates me for shooting her dad." Jane wiped her eyes. "Please, nonna, let me stay with you!" she pleaded.

Nonna was up in an instant, enveloping Jane in her arms again. "Aah, bella, search your heart. You know how you feel about your family, no?" At Jane's nod, nonna continued. "Your Maura is your family, too. She is in as much pain as your mama, and the pain is something that only you can fix."

Jane sniffed and nodded her head once. "So, what happens now? Do we have to go somewhere?"

"No, uccellina. We just wait for it to happen."

"Will it hurt?"

"I'm so sorry."

Jane nodded again. "Will you hold me?"

"Forever, nipotina. Forever."

Jane relaxed against her grandmother, revelling in the feel of nonna after so many years apart. She had started to drift off, safe in her nonna's arms when

PAIN!

Unbearable, inescapable, pain.

###

Maura had just gotten off the hard hospital bed when Angela burst through the door. "Maura! You gotta come!" Angela's voice trailed off.

"What's happened to Jane?"

Angela burst into tears, and grabbing Maura's hand, began to drag her out of her room and back to Jane. "Angela, what's going on?" Maura demanded, an edge of panic in her voice.

"Janie's heart just stopped!"

Suddenly it was Maura dragging Angela to Jane's room. The two women took less than a minute to run down the stairs and turn the corner. It was controlled chaos.

Maura looked into Jane's room in ICU to see a doctor kneeling at Jane's side administering CPR. Instructions were being shouted out at whoever was there.

"Charging, charging, charging...CLEAR!" Maura saw Jane's limp form convulse with the force of the shock, then fall back onto the bed. "Still nothing! Another epinephrine, now!"

"Charging, charging, charging...CLEAR!" The same shock, the same convulsion, the same result - nothing.

Maura pushed her way past the doctors to stand by Jane's head. While the doctor on the bed kept up the CPR, Maura started talking to Jane.

"Jane, I know you can hear me," she said as the noise in the room fell away until all Maura could hear were the words she was saying to Jane. "You can't leave me, you hear me, you can't." She leant forward, and kissed Jane on the forehead. She heard the shout to clear, and let go of Jane for the milliseconds of the shock. Still nothing.

The doctor doing CPR yelled, "How long?"

"Seven minutes, doctor."

He looked at Maura, silently asking for directions. "Try again," she said, "please." came out in a strangled whisper. He nodded, and the team kept up their pace.

"Come on, Jane, you're stronger than this. I know you, and I'm so sorry for doubting you. I'm so sorry for how I treated you." All around her, the clamour raged, but Maura was not going to let anything distract her from her friend - her BEST friend - and how to reach her. She heard the chant of 'charging, charging,' fade, and all of her focus narrowed to the brunette in the bed before her. She leant in and said, directly in Jane's ear, "I can't do this without you." She heard the command 'CLEAR!', and just before the shock, she said to Jane, "I love you. Come back to ME."

The shock pulsed through the detective.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"Come on, Jane. Fight."

Silence.

Beep.

Beep.

Ba-dum.

Ba-dum.