Everything On Our Own
By Gilmoregirl1979 (the reigning Quote Queen)
Rating: PG-13
Hi this is your friendly disclaimer: I REJECT ASP's/DR's REALITY AND SUBSTITUE MY OWN! Once again, I don't own (DAMN IT! DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!), No Harm No Sue.
R/R: Yes, please I love reviews; I wanna marry them (as previously stated, I have strange passions.)
LUVZ: I miss you!
FEATURED BETA: Localizy, a BIG Co Author credit to Localizy and her kick ass muse for helping me knock this one out. BABY you're the goddess of all things cool and awesome!!
A/N: Because I really love you guys, that's the only reason I continued this one…that and Localizy said she would stab me in the jaw…
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Chapter 4:
Confused About How As Well
After Luke escorted Rory out the door he hurried up the stairs, wanting to be there for Lorelai. He knew that the words that were coming out of Rory's mouth like verbal diarrhea cut Lorelai deeply and he knew that she was questioning herself and questioning whether or not Luke believed the hateful words. He was surprised as he opened the door to see Lorelai standing by the window, apparently watching Rory leave. He walked up behind her and, when he felt her lean into him, wrapped his arms around her.
Lorelai sighed and asked, "Is it wrong that I don't want anything to do with her right now?"
Luke paused before answering, "Depends on why you don't want to."
"If the Rory 6 months ago had said that to me, I would have assumed it was because she was scared; scared of losing me and scared of losing you. This Rory though, she said those words out of hate and spite. She sounded like Emily all the times my mother told me how much I disappointed the family and ruined the name. My daughter is treating me like a black mark on her perfect record."
Luke sighed and hugged her closer. "That seems like a valid reason."
"I was surprised to see her. Then, the surprise turned to hope that maybe she wasn't giving up everything that we worked for, that she had come to tell me that she realized that Mitchum Huntzberger was a McBastard and was wrong, and that she was going to go back to school. Eventually that hope went away. She isn't coming back, Luke. Apparently living the blue book life with tea parties and cotillions is her dream. I just wish…" Lorelai broke down into tears, holding onto Luke as if she was afraid he was going to leave her too.
Lorelai cried into the night, not falling asleep until long after the sun rose. He knew that she had been holding this in since Rory quit and left home and he just wanted her to let it out and stop trying to be so strong. He just held her while she slept, called Lane to open the diner if she wanted to, and waited for her to wake up. Before he drifted off to sleep he saw on the floor he saw what had triggered her to come down to the diner in the first place, discovering Rory sitting at the counter. There was a box of photos she was sorting through no doubt reminiscing over her once perfect angel girl. Her angel that was now lost.
As the sun was setting Lorelai woke up, gasping for air. Luke, who had been sleeping beside her shot up and looked at the freaked out Lorelai. She was frantically looking around the apartment as if she was searching for something. He reached out and touched her arm, hoping to calm her down. "Lorelai?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.
"Luke?" she asked tentatively, as if she was afraid she was still dreaming. "God," she said leaning into his embrace. "I had an awful dream. Rory came and said what she said again, except this time you believed her and you left me too."
"Hey, you know I won't leave you," he said, kissing her shoulder.
"I can't believe that's what she thinks of me. How dare she think I'd run from you! If anyone is doing the running it's her!"
"I know," Luke gave her a squeeze.
"Oh Lord, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose it like this. You were up all night and you didn't work. It's just…"
"Hey it's been a while since you've seen her. She caught me off guard too. Frankly I'm relieved you let it out. You are human and you've been holding it in for so long. Lorelai, you don't have to hide anything from me. I'm your husband."
Lorelai cracked a smile, "Say it again."
"I'm your husband," he said, in a low, gravely voice, kissing her neck.
"Holy painted Sally, you're really good at that," Lorelai giggled, finally happy for the first time in 24 hours, thankful to spend a night with her husband and forget all the problems that are around during the day.
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Rory had been pouting ever since her return to the Gilmore mansion. She grumbled through her community service, sighed through her duties at the DAR, remained silent during a polite dinner with her grandparents, and then retired, cranky and curmudgeonly, to the pool house. Even though she felt betrayed, and knew her grandparents felt the same, she never revealed that Lorelai and Luke were already married.
She didn't know why she didn't reveal the big secret. After all, the Gilmores had been cut out of Lorelai's life as well and Rory had no real loyalty to Lorelai now that the new Mrs. Danes was starting her new life with Luke. Even so, she kept the secret to herself, probably because she was still absorbing it. She spent her time wondering how Lorelai had gotten Luke to elope… again. Rory chuckled at the thought of Luke going through another elopement. However, it was Lorelai, princess of persuasion and, considering that he has been in love with her forever, of course Luke would marry her. Rory starting sulking again at these thoughts of her mother since, had her mother been a true princess of persuasion, Lorelai would have been able to convince Rory to go back to Yale, critics to her abilities be damned.
No you don't Rory. Don't go doubting yourself again. You made a choice and you have to stick with it. You aren't cut out for journalism. The thing was, compared to Lorelai, Rory was always doubting herself. Lorelai was the shining star everywhere she went and Rory meekly followed Lorelai's lead. Rory hadn't been alone at college for three hours before begging her mommy to come back and save her. Lorelai had always been Rory's cheerleader, always in her corner. With Lorelai's enthusiasm and encouragement, Rory felt she could do anything, take on the world, follow her dreams. Until that one day when she was put in her place by an expert, Mitchum Huntzberger, someone who knew what he was talking about. Then Rory made one decision on her own and the perfect relationship between mother and daughter not only fractured, it disintegrated. Now Rory was just floating through her days, clinging to mundane routine. No longer extraordinary, no longer special, no longer anything because she didn't have the praise of her mother propping up her foolish hopes and dreams.
It was still very ironic that no matter how angry Rory was at Mitchum for turning her world upside down, she was still dating his son. Logan had snuck in to the pool house that night, unobserved by the Elder Gilmores in order to cheer Rory up and give her some company. However, Rory just went through the motions of having a movie night, made popcorn, put in a movie, denied anything was wrong, and cuddled on the couch with her boyfriend, attempting to make witty comments about the movie. However, when Logan expressed an interest in pursuing the cuddling, Rory did her best to follow that routine as well, but she soon realized she wasn't in the mood. "Logan, can we just… I don't know, not do this tonight."
"Okay, sure. Are you still thinking about your mom?"
"I am not thinking about her!"
"Right, that's why since you came back from Stars Hollow you have been Zombie Rory. I'm sorry I have to put my foot down and say that I don't like it."
"Oh and what would you like instead?" Rory said, anger evident in her voice.
"For one thing for you to tell me what my father said to you that made you do a complete tailspin from your 'oh so well thought out' plan. What made you come to me that night that we stole the boat? And more importantly, what did your mother say to you that put you in this funk?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes it does. Whatever she said is getting to you and what ever my father said has turned you into someone I don't know. You're not the same girl I fell for at Yale. You belong there, with your quirks and your books. You belong back in good graces with your mom."
"She's married okay!"
"What?"
"That day I told her I was dropping out of school, she eloped with her boyfriend. My mother got married and I wasn't there. She just hit reboot and is starting over with Luke."
"And you don't like Luke?"
"I don't like that she just threw caution to the wind and forgot about all the plans we made before. We made plans for everything; our trip to Europe, my 21st birthday, and the off chance that she got married. We had it all worked out before when she was engaged to Max, then of course that got changed, because god forbid Lorelai Gilmore make a commitment to anyone, but we would still plan and daydream and suggest what the big day would be like. She was supposed to make her own dress because who could design it better than her. She wanted to have it at the Independence inn, but that burned down. I knew she's been thinking about marriage since my grandparents renewed their vows. When she and Luke were apart after that and she was a sniveling broken mess she told me how it was going to be with him had then gotten married, when they got married. Dammit they are married! I hated to see her so heartbroken. I don't like that she didn't even tell me now that she decided to against her marriage phobia character. I don't like that she rushed into this decision."
"Maybe your mother feels the same way."
"What?"
"Rory you're being a hypocrite. You didn't consult your mother when you dropped out of Yale. Hell you didn't even tell me. You still won't tell me what my father said to you."
"You want to know! Fine, he said I didn't have it! That I wasn't cut out for the business. That I didn't have the guts to take a chance. That I should find something else," Rory shouted, her voice choked with tears.
"He said that? To you?"
"Yes okay, he agrees with your mother that I'm not good enough you. Happy now!"
Logan only shook his head while mentally debating how he was going to kill his father, "You fell for it."
"I fell for what?" Rory said, tears streaming down her face.
"It's the Huntzburger reverse psychology."
"What are you talking about?"
"I was raised with it Rory. Why do you think I've tried so hard to defy him? In my dad's crazy mind he tells you what he thinks you should hear to get you going. If you get angry and a fire lit in you, then you will do anything and everything to prove him wrong and be the better or it. On the other hand, if you don't have it, you will fall like a house of cards and proving him right, and becoming the very thing he pegged you as."
Rory was confused, "But why would he do that?"
"My dad is an ass. What has he seen of your work? I've seen you day in day out dedicated to a story. Staying up, pulling long hours at the Yale Daily News till it's perfect. Then, you recharge at home with your mom."
"Don't bring her into this."
"Why not? She is your best friend who you are most comfortable with."
"But she kicked me out! What kind of best friend kicks their best friend out! What kind of mother kicks their daughter out!"
"A mother that knows her daughter needs a good kick in the behind to realize that she is giving up everything they worked for because some, what was it, butt faced miscreant decided to play mind games. She was trying to help you Rory. You rolled over like a dead dog and didn't even think through what you were doing. She knew that and wanted you to think about what you were doing, what you were giving up. Don't you realize it?" Logan said softly, hands on Rory's shoulders.
Realization hit Rory as she crumpled to the ground. Logan sat on the floor nezt to her and just held her as she cried out all her frustrations and anger at herself, at his father, and her situation with her mother. Eventually, Rory fell into a deep, but restless sleep. Logan picked her up and carried her to her bedroom and laid her under the covers, crawling in next to her. In her sleep, she curled up in his arms while she had disconcerting dreams about Yale, her mother, and Christiane Amanpour.
They were still in bed late the next morning, both still sleeping and wrapped in eachothers arms, when Richard entered the poolhouse.
"Rory?" he called. "My dear, are you still in bed," he said, opening up the bedroom door. The sight before him made him pause and wonder what he would have done if he had seen this 21 years ago. The pause was brief, not even 10 seconds when he realized that if this happened 21 years ago, he would react the same way he was going to react now. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!"
The sleeping couple sat quickly up, the blankets fallen off their clothed bodies, a sight that Richard was grateful for. However, this behavior needed to be nipped in the bud.
"You two, main house, NOW!" Richard boomed, before turning and storming out of the pool house, yelling for Emily before he was even in calling distance to the main house.
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Rory and Logan were extremely uncomfortable sitting on the couch as the elder Gilmores were taking turns lecturing. Richard and Emily seemed to be of one mind, that Logan spending the night, or even being alone with Rory in the pool house would not occur again.
"I will not have this not in my house," Richard said, not for the first time in this long circular conversation.
"Well, I'm not in your house I'm in the pool house," Rory said, also not for the first time.
"Don't get technical with us," Emily warned with a finger. "I don't believe this. Did your mother let you run around like this… like some cheap floozy."
"If I may, Mrs. Gilmore…" Logan attempted to interrupt…again.
"Son, I warned you that if you want to live you will not speak," Richard said, standing over Logan, using his height and build to intimidate the boy.
"Stop this!" Rory finally yelled. "Logan, go home. I'll call you later," she said, glaring at her grandparents, daring them to stop him from leaving. Rory stood up with him and walked him to the door, kissing him in full view of her grandparents.
"Rory, I should stay."
"No, I'll be fine. I'll be okay, don't worry." Logan looked down at her and saw the old fire in her eyes. The fire that had attracted him to her in the first place. That fire that said, I do what I want to get to where I want and no one will stop me. Logan kissed her again and walked out the door, happy that his Rory was back.
Rory walked back into the living room and met the glares of her grandparents with glares of her own.
"I can't believe your mother allowed this behavior. Well, young lady, let me tell you something, proper women of society do not act like this…" Emily began before being interrupted by Rory.
"I'm not acting like a floozy Grandma, nobody would say that. And Mom wouldn't have thought this to be bad behavior. She let me make my own decisions and my own choices because she knew it was my life."
The image of his perfect angel was shattered in Richard's mind forever, "Now Rory, we only want what's best for you…"
"By telling me what to do?"
"Well, you are obviously not mature enough to understand the consequences of your actions."
"Grandma welcome to the 21st Century. Mom raised me, I've seen first hand the consequences of her having me so young, and I'm not going to get pregnant."
"I just don't know why you are acting like this. It's like having your mother still living her."
"I'm glad I'm finally acting like her. She never gave up when she wanted something. I gave up, I quit, but I'm done quitting. You can be disappointed in me that's fine, but I am finished letting other people's disappointment and opinions about me run my life. This conversation is over. I am sorry you are so shocked about what happened, but it is what it is. I have to go talk to my mother now." With those final words, Rory ran out of the Gilmore house and jumped in her car, hoping to make amends for all the wrongs that she has done.
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Beta Comments: Sorry guys, once again my fault. I got busy with life, but you can expect updates to be a little quicker. Go Marquette! Next Year Bears, Next Year!
Author comments: again BIG CO AUTHOR credit to Localizy she has been such a big help despite her busy schedule.
Watch at your own risk, you will always be welcome here, the comfort zone.
NEXT WEEK Lorelai finally admits she's a lesbian. (Seinfeld: not that there's anything wrong with that.)
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"That was all God given talent..." why thank you NON POD Luke!
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R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."
Please be specific with R/R; name one (or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) At least one specific thing you liked
Please! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)
Hence the Rant option below.
Insert Rant here V
A/N: if not completely satisfied with this chapter, please return unused portion for a full refund...
