Zak Scaturday stood on the rooftop of Dennys and prepared to do battle with his most fearsome foe ever, the mighty Mr. James P. Mc Titties Argost. Or something. His ugly monkey monster brother and possibly furfag lover was next to him, eating a banana as all heathen monkeys tend to do though God created bananas specifically to fit comfortably inside the hands of humans, not retarded stinking apes.

"OOKA OOKA WOOKA!" grunted the deformed Darwinist straw man.

"Shut up you moron," said Zak as he balanced precariously on the railing and tempted fate just because he was feeling rather suicidal.

"Don't give up Zakary Taylor Thomas!" cheered young mutant fox boy, Tails the fox as he had not yet been removed from the poorly thought out plot. As if any at all exists! There is no logic here and never will be unless we get money for that surgery.

"MARY SUE!" screamed a breathtakingly exotic raven haired azure eyed sparkling vampire young girl who looked to be about the age of 13 or so or whatever Zak's age was before this train wreck of a series finally came to a crashing halt of poor writing and failed advertising. She landed in front of Zak and twirled around and placed her magical fairly wand onto Zak's empty head and shouted "ZAKKU MAGIKURRU SPARKURU KURIPTIDU HENSHIN DESU!"

And then she turned Zak into a silver sparkle wolf with rainbow colored wings and an Evanescence jacket and he flew around and didn't fall off the building. But he thought it was cool so he didn't care. And then she turned into a super desu kawaii wolf-cat-dragon-angel and flew around in the air too. And then the two of them began farting large fireballs out at Argost and his evil army of non-existent cryptids. Fuck you retarded cryptozoologists. You have a better chance of finding a president with half a brain than getting paid for your promotion of magical fucktard hoax creatures that don't exist.

Then somehow that guy with the long hair was there and he was fighting that other guy who was kind of cool when he was bad but they traversed into a nightmare of quality breakdown and everything started to suck as heavily as Chris-Chan on a nice fat Asperchu pickle. So the guy who was Russian or something and not cool anymore placed a gun to his head and blew his own brains out instead of getting killed by a stupid fucking ugly Snapesnogger creation. And the long haired guy just shrugged. And then he made out with his ex-girlfriend whose name I can't remember because she was only in three episodes or so. Then she shot him and a hymn of angels shitting their own crisp white robes played across the sky.

"Are we going to die here Sonic?" asked Tails in a throaty murmur as he stroked his friend's throbbing plastic manhood.

"I don't know," responded Sonic as he rubbed his hand ever more briskly across his young ward's fuzzy buttocks.

"It's time to die, everyone," said Zak who was no longer a wolf because that was so five minutes ago. He was now a giant two headed bird with a dragon tail because that's way more awesome. He raised up his hands and called down Bahamut Sin from the fourth wall of the crossoververse. And the mighty dragon king of the underworld shot black swirling pure hatred from its vile mouth which melted all of Canada and killed the guy who wrote this shit in the process. And then it killed part of France too just because everyone hates it.

"Zakky-kun you've saved the day!" yelled the autistic girl as she repeatedly slammed her helmeted head onto the cold concrete. It wasn't that cold for it had been warmed up by the blood of all the previously deceased. "Let's hug and then you can place your pee pee in my veejay." she said because like all 15 year old autistic tartlets, she had no idea and will never have any idea what anything sexually based looks like or works like, though they still attempt slash yaoi shonen ai pornography just to make us all ill. Summon Chris Hanson.

But Zak though that was gross and sinful as he'd rather be banging his cousin from the mirrorverse. So he opened the portal and the other Zak came out and they made out hard while the little pants grabbing underwear sniffing Arab girl who nobody liked and knew was even there in the first place watched.

"Wait we still have to save the world from that freak Argost," said the goofy godlike glory girl. We'll call her Anna-Chan just because somebody mentioned something retarded having to do with somebody or something of that name to me recently. "GO TO HELL, FURFAGS!" she chortled maliciously as the clouds parted and droplets of sugar gems and salty pecans fell from the sky like tears from a morbidly obese man named Larry Stumps.

"I already saved the world!" said Zak as he draped his tongue over the other Zak's and they fondled each others hairless dish sized prepubescent cream colored nipples lovingly.

Because the girl, Sonic, and Tails, and who the fuck ever else was there all turned to see the horrible abominable yeti beast who was really Argost locked in a tender bout of intercourse with his man-slave mutant spider fuckbuddy. The two were twisting and groping and thrusting and grinding fearsomely as two animals tend to do in the heat of making a slutty furfag enticing sandwich.

"OOH YES PLACE YOUR SPINNERETS INTO MY HAIRY MONKEY HOLE!" screamed the overgrown ape man as the ugly purple monster Frankenstein thing who was the husbando rammed his swollen barbed tipped and pulsating pole into the shit encrusted butt of his zoo stinking freak of a waifu. But the monster guy's love juices were filled with deadly poison and it killed him and he died in the middle of his powerful and beautiful orgasm. "EMBRACE ME WITH YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY!" said the horror of nature before God struck him down himself for the diabolical sin of furfaggotry. And then he exploded into hunks of white furred flesh and rotting innards and flecks of bone and marrow and lots of shit because he was a monkey. "BURN IN HELL, FURFAGS!" screamed Zak.

Then Zak came down and kicked the spiderbitch in his deformed face, cracking open the exoskeleton and releasing the rotten egg smelling green viscous fluids within. And everyone cheered. Except the furfags who wrote the sick stories in which those freaks were fucking. Or so I was told. No actually I saw some of it so I know it's not anybody pulling my leg. You are disgusting individuals if you are not trolling. And even if you are trolling you're still horrible people for encouraging disgusting furfaggottry. Just letting you know. And this is my opinion as well, not just having been influenced by the group here who really really hates you. There seems to be a lot of them by the way. Back to the TRANSITIVE VERBS.

"SONIIIIIIIC" screamed Tails as he jumped with all his might and fervor into the blazing hellfires below.

"Why was I here? Aren't I in the Ben 10 fic or something?" muttered Sonic and ran off to be of better use in a far more interesting fiction, though this shit has nearly the same amount of reviews as that one did thus the only reason I was continuing to bother with it.

"I'm the master!" yelled out Zak, who now had beaten enough cryptid tamers to be the official cryptimon master and collect all seven badges. But then his parents came back home and yelled at his Asperger raved ass to turn off the tv and stop wasting his life with children's card games and toys and go get out of the basement and get a real job. But he couldn't because he acted like such a fuck up he had an ED page a mile long and wasn't even as popular as Chrissy-Chan, or Ambrosia, or even Sephiroth's Slave. So he became an hero and lived forever in our hearts and minds. Oh wait, no he didn't. He'll be forever forgotten with all the other piles of useless human shit out there.

The End.