Chapter 4: Lance
If there was a Jeopardy answer about "Space Explorer and former Doom slave," most people would answer "Who is Sven?" in a heartbeat. They often forget that Keith, Hunk, Pidge and I were once slaves too. Zarkon's troops captured us when we first crashed on Arus and threw us in the dungeons to use as robeast training material.
While we were there, I saw some freaky things. If you ever wanted to see a place that's devoid of hope and happiness, look no further than the dungeons under Castle Doom. I still hear the anguish and despair in my dreams.
The sound Keith made when he found out what happened to Allura would have fit right in. He was devastated. There's no other way to describe it. He went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. All within a span of ten minutes.
Laramina didn't even have to say anything. When she came out of her room to join us in the common area, all it took was one look at her face for us to figure out something was majorly wrong. She was crying so hard, all she could manage to get out was "Aunt Allura" before starting to sob once again and running back into her room.
Keith slipped away in the commotion. When he's upset, he needs to be alone to process what happened. This… what happened to Allura… this will take a lot of processing.
On Arus, he'd slink off to his office. He doesn't have that option on the Den Ship though. Space is too much of a premium for a luxury like that. He wouldn't go to his stateroom. The walls are too thin and he'd want to yell and curse and punch a few walls.
Allura would send me in to talk to him when he gets like this. She never quite understood how we guys deal with things. We don't sit around talking about feelings like girls. We work things out by doing stuff like pounding on each other in sparring practice, repelling an invasion of Lotorian troops or coming up with strategies to capture Wade.
She would understand though that when dealing with Keith, timing is everything. Keith won't be ready until he is ready. And when that time comes, I'll be there for him. It's in my job description, both as his First Officer and as his friend.
I head to Black Lion to check on him only to find the cockpit empty. Stepping out of the mecha, I look around and see Blue flash her eyes at me, acknowledging my presence and purpose.
Of course, he'd be there. It is… was… Allura's Lion. It's where he'd feel closest to her. Hell, I have a feeling that Blue's cockpit is where they fell in love all those years ago, back when he was teaching her how to fly.
The Lions will look out for him as they do for for all of us, but I still stand watch until we're close enough to establish communication with Arus. I call Pidge to relieve me while I call Castle Control.
My conversation with the officer on duty is brief. I'm in no mood to exchange pleasantries and neither is he. We exchange information, make arrangements and coordinate schedules. We are soldiers, trained to push our own grief aside to see to our duty and serve those who we swore to protect.
I start making my plans as I walk back to my quarters to pick up a few things. Since there's no way Keith could lead in his current state of mind, I need to take command. I'll hand it back when he wants it and is ready for it, of course, but for now, he needs to grieve, to come to terms with what happened.
Shit. I need take my own advice too. I can't even say it. Even to myself.
First things first. We got back just in time. The funeral will be tomorrow. Allura is in Leona, in the Cathedral... When was the last time I was there? That fake funeral when Haggar cast that sleeping spell on her? I had a hard enough time holding my shit together then when I knew it was fake, I can't imagine how I'm going to handle it now.
Focus, McClain. Focus.
Of all of us, Vince is the one who is the least close to Allura so he gets to pilot the Den Ship. There's no way it can land there so we're going to have to take the Lions. Guard said there were thousands of people queueing up to pay their respects and sign the Book of Sympathy I need to have the guard clear an area for the Lions and secure it.
Dress uniforms. Nanny would expect us to wear them. It doesn't matter that we literally just got back from a deep space mission. Wearing the proper uniform shows the proper respect. Hmm.. Laramina. I'm sure Nanny packed a gown for her, but can she fly a lion while wearing one? Ah well. She's a smart kid. I'm sure she'll figure it out.
I make my way back to the launch bay where Pidge is waiting. He's playing a game on his datapad, something he does only when he wants to forget everything for a while. He looks up as I approach.
"Still in there. And it's been quiet." Pidge says. "Do you know the plans yet?"
I give Pidge a brief update on what I learned from Castle Control and let him know my thoughts and orders. I don't have to ask him to relay it to the others. We've worked together long enough. We know each other's quirks and idiosyncrasies.
I wait for him to walk off before I turn to Blue Lion and give her a quick pat. "I'm sorry, Blue. I forgot to tell you that. I know you loved her too."
Blue responds by flashing her eyes and making a mournful yowl before opening her jaw to let me in. She's worried about Keith too. She wouldn't have let me in if she wasn't.
"Thanks Blue," I say as I enter. "I'll take it from here."
Keith is sitting on the command chair with his back to me. He has his voltcom set on presentation mode - pictures of Allura through the years. I see the girl she had been when we first crashed on Arus mature into the woman she had become by the time we left on the Voltronix mission.
"Keith?"
Keith hesitated for a moment, then turned to look at me. "Yes?" Tears were welling up in his already red-rimmed eyes and his chin trembled from the effort of keeping his feelings locked inside. His cheeks were wet with the tears that he had already shed.
"She was yours, but she was also ours. We need to give her a proper farewell." I pull a bottle of 65 year old single malt whiskey from the the folds of my jacket and show it to him. It's a bottle we've had since the Academy. It was expensive for us then — hell, it still is even now! — but to salute a fallen comrade, only the best would do.
I hand the bottle to him while I pull out two scotch glasses from the pocket of my jacket. Keith pours a few fingers of whiskey for each of us. I think back to the last few times we did this, for Black when Wade took him and for Sven after Crydor.
"To Allura," I say as I raise my glass.
"To Allura," he repeats with glassy eyes as he sips his whiskey and turns back to watch his life flash before him.
There was nothing further to be said. We let silence fill the Lion while while we sip our whiskey and remember the woman who had meant so much to both of us.
