Saturday April 21, 2018: Four days after Lisa's death

This was the very first Saturday the Louds had to spend without Lisa and it really shows. All was quiet; with some of the Louds gone for the day and others remaining silent because none had a single word to say. The house was so full of melancholy that it felt a lot like a funeral home; which was expected since they just had a funeral 24 hours prior.

On a normal Saturday, Lynn would be running wild and about, either with her siblings in the backyard. Today, however, sports were shockingly the last thing on her mind. She stepped out of her room and quietly crept down the hall towards the bedroom that now only Lily occupies. Lynn gently turned the doorknob and peeked her head inside.

It was usually common courtesy for whoever is going in there to do so carefully so they do not disturb Lily's naps nor Lisa's experiments. However, much to Lynn's relief, Lily was not in there. This is because Rita had taken her out today to distract each other from the tragedy that plagued the family.

Lynn walked carefully into the room towards the desk that had various test tubes, beakers, and flasks on it. While she stared aimlessly at the equipment in front of her, she began to have an unusual sensation in the pit of her stomach. She felt like she needed to vomit, but at the same time, nothing came up. Despite the beakers being completely empty, Lynn could also hear liquid bubbling so loudly that it echoed inside her eardrums. Between the sound of nonexistent liquid bubbling and her stomach feeling very queasy, Lynn gripped the sides of the desk tightly with her sweaty hands; her knuckles becoming white from the tight grip. She could no longer stand straight and her shoulders slumped forward.

The only sounds that Lynn could make right now were hyperventilation and gulping. She wanted to stop herself from puking all over the place because the last thing she needed was to have her deceased sister's belongings to be covered in vomit. As her vision started to become warped and blurred in her panicked state, Lynn failed to notice any of her surroundings, therefore she didn't know that someone had entered the room and was approaching her.

Lynn's panic attack was only heightened when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," A raspy voice said.

"Ahhh!" Lynn howled as her grip on the desk tightened harder to the point that her palms and fingers were hurting.

"Woah dude, it's just me," the voice was revealed to be Luna. When Lynn turned around to see her older sister standing there, she took another hard swallow, with her throat being incredibly dry.

Luna took notice of Lynn's pale, sweat drenched face and immediately noticed that something was greatly amiss.

"Lynn, what's wrong?" Luna wonders in concern.

Lynn pants for a while before answering, "I…I just had a panic attack."

"What? Why?" Luna asks with curiosity in her eyes.

The reason behind Lynn's panic attack was so awful that her feelings of fear and uncertainty started anew. She started sweating again and she put a hand on her chest to feel her heartbeat.

"I did something wrong. Very, very wrong. And…and I need to tell somebody," Lynn groaned.

"Sure, I'm all ears LJ," Luna encourages. The two of them sit down on Lisa's bed.

"Ok. (Deep breath) Do you remember a few weeks before Lisa went to the institute, she melted one of my soccer trophies?"


Flashback to one and a half weeks ago

The smell of smoke emitting from Lisa and Lily's bedroom immediately caught the attention of everyone in the Loud house; as such all who was present rushed into the room.

When Rita and Lynn Sr opened the door, with a fire extinguisher clutched tightly in the latter's hand, they were met with a rather unusual sight. Lily's crib, with her inside, was encased in what appeared to be a plastic chamber with various airholes around it so she can still breathe while staying safe from what Lisa was doing.

Speaking of Lisa, she was currently sitting on a stool in front of her desk while wearing a safety mask over her face and holding a large metal trophy in one hand and a blowtorch in the other hand. Lisa was using the blowtorch on the trophy to melt it into a red-hot gooey mess that was poured into a steel bucket underneath the stool.

Normally this was the point where Rita and Lynn Sr would berate their daughter; especially since she was handling such a dangerous device doing God knows what. However, they were frozen; not just because they were dumbfounded by what she was doing, but because they knew the owner of that trophy was not a gonna be happy about Lisa destroying it.

"Outta my way, move it," A voice urged as Rita and Lynn Sr felt someone try to squeeze through. The voice of course belonged to Lynn Jr who inched her way into the room.

As she watched the last remaining portion of her beloved trophy, which was the name plaque, melt into goo, Lynn's eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Yahhhhh!" Lynn screamed.

Lynn's howl of despair caught the attention of Lisa; making her turn off her blowtorch and lift up her mask. She turns to face her family.

"Greetings fifth eldest sister and parental units," Lisa greeted. As was often the case when Lisa does undesirable things, she was unfazed by her parents' and siblings' reactions.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Rita questions in a worried tone.

"I'm glad you asked," Lisa states, "I am testing the viscosity of various materials to measure whether or not they can be used as a substitute adhesive."

Lynn wasn't listening to a single word her little sister was saying because she was fuming over a precious item of hers being destroyed.

"That was MINE you little brat!" Lynn growled.

Lisa's face became rightfully nervous at seeing her sister's face redden.

"About that…I needed aurum number 79; street name: gold, as part of my experiment."

"That can't be replaced Lisa! I can't just go to my coach and ask for another one! You had NO business touching my stuff ESPECIALLY without my permission! I…I hate you!" With that, Lynn stormed away and her footsteps practically shook the foundation of the Loud house.

As the remaining siblings disperse, Rita walks up to Lisa and removes the blowtorch from her daughter's hand.

"That's it, you're NEVER using this again and you're grounded for 5 days," Rita berated.

Shortly after Rita and Lynn Sr left Lisa and Lily alone, Lynn came back into the room. She pointed her fist at Lisa.

"By the way, science is gonna kill you someday!" She hissed as she slammed the door shut.

End flashback


"You told her WHAT!" Luna cried in disbelief.

Lynn currently had her knees pulled close to her chest, was biting her bottom lip, and was visibly shaking.

"S-science is gonna kill her someday," Lynn repeated her harsh statement with a noticeable shiver in her voice.

"Lynn! You can't say things like that! What's the matter with you?!" Luna scolded.

Tears fill Lynn's eyes, "I was just mad at her. I didn't really mean it."

"Whether you were mad at her or not, wishing death upon your own sister is wrong!" Luna yelled.

Tears were now running down her cheeks, but she needed to clarify what her statement meant.

"Now hang on a minute," Lynn said, "I did not wish death upon her! I just said that science is going to kill her. If I wished death on her, I would've said…" Lynn paused as she squeezed her eyes shut and allowed the tears to freely flow down her cheeks.

"I didn't want her to die," Lynn whispers, "Now I'm sorry those were my last words to her."

With that, Lynn's words were replaced with sobs and she hid her face in her knees. As Luna looks at her crying sister, her previous anger was turned to sympathy. Then she began to realize that her own relationship with Lisa wasn't that great either.

"You know Lynn…sometimes I wish Lis and I had a better relationship," Luna sighs.

Lynn's glossy eyes look up at her sister as she starts sniffling.

"(Sniff) What're you talking about? I think you two get along fine," Lynn says, "Remember that one time you had doubts about what you wanted to do with your life and she suggested you take a more (air quotes) practical approach?"

Luna nodded, "Yes, but the practical approach didn't work for me and I realized that music was my true passion."

"But had she not suggested that, you probably would've just moped around all day. She saw that you were distressed and she offered advice," Lynn continued.

Luna tapped her chin with her finger and grinned at that memory, "Now that I think of it, you have a point. She didn't have to help me; she even said that she doesn't normally acknowledge human emotions, but she still insisted on listening to my problems."

Lynn grinned, "There, see? You got along fine."

However, Luna's smile turned into a frown and her lips started quivering. Before Lynn can ask her what's wrong, Luna stares off into the distance as she talks to Lynn.

"That was just a one-time thing though," Luna lamented, a slight whimper creeping into her voice.

"There have been quite a few times where we actually didn't get along. Like remember that time Lincoln suggested we switch roommates and I got paired with Lis? Well when a sweet riff of mine accidentally caused an explosion, I told her…" Luna's recollection was interrupted when tears gradually flowed down her eyes and a small hiccup escaped from her mouth.

"I told her to watch her attitude cause no one tells me how to shred," Luna took her hand and closed her mouth as she started crying for real. Lynn gave her sister a sympathetic look.

"Also, this is mostly my fault, but I ruined her first opera by stage diving into the orchestra pit. I didn't think it was a big deal at the time, but man she must've been so mad at me," Luna sighed.

"I remember her telling Lincoln that story so he wouldn't tell you about his first concert," Lynn reminisces.

Luna's eyes once again fill with tears and her eyes squeeze shut as miniature streams flow softly down her cheeks, "A couple April Fool's back, she wouldn't let me hide in her secret bunker."

As she remembered Lisa telling her that she should have been more prepared, the memory of her little sister rejecting her like that made the young rocker burst into tears and cry harder than she ever has since the funeral. While remaining on the bed, Luna sat on her knees and threw her head back towards the ceiling.

"PLEASE! GIVE ME SHELTER!" Luna screamed in despair the same line she used to beg Lisa for mercy that fateful day.

After that, Luna slammed her head down on the pillow and sobbed away, desperately missing Lisa. Lynn, with all the sympathy in the world, gently rubbed Luna's back. As she was comforting her sister, Lynn stared at Lisa's various science equipment with tears in her eyes.

"Why couldn't she get to know you better?" Lynn whispered.


Right then and there, Lori peeked her head inside the room. She knew exactly why Luna and Lynn were crying, but her big sister instinct kicked in and it told her she needed to investigate further. She snuck towards the bed and looked at her grief-stricken sisters.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Lori asks in a soft tone.

Lynn looked up at Lori with glossy eyes and Luna's head shot up from the pillow with her eyes bloodshot.

"We were just (sniff) remembering Lisa," Luna sniffled.

"Sadly, we were mostly remembering the bad stuff," Lynn sighed.

"What bad stuff?" Lori questions.

Luna hid her face in the pillow, indicating that Lynn should go first. As much as she hated to repeat the memory of her predicting Lisa's death, she had to explain it since Lori wanted to know.

"Like I remember telling her…that…s-science was gonna…kill her someday," Lynn's tears started anew.

Normally hearing a statement like that would cause Lori to be angry and yell at Lynn. However, after seeing Lynn's glossy eyes, she knew that yelling wasn't the best option and that dealing with such a painful memory was most likely punishment enough. Therefore, Lori let it slide.

Her focus shifted to Luna desperately clinging onto the pillow, "Luna? You Ok?"

Luna could not speak very loudly, so instead all of her dialogue was replaced with whispers and sniffles in between her whispers.

"I just wish…(sniff) that Lis and I had a better relationship. And…(sniff) and now that she's gone, I'll never be able to…(sniff, sob) make amends with her," Luna cried.

Luna and Lynn's memories made a strong case that all they needed to do was make amends for any mistakes and wrongs they have done. This gives Lori an idea about how they will be able to do that.

"Have you guys ever heard of bargaining?" Lori asks.

The two crying brunettes look at each other and then back at Lori while shaking their heads no.

Lori sits down on the bed and looks both her crying sisters in the eye, "Bargaining is one of the five stages of grief. It's when you try to make the pain go away by basically making a promise to God. Even though Lisa can't come back from the dead, your bargain with God can help her loss not be so hurtful. Your promise doesn't have to be overly complex either. As long as you feel in your heart that you can do it, that's all that matters."

Bargaining definitely seems like a good idea, so Luna and Lynn agree to pray together. But they need privacy in order to do so since this is their bargain to God and no one else's.

"Lori, can we be alone please?" Luna begs.

Without a word, Lori nods her head and leaves the room, closing the door behind her. Once she was gone, Luna and Lynn both make their way towards Lisa's window and get on their knees. Like with any prayer, the first thing they do is simultaneously make the sign of the cross.

"Our Father who art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy name

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

On Earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

Amen"

Since Luna is the oldest, she goes first. She puts her hands together and faces the sky, keeping her focus up in heaven.

"God, hear my prayer. In exchange for my little sis' life, I would like to make a deal with you. I promise to spend as much time with my little sisters as possible. Lucy, Lana, Lola, and of course little Lilster mean so much to me right now. And after what happened, they could be gone at a moment's notice. God, I can't make the same mistake with Lisa and leave my younger sisters hating me…" Tears started anew inside Luna's eyes, "Lord, give me strength to have a closer connection to the kiddos. Amen."

After doing the sign of the cross one last time, Luna gets up and walks away from the window, allowing Lynn to make her bargain next.

Just like her sister, Lynn looked up towards heaven, "God, if you really are God, hear my prayer. My bargain may not be as strong as Luna's, but I do have a special promise I'd like to keep. After what happened, I realized that death is a subject matter that's not to joke about; especially since something terrible can happen when I least expect it. So, I promise not to use the words 'kill', 'death', 'dying', and 'die', in a figurative sense. If I accidentally slip up, I hope you know that I don't mean the things I say. Amen."

Lynn did the sign of the cross one final time and joined her sister on the bed.

"Dude, what's your bargain mean?" Luna wonders.

"You know how sometimes we say things like 'this is killing me', or 'I'm dying', or even 'I wanna die'? Well since that got me in huge trouble before, I don't wanna say that anymore. If the rest of you don't follow that, then I won't hold it against you. This is my bargain specifically," Lynn explains.

"Wow Sis, I'm proud of you," Luna says.

"I have something to say regarding your bargain though," Lynn critiques, "While I do understand your desire to be closer to our younger sisters…shouldn't you have a closer connection to all of us?"

Luna's eyes widen as she realizes that she has overlooked 5 of her siblings and that she should promise the man upstairs that she loves all her siblings besides her younger ones.

Luna rushes towards the window and gets on her knees to change her bargain, "God, in regards to my promise, I wanna change it. I promise a closer connection to all ten…er, nine of my siblings. With all due respect, I don't want you to take away Linc or any of my other sisters; so, if I promise a closer connection to everyone, please spare their lives. Amen."

After Luna does the sign of the cross again, indicating that her bargain is a done deal, she sits on the bed. Feeling grateful for Luna's updated promise, Lynn wrapped her arms around Luna's stomach and smiled as tears gently flowed down her cheeks. Luna naturally returns the hug.


Suddenly Rita opened the bedroom door and stepped inside. Lily's lavender diaper bag was draped over her shoulder and a drowsy Lily was securely in her arms. It was clear that she desperately needed a nap because she seemed to barely be able to stay awake. The two freckled brunettes look up at their mother. Luna in particular seemed to be happy to see little Lily.

"Girls? I hate to make you leave, but Lily really needs her nap," Rita says.

Luna gives a small smile, "Oh no prob, Ma. I can just chill in here and watch Lilster while she rests her little head."

Rita raises an eyebrow, "Surely you don't want to stay quiet for an extended period of time. Why would you want to watch her nap?"

Luna's smile instantly fades and she gives her mother pleading eyes, "I bargained with God today; after Lisa's death, I promised a closer connection to all my siblings."

Rita finally understands, and gives her third oldest daughter a look of sympathy, "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I think Lily's naptime is the one exception you can have for not bothering her. After all, she needs a lot of sleep for her growing body, and this is the one time where she should be left alone."

Luna nods, "I understand Ma. I can always keep my promise any other time."

Rita gently places the baby in her crib and drapes her lavender blanket over her small body. Everyone in the room listened to the cute little snores that Lily made and smiled.

Once Rita dropped the diaper bag, she was about to leave the room. However, she was stopped when the bottom of her feet started hurting. She lifted one of her feet ever so slightly and gently rubbed her heel.

"Ugh, we've been out and about all day. My feet are killing me," Rita groans.

Remember her own bargain, Lynn placed her hand on Rita's arm, "Mom, you shouldn't say that," She panics.

Rita once again raises her eyebrow, "What's the matter? What shouldn't I say?" She questions.

"The word 'killing'," Lynn answers.

Rita is still confused, "What's wrong with the word 'killing'? It's not a curse word."

To Rita it wasn't a curse word, but to Lynn it was a different kind of curse word; one that gave her an ugly cursed feeling whenever she heard it. Now was the time for Lynn to tell her mother the truth, confess the ultimate wrong she has done.

"Mom…when Lisa was still alive…um, do you remember that one day she melted one of my soccer trophies?" Lynn stuttered.

Knowing that her daughter needed her now, Rita joined Lynn and Luna on the bed. Or rather, Luna got off the bed so that Rita can sit down; since Lisa's bed was only large enough to fit two people at the most.

"Yes, I remember that day. You were pretty angry," Rita wrapped her arm around her athletic daughter.

"Yes. I was so angry that…I said something that I shouldn't have," Lynn squeaked.

One look into her mother's eyes made Lynn feel sick and saddened by having to repeat her terrible statement she gave her little sister before she died.

"I told her that…science was going to kill her," Tears once again leaked out of Lynn's eyes.

Before Rita could react, Lynn tightly wrapped her arms around Rita's waist and started bawling. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to tell her she was gonna be killed. (sob) I didn't mean it! Please don't be mad, (sniff) I'm guilty enough as is. Mommy! (sob, sniff)."

Lynn almost never says the word "mommy", so this must be serious. Of course, being the kind, understanding mother she is, Rita gently rubbed her crying daughter's back.

"Shh, it's Ok baby, I'm not mad," Rita comforted softly.

Since Lynn was too busy crying, it was Luna's duty to explain to her mother about Lynn's bargain.

"Because of what happened, she made a promise to God that she would never use 'kill' and 'death' or any other variations in a figurative sense. She doesn't want to accidentally predict someone else's death," Luna explains.

"(sniff) Why did she have to die?" Lynn whispered.

In any other circumstance, this would be the point where Rita would reassure Lynn that Lisa's death was an unfortunate coincidence and she had nothing to do with it. But Lynn didn't need to hear that now; instead she needed help and support to fulfill her bargain. Rita gently rubbed her crying daughter's shoulders.

"Don't worry honey, I'll help you through this," Rita whispers gently. She uses her hand to lift up Lynn's head, "Do you want me to tell everyone else about this?"

Lynn looked up at her mother with glossy eyes and nodded her head. She felt much better now that she let it all out and hear mommy was there to love her.

"Now is the time for us to leave," Rita whispers as she points to the crib that has a sleeping baby in it.

Everyone tiptoed out the door and gently closed it. Once they were out of the room, they all parted ways, ready to keep their promises to the good Lord.