Chapter 3
Tobias seemed annoyed earlier when he came back to the table with Christina, I wonder where she took him. Thank you I mouthed to her when she sat back down. She whispers that I owe her a shopping trip before she resumed her conversation with Uriah about which leader is the cutest, much to Will's annoyance and Marlene's amusement at her boyfriend's antics. I am the only one who notices how Christina carefully tip toed around Eric's name probably for me and Tobias' sake.
I wondered if Eric was going to ever approach me again, but I figured it was probably hard enough for him to come up and admit to me that he wanted to try to converse, so I cut him some slack and decided to just go talk to him.
It is later in the day now, and Tobias went to work. The majority of the compound is once again in the Dining Hall for lunch, but Tobias is working through his lunch break. I use this as an opportunity to take a trip to Eric's side of the compound once again. I knock on the door with more confidence than I have had when knocking on his door. There is a long wait before I hear a shuffling behind the door and what sounds like multiple different locks unlocking when the door swings open. He is standing there in a black t-shirt with loose dark grey sweatpants and bare feet. His hair is sticking every which way and his eyes are squinted tiredly. I raise an eyebrow.
"Were you sleeping?" I ask. He nods.
"Mid-day?" I ask. He clears his throat.
"Yes, well, I can't sleep very much at night so I try to abide by my bodies wishes and sleep whenever I am tired," he says. I want to ask him why he can't sleep, but I don't think he would be willing to tell me, yet.
We stand there awkwardly, our eyes shifting from each other to the floor, to the wall, and back until an idea pops in his head and he gestures for me to enter, stepping aside.
I walk through the door and look around to find a spotlessly clean apartment. Not a single thing is out of place. The only thing that would show signs that someone actually lived here is the heat that is coming from the vent and the blanket spread across the couch. The kitchen from what I can see does not have a single pot or pan anywhere. All surfaces are bare and shiny. His walls are stark white with an black accenting wall. What shocks me the most is that there is not a single decoration besides the painting that comes with the apartments when we buy them. There is not a single family photo or baby picture; I suddenly feel remorseful. Even in Abnegation my parents kept a few photos and picture albums here and there.
"You are really clean, it's almost scary," I say instead of commenting on the lack of decor. I mean I like a clean house, but I start to question if he actually lives here.
"I lived on the streets for a year, which were dirty enough for me" he admits in way of explanation, but doesn't say much about it after that.
"Oh," is all I can say. That's when I realize that is my first real piece of information about him that I know. Before that, all I really knew about Eric was his name and that he is my brother who grew up in Erudite and transferred to Dauntless.
He moves the black blanket thrown across the couch where I can see he slept. He folds it neatly-like everything else- before gesturing for me to sit down on the couch. I take a seat trying to get comfortable but end up sitting board straight at the edge, ready to flee at any moment. What is wrong with you? This is the conversation you have been waiting for.
"So you wanted to talk to me, so...talk," he says.
"Okay, well," I begin not really sure where to start, so I just look at my hands instead, which now seem like the most interesting thing in the world.
"Oh wait," he cuts me off. I look up at him. "Would you like something to drink? Sorry, it's been awhile since I have had to do this hospitality thing".
"It's okay, water would be great," I say. Maybe that will help me clear my head. Why am I so nervous? This is all I have wanted for the past two weeks and now that I am finally here, sitting in his home, I do not know what to say. He nods and walks out the room. I take a deep breath and let out an exhale. Faster than I would have liked, he is walking back into the room with a glass of ice water. I take a dainty sip and he watches me like a hawk. He stays standing on the other side of the room, leaning against a wall. If I didn't know any better I would say that he was trying to get as far away from me as possible while still being in the same room.
'Okay," I start again. " When did you find out we were…" I trail off. Suddenly the word "siblings" seems like the hardest in the English language.
"A week before my choosing ceremony," he answers. I am shocked. A surge of anger runs through my veins.
"You have know for five years that we were related!" I say glaring. His face stays emotionless.
"Not exactly, I found out the same time you did. I knew I had parents in Abnegation who gave me up for whatever reason but I don't know who they are, well personally. I don't know their names just that they are your parents," he says. I flinch.
"Ours" I say quietly. I don't know if he heard me, until he corrects me.
"No. Yours." he repeats coldly.
"Anyway, do you know anything else about them?" I ask.
"Well, they are definitely my parents" he chuckled humorlessly. At my confused look he goes into further explanation. "I had one of my friends at Erudite do a DNA test and track down your parents. It was all very hush hush so they will deny everything, but once I compared the results it turns out it wasn't some sick joke."
"Wait if you had someone track them down,which I don't condone, how come you don't know their names?" I ask.
"When I got those results back I was only concerned about one thing, was I the child or not? Everything else like names, height, and occupations where just details. I didn't care what they looked like or who they were because I am pretty sure they didn't care about me either," he says. I want to tell him that's not true, that our parents are still damaged 21 years later for having to give him up. I know my efforts would be futile, so instead I keep questioning.
"And now that you know you're the child?"
"I haven't been able to open the file with the information, I don't think I ever will," he says.
"May I see it?" I ask. How can he not want to know who his parents are? I have to show him how amazing they can be.
He nods and leaves the room once again. He comes back with a clear tablet. He hands it back to me and moves back to his position across the room, when I tap the center with the pad of my index finger, my parents information projects from the screen. Eric mumbles an excuse, something about being, thirsty before rushing out of the room, but I don't really hear what he says. I see my parents information circle around my head in soft blue lights, the words and pictures move at a steady rate where I would be able to read comfortably and swipe when needed. I start with my mom.
Name: Prior, Natalie (formerly Wright)
Gender: Female
Faction Born: Dauntless
Faction Chosen: Abnegation
Date of birth: May 12, 2381
Age:37
Height:5"7
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Gray
Blood type: AB Negative
Spouse: Prior, Andrew
Children:Prior, Caleb; Prior, Beatrice
Name: Prior, Andrew
Gender: Male
Faction Born: Erudite
Faction Chosen:Abnegation
Date of Birth: January 5, 2381
Age:37
Height:6"2
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Blue
Blood Type: O positive
Spouse: Prior, Natalie
Children: Prior, Caleb; Prior, Beatrice
Eric sets down another tablet on the coffee table for when I was ready to look at it. I put down the one containing my parents information and pick up the new one. When the screen lights up, all of Eric's information surrounds my head. His name is Eris Culture, he is 21 years old, his birthday is August 17 which I store in my memory for days to come. He is 6'2 and has dad's blood type. Everything I already know he is formerly Erudite and is now Dauntless. I find out that his parents names are Karen and James Williams. I slide to the next page where is see surveys and DNA test results. It goes so fast, information running past my eyes and a giant lock sign quickly flashes before all information on the second page is no longer swirling around my head and I am locked out of Eric's file.
"It will only show information if I put my touch ID in again," he says walking back into the room after I hand the tablets to him.
"Well, you have done a lot of sharing today; it must be exhausting. Is there anything you want to ask me?" I say. He thinks for a moment.
"Who do you get your blond hair from because I don't have blond hair and I don't believe your brother does either?" he finally settles on. I laugh.
"Actually neither of my parents have blond hair, I get it from my grandmother, Jamie, on my dad's side. It's a recessive gene." I say. He nods." I am kind of the weirdo outcast of the family," I say shrugging. I see a ghost of a smile on his lips.
"Well, I better get going," I say grabbing my glass and heading towards the kitchen sink but he takes it from my hand. "Thank you," I say, he nods again. "No, for everything, I get that this must be really hard for you, but I would love to help you through it".
He holds my gaze briefly before walking to the door and opening it for me, "Goodbye Tris,".
"Goodbye Eric," I say.
On my way back home I think about what just happened, well it could have been worse.
Well, that wasn't gut wrenchingly awful, I sigh. I opened up to her, she actually looked happy when she left, and I did that. For once I am the cause for someone's happiness, my sister's at that. I made my little sister happy. At the very least I made her laugh. I purse my lips to prevent the small smile that tries to rise.
My home phone attach to the wall-it comes with all leader apartments- lights up with a call from D-3. Jax. Jax Foster has the third highest ranked position. He is a great guy in his early 20s, he is only two years older than me; Jax is steadily moving his way up the leadership chain, he is one of the few people in this compound who I don't completely find a nuisance. I make my way to the phone and swipe the green accept icon before pressing the speaker option.
"Foster," I say.
"Hey Eric, this is going to sound strange, but I was working security, and I thought I saw Four's girl leaving your place, it's none of my business man, but just a word of warning if you are doing anything you shouldn't be, I would advise you to quit it," he says cautiously. "Just cut all ties, y' know?".
Foster is the closest thing to a friend a have in this place-well, anywhere really. The only thing I hate about him is that he is also friends with Tris' dimwit boyfriend. He watches out for all his friends, only butting in other people's business if he feels like it's necessary.
"I appreciate the concern Foster, but it's not what you think," I begin. I try to keep the disgust at the suggestion out of my voice. "And what are you doing spying on me anyway?"
The leader's have there own security system that is separate from the rest of the compound. We have a separate control room and cameras only certain people are allowed to see. The hallways of our apartment complex are littered with cameras everywhere you turn, it has never been a problem before so I didn't think anything of it.
"If you say so man," he says. He pauses, sounding like he wants to say more. "It's just...Four is my friend, and I don't want to see either of you in...a bad position" he finished carefully.
I think about telling him my situation, he is trustworthy. I don't know if Tris has told anyone yet. I decide it might be a good way to get an outside opinion. "Look, just come by when you can, and I will explain everything,".
Foster agrees and tells me he is free tomorrow. For the rest of the day I have leadership duties I attend to, trying to keep my mind off my sibling. I shared a lot today, there is lingering fear that she will go tell everyone my information and use it against me. I quickly crush those thoughts; Tris doesn't seem like the type to do that, especially because she bugged me for weeks and was so genuine about reaching out. She seems to care, and that is what scares me the most.
Whatever, forget about it I tell myself.
Jax comes by the next day. I open the door to find him with his hands in his pockets, his eyes shift from the ground to the cameras.
"I don't bite...hard" I say smirking, when I see his reluctance to come in.
Once he steps and my apartment and I shut the door he turns around instantly.
"Okay, what is going on?" he asks. "You're not going to kill me for potentially discovering a secret of yours, are you?" .
"No, just sit down, there is something I have to tell you," I say. "Actually it would be great if I could just get this off of my chest, I kind of need someone to talk to and get another opinion. He nods and gestures for me to continue.
"I'm all ears"
"You weren't wrong when you suspected there is something going on with Tris," he stiffens. "It's not what you think, a few weeks ago we found out that we are related, she's...she's my sister".
To say that Foster was shocked was an understatement." Are you sure, have you done a DNA test?"
"Positive, her parents are definitely mine; I triple checked and went over it again, y'know? just in case" I respond.
"Wow...that's...heavy" he seems at a loss for words."How does her boyfriend feel about this?".
"Actually I don't know if she has told anyone; We still hate each other, so I doubt he knows if I haven't heard from him," It's true nothing has changed between me and Four, we still can't stand each other and would probably agree the world would be a better place without the other in it.
"How are you doing?" he ask me."What are you doing?".
"I am...okay, I think. Tris has been coming and knocking on my door for the past two weeks and today was the first day I let her in and opened up," I tell him thinking back to my conversation.
"Well, that's great, you have some family here that you can get close to," he says giving me a genuine smile.
"Am I doing the right thing?" I ask finally voicing the question that has been banging around my head all day.
"Absolutely, at least I think you are, if I had a sister I just found out about, I would do everything in my power to know her," he says. I nod.
"I am so hungry," I say. I am once again sat on Eric's couch, it has been a week since our last encounter. I try to visit him every other day, just to get to know him better. I now know some of his likes and dislikes, his favorite book, and color which is shockingly not black, but green. I still seems closed off and I don't know if he can tell, but he makes this face every time he shares a bit of information. It is a face of worry and pain, every time I just give him a reassuring smile and wait for him to continue.
"I could make something here," Eric says. Over the course of a week he has steadily made his way over to the couch, even though we do still sit at opposite ends, as far away as possible.
" Are you a good cook?" I ask.
"It's edible," he responds, he gestured for me to follow him to the kitchen. He takes out a pan from under the counter where he keeps everything because "if anything is laying around, the entire kitchen looks cluttered".
I sit at the island and watched him move around gracefully. "Wait, you don't even know what I want to eat," I say teasingly. He raises his eyebrow and smirks.
"What would you like to eat, Tris?"
"Surprise me," I tell him. I giggle when he rolls his eyes.
He works quickly and efficiently in silence. "So what was it like living in Abnegation?" he asked.
I tell him about the life that could've been his, "Well, it was pretty bland, we couldn't play games or run around or eat sweets. All we did was help the factionless and get reprimanded for selfishness," I say using air quotes around selfishness. "But it wasn't that bad, mom and dad hid juice in the back of the fridge to make our dinners less bland, so it wasn't all that bad. I just never felt like I belonged y'know?".
"Actually I don't I got tossed, remember?" he says laughing humorlessly.
"Eric…" I begin.
"Did you know two sets of parents rejected me," he starts. I take that as my cue to let him vent."Your parents gave me to a family in Erudite because they didn't want me; And right before I turned 15 Karen and James kicked me out onto the streets because they had found someone better, her name is Clover but everyone called her Cleo. Karen and James brought her home from the hospital when I was 8, she was small and adorable with bright eyes, and everyone loved her. After her 7th birthday they told me they had a beautiful family and a wonderful life, but they no longer saw me as a part of it. I mean I guess I understood, they finally had a child of their own, but I was crushed. They told me to pack my stuff and be gone by morning. I was ready to leave and walking out the door the next morning when Cleo woke up, she ran downstairs and saw me leaving and cried…"
"Where are you going?" she sobbed from the doorway in the living room. She was holding the teddy bear that I had got her as a birthday present. She wore a small blue nightgown and her dirty blond hair that I had braided at her request last night was now loose and framed her small face. Her usual bright blue eyes were sad and red from tears.
"I'm just taking a trip," I lied. I didn't have the heart to tell her, her parents put me out.
"I don't want you to leave," she cried. She ran over to me and wrapped her arms around both of my legs. I tried not to lose my balance with my dufflebags on each shoulder and a little girl at my feet. I carefully maneuver the bags so they don't hit her as I sat them down; I gently removed her arms from around my legs and sunk down to her level.
"I will see you again, okay, soon. I want you to grow up and be happy, as happy as you can be," I said petting her hair as her arms wrapped around my shoulders and she buried her head into my neck.
"Okay you have to pinky promise me," I continued. When her crying persisted I rubbed her back to calm her down, when her tears subsided to small hiccups I tried again, "promise?" I asked giving her my pinky. She nodded and wrapped her tiny pinky around my bigger one.
"Cleo," Karen said from the doorway. Her lips pursuit in disapproval when she saw me still there.
"I-I-I was just-uh-leaving," I said tightly hugging Cleo before gently nudging her towards Karen.
"Thank You Eric, we just think it would be better for everyone," Karen says. I nodded before once again grabbing my things and walking out the door, not once looking back, even for the 4 year old's cries.
"...You know what the worst part is? I never even got an explanation" he chuckles, his eyes hard. "Guess there was just something wrong with me and I was the only one to blind to see it," he finishes, looking back to the dish he was making, which I concluded to be some sort of pasta.
His words make my heart clenches painfully. I try to assure him that it's not true, but once again my words fall on deaf ears. There was a brief awkward silence where he refused to look up from the stove.
"You know, I am pretty good at cooking too," I say.
"Are you?"
"Yeah, can I help?"
"Do you want to make the sauce and I will make the meatballs, while the noodles cook?" he proposes. I nod and move from my seat at the island. We cook together in silence.
"Not bad, he says when we sit down at the table with half way finished plates. He sits at one head of the table while I sit at the other. I smile at his praise and fill with pride.
"Thanks, 'not bad' yourself," I say. We talk here and there while I contemplate telling him.
"My friends and I are going paintballing tomorrow night, you should come," I say. He sets his fork down at watches me, his face emotionless. Did I say the wrong thing?
"Thanks, but I really doubt they would want me there," he says finally. Though it may be true my friends are going to have to deal with it.
"I want you there," I say sternly. "My friends will get over it...please, it would mean a lot," to me I add in my head, I don't know if you are close enough to admit that yet, but I assume he finished the sentence on his own by the way he tenses. I try to give my best puppy dog eyes, until finally he hesitantly nods.
"Really?!" I say. He nods again with more certainty. "That's great," Tobias is going to freakout. I think. Oh well he will play along because he loves me. I smile.
I leave Eric's and stroll back to the apartment. I walk past the chasm and see the familiar profile of my boyfriend.
I try to sneak up on him but his practically superhuman hearing ruins it. He turns around at the last minute and wraps an arm around me, pulling me to him before I can react.
"Hey you," I say leaning in closely, our noses touching."I haven't seen you all day, what are you doing?".
"Enjoying the view," he says; When I slap his arm he continues," the chasm is beautiful at night" I raise an eyebrow."So is my girlfriend, but she is beautiful all the time".
"Not very smooth, but I will take it," I laugh.
"What have you been doing all day?"
"Oh you know, I've been here and there, this whole work hiatus thing, is shockingly boring," I continue, easily lying, than despising myself for it. Well technically my story is true, I have been here and there and I am on a hiatus from work. I worked on the fence and at the tattoo parlor, but Max himself requested I take some time off to think about the offer he has proposed. I haven't told anyone about it yet, not even Tobias.
"Very specific," he says sarcastically. I laugh and pull him away from the chasm, non-verbally telling him I want to start walking, he follows behind me.
When Tobias is showering and I am brushing my teeth in the bathroom, I decide to tell him what I have just done.
"Hey honey, guess what?" I say sweetly. The silhouette behind the shower curtain freezes.
"You only call me honey when you break news to me, what is it?" he asked slowly continuing to what I assume is lathering and rinsing.
"Well, I sort of...um..well...I invited Eric to go paintballing with us tomorrow," I blurt out. "Surprise!"
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