Chapter 4
That night Jessie retired early to her room. She sat beside her window and thought about Jonny and Hadji. She had been so excited to see them but she didn't know it would feel so uncomfortable.
Her semester had been difficult. Dr. Quest was a wonderful teacher and she enjoyed the challenging work in the labotories, but the loneliness was stifling. She never realized before how much she had relied on Hadji and Jonny. Especially on Jonny. They had decided to go to Boston together and they rented apartments side by side. So many people had thought they were dating because they spent so much time together. Jessie fell into a habit of making them dinner twice a week, to save time and money. After she had made one such meal and Jonny sat across from her in her small kitchen, eating off a paper plate, she began realizing how much she enjoyed the little custom. Jessie had never been domesticately inclined, always prefering adventure and mystery to home-cooked meals and laundry, but now she thought fondly of caring for a husband, of settling down comfortably. Jonny would have laughed at the idea if she had brought it up so she didn't say anything.
But the thought wouldn't go away. She tried to reassure herself that she didn't need a man to take care of her, she was far too independant for that, but the idea persisted. Instead of rolling her eyes at pictures of brides in fluffy gowns pasted on the covers of magazines, she found herself studying the expression of joy and peace on the women's faces.
"Hey Ace, are you okay?"
Jessie turned at the sound of Jonny's voice. He stood in the doorway in sweatpants and a tee-shirt. "Yeah, I'm okay. How about you?"
Jonny entered the room and leapt on her bed, landing on his stomach toward her. "Yeah sure. You did look pretty serious. Daydreaming, Jess? Did you go to the moon again?"
"Nah," she answered. "I was just thinking about Boston when we had the apartments next to each other."
"Yeah that was pretty fun." Jonny propped his head in his hands. "It's not the same without you."
She smiled quietly. "Well, the Compound is like a tomb without you and Hadji around."
Jonny grinned and sat up on the bed. "I would have thought that you'd enjoy the peace and quiet."
Jessie smiled weakly and remembered suddenly the time she and Jonny had kissed in Boston. They were watching a movie in his apartment and somehow they went from sitting on opposite ends of the couch to snuggling together in the center. The movie was forgotten and Jonny caressed her face as they spoke in low tones about things that didn't matter. She realized then that her daydreams about settling down were not about settling down with just anybody, but with no one other than Jonny Quest.
That was when they had kissed. It ended quickly with awkward apologies on both ends. After a few uncomfortable days they decided to forget it ever happened and get things back to normal. But Jessie never forgot it. And she couldn't help but feel hurt when she realized that Jonny must have forgotten.
Against her will, her eyes filled with tears at the bitter memory. She had left Boston hoping that with time the feelings she had for Jonny would fade away naturally. Jarringly, she knew now that she cared for him more than ever. The small pain that permeated her heart was growing every minute she was around him.
"Jonny?" Jessie asked quietly.
Jonny shifted his weight to face her. "Yeah, Jess?"
Jessie turned away from the window and Jonny sucked in a dry breath at the sight of her. The pale moonlight heightened the beauty of her features and turned her hair the color of strawberries.
Jessie's eyes were the palest shade of green and Jonny found his eyebrows narrowing as he wondered why her eyes looked so sad.
She lowered her eyes and attempted to speak but the words failed her. Jonny slowly rose to his feet in confusion of the grieved expression on her delicate face.
She tried again to speak as tears shined in her eyes. "Jonny-" her voice cracked on the syllable and she hung her head in shame as she struggled to fight the lump rising in her throat.
Jonny stepped close to her and folded her small frame into his arms comfortingly. "What's wrong, Jess?"
She leaned her cheek against Jonny's chest and enjoyed the feeling of his fingers running through her hair.
She remembered a day, only a year or so ago, when he had held her like this. It was the last day of the summer holidays when Jessie was to begin her training under Dr. Quest and Jonny was going back to Boston alone. She remembered the words she had struggled to say and the tears she fought from spilling on her cheeks. Jonny had left with a cheerful wave and perhaps a slightly confused glimpse in her direction. She never allowed herself to say the words she wanted to tell Jonny but let him leave without knowing.
She sighed shakily and lifted her face bravely. He had grown up so much these past few years. His hair was unruly and adorable as ever, but there was a manly strength in his face now. His jawline was more defined, his blue eyes more intensely fixed.
Jonny let his fingertips brush a lock of Jessie's hair behind her ear. "Just tell me Jess. What's going on?"
"What do you want to do after you graduate, Jonny?" she blurted.
Jonny started. This wasn't the question he was expecting. He stepped away from Jessie and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know, maybe start my own programming company or find a job or travel or something I guess. I don't know."
"But you've thought about it?"
Jonny plopped into Jessie's armchair and fixed Jessie with a puzzled gaze. "Yeah, I have."
Jessie bit her bottom lip and then threw herself at his feet, clutching his hands desperately in her own. "What does your future look like, Jonny?" she asked passionately.
Jonny frowned. "I don't understand, Jessie. Can't you just tell me what's wrong?"
She squeezed his hands hard, the tips of her fingernails just pinching his skin. "I don't know what my future looks like Jonny. That's my problem."
Jonny shook his head, trying to understand. He lifted his face courageously and looked Jessie in the eye. "Jess, I don't understand what you want me to tell you, but I can tell you this. I don't know what my career will be or where I'll live or what your career will be or anything like that. What I do know is this.." Jonny squeezed Jessie's hands and lowered his face closer to hers. "I will always be there for you."
Jessie felt flutters in her heart and heat rise to her cheeks. "Always, Jonny?" she whispered and failed to hide the emotion in her voice.
Jonny smiled firmly. "Always, Jess. I will always be your friend."
Jessie's face changed as the color drained from her face. The passion of her expression faded into quiet resolution. She rose to her feet solemnly. "Thank you, Jonny. Maybe that's what I needed to hear," she whispered as a lonely tear fell unchecked down her waxen cheek.
Jonny stood behind Jessie and wrapped his arms around her. Jessie leaned back into the embrace and Jonny rested his cheek against the flaxen strands of her fire red hair. "Jessie," he continued, "You know you'll always be my number one girl, right?"
Jessie stiffened in his arms and frown lines appeared at the corners of her mouth. "What does that mean, Jonny?"
"Huh? You know, Jess. I mean we'll always be together.. Or.."
Jessie turned to face him. "Jonny, do you remember that night we kissed in Boston?"
Jonny blushed uncomfortably. "Yes, I remember."
Jessie's face softened at the sight of Jonny's obvious discomfort. She sighed and sat on the side of her bed. "I'm sorry Jonny. I shouldn't be doing this to you. We vowed to forget it and it isn't fair for me to bring it up again."
Jonny sat beside her. "Jessie, I don't understand what's wrong. I apologized then and I thought you had forgiven me."
Jessie shook her head softly. "That's not it. That's not it at all."
Jonny's mind raced as he remembered the night of the kiss. He remembered wanting to hold Jessie close and keep her there forever. The kiss occured almost without a conscious thought from either of them. When he drew away from her, the look in her green eyes was pained and distant. Jonny was immediately repentant that he caused her pain and vowed with her to have things back to the way they were.
"Look Jessie," Jonny continued. "We were talking earlier about our futures and everything. I understand how that feels. I wonder the same thing. I don't have any answers but I know everything will all work out."
Jessie snorted and brushed away a tear. "You sure?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I am." Jonny sighed and went to the doorway. "Just get some sleep, Ace. We're going ice-skating tomorrow."
"You too Hotshot."
Jonny ran his hand through his tousled hair and turned to leave. "Goodnight-"
"Wait," Jessie said as she clutched his hand. "Jonny, I don't know whether to be honest or hide everything in order to keep things the way they are."
Jonny raised his eyebrows. "Honest about what, Jessie?"
She lowered her eyelashes bashfully. "Never mind, Jonny." She turned away from him but he captured her in his arms gently.
"Jessie," he said firmly. "This isn't like you. You've got something on your mind and obviously it is bothering you, so just tell me and get it over with."
Jessie's lower lip trembled and she bit it as tears spilled over her cheeks. "Jonny," she mumbled brokenly.
Jonny raised her chin so she would look at him. "Jessie," he said softly. "Tell me."
"I.. I think.. I would like to.. I mean.. I think.. I have feelings for you.." Her eyes widened. "Have I ruined everything Jonny?"
Jonny shook off the intial shock. "No, of course not Jessie. I.. Well, I.. Everything is fine.. We'll just.. I mean." Jonny pulled away from Jessie and cleared his throat. "Goodnight Jess. I'll see you in the morning. We'll talk more later okay?"
Jessie nodded, as her eyes shined with tears. "Are we still friends, Jonny?"
Jonny gritted his teeth. "I meant what I said. We'll be friends always. Nothing can ever change that. Not even if you told me you were actually an alien or something." Jonny smiled. "I'm just surprised. Give me some time okay?"
Jessie wiped away her tears and smiled bravely. "Okay. Thank you Jonny."
"No problem, Ace."
The next day was beautiful and the skating rink was festive with christmas lights and garlands. Surprisingly, the rink was not too crowded and the three friends skated happily. Jonny and Hadji hung back and skated slowly with their gloved hands shoved in their coat pockets.
"She sure is something," Jonny commented as they watched Jessie turn on one skate gracefully. Jessie was the best skater of the group and she beamed as the cold air hit her face. She grinned at the guys and then turned and skated away, seemingly light as a breath of snow on the wind.
"That she is, Jonny," Hadji agreed.
They veered around the corner and Jonny stepped off the ice. Hadji followed suit and the two leaned against the railing comfortably. Jessie soared over the ice beautifully.
"Can I talk to you, Hadji?" Jonny asked. "You know, brother to brother?"
"Of course," the dark-skinned young man answered. "What is troubling you?"
Jonny ran his hand through his blond hair absentmindedly. "It's Jessie. She and I talked last night. She was upset about something.. We talked about our futures and things like that.. but she was still upset. I told her to tell me what was wrong and she told me."
Hadji turned to look at his adopted brother. "What was it?"
Jonny swallowed uncomfortably. "She has feelings for me, Hadj."
Hadji's face paled considerably. "She does?" he asked hesitantly.
Jonny misintrepretated the expression on his brother's face. "I know, it shocked me too," he sighed.
Hadji turned away and swallowed the tears that threatened to reveal his secret. He looked through his cloudy vision and saw Jessie on the ice through the crowd. She was skating gracefully with her slender arms extended and her soft sunrise-colored hair billowing behind her.
Jonny continued, swept up in his turmoil. "I like Jessie, I mean of course I do, but I haven't even thought about having feelings for her. I just thought that the three of us would be best friends forever. Isn't that what you always hoped for?"
Jonny looked at Hadji again and followed the young sultan's gaze leading toward Jessie on the ice. Jonny saw in Hadji's eyes a look so similar to the looks Jessie had been wearing lately. A look of loss and maturity that could only mean one thing.
"You care for her, don't you Hadj?" Jonny asked carefully.
Hadji nodded.
Jonny stammered, "I'm.. I'm sorry Hadji.. I didn't know.. I wouldn't have said anything.."
"It's alright, my friend," Hadji said huskily. "You didn't know."
Jessie was gliding on the ice when suddenly she stumbled over a rough ice patch and landed hard on the ice. Jonny and Hadji rushed out on the ice to help her when they heard her uproarious laughter. She laughed merrily as they each grabbed one of her mittened hands to help her up.
"Are you hurt?" Hadji asked with concern.
"No," she laughed. "Just my pride.. Is this what it takes to get you two on the ice, my falling? What were you guys talking about so seriously anyway?"
Jonny blushed in embarassment and quickly changed the subject to the plans for the rest of the day. Hadji would not meet her eyes but skated away in a dejected silence.
Jessie watched as Hadji skated farther away from her and Jonny rambled on beside her. Her stomach sank as she realized just whom two of the most important men in her life had been discussing.
Chapter 5 coming soon! (And I promise lots of excitment in that chapter. Just wait and see.) Please give me reviews and let me know what you're thinking. Thank you so much!
