A/N: I'm here! I'm alive!

As I wrote on my profile, my computer was down for two months, which made it impossible to me to update my fanfics. I'm so, so sorry for that. I hope that you're still tuned and that you dn't think that I wanted to abandon this fanfic. Because I'd never. Especially since this chapter is my favorite so far...

Well then... I hope you enjoy! :)


Chapter 4 : Angel's Tears

It had all been a dream, Sayu thought, her eyes still closed. Her body started to wake, but she kept her eyes shut. She always tried to avoid opening her eyes too abruptly upon waking. She preferred to keep still for a little while longer, to allow the last pictures of her dream to walk away at their rhythm and to wake up in peacefulness. If she opened her eyes now, the dream would disappear in a flash and she would never be able to remember it again.

And this dream, this dream, she didn't want to lose it.

It had started as a nightmare, though... She was drugged and kidnapped, grabbed by large hands of monstrous creatures and taken far away, miles from her home, and dumped in some damp and dark cellar. The monsters were huge, she remembered. They yelled at her and they beat her. She was terrified. At first.

And then he came to her. The angel. He smelled of chocolate... She could still feel his smell... With her eyes closed like that, breathing in the scent of the images from her dream... She could still feel it... He came and he rescued her. Like a princess from a medieval legend that would get rescued by a beautiful prince. She, Sayu, was rescued just like that. Only that her rescuer was not a prince in his right, but an angel from heaven. No prince would ever come to such a dark and devious place, no prince from legends would exist in our day and age and no prince would want to save a commoner. But an angel would! Angels see no difference between highborns and common people, angels do not care about the time or a place you live in. And an angel came to her.

Sayu got stolen away from the nest where the monsters breed and she rose up to the Angel's lair where he awaited her. He put magic bracelets on her, bracelets that would protect her from harm. Only, when she looked down on her arms, instead of gold and glittery dust, her wrists were attached with chains.

The angel did not come down from heaven to save her from the darkness. The darkness came back to their room and swallowed them both. She heard someone sobbing. She walked through the darkness, being able to move despite the heavy chains. The iron manacles were holding her around her right wrist at first. Or was it the left one? Then, her other wrist was imprisoned too. Then her feet. Then she saw an even larger one closing around her waist. Yet, despite the apparent heaviness of the shackles, she could walk without problems. The chains didn't hold her down. What were they attached to? She was able to walk around normally. Walking in the direction of the voice that she heard sobbing, weeping... Whispering. Yes. Whispering through his cries, in the darkness. Was she safe? How comes that she didn't feel the dread upon walking in a completely dark space, following the direction of cries and whispers?

Will you come back again? Asked the voice.

Again? How could she come back again when she didn't even know where she was? She had never been here before. But she answered yes. She will come back again.

As soon as she said that, two giant wings tore through the darkness. Their whiteness was so bright that it illuminated the dark space around her, propelled her back to heaven, back in the angel's lair. It was him again. The blonde angel who smelled of chocolate. Once they were back in his place, his wings disappeared. He smiled to her. He thanked her. Thanked for what? He was the one who had saved her. She smiled back to him, but when she was about to mutter her own thanks, he walked up to her and kissed her.

What a strange and pleasant dream it was, thought Sayu, feeling more and more awake, but still keeping her eyes closed. She didn't want to forget anything. No fragment of the dream should be lost... The noises, the scents, the sights... The angel... She wanted to remember his image in her head. She wanted to remember his face, his voice... She wanted to go back to the dream, so she would see him again, kiss him again, listen to his voice again... And touch his hair. His hair seemed to be made out of pure gold, and yet, she had the feeling that upon touch, it would be so soft... She would go back there, live through all that the monsters had done to her again and again and again, just to have the occasion to see the angel's face again. To kiss him just once again... And to touch his hair.

But then she felt the cold metal of the shackles on her ankles and realized that not everything has been a dream.


When she opened her eyes, she saw an empty pillow by her side. Mello was gone. Her angel had disappeared. She was afraid. She was terrified once again. She started to cry. At first silently, and then louder and louder, until the sound of her sobs became so distinct and almost melodic. With so much strength, that sound could become a disembodied entity with a life for itself...

Listen to my cries again...

Were those her own cries that she had heard in her dream? Did it even matter now? The dream was gone, the angel had disappeared forever, she was alone in this room, chained and left to die. Her cries started to sound hysterical. She would start screaming at any moment now. And when the fear and panic grew so strong that she thought that she would go mad if it lasted for a second longer, the door opened and someone entered the room.

"The sweet girl's awake," said a voice, "go and find him."

Sayu looked up and through the blur formed by her tears, she saw two women in garish clothes entering the room. One of them kneeled beside the bed, just next to her.

"It's all right, sweetheart", the one with curly brown hair and tanned skin said "Candy's gone to find Mello."

The woman smiled. Under layers of her heavy make-up, Sayu could see that she was pretty. She had a gentle voice... Sayu rubbed her eyes and looked at the woman again. How could one even wear so many colors on her face? If all that came to be washed away, the woman would not only be prettier, but she would look much younger too. How old was she anyways? Sayu looked around and saw another woman standing there, with fewer colors on her face, but her make-up still heavy. She was pale and her hair was slick and dark. It was only then that Sayu managed to take away her eyes from their caked-up faces and to notice their clothes. If there was any doubt left concerning the nature of their job amongst those men, now it was cleared. Sayu knew what they were. But instead of thinking that they may have come here to somehow turn her into one of them, Sayu just smiled.

"You aren't going to hurt me," she said. Since she came here, that was always the first thing that she would care about in a person.

"No, of course not", answered the one with the slick dark hair. She had a deep nasal voice, sharp as a knife. "You can call me Cat. This is Strawberry. Tell me, are you hungry, sweetie?"

"I... Ummm... Yes. Yes I am. You are kind to me... My name is Sayu."

The two prostitutes smiled to her and Cat ruffled her hair. The one with curly hair — Strawberry... What sort of name was it? — took her phone out and called someone.

"Candy, sugar? Yeah... The sweet girl's hungry. Bring some food up here, will ya? Yeah... Okay."

She ended the call and smiled again. They smiled a lot, Sayu observed. How were they able to keep the smile on their face with the kind of life they led? Sayu had been here for only one day and she could already feel her sanity leaving her... These women could only be made of pure steel. Moments later, there was a knock on the door.

"It's Candy and I've gotten us all sandwiches!" she spoke behind the door.

Cat walked over to the door and opened it. Only when she saw the full plate of sandwiches, Sayu realized how hungry she was.

"There, I brought us some drinks too." Candy took some cans of soda and fruit juice from the plastic bag she had brought with her.

Strawberry unlocked the chains around Sayu's ankles as the two other girls were disposing the food on the small table.

"There, now you can go to the bathroom before you pee yourself," she said.

"You trust me not to try to escape?" Sayu asked.

"Honey, there's no way for you to escape," chuckled Cat, "Thee of us to guard you, door locked, and if you get out of this room, you're sure as hell not to get out of the place... Our men will take care of it."

"Oh, I haven't locked the door!" said Candy with a curious joy in the tone. She had a very high-pitched voice, yet despite its pitch, the voice had some sexiness in it. "There's no need. She won't escape. Not all our men are like hers!"

Sayu suddenly felt something sink in her stomach. Angel...

"Where is he?" she asked.

"Pretty Blondie? He said he will come in an hour or so... Has some business to fix with the boss... Making their plan again or so."

"Hey there Candy, if he heard you calling him Pretty Blondie..." started Cat.

"He wouldn't do anything." said Candy with conviction, "He's good to us girls. Never hurt one... See how he's treating this one here!"

She meant her, Sayu realized. Candy was looking in her direction, smiling like they always did.

"Well, you no longer want to pee?" asked Strawberry.

Sayu just nodded and went to the bathroom.

While in the shower, she was thinking about what has been happening to her. Strawberry insisted that Sayu leaves the door open, so that they can come and check on her while she's washing herself. They were strange, these girls... Strange, but kind... Or did they seem kind to her because she was held hostage and yet, she was allowed more or less a normal situation. They brought her food, they let her bathe... And nobody was mistreating her...

They were! she remembered. They were mistreating her, just one day ago... A day that seemed a century ago... A day that seemed part of another life... She was afraid back then. She thought that she would die. But an angel has come and rescued her from the depths of hell, leading her to the highest skies of heaven...

She went out of the shower. She needed food. Or else she would start hallucinating yet again, only this time, it wouldn't be because of drugs, but from hunger.


He had never hurt a girl. Strawberry told how he defended her when she was found shaking in a corner, being beaten by a man who was once in the mafia. That man had died shortly after, during a raid... These prostitutes really seemed to love Mello, thought Sayu. But they said that he was making them frustrated, for he never got intimate with them. Cat was complaining out loud about it, saying how she would gladly get naked with him, how she had been with all the mafia members but the prettiest... And then she laughed. Sayu shrugged. These girls were only human beings. And Mello was an angel. An angel would never get intimate with anyone, let alone with a human. But then she remembered her dream... She kissed an angel in her dream... She kissed him, she kissed her angel in her dream. Or rather, he was the one who kissed her.

The door opened. Sayu had been staring at the table where she had eaten with the girls for quite a moment, she now realized. "Bye Sayu," she heard them say. One of them kissed her on the cheek and another one said that she liked her. But now they were out and the door closed. Sayu turned around. Her angel was in the room with her.


Some color was back to her cheeks, thought Mello. The girls have treated her kindly. He noticed the lack of handcuffs around her wrists. He sighed. Well, the prostitutes too have figured out that there was no need for that.

"How are you, Sayu?" he asked in what he tried to make sound like a casual tone. She couldn't know that he's had a conversation with the Task Force just a couple minutes ago and that Snyder had talked to her father. Her father was now on his way. They agreed to give him his daughter back in exchange of the Death Note two days from now. They assured chief Soichiro that his daughter was just fine and that they weren't treating her harshly. This was actually true, when you think of it. Mello had never treated a hostage this kindly, as far as he could remember. Then again, most of their hostages were men... If they had ever held any girl hostage, it was before Mello joined this mafia crew. And none of them had called him "angel". Mello grinned at the thought, without even realizing it. Upon noticing that Sayu was smiling back, he shook his head and called her closer. In reality, he felt sorry for her. Not only because she had become an object to trade by being kidnapped and dragged into this situation, not only because her brother might as well be the Kira, but also because of that look in her eye. And her smile. He was her kidnapper, the one who ordered her kidnapping, more precisely, and yet, she always seemed so happy upon seeing him. He didn't do anything to deserve it; he was simply not torturing her. And torture was probably what she had imagined upon seeing her captors... It was really sad how she had come to rejoice the lack of cruelty, even if no real cruelty has been done to her, at least according to Mello.

"Sayu, why are you so happy?" he heard himself ask.

She answered with a question. "Can I touch your hair," she said.

Mello was taken aback by that. That, and the fact that she was now walking towards him, cautiously and carefully. The girl has been behaving strangely from the beginning and there was always the risk that she would go crazy. She seemed weak like that. For some reason, he reached for the handcuffs that stood on the chest of drawers next to him. When Sayu got close enough, he grabbed her hand, pulled her closer, and handcuffed her hand to his own, much too hastily. She apparently took it for a scold. The chain of the handcuffs being long enough, she pulled away and sat on the bed, looking at the carpet. Mello sat next to her and took her hand in his own. Once again, he didn't know the reason for this, but he knew, he just knew that it was the right thing to do, that this would bring the necessary memories to him...

Memories...

Angel...

There was something... There was something here and he needed to find out what it was, and what did it have to do with Sayu Yagami and with her thinking that he's an angel.

"Sayu?" Mello started, not exactly having any plan, but knowing that the answer was close.

Sayu raised her eyes towards Mello's. Mello still held her hand in his own. Not leaving her gaze, he pulled her hand to his hair and felt her fingers sink inside his locks.

When she started caressing his hair and when she said "You are an angel" with her hands in his hair, Mello remembered.

Mello's eyes widened.

"Say it again!" It was here... The answer was here! "Say it... Again... Please."

And so she did and Mello leaned on her. As Sayu was passing her fingers through his hair, he found himself lying on her shoulder, shaking. He knew... He knew what he was trying to find out with her... He remembered.

"My beautiful angel..." Sayu said again. Was she crazy or no had stopped mattering. God... An angel... An angel!

Mello let his body slide down and laid his head on her lap. He didn't care if he looked pathetic. It didn't matter. He dragged his legs on the bed, laying in fetal position while the girl who was supposed to be his hostage was stroking his hair and whispering to him. Angel... Angel... He curled even more, praying for this moment to never come to an end. Angel... He knew that the feeling that this word made run through his body was no accident... Angel, angel, angel... And the way she stroke his hair... Angel... This girl, Sayu... Once upon a time, another woman had stroked his hair this way and called him her angel... Once... Years and years ago... He could only remember her through a blur, not even knowing what her face looked like anymore. But when she held him and called him her dearest little angel, he would feel safe. From the first moment that Sayu had called him her angel, he knew that he had to restore the memory that was linked to that word. He knew that there was a memory linked to it, he just didn't remember what memory it was at first. But now, he knew.

Mello's mother was taken from him much too early. In a horrible way. So horrible that he would try to forget it. He would push the memory so deep into the darkest corners of his mind that everything related to it would begin to fade. At first, he didn't want to forget the woman who gave him life, but the memory of their separation was so painful that it dragged along in the darkness everything related to his mother. He had forgotten her face, her voice, he had forgotten the words that she had spoken to him, he had forgotten the feel of her touch, a touch of tenderness in his hair... Up till now. And now, all these years later, now that he became a completely different man from the little boy that he had once been, those long-forgotten words came to him again. They were spoken to him first by a terrified girl, not as words of motherly love or the one who will provide protection, but in the voice of one who sought protection. Sayu saw in him the one who will make her feel safe. Maybe that was why he wanted so, why he longed so to help her out... Maybe it is because now, it was his turn to save somebody from a life-long trauma. Or maybe, maybe it was his way of honoring the memory of the one who gave him life, the one that he couldn't have helped... He will honor her by helping someone else. Someone who saw him as an angel as well...

Mello didn't care that tears were building up in his eyes and he didn't care when they began to escape, leaking over his cheeks and dripping on Sayu's lap. He didn't care about how she was supposed to be his hostage and how he was supposed to be strong and imposing in front of her. It didn't matter. Nothing of the kind mattered anymore. He finally understood that emotion that awoke in him when she first called him an angel. He now knew where it came from. And now, he would never let it go again. He took her other hand — the one on which she wore a handcuff — into his own. She was still stroking his hair with her free hand and he prayed God and all the saints he could think of that she never stops. An angel... Him? The thought would have been ridiculous in any other situation, but now... Now that he remembered where it came from... He felt as if she was the angel that God sent to him to help him remember something that no man should ever forget. Mello now felt silly for ever having thought of Sayu as weak, for now he was the one sobbing in her embrace and she was the protective hand... In this moment, Sayu was his angel.


A/N: This chapter contains the image that came to my mind one day, for some reason, the image of Mello curled in a ball on Sayu's lap... It was a weird image, but it came to me. And from that image was born this fanfic.

So I just want to say once again that I'm immensely happy of having arrived here and for having finally published this chapter. And I also want to thank you all for your support and your kind comments once again.

Lots of love from LooneyZampy and stay tuned! :)

From now on, I really hope that the updates will be faster xD