This day officially sucked.
First, the given reasons of the season were self-explanatory. He had at the beginning foolishly thought that this year would be better than the last, because Maka hadn't beaten anyone too annoying to a bloody pulp yet and he'd thought that maybe she had started to accept the accursed day, but then she had gone ahead and been all spaced-out and weird. It grated on his nerves, especially since he didn't know why she was behaving this way and it worried him. Silent, spaced-out Maka was usually a lot worse than angry Maka, because silent Maka was usually brooding over something important, yet wouldn't talk to him about it for some stupid reason. And usually, things tended to get worse the more she thought about it. And the more she lost herself in spiralling thoughts, the harder it was for him to convince her that it was alright, that she was stupid for not seeing the simple solution. No, it hadn't been her fault that he got hurt, he decided that all by himself. No, she definitely was a good enough meister, but couldn't she open her eyes and see it for herself that he wasn't strong enough alone? And no, he wasn't let her going to break up their partnership, because he'd never, ever want another meister and that if she was just doing it for what she thought his sake, then he was going to put a stop to her stupid actions. Most of the time, with things like these, he had only figured it out after the problem had already become rooted inside her, but at least he had figured it out some way or the other. And until now he'd always been able to bring her back. How was he supposed to do that if she didn't let him know what the hell was up with her? He was afraid that someday because of something like this, of some miscommunication he hadn't been aware of, things really might break. He was afraid that he'd lose her because he hadn't figured out what to do fast enough.
Also, he had absolutely no idea as to what could be bugging her. Nothing serious had happened that she would feel the need to worry about. And for the things that had happened in the past – well, as far as he was concerned, they had talked about everything that really needed to be said, about everything that needed to be set right. It couldn't be those thoughts from the past, because if it was, then he'd done a more than crappy job at talking it through with her.
He didn't think that was the real problem this time though. Granted, he didn't think she had any reasons to be spaced out either and yet she was. So much for thinking. Not that that was his strong point anyway, it was hers and that was probably the root of the problem and her weirdness today. The only possible explanation he could – with his stomach churning – fathom, the only thing that could possibly upset her (at least that he was aware of) would be if she had somehow noticed his feelings for her, but … no. He had kept his feelings under a tight lock and if she had somehow found out despite that, he firmly believed that she would act differently. Because, surprise, surprise, if it was him with the problem then she wouldn't stop at anything to resolve it if he let her. Not that that would be an easy problem to solve, he couldn't just stop loving her after all, but he was pretty damn sure that she'd try. He wanted to call her a hypocrite for it, for keeping something from him when she wanted him to open up to her completely, but he kept his mouth shut. He was the same after all. It wouldn't be fair to say that he was completely open to her after all, not after he had kept his pining for her a secret for the last few years. So yes, he was a hypocrite too, but if she had a problem, why couldn't she just get it on with and talk to him about it? He was her partner, goddammit! The one thing he wouldn't blame her for would be if she had exactly the same problem as he did, being in love with his partner, but that had remained a wishful fantasy of his throughout the years. Why would it change now? God, what if she really had found out that he loved her? What if she was just thinking of ways to break it to him nicely that they were done, that she couldn't stay together with a weapon that hadn't been able to keep his feelings platonic?
He needed to calm down. He wasn't going to freak out on her, not now, not in public. He'd save that for later when they were home again, because he honestly didn't think he could stand not knowing any longer than that. She probably didn't know and he was freaking out for nothing. It was probably just another of those stupid misconceptions of hers, because she wasn't just avoiding him in particular. Sure, somehow she hadn't looked him in the eye much today, but that didn't have to mean anything. She hadn't looked anyone much in the eye today because of the simple fact that she was too far absorbed in her thoughts to notice much of the things going on around her, mindlessly slurping some milkshake with scrunched up nose, fixating a point somewhere between here and Nirvana.
"Maka! Hey! Hey! LISTEN TO YOUR GOD WHEN HE'S TALKING!"
The booming voice of Black Star seemed to be enough to somewhat snap her out of it and blinking she shifted her attention from point x to the blue-haired assassin, looking a bit displeased at the interruption of her thought process. No seething anger for being yelled at like that, no demanding that he act like the mature man he was supposed to be and not like some overgrown toddler, no Maka-chop. No nothing. He was starting to develop the alternate thesis that she had somehow managed to get sick again after just two weeks … although it wasn't very likely, she was tougher than that.
"Hm? Were you saying something?"
Of course, that was not the most sensible thing to say to the biggest ego on earth and for one moment the eyes of said egocentric meister flashed in anger that someone would dare to not listen to their god and he opened his mouth to say something – probably many curses and demands that she listen to her god – but the bloodlust in his eyes quickly deflated and Soul was surprised at the almost somber look of his nutcase friend, who was usually the exact opposite of somber.
"You need to get laid, Maka. Even someone as big as me has to forgive you for not listening to me when you're that frustrated."
Those words and the fact that Black Star was crazy enough to mean every single one of them seemed to wake Maka up with a start and spluttering she raised the all-known book threat. Black Star didn't even have the time to make a tactic retreat and several Maka-chops later Soul was glad to see his fuming and indignant meister glomp down the remains of her sandwich. Now if she'd just stay that way long enough for him to get to the reason of it all and he'd be golden. Hopefully. He supposed he should be thanking Star for letting her get a bit out of hand, because that was the normal Maka. The one he was used to. But at the sight of his passed out friend he knew he definitely shouldn't thank Black Star for something like that in Maka's presence or he'd soon join his bro in the state of unconsciousness.
"What'd I tell ya?" came the croaked voice of exactly that supposedly unconscious moron "She definitely needs to find a way to vent out those aggressions of hers."
Well, maybe he would only join his bro in the state of semi-consciousness if he thanked him for riling his meister up, since the moron was persistent enough to stay awake. Or in a coma, what with the way Maka immediately took up two book in every hand to make sure that after this beating, Black Star wouldn't be able to say anything anymore. Soul shuddered a little at the thought. Thank death she hadn't used that particular move on him yet or he would be out for the count for the next few years. He wasn't that resilient. Black Star was only alive because some way or the other his abilities (and pain tolerance) exceeded the ones of normal humans, but he himself was pretty normal in that regard. Better never do anything that would make her so mad that she'd chop him to actual death before risking it just for the chance to see her flush and splutter in anger and embarrassment. With the way things looked, there was an awful amount more blood coming from Black Star's head than usually. Those books of hers really were deadly ammunition.
He watched her as she got back to her drink and the sandwich he'd gotten her. Yeah, he had grumbled about it in the beginning, although half-hearted, but it was merely a pretence to mask the fact that – were she to ask him – he'd do much more than getting her a sandwich. Even if it went against his cool persona. Of course, she knew, at least a little. She just didn't need to know that he would do things even more uncool than the ones he already did anyway. She didn't need to know that he actually had way less problems with being uncool than she thought – at least if it was for her. She didn't need to know. It would give her more power than she already had over him and quite frankly, he was more than sure that she'd use that power. That in itself didn't necessarily bother him, though he didn't necessarily need the boost on the uncool parameter either. What didn't do you any explicit harm – or not much anyway – didn't have to be done at all costs. It wasn't like he'd gain anything by letting her know that he was even more whipped than she gave him credit for, and there was always the possibility that that little knowledge gave her the hint she needed to realize that his feelings miiight just be a little too strong. For now she was oblivious to it (well, hopefully at least) and didn't notice the downright pathetic looks he sometimes gave her … like now. Granted, she wasn't really in the state to notice anything besides Black Star's insults / innuendos and that was only once the ego-based assassin has actually gotten her to acknowledge his "godly presence", but that was beside the point, since she didn't seem to notice even if she was not out of it and he wanted to keep it that way.
"… ul. Soul." He looked up to find Maka standing before him, a bit irritated and expectant. "Lunch break is over already. Let's head back to the classroom."
Well, apparently she could still concentrate enough to notice the bell, so maybe she wasn't that bad off. She was looking him in the eye too and he knew her too well to keep on thinking that she'd figured him out – she hadn't. He didn't see any of the awkwardness or lack of trust in her that he figured he'd see if she did know, although he did catch a glimmer of something else, something he couldn't quite name. Oh well. That could wait until they got home. At the moment he had a class to sleep through.
"Yeah, alright."
He'd figure out what was wrong with her somehow. Not any problem could be harder to get rid off than her knowing of those stupid feelings and since she hadn't gotten that little fact yet, it couldn't be that hard.
He should have known differently at the time, if only because Maka always made things more complicated than they should be.
