A/N: It's been a while. Partly because I've been busy and partly because these characters just won't seem to do what I ask. I'd had some plans to keep them apart a bit longer, but they just wouldn't have it. So I hope you like the direction they took it in.

part four

The plan, discussed and analyzed, and carefully considered over many a pro/co list is to wait until after Logan gets married and then tell him about the pregnancy. The society pages tell her the wedding had been set for June of 2017. So is Rory's due date. So he won't miss much. Just some puking and a few late night Chinese food runs.

Once he and Odette are back from their honeymoon and settled she'll make the call, and tell him he could be as involved or uninvolved as he wanted. No judgment. No pressure. She just feels he had the right to know.

It's not perfect but it's the best she has right now. Because she won't tell him before. She won't get in the way. She will not derail his life right along with her own. He deserves so much more then that. Still, she desperately wants to pick up the phone and call him.

Instead, she writes another chapter.

::::

The book is coming along slowly. She's been writing steadily since they said goodbye all those weeks ago. It's the perfect distraction. Especially since the early stages of her life have nothing to do with him. She loses herself in the world of Chilton, when her biggest issue was not being able to tell a boy she loves him. But then again, isn't that the issue now too?

When the book gets too serious she turns to less emotional tasks. Like grad school applications. If she's going to be a teacher then she needs a masters in education. And she does want to be one. Once she checked her ego and really thought about it the idea made a lot of sense. She loved school and learning, and a solid, steady job is probably just what she needs. Especially with a baby to support. Being a vagabond isn't quite as appealing when you're carrying a newborn from couch to couch right along with you. She'll keep writing her book on the side. And she's also still running the Stars Hollow Gazette (Although that's running pretty smoothly now that she's figure out a system.)

For all her talk about her crazy life, rushing from place to place, she's busier now then she's been in years. It feels good to be working towards something again, to have an end goal. And the baby's due date has given her a timeline, forcing her to stay on track.

She knows her mom likes the idea too. One night Lorelai wakes up after midnight, after another strange dream, to see Rory studying for some entrance exams. She's surrounded by books and a pot of decaf coffee, and wearing one of her old matching pajamas sets. Her mom pours herself a cup of coffee and sits down beside her. When she's done reading her passage she looks up. "What is it?"

Lorelai shakes her head "Nothing. I'm just proud of you, kid."

Rory smiles and takes another sip of her decaf. It's been a long time since she's heard that.

:::

It's week eight, and it's the baby's first ultrasound, and Lorelai is at her side.

Her mother holds her hand as they place the cool jelly on her stomach and watch the screen, waiting for something to happen. Then she sees it, her baby. Their baby. Suddenly it all becomes a little more real. By the time she hears the heartbeat there are tears streaming down her eye. She knew she wanted to keep the baby, but this is the moment she'll look back on and remember being excited to become a mom. This is the moment when her switch flipped. It's also a moment she wishes she was sharing with Logan.

She wants to pick up the phone and call so many times, but their goodbyes stop her. His family stops her. His obligations. Her pride. There are so many obstacles in their way. It would all be so difficult. And he still might not choose you, a little voice in the back of her head whispers. She doesn't want to think that that's the reason she doesn't pick up the phone to call him, but she knows its part of it.

:::

Instead she tells other people. Luke who does a great job of pretending he didn't already know. Lane who is shocked, but cautiously excited. Paris who insists on being her obgyn. That is, after she offers to hire a hit man to take out Logan. Or his French fiancé. (It's a strong no on both accounts.) And slowly but surely, the entire town of Stars Hollow.

Then there's her grandmother.

Now that she's closing in on the end of the first trimester it can no longer be avoided. She practices on Lorelai, but her mother's impressions don't make her feel any better. So eventually she just bites the bullet, tells her grandmother she's coming out a week earlier than she planned for their holiday festivities and braces herself for the worst of the worst. When it comes down to it, she just says it, with no frills, right as Emily serves cocktails.

"Grandma," she says, "I'm pregnant. Logan is the father but we're not together. He's engaged to someone else." She pauses for a moment, but Emily doesn't say anything. She doesn't look mad, just shocked maybe. So she keeps going. "I'll tell him eventually. After his wedding. But you shouldn't expect us to be together."

Still nothing. So she goes for her closer. "I realize this isn't what you wanted for me but, I hope you can support me anyway."

Emily takes a sip of her cocktail and then places it on a coaster. She looks Rory straight on, purses her lips, and finally says. "Thank you for telling me Rory. Of course I'll support you."

"Really?" She asks, suspiciously. This was not the reaction she was expecting.

"Yes, really." Emily says. Then she stands and reaches for the untouched glass in front of her.

"Now let me get you some seltzer instead of that martini."

Emily only makes one more comment on the subject, just as she's about to leave the room. "You know your grandfather was engaged to someone else when we first met."

Rory throws herself back onto the couch and screams into a throw pillow.

:::

After that, Rory spends a lot of time on Nantucket during the early days of 2017. It's quiet and beautiful, and a great place for her to continue writing, which she does, none stop. In between puking and eating saltines.

And stalking Logan's fiancé.

Odette's a bit of a socialite, and there's more than a few blogs eager to cover her and Logan's wedding. It seems wedding preparations are officially underway, and every gossip site is desperate to get all the juicy details. Rory reads every line- from bridesmaid dresses to floral arrangements. And sometimes she can't tell if it's the extravagance of this wedding or the morning sickness that's making her puke.

But for every hour she spends stalking her baby-daddy, she has to spend two writing. It's a very productive system.

:::

It's not the sonogram that convinces her she needs to tell Logan. Or Emily's gentle needling about people sometimes needing a push in the right direction. Or Luke's reminders about how much he missed out on with April. Instead, it's her baby. Their baby.

She's eating celery sticks (pregnancy cravings are weird!) and re-working the chapter on her first day of Chilton when she feels it. A light fluttering in her stomach. Butterflies. Their baby was kicking. It's then that she gets it. It's not about her and Logan. It's not about if he choses her or not. It's about giving him the chance to choose his child. To choose moments like this. It's a choice her father had and walked away from, and a choice Luke never got.

She's not sure what choice Logan will make, but she knows she needs to give him the chance to truly make it before he's committed to another life.

:::

Still, in early March, when she's back in Stars Hollow, it's not Logan she calls. It's Colin.

He's always been the most reserved with her, cautious of her return to Logan's life. He was the last one to forgive Rory for breaking Logan's heart and the most skeptical of their arrangement. And if anyone was going to tell her the truth, that Logan really was happy and better off without her, it would be him. So she calls and asks him to meet her for coffee, says she has some stuff she wants to talk through, that she doesn't want to disrupt Logan's life, and that she could use some advice.

He seems suspicious but he agrees, and they plan to meet at a coffee shop in Hartford.

She doesn't tell him she's pregnant.

:::

The next day, they get through the formalities, and then the waitress comes to take their order. She orders decaf and it's all over. She see's the color drain from his face, as he mutters "Oh, God."

And suddenly, this feels like the worst idea she's ever had. "Oh god," she echoes, standing from her chair, "Oh God."

"Rory," Colin stands. "Rory, wait- don't."

But she just shakes her head, placing her hand over her stomach as she walks backwards. Ignoring the dizziness that has suddenly washed over her, she says."This was a bad idea."

"Wait," Colin grabs her arm. "Just tell me, Rory are you-"

"I'm pregnant," she says. And then she passes out.

::

When Rory wakes up she's in a hospital bed, and her mom is standing over her. When Lorelai sees her eyes flutter, she reaches out and grabs her hand. "Hey sleepy head. How are you feeling?"

Instinctively, she reaches to touch her stomach. "Mom, the baby-"

"Is fine. Everything is fine." She says, but there are tears in her eyes. "It was stress and over-exhaustion. But if you take care of yourself and slow down it will all be ok."

Rory signs, releasing a breath. She closes her eyes, ready to drift off again. Then like a jolt she remembers where she was when this all started. "Colin. Logan. Mom-"

Lorelai sighs. "No stress, remember? We'll deal with it when you wake up." She wants to protest, but without even realizing it she drifts off again.

:::

This time when Rory wakes it's to shouting outside her door. Coming from a voice that sounds like Logan's. "Where is she?" Muffled voices, and then, "I don't care. I need to see her."

It's Lorelai who responds, louder this time. "Logan, you really need to let her rest. This isn't a good time."

"It never is," he bites back. Then his voice gets noticeably softer. "I just want to make sure she's ok."

"Logan-" It's Colin now. He must have called Logan, she thinks, in her dazed state. "I know you want to see her, but before you do, there's something you should know."

She wants to hear the rest, but she just can't stay awake any longer.

::::

It's Logan at her bedside this time. He's in his dress clothes, his jacket and tie gone, and his hair sticking up from every direction. His eyes are bloodshot. He looks... terrible, and her breaks for him.

She reaches out to shift some hair out of his face, and the movement wakes him. Suddenly his entire face changes. He's looking at her with so much anger, and so much worry all at once. She's never seen him look like that before.

"Logan," she starts, but he cuts her off, leaning forward in his chair. "Are you ok?"

"What?" She fumbles over the question. That is not where she thought this was going.

"Are you ok? Do you feel ok? Everything feels...normal?"

She takes a minute to think about it. Takes a deep breathe and places her hand on her stomach "Yes, everything is fine. "

"Good," he says, pushing out of his chair to stand. "Now my next question. Why didn't I know you were pregnant with my baby?"

"Logan-"

Again, he cuts her off, beginning to pace. "This is our baby right? I'm assuming so, because the timing matches up. But just to make sure I'm not un-righteously angry here. This is my baby. Not Pete or Pats or-"

Rory sighs, wipes the sleep from her eyes. They're doing this now. "Paul. His name was Paul."

"I don't really give a fuck, Rory." He snaps. And to be fair, she gets that. So she says, "Yes. It's our baby. Yours and mine. There's been no one else."

"Funny, because I don't remember being invited to the sonogram."

"That's because the situation was-is complicated."

"Well un-complicate it for me Rory. What gives you the right to keep this baby from me? You can keep me out of your life if that's what you want, but this is my child. I have rights."

"Our child," she corrects. "And I wasn't keeping the baby from you. I was going to tell you."

Realization dawns on his face, and he runs his hands down his face, then through his hair before asking the question he already knows the answer to. "When?"

"I didn't want to mess up your plans," she hedges.

"When Rory?

"Originally, after the wedding but then-"

"Jesus, Rory!" He says, pacing again.

"I still don't want to mess up your plans! Of course you can be a part of this baby's life in anyway you want. That's why I asked Colin to meet me! But you and Odette-"

"Odette!" He's laughing now, half angry, half delirious from jet lag and sleep deprivation. "There is no me and Odette, Rory."

"What do you mean?" She asks, her heart suddenly in her throat.

Logan turns to face her head on. "I broke it off last week," he says. Then he turns and walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

:::::

The fourth time she wakes up in her hospital bed it's once again with Logan by her side, awake, and aware, staring straight at her. When he sees her stir he gives her a half smile. "Hey Ace,"

"You're back," she says, softly. "You're here."

He shakes his head, half smiling. "I just went out to get some fresh air and a coffee. I wasn't going anywhere. Not really."

It makes sense when he says it now, but at the moment she'd convinced herself that she'd lost her chance, that she'd handled it all wrong and now he was gone for good. She doesn't know what to say, so she grabs his hand and squeezes. He squeezes back. "Colin talked me down. Told me you called him. Told me there was probably more to it than I thought. To think about it from your point of view."

"Logan," she says softly and her voice cracks, the tears suddenly streaming down her face. "I'm so sorry. "

He grabs her hand with his own. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have yelled like that."

"You have to know. I was going to tell. I'd originally planned to wait until after the wedding but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do the right thing. Not after I felt the baby kick. But with all the wedding stuff everywhere I was afraid I was too late."

Logan winces visibly. "That's why I called Colin. I wanted to find out if you'd really moved on. "

"Rory it's been ten years," he says wiping a tear from her cheek. "You should know by now there's no moving on for me. Not when it comes to you."

:::

After that, they don't have much time to talk. Rory is overwhelmed with visits from her grandmother and Luke. Lane and Zach. And Paris and Doyle (who strangely enough arrive and leave together.) None of them are exactly Logan- friendly.

So Logan takes the time to go back to Colin's, take a shower, eat, and "deal with some things." Rory can only imagine that means dealing with the ramifications of walking out of a financial planning meeting when Colin had texted him the super vague Rory is in the hospital. Thought you should know. Colin told her that he got in a car and went directly to the airport. Logan was such a wreck that Colin couldn't even bring himself to tell him about the pregnancy over the phone. Even though she hates the idea of him falling apart like that it makes her heart hurt to know that after everything they'd been through he'd get on a transatlantic flight to come see her in heartbeat if she needed him.

And she did need him. More than she even realized.

Not that everything is fixed. In fact, nothing is fixed. They are so far from ok. There's so much they need to talk through, questions to be answered and plans to be made. But for now it's enough to know that he's nearby. And not engaged to another woman.

:::

When it's time for her to leave the hospital, she's sort of afraid to go. She hasn't gone a day with out seeing him since he showed up next to her hospital bed last week. The circumstances were less than ideal, but still it's a luxury they haven't had in a very long time. And they still have so much to talk about.

She feels it from him too. He spends the whole morning at her bedside, packing and unpacking her bag, and asking the nurse the same questions over again. When really, the only question on her mind is what happens now? Is he headed back to London? He may no longer be engaged but he still lives on another continent. They haven't even talked about it. They don't have a plan.

"What's the plan?" She finally says, and he looks up from repacking her duffle bag. "What's the plan now? I've been here. You've been living out of the hospital with me. I'm going back to my mom's but you- are you going to Colin's? Back to London? What are we going to do?"

"I-I don't know." He says. "I have to go back eventually. At least to figure some stuff out, but not yet. I guess…I can go back to Colin's for now. Until we've figured out a plan."

She bites her lip. That's still a 30-minute drive from her mom's. "Or you can stay at the Dragon Fly. I can have my mom set us up with a room. And we can… talk."

He smiles, and without hesitation says, "Ok."

"Ok."

::

When they're alone and settled, and away from prying eyes, a different sort of tension builds. They still haven't talked about it, not really. They're both afraid to bring it up, to bridge this peace that's settled between them. But on their second day at the inn the universe gives them a push.

"You have got to be kidding me."

She peaks her head out of the bathroom to see Logan glaring at her charging phone. "What is it?"

He looks up at her, anger and hurt in his eyes. "You're still seeing him?"

She's genuinely confused now. "What? Who?"

"Paul." He throws her phone at her, and she catches it and looks down. Sure enough there's an unread message from her sort-of ex.

"No Logan. I'm not. That's over. In fact," she admits, placing the phone down and walking into the bedroom. "We were never even really together."

Logan snorts. "Rory, you don't have to lie. I saw the Instagram photos."

"Photo." She corrects. "And that wasn't what it looked like."

"What was it then?"

She looks down at her stomach, then up at the man standing in front of her, and tries something new. Honesty. "Me trying to get over you."

Logan laughs, angrily. "That's funny. You trying to get over me? When for the last few years all I've been doing is trying to get you back."

Rory glares, annoyed by his incredulity when he was the one engaged to another woman. "Really? You sure have a funny way of showing it."

Logan walks over to the mini-bar and pours himself a drink. "I guess we're doing this now, huh?"

She knows exactly what he means. They've both been walking on eggshells waiting for the blowout. And the time has finally arrived. "I guess so."

"Fine" he says, "I'll start." And then without missing a beat, "You walked away. You stopped answering my calls. You handed me back the key. You ended things. Every time."

"Logan!" She screeches. "You were engaged. To a French heiress. I'm sorry if I didn't want to settle for being your dirty mistress."

"Rory that's not—"

"What you meant?" She asks "But that's how it would have been right? I didn't want another house in Maine or a pity trust fund or obligatory declarations and proposals"

"Obligatory? You thought I'd feel obligated to you?" He takes another sip of his drink. "Rory I've been in love with you since I was 20! I proposed to you! I wanted a life with you!

"That was years ago Logan!" She screams. "I didn't know what you're thinking. This time it was all Vegas, and no strings, like we were starting all over again!"

"That was your idea." He shoots back, and just as quickly she adds, "And the French heiress fiancé? Was that my idea too?"

"I got out of it." He says suddenly quieter, less angry. "I never wanted that."

"Yes," Rory says, quieter now too, but just as serious. "You got out of it. And you didn't come after me."

Logan walks the distance between them, and grabs her shoulder. "I didn't know I could, Rory. I didn't know that was an option. That we were still an option."

She sighs, and shakes her head. "We're such idiots. All I wanted was another shot with you. I just didn't feel like I had the right to ask. Not after last time."

"And I didn't think you wanted serious with me. This time or last time." He shrugs, "But I figured something was better than nothing."

Rory places her hand to his cheek. "It was never about you. I was too young. And too scared. And I had all these ideas about how I had to go off and conquer the world and make it on my own."

She sighs and sits down on the bed. "And fast forward all these years later and I'm such a mess, and you're this huge success. I just—I thought you deserved better I guess."

"Ace," He walks towards her, kneels down in front of her, wipes a tear from her eye. "Don't you know you're the only one I've ever wanted?"

A smile breaks through the tears that have been building, and she places a chaste kiss on his lips, before falling onto the bed behind her. "I can't believe how long it took us to have this conversation.

Logan snorts, and lays down beside her. "Only took ten years, two continents, a few scorned lovers and a baby."

Rory groans and covers her face with her hand, but he grabs it away and looks at her straight on. "Seriously, though," he says, his voice low. "We're doing this then?"

She smiles, her tone matching his. "Yeah, I think we are."