That evening I returned home. It took all my strength to keep Fuji-nee under control. Actually, it's fair to say she went easy on me. I really have no means to control that woman. She's worse than Rin and Saber put together.
It was crazy of me to do so, but I pushed myself to prepare a simple dinner for the two of us. I could not stand for very long, but I was able to reach a stool and plop myself atop it. I used Fuji-nee as a lean-to back to the table, however.
Yeah, that had not been a bright idea. I was in excruciating pain still, a cast from my shin all the way down to my ankle plus a split on my wrist and an aching where all my ribs were bruised. I was tempted to try and reinforce my leg to see if it might help, but I couldn't risk making Fuji-nee more worried if it back-fired and I wound up screaming in agony.
We eat quietly opposite one another. Truly, the most awkward meal I have ever had.
"If you ever do something like this again, I will kill you." She says almost jovially, a dark glint in her eye.
"Really Fuji, I...I'm s-"
"No." She clips me off, "I'm sorry," a sudden breath - she starts coughing, choking on her food, "It took me almost a week to find you- you- I didn't even realize you were missing until Wednesday."
"It's not your fault-" the worst thing for me to say, she barks back angrily,
"I know I'm not your mother Shirou! But for god's sake - you are my responsibility. It is my fault. I wasn't paying attention, blithely believing you were off- I don't know- And look what happened! You could have-" you could have-" tears of relief drip from her eyes, she's sagging in her seat, smiling a kind of smile that's shrunken and shrivelling up her face like a prune.
I can't eat like this. I set down the chopsticks and take a breath. But no words come, I really don't know what to say. It's misplaced, her guilt. I know for certain that I'm to blame for this.
There's really nothing I can do to fix this, I realize. IOr maybe there is a way, but I've never been good with understanding people like this... I look up and meet her gaze, bearing it.
"You know, you can trust me Shirou-kun." She says softly, returning to herself. Eating with the kind of feminine grace I have rarely seen her have, something a little strange still lingers.
I nod, watching her delicately scoop rice grains into her mouth.
"What exactly were you trying to do that got you so..." she pauses, so I supply, "Messed up."
"Yes..." she mumbles, "Shirou, don't tell me... was it Ayako?"
All the seriousness in the room seems to fade. I feel my shoulders give out in the most exaggerated slackening of my body I've ever experienced.
"Ayako?! What does Ayako have to do with any of this?!"
"Well, I thought you two were close... And, you are becoming quite dashing..." she averts her gaze, cheeks pinkening with a girlish innocence, "Ayako has connections. Really Shirou, if she had this done to you over jealousy or some misplaced form of affection... I swear, even though our families are-"
"No! It was definitely nothing like that at all." I rub my face, tears coming out of my eyes - something like a giggle making me laugh uncontrollably; I can't even feel concerned for what she might have done to poor Ayako this week, with such insane speculations, "What gave you such a ridiculous-"
"Well, it's not like you've been keeping up with your swordsmanship, if she started bullying you, I'm not even sure you could protect yourself Shirooou..." she sighs dourly as I lose it.
I then clean my face with a warm handcloth.
"No, Ayako... she's just a friend. We don't see each other that way. And she's nothing like that, either. I hope you didn't interrogate her."
She nods stiffly, "Well... don't take it as a joke, I wasn't trying to be funny," she pouts, "I'm being serious. And of course I did interrogate her, who else would I ask if I wanted to find you?" she growls, "Really! What happened to you? The doctors did not supply me with anything!"
"Well, they might have, had you not been muscling them with an armed escort..." I rub my forehead, "Seriously, Ayako? Did you at least try asking Sak-"
She meows, "Shirou!"
Could I tell her the truth? Honestly, she would never believe me. I couldn't believe myself. All I wanted to do was reach out to Sakura, to Rin, to Saber... But then again, I am terrible at lying. I'm not sure I can pull it off. And what would be the ramifications of telling the truth? Taiga could do anything, armed with the knowledge I had. For her own protection, didn't I need to keep her in the dark? Kiritsugu had never involved her, but he had not always made the best decisions, either.
I swallow, hesitating. It's not good, Fujimura knows how to press advantage in such a situation. While I'm still in control of my own mouth, I decide to surrender peacefully.
"You know I'm not very good at lying," she nods with a kind of patience she usually lacks, "You also know that I wouldn't hide anything from you unless I thought..." I sigh, the desire to blame Kiritsugu bubbling up, but I push it away, "I know I won't be able to convince you not to stay out of this, even though it's really something I shouldn't tell you..."
"Oh come on Shirou! Tell me! Tell me!" her balled fists beat the table, "Quit with the dramatics!" she blinks, "Or is, is it some rival Yakuza after all? You really don't have to worry, I'm not ignorant of those sorts-"
"It's not got anything to do with that, Fuji-nee."
She settles down a little.
"Then what?"
I find the courage to tell her, fire in my chest, "It started before I brought Saber home with me three weeks ago. But even before then, it all began with the fire, the very reason I'm alone. Old Man was trying to stop something like that from happening in the first place." I think, the details are something that are a blur.
Fuji tilts her head, confused, "Go on," she supplies unsurely.
"Did you ever wonder why Old Man was so different? Why he had so few friends? I only just learned of the true extent of who he truly was."
"It's not like I didn't have some ideas," she mewls, "So it was your connection to Kiritsugu that got you banged up that badly?"
"In a way, yes." I sigh, relieved. Nothing further spills from my lips. I feel rather numb again.
"Well, don't stop there." She curls her finger at me, beckoning me to continue with a tightly coiled smile.
"It definitely gets more complicated from there," I hesitate again, "I'm serious Fuji-nee, this goes deeper than some drug trade or arms smuggling, or whatever it is you've got cooked up in your head already. The fire, it wasn't something a normal human could create."
She grabs me by the collar from across the table and makes a menacing cat-like glare, "I need to know this, Shirou, stop dancing around it and tell me." I remind her with a yelp that I'm still freshly "discharged" from the hospital and she lets me go with a blush.
And it's all a blur from there; in the beginning only a few stark words tumble out of me. About Tohsaka. Saber. The fire was caused by the Grail. Kiritsugu had wanted it, but destroyed it. I had met a backhanded Witch, a deadly Assassin, an inhuman Berserker... Rin wasn't who I thought she was. Archer was really me. I died and came back to life. Twice? There wasn't any way to narrate the story in a coherent way - it was all tangled up inside me and untangling it was making me relive those moments again. I needed someone with a cool head to articulate it. I started fudging the details and eventually I just stopped talking as disbelief sprouted in Fujimura's eyes before me.
Gathering herself, time returns to my sense. I can see the moon in the drapes behind her. I look up and watch the stars, put in a daze by her very first question.
"You keep mentioning this... Tohsaka person like I'm supposed to know her. Who is she? What happened Shirou?" she pauses, "And who is Saber? I don't really understand Shirou. Are these acquaintances of Kiritsugu's?" Dread creeps into her voice, as she scrutinizes me warily.
