A/N: Wow, I just realized that since this story is going to have just eight chapters (plus an epilogue in Perry's POV) this means that we're pretty much halfway done. It's going a lot faster than I anticipated. Anyway, thank you guys again for all of your reviews and encouragement. Getting them really brightens up my day, and I love seeing people get so into the story. :) Well, that's about it from me. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I own a very large nothing.

Chapter 4:

JD had never in his life felt such an odd mixture of panic and pleasure.

What was…what was going on!? Dr. Cox was kissing him with an urgency he hadn't felt from any other kiss before, and had certainly never expected to feel from the man who currently held his arms in a strong but non-bruising grip.

Blue eyes remained open in shock for the first five – maybe ten – seconds. But suddenly the brunet felt his lids shutter close, pleasure over taking him. But wait – no! No, no, no! This was…this was Dr. Cox!

JD's eyes popped back open, realization over the situation hitting him hard as he began squirming within the older man's grasp. This didn't seem to phase his mentor in the slightest, who currently appeared to be completely and all around oblivious to everything else in the world.

Finally, and not really knowing what else to do, JD screamed as loud as he could without reaching a volume that would undoubtedly wake up his neighbors. "No, no! Dr. Cox! Dr. Cox, STOP IT!"

And just like that, the man in front of him froze, blue eyes snapping open at the sound of his protégés voice. For a moment, all he did was stare; stunned eyes meeting confused ones, the two of them surrounded by nothing but silence. And then, as if touching him actually burned, Perry let go of JD's arms with a start, his eyes just as wide and perplexed as his protégés. "Newbie…I-I'm sorry. I just…I thought…I didn't even realize I was –"

JD shook his head wildly, eyes closed tight. What's happening? What's happening!? "No, Dr. Cox, no! I can't, I…what was that? What's going on!?"

"Newb – JD, please, I –"

"I got rid of this already; I can't!"

"JD, please! I just –"

But before Perry could get another word in edge wise, JD was inside of his apartment, door closed tight. He stayed like that for a while, standing there against the wooden frame. He didn't know exactly when his body had chosen to sit, back still pressed firmly against the door.

What was that? What happened out there?

If this was seven years ago, you'd be doing cart wheels right now.

JD shook his head, a strong urge to cry suddenly coursing through him, but he refrained. Seven years ago…seven years ago, when he was still just a lowly intern, he had laid very wide, very blue, and very admiring eyes on Dr. Cox.

He'd thought nothing of his obsession with the older man at first, quickly turning his attention towards Elliot. She wasn't a replacement or a cover up or anything remotely negative; just someone else he had managed to find himself attracted too. And damn it…it'd been so much easier to allow himself to get drawn to her, because nothing was wrong with that. It was expected. And hell, at least with her, he had a decent shot.

But Dr. Cox? His raging, ranting, mentor?

No way.

So JD had worked very, very hard at ridding himself of his feelings for the curly haired doctor, converting them all into hero worship and the undying need for a mentor. And he'd succeeded too.

Or at least he thought he had.

So what was this? What was happening all of the sudden? Dr. Cox…Dr. Cox liked him? Actually liked him? But just three days ago he was belittling him like he always had. What happened in such a short time span that could've changed his mind? Maybe if there'd been some sort of transition, JD could see; could understand. But now all he felt was bewildered and confused, not to mention horribly guilty for having just slammed the door in his mentor's face.

Oh, God…he really had just gone ahead and done that, hadn't he?

In a wobbly rush, JD stood from his spot on the floor and swung the door open.

Not a doctor in sight.

The young man closed it wearily; half falling, half sitting on the spot in which he'd just gone ahead and stood up from. Maybe it was a good thing he'd already left. After all, if he'd still been standing there, JD would have had no idea what he was supposed to say; how he was supposed to feel.

The brunet was, and had always been, an open book. So forcing himself to get rid of certain feelings for any individual, while not even talking about them with someone, had taken a lot of work on his part. After all that time…was he now expected to bring those emotions back to the surface? To reciprocate? And what if he did? What if, when all was said and done, the only thing that awaited him in the long run was rejection? Not that he wasn't used to rejection, of course, but rejection from Dr. Cox in the form of…in the form of a relationship? A relationship like the one the older man had clearly suggested he wanted? Would he be able to handle that?

JD didn't want to think about it. All he wanted right now was blonde hair and blue eyes and a series of frustrated fricks.

He wanted normalcy.

Quickly, and with little hesitation, JD stumbled towards the phone, dialing his friend's number in a hurry.

"Hello?"

"Elliot! Elliot, hi. Um…can you come over?"

"What? Right now? JD, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just…can you come over?"

A pause. "Now's not really the best time. Are you sure you're okay? I could always –"

"No. No, it's okay. At least tell me we're still on for tomorrow night."

JD could feel rather than see her smile. "Of course we are. And hey! You can tell me all about your night with Dr. Cox then too, alright?"

The brunet just nodded weakly, forgetting that she couldn't see his movement, and hung up the phone.

Still, he needed to talk to someone; anyone. No, scratch that. He needed to talk to the one person he'd always been able to talk to upon meeting him; the person he felt more than just a little guilty for not having confided in when feelings for his mentor first started.

JD picked up the phone once again. He went about dialing the number he was so very used to dialing, speaking out loud as he did so. "916-Call-Tur."

--

Turk, having heard the urgency behind his best friend's voice, came over immediately. Carla had been worried about her Bambi from the part of the conversation she'd heard coming from Turk's end, so when the surgeon asked if his wife could come over as well, JD said it was okay. After all, Carla was one of his best friends too. Not only that, but she'd known Perry longer than anyone else from within their little group. Maybe she'd have some insight on the older man's earlier behavior.

When they arrived, JD silently led them into the living room, causing the married couple to exchange worried glances. No hi? No hugs? Something was most definitely wrong.

JD sat himself down on the couch with a thud, burying his face into the palms of his hands. It was only a moment later when he felt the cushions on both sides of him dip with another's weight, as one of said people started rubbing small, comforting circles into his back.

"What's wrong, Bambi?" Carla asked softly, her hands working magic against JD's tense form.

"…I have to tell you guys something. And Turk…" here JD stopped, removing his hands from his face to look over at his best friend, "I'm sorry that this'll be the first time I'm telling you."

The surgeon nodded, though his brows were creased in a definite line of worry.

JD swallowed; hard. "W-When I was an intern…when I was an intern, I had a crush on Dr. Cox. A big one. But I…I got rid of it. You know…pushed it away. But tonight, um…something happened, and now it…I don't know. I'm really, just…I'm really confused." He waited there, frozen.

What was going to happen now?

He was surprised when Carla's response was a giggle, and even more surprised when Turk's face eased into that of relief. "Dude, that's it? Man, I was a wreck when you called! I thought you were in trouble!"

"I…what?"

"Oh, Bambi, it didn't take much to realize you had a crush on Dr. Cox, but it was clear you didn't want to talk about it. At the time, I had told Turk we should bring it up, but he knew you longer and better than I did back then, and he told me that you were almost always an open person, so that if it was something that bothered you too the point of not talking, then it was best to let it go."

JD turned to Turk then, shocked. "You…you did?"

The surgeon nodded. "It wasn't hard, JD, and you know I gotta sixth sense for that sorta thing. The only part of it that really bothered me was the fact that you thought you couldn't tell me, but, well…I guess part of that's my fault too. You know I get kinda…'uncomfortable,' with the guy on guy thing, but I would never think any less of you dude, you know that."

JD sat there, hoping desperately that the tears he felt coming wouldn't show. He was touched. Beyond touched, really. To think he doubted their acceptance for even a minute. The brunet swallowed before speaking, though that still didn't prevent the small crack in his voice when he began. "T-Thank you. Thanks, guys, really. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Turk, I am. I just –"

The surgeon patted his shoulder lightly. "You don't have to apologize, dude. Just know that you'll always be my V-Bear, alright?"

"Thanks, CB."

The two leaned forward for a hug, in which Carla shed a smile for them both. Still, she was curious about something else he had said. "So what happened, Bambi? You said something else happened tonight…?"

JD pulled away from his Brown Bear before turning to her, flushed. "Yeah, um…Dr. Cox and I went out tonight."

"Oh, Bambi…did you end up telling him you had a crush?"

"I…no. He, um…he kissed me. At the doorway. I kind of freaked out, and…I slammed the door in his face…"

Now the two were stunned; the kind of reaction he had expected from them upon first telling him about his used to (or maybe still present) crush on the older man. "He what?" Turk finally asked.

"He, um…he kissed me. But it was like he didn't even realize he had done it until I said something. But I was just…I was mean, you guys. It wasn't on purpose, I just…I freaked out. I didn't expect it, and I don't know what to think now. I still have feelings for Elliot, and I have no idea what I'm feeling for Dr. Cox anymore. Everything's jumbled and I'm just –"

"Then I wasn't going crazy earlier today."

JD paused in his hectic explanation, he and Turk turning towards Carla in a confused manner. "What?" the brunet asked, clearly perplexed.

"Remember earlier today when Dr. Cox gave you that muffin?"

JD nodded.

"And do you remember your first year here, when Dr. Cox had a crush on me?"

JD nodded again, while Turk silently moped.

"Well, I ended up getting mad at him one day – no surprise there – but then later on he caught up with me in a patient's room and gave me a muffin as a sort of apology. I didn't think too much about it at the time, but looking back… Something like that's big to Dr. Cox, you know? Some guys give roses. Dr. Cox, well…he gives muffins. It's the biggest gesture he can think of without being too expressive romantically."

JD nodded silently, taking it all in. Earlier in the cafeteria, Dr. Cox had presented him with his own form of a romantic gesture, and JD had accepted it eagerly. Still, he'd had no idea that it was anything more than the older man's way of saying sorry.

God, it was all too much and all at once. He needed to think. He needed to calm down. JD, the most social person of them all, needed some alone time. "I'm really glad I have off of work tomorrow," he finally said. "I don't know what I'd do if I ran into Dr. Cox this soon, and it'll give me time to get my emotions in check before I go out with Elliot too."

"Just remember, Bambi, as tough of an act as Dr. Cox puts on, he is still human. If you end up with the conclusion that you don't feel anything for him, you have to tell him honestly. And no matter what happens, even though I know you were just startled, you really do have to apologize to him for slamming the door like that."

JD nodded, the guilt in his stomach growing. "I just panicked. I didn't mean –"

"It's okay, JD. I know. And he probably does too, but once you're ready to see him again, it really ought to be the first thing you say."

"And hey, dude, if it helps, I'll even talk to him for you tomorrow."

The brunet shook his head quickly. While grateful for the surgeon's support, he knew this was something that needed to remain between himself and Perry. "No thanks, Turk, but I appreciate it."

His friend nodded understandingly, patting JD on the back as he did so.

Finally, the doe eyed doctor cleared his throat and stood. "I think I'm going to try and get some sleep, but guys, I…thanks so much. For coming over, for listening, for –"

Turk stood up from the couch as well, wrapping his arms around his closest friend. "You know I got your back, buddy. Just say the word."

JD hugged him back, more than just a little grateful.

After giving the Latina a hug just for her, JD walked them to the door, saying goodnight once again. He was alone now, his mind whirling, and while he knew it would take a while for him to fall asleep, he also knew he had to try.

--

JD paced his apartment, restless. He'd spent the whole day trying to figure out how he was going to talk to Dr. Cox next he saw him, while simultaneously preparing himself for his date – if it could even be called that, since he still had no idea how she felt about him – with Elliot.

Truth be told, he wasn't feeling as frustrated as he normally would have over not knowing how the blonde felt about him. It'd be hypocritical, considering he didn't know how he felt about Dr. Cox.

JD shook his head. He would not, not think about Perry tonight. Tonight was for him and Elliot alone. Nobody else.

The doorbell rang then, causing the brunet to jump in surprise. Breathe, JD, breathe! He walked over quickly and opened it with a smile.

Elliot stood in its frame, sporting jeans that fit just right with a casual baby blue top. She was undeniably beautiful.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, you bet. Where are we going again? You never really said."

"Oh, I just figured we'd go to the usual bar, since we haven't been there for a while. Sound good?"

JD swallowed. No. It didn't sound good. Being in a bar, even a different bar, was automatically going to make him think of last night, which would lead to the memory of him slamming the door in his mentor's face… But Elliot wanted to go there, so… "Sure thing."

Elliot smiled wider, linking her arm in his own as the two headed out for her car.

--

"So anyway, this one patient – oh my God, JD, you really should've been there – he just would not stop talking about his cat. I swear, it was ridiculous. I wanted to punch him right in his fricking mouth."

JD sat on his barstool, doing his best to listen to Elliot's day. It's not that he wasn't interested, but the minute the bartender had brought JD his appletini – assuming he'd want what he always ended up getting – the brunet's mind had instantly wandered to the night before.

Him getting tipsy, which led to him getting handsy, which led to Dr. Cox having to help him to his apartment, which led to the…the kiss, which led to the freak out, which led to the door slam, which –

"JD? Hello?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry Elliot. What were you saying?"

"I was asking if you'd heard anything from Kim at all since you dropped Sammy off last weekend. How is he?"

JD smiled fondly, happy to focus on something that could never fail to cheer him up. "He saw a puppy for the first time when Kim took him to the park the other day. She said the dog was trying to get to him, you know…in a playful way. The owner had it on its leash though, so nothing happened, but she said how the dog made him giggle, and at one point he even reached out; like he was trying to pet it."

"Aw, JD! That's so cute! Looks like someone will be wanting a pet when he's older," she added with a warm expression.

JD nodded, smile still in place. What was wrong with him? Here he was, hanging out with a close friend, who also happened to be a beautiful girl, who was also clearly interested in giving his son a happy future, and yet all he could think about was…

You don't think Dr. Cox would be interested in Sammy's future? Have you not seen him with his kids? Have you not seen him with your kid?

"JD? JD, hello?"

What if he comes in the bar right now and sees you with Elliot? Could you imagine the hurt? Having just had a door slammed in his face to find you here, chatting away?

"JD!"

The blue eyed doctor startled, Elliot's voice snapping him out of his reverie. "Elliot. I'm sorry, I'm just –"

"JD…what's wrong? You've been in your head more than usual tonight."

The doctor took in a long, calming breath. How was he supposed to explain this? "R-Remember when I called you last night?"

A nod.

"I...I did something bad."

Elliot's eyes popped. "Like…illegal bad? Oh my God, JD!"

"No, no, no! Nothing like that. I just…Elliot, I hurt someone's feelings, and I don't mean calling their shirt ugly type of feelings, but emotional feelings. The kind that, you know…make you feel."

The blonde quirked an eyebrow.

"Elliot, I have to go make it right. Before I do anything else, before I can even start figuring out where my feelings are at, I have to go make it right."

A million and one questions were stirring beneath Elliot's gaze, but she nodded sympathetically, if not a little puzzled. "It's okay, JD, really. It's not like we're on a date or anything."

The brunet closed his eyes when Elliot turned to take a sip from her drink. Damn, that stung. Not as much as having a door slammed in your face, I bet. At least she didn't mean anything by it.

"I have to go, Elliot. I have to go now." JD leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. This seemed to startle her at first, but she smiled all the same as she moved to return the gesture.

"We'll hang out soon, alright? Maybe even go potential puppy shopping for Sam."

Elliot's smiled widened at this suggestion as she reached into her pocket for her cell phone. "Looking forward to it!"

After throwing his money on the counter and giving Elliot another quick hug, JD ran out of the bar and towards his mentor's apartment, more than thankful it was within walking distance. Please be home, he thought desperately as he continued his run. And please don't hate me. Please just let me say sorry.

A/N: The lack of Dr. Cox in this chapter bothered me, but it needed to be done in order to get to the next part of the story, so I'm sorry if you missed him in this one. If it makes you feel any better, so did I. lol Anyway, that's about it for now. Until next time!