John Cena now stood in the middle of the ring. He knew this was coming, but he still dreaded it all the same. He had a good idea what was on the list he was about to read, and as he scanned over it, his fears were only confirmed.

He took a deep breath and started to read.

Here is a list I, John Cena am not allowed to do:

1. I am not allowed to make Princess Di jokes in front of Wade Barret.

2. I will not try and dress up fellow members of the Raw roster as members of the Justice League, even though I still think John Morrison would make a great Wonder Women. (John: You're an idiot.)

3. What the Miz and Alex Riley do when they are not in the ring is nobody's business but theirs.

(Alex: You guys are freaking sick!

Randy: Well, maybe if you two didn't make it so damn easy for us, this wouldn't be happening!

::general murmurs of agreement::)

4. I will stop suggesting that Heath Slater's entrance music should be the latest Wendy's jingle, and Sheamus' entrance music should not be the "Fire Crotch Song."

5. The Championship belts are not made of candy, and it is wrong to tell rookies that they are.

6. I am not allowed to bring a can of whoop ass into the locker room areas, even if I did bring enough for every one.

7. The "voices" in Randy Orton's head are not actual people, and therefore are not to be considered tag team partners in any given match.

8. We are after Sheamus' belt, not his lucky charms.

9. Lay Cool will not melt if water is thrown on them.

10. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty between Raw and Smackdown.

11. Paint ball is not, and never will be, a legitimate match stipulation.

12. I am not allowed to insinuate that Micheal Cole does "anything else" on the GM's computer.

13. If an idea to do something to the Nexus makes me chuckle for more than 15 seconds, I am to assume that this action will get me suspended.

14. Underwear is not optional.

15. Baby oil is.

16. I am not authorized to do bag checks in the diva's locker room.

17. I am not allowed to have an allergic reaction to bad ref calls.

18. Demonic possession is not an excuse for anything.

19. This is not Sparta.

"Well, that was a huge waste of my time," John muttered to himself as he left the ring. "I wonder whose next, though"

"Edge, you're up."

"Well, this should be worth sticking around for," John said loudly enough for the other man to hear as he got his own list...

A/N: Yay! My John C. muse has returned to me.

John C. muse: Yeah, well...I guess I can't stay too mad at you. That was fun to do.

Randy muse: Thank God all that is over...

Miz muse: No kidding. The violence is over.