Disclaimer: Everyone knows that I don't own the series, and if someone really wants to sue me, they'll do so regardless of what I write here, so why bother?

Warnings: Shounen ai, weirdness

Author's Notes: A lull in the quarter (which, believe me, is a very rare thing) has prompted the return of the muse. I wanted to work on "Solstice" some more, since my goal was to finish it before the end of January (that's not going to happen, but it was a nice thought). However, the muse decided she'd rather work on this one instead.

A Subterfuge of Sorts

By Rapunzel

Chapter 4: Who's Midori-chan?

The next morning, Ken dug around in his dresser, trying to find loose clothes. He was hoping that they would hide his figure from the fangirls in the shop. After some consideration, he had decided that Aya's suggestion about not talking, while meanly put, was probably the only way to go if he didn't want the girls to notice his sex change. Hopefully if he dressed correctly and stayed in the back or worked on special orders so he wouldn't interact with them directly, he could get away with it. Granted it was not a solution that would work long term, but then Ken kept on telling himself that his new "condition" was purely temporary. He had to believe that, or he would totally lose it.

Omi and Aya were already down in the shop getting ready to open when he arrived. Ken took his apron off its hook and tied it on as loosely as possible. The last thing he needed was to emphasize his narrower waist. Before either of the other two could assign him a task that would put him out in the front part of the shop, he grabbed the stack of backlogged orders and resolutely sat himself down behind the counter to work on them. Aya noticed and quirked an eyebrow at this odd behavior, but said nothing.

All too soon for Ken's liking, the shop opened and dozens of girls poured in for the pre-school rush. Ken held his ground and tried to ignore them all, letting Aya and Omi deal with noisy teenagers while he arranged flowers and wrapped bouquets. He felt a little badly for marooning the two of them in the sea of fangirls, especially since Youji hadn't shown up for his shift yet and they could have used the help. However, guilt took a back seat to the need to preserve his secret, and he stayed where he was.

Finally there came a brief lull, during which Aya stalked off with an almost inarticulate growl about finding Youji and kicking his lazy ass. He went to fetch their errant coworker, and poor Omi was left to handle the few remaining customers alone. Fortunately, for reasons known only to themselves, most of the fangirls had dispersed by then, despite the fact that they still had a little time left before school started. Omi was helpfully pointing out flowers to the few remaining girls when Ken's fears came true.

"Ken-san's being awfully quiet today," one of the girls remarked to Omi. "Is he feeling well?"

"Er... no, he's not. He's sick," Omi said hastily.

'Tell them I've lost my voice so I won't have to talk to them,' Ken silently willed. However, as he was not a telepath, his wish went unnoticed by Omi.

Another girl paused to survey Ken, and then said in surprise, "That's not Ken-san."

Ken cursed luridly under his breath.

"Don't be silly," the first girl said, laughing a little. "Of course it is."

"No it's not," the second insisted. "It's a girl. Look."

'Shit!' Ken thought. What had given him away? He hadn't spoken, so it couldn't have been his voice. The hips, he finally concluded, it had to be the hips.

"You're right!" the first girl said, her voice tinged with surprise. "Ne, Omi-kun, who is that girl? She looks just like Ken-san."

"Uh... that's because she's... uh... his sister! Yes, that's Ken-kun's twin sister," Omi explained, trying to sound convincing.

"Eh? I didn't know Ken-san had a twin sister."

'That's because I don't!' Ken thought furiously. Oh, Omi was going to be in so much trouble for this. Why oh why couldn't he have just skipped work today?

"Oh, well, she doesn't live around here," Omi said, sounding more sure of himself. "But she came to visit because she heard that Ken-kun was sick, and since he can't work in the shop just now, she agreed to take over his shifts for him to help us out. It was very nice of her, really."

Another girl who had just joined the conversation let out a forlorn wail. "Ken-san's sick? Is it very bad? It must be bad if his sister came from far away because of it. Omi-kun, is he going to be okay?"

"Oh, don't worry," Omi said sounding very reassuring. "He'll be all right, he just needs to rest and take some time off for a while."

'I need to get away from you guys,' Ken thought irritably. While he was a little touched that they were worried for him, he was even more annoyed. Now he was supposed to be his own twin sister? What the hell was Omi thinking? There was no way anyone was going to buy this one.

"Hey, why is she wearing Ken-san's clothes?" one girl asked, and Ken suddenly found himself regretting his choice of wardrobe for the morning. Still, it wasn't as if he had anything to wear other than his own clothes.

"Huh? Oh, yes! Well, you see, when we called her to tell her about her brother, I think we made it sound worse than it was. She ended up leaving in such a hurry that she forgot to pack any luggage. So now she has to wear her brother's clothes until she can get some new ones."

"She'll probably want to get some soon," a girl remarked. "Those ones are way too big on her."

"We should take her shopping with us!" another girl suggested, and murmurs of enthusiastic assent were given in response.

'No, no, no, no, no!' Ken chanted silently in his head. There was no way he wanted to go clothes shopping with that bunch. Who knew what torments and humiliations they would subject him to? They would make him put on all sorts of cute and girly things to the utter ruin of his masculinity. Well, whatever was left of it.

Fortunately, it seemed that even Omi had an ounce of sympathy left for his plight. "Actually, I think she had plans to go shopping out on her own later, but I'm sure she appreciates the thought."

"What's her name?"

"Her name?" Omi repeated, seeming to draw a blank for a moment. Ken listened attentively while trying to appear not to be doing so, as Omi finally gather his wits together and said, "Her name is Midori."

'Midori?' Ken thought sourly. 'Where the hell did he get that one from?'

However, once the name was said, he couldn't very well contradict it, and so he had to smile politely when one of the girls drifted over to say hello to "Midori-chan, the new arrival." He even had to grit his teeth and try to make small talk with her so as not to be rude. He had never been more relieved in his life to see them finally filter out and get ready to head off to school.

"Midori-chan really does look a lot like Ken-san," one of them remarked as they were leaving.

"It must be because they're twins," another said. "They don't sound at all alike though."

Then the door closed behind them, and Ken turned menacingly on Omi. "So, I'm Midori-chan now, am I?" he asked dangerously.

"Er... Ken-kun, please don't be mad. I had to tell them something once they noticed, and it was the most plausible thing I could think of. I'm sorry if you don't like the name."

"I don't like the name, and I don't like the whole idea!" Ken yelled. "They all think I'm a girl now!"

"But Ken-kun," Omi pointed out a little timidly. "You are a girl now."

The inarticulate growl of rage Ken let out sent Omi hurrying from the shop, muttering something about being late for school. Ken kicked the table violently as the door shut behind him.

"Don't damage the furniture."

Ken jumped, having not heard Aya come back into the shop. Yet when he turned, the redhead was standing behind him, giving him a mildly inquiring look.

Ken didn't hesitate to spill his story. "Do you know what Omi told the girls in the shop? He told them that I'm my own twin sister visiting my brother because he's sick, and that my name is Midori!"

"Did they believe it?" Aya asked.

"Yes," Ken said bitterly. "They even bought the part about me forgetting my luggage in my hurry to get here and having to wear my brother's clothes. They wanted to take me clothes shopping! Clothes shopping!"

"That's good," Aya said simply. "It'll save us the trouble of having to come up with another cover story."

Ken stared at him in astonishment before repeating, "Good? Good? You call this good? You're not the one who almost got asked to go try on skirts with that pack of harpies!"

"Ken," Aya said coldly, "shut up. You're being irrational. We'd have had to tell them something, and this works as well as anything else. Would you rather try telling them the truth and seeing how they react to that?"

"But they think I'm a girl now!" Ken wailed.

Aya just looked at him with one eyebrow raised, as if telling Ken that he was indeed a girl now, as Omi had done, would be stating a fact too obvious to mention.

The door to the back of the shop opened then, and Youji came stumbling in, looking less than awake. "What's all the fuss about?" he asked grumpily. "And what the hell am I doing out of bed this early? You're a freaking slave driver, you know that, Aya?"

"If the rest of us have to work this early, so do you," Ken snapped, having absolutely no sympathy left for his coworker.

"Well, someone's in a bad mood this morning," Youji remarked, eyeing Ken. "What's a matter, Kenken, get up on the wrong side of bed?"

"It's Midori now," Aya corrected him.

Youji raised his eyebrows, and Ken turned on Aya and snapped, "Oh, not you too!"

"If we don't want them to find out, we have to stick to the story," Aya said firmly. "From now on, whenever you are working in the shop, we shall address you as Midori."

"No fucking way!" Ken yelled. "I do not want to be called Midori!"

"Why not?" Youji asked. "Midori's a nice name. I think I've dated at least one girl by that name."

"I hate you all!" Ken cried vehemently.

"You're being irrational," Aya said, sounding as though he were getting ready to lose his temper. "Now shut up, calm down, and get back to work!"

When faced with Aya's glare and angry tones, Ken found that he had little choice but to shut his mouth and go back to his seat to work on the orders.

"And don't forget we have to do the deliveries later, Midori-chan," Youji called after him.

Ken squeezed the tulip in his hand until it became an unrecognizable pulpy mass, but said nothing.

/-/-/-/

Fortunately for Ken, the day went by fairly uneventfully, and there weren't many customers, which meant that he didn't have to get referred to as Midori-chan too often. Well, at least not by Aya, who recognized Ken's disapproval of the name and the concept that went with it. Youji, however, seemed to be having quite a lot of fun tormenting his teammate by calling him Midori-chan as often as he could. It got to the point where Ken seemed to be putting most of his concentration into not killing Youji, and consequently got very little work done. Aya wondered if he should intervene, but decided that it would be difficult to do so, since he was the one who had come up with the rule of calling Ken by that name in the shop.

Aya wasn't quite sure what to do about Ken's angry outbursts. He realized that Ken's hatred of the name stemmed more from his hatred of the condition it represented, and not because he necessarily thought Midori was a bad name. However, the condition was harder to alter, and Aya reminded Ken that he had no choice but to put up with it until they could get back and fix things. Ken simply growled at him incoherently, and Aya decided that maybe the best option was simply to sit back and let him cool down a little.

It seemed that Ken was not allowed to be left in peace, however, for shortly after they reopened after lunch, an unexpected visitor arrived.

"Manx," Ken said, looking up from his work in surprise at the newly arrived redhead.

"Hello, boys," Manx said, her heels clicking on the hard floor as she walked into the shop. "Or, should I say, boys and girl."

Ken scowled at her.

"Hello, gorgeous," Youji greeted her cheerfully. "Come to pay me a visit? I knew you couldn't stay away for long."

Manx simply ignored him as she always did. She seemed more intent on Ken at that moment anyway.

"Is there a mission?" Aya asked her, quick to get to the point. He noticed that Ken was squirming a bit under her scrutiny.

"Hm? A mission? Oh no," Manx said. "It's nothing of that sort. It's just that we read Bombay's report last night and some of the things in it were... intriguing, to say the least. Persia had a bit of a hard time believing it, and so he sent me to check and make sure. Not that we think Bombay would ever give us false information," she added, "but we thought you boys might be playing a bit of a trick on him."

"I wish it was a trick," Ken muttered gloomily. "But no. So now you've seen, and if you don't have a mission to give us, you can go now and tell Persia that we aren't pulling his leg."

Manx, however, refuse to be dismissed so easily. "Actually, that's only part of the reason I'm here. You see, Bombay contacted me on his way to school this morning and suggested that you might be in need of my help."

"Your help?" Ken repeated, confused.

"Yes. He mentioned something about clothes shopping."

Aya waited for the explosion and was not disappointed. Ken shot up from his chair as though someone had put pins on the seat and yelped, "Clothes shopping?"

"That's right," Manx said, completely unperturbed by his reaction. "Now that you're pretending to be a female, you'll need a new wardrobe to go with the persona."

Ken seemed to calm down a little, probably mollified by her use of the word pretending. Still, he demanded, "But why should you bother with that?"

"Well," Manx said reasonably, "do you know of any other women who can offer you their advice on the subject? I refuse to send you out alone; you'd simply come back with more clothes like the ones you have now. I think that I'm the best person to supervise this trip, don't you agree? Of course, I suppose the alternative would be letting Youji do it, since he is probably the most fashion savvy of the four of you."

Ken cast a glance at Youji, who winked back at him. Gulping, he turned back to Manx and said, "No, that's okay. I'll go with you. I wouldn't want to end up dressed like a party girl or a slut."

"Hey," Youji said, mildly irritated by the comment. "Have a little faith in me, would you? Besides, I don't know why you think Manx is going to be any better; just look at how short her skirt is."

Manx ignored him. "So it's settled then," she said. "In that case, why don't we go now?"

"Now?" Ken repeated.

"Well, yes," Manx said. "I can't spend too long on this. I do have work I need to get done, after all. So anytime you're ready..."

Ken obviously wasn't ready. He looked as though he'd just been sentenced to death. Quickly, he turned to Aya and said, "Aya? Come with me, please?"

"Me?" Aya frowned at him in surprise. Why on earth would Ken want him to accompany them?

"Please?" Ken begged. "I can't stand up to her alone, and she'll put me in skirts, I know she will. Please?"

Aya knew he should say no. There was no particular reason why he should need to accompany them. He hadn't helped purchase women's clothing since Aya-chan had been put into a coma, and he'd known little enough on the subject then. It made no sense for Ken to ask him, and yet he looked so desperate. He was gazing up at Aya imploringly and seemed to be genuinely worried about what would happen if he were left alone with Manx.

He was using the puppy eyes.

Damn.

"Manx," Aya said, "wait until Omi gets back from school, and I'll go with you."

Manx frowned at him. "That won't be necessary."

"I think it is," Aya said.

"Oh? Why?"

Aya just stared at her and didn't answer. Truth be told, his reasoning didn't extend much beyond, "Because Ken wants me to."

Finally, Manx backed down. "I suppose I can wait that long. But don't think you're going to get out of this," she said, fixing Ken with a stern look.

Ken just gave her a wide eyed look and shook his head.

"Well, I suppose it's not that much trouble then. And after all, it might be useful to have a man there to carry things," Manx mused.

Aya felt like groaning aloud. What the hell had he just agreed to?

Tbc...

Author's Notes: So now I get to torture Ken and Aya. But I guess that was kind of a prerequisite for the whole fic.