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My dad is actually a pretty mellow person. I can count on one hand the number of times he's gotten really angry. And when I say really angry, I mean really angry. Swearing, red face, and everything.
"You're what!?" He hissed, his face starting to turn a bright red.
"I'm pregnant," I stated, looking down on the floor, feeling Nate squeeze my hand.
Maybe if I told him that I had been raped, he wouldn't be so hard on me. Alright, so technically I wasn't raped, but it was close enough.
I glanced up to see that his face was starting to turn a nice shade of dark red. "Shit. Caitlyn, how could you do this!?"
I bit down on my lip, praying that he wouldn't smack me or something. "It was an accident-"
"How is it an accident? You accidentally decided to have sex? You accidentally forgot to use a condom?" He shook his head. "Whose child is it?" He asked, glaring at Nate.
"Well, um, you see I-"
"It's mine," I whipped my head around, staring at Nate in awe, my jaw probably touching the floor.
"The baby is Nate's?" My father asked a confused expression on his face. I mean, me and Nate are close, but I've never thought of him like that.
"Yes, sir," Nate replied, swallowing. "And I'm really sorry, it's just that… Things got a little out of hand one day and…"
"Are you even going out?"
"No…" I said slowly, going along with Nate's plan. I wasn't even sure what the reason for his lying was, but I might as well play along.
My dad shook his head, his face slightly less red. "I'm very disappointed in you, Caitlyn," He said sternly, locking eyes with me.
"I know. It was stupid, and foolish, and I'm going to take full responsibility of this child, and I'm really, really sorry Dad…"
"I should have known this was coming…" He said, sucking in a breath of air. "Alright. I guess we'll have to set up a doctor's appointment or something. God, I haven't had to go through this since you were born,"
I shrugged sheepishly, glad my father hadn't reacted that badly. He'd actually taken it better than I had thought he would. Maybe it was the fact that the baby was "Nate's". My dad had always liked Nate, I guess he was just surprised. Nate didn't seem like the type of guy to have sex before he was married. He was just a nerd like that.
"Well, I'm just going to go upstairs I guess…" I said slowly, inching towards the stairs. My father said nothing, just sitting there and shaking his head silently. I grabbed Nate's hand, escaping back up to my room.
"What the hell did you do down there, Nate!?" I asked once we'd reached the privacy of my room.
"I thought maybe he'd go easier on you if he thought it was mine,"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I think he probably would have been less upset if he knew that I was raped,"
"You weren't raped," Nate pointed out, crossing his arms across his chest. "You went to a party, let yourself get drunk, and then let some guy fuck you. Like a date rape, I guess. Getting raped is when some guy jumps you in a dark alleyway,"
I scowled. How did that little purity ring pipsqueak know about rape anyway? "Whatever. But when my dad figures out that the kid isn't yours, he's gonna be ever angrier," I said.
"I was just trying to protect you,"
"Protect me from what!?"
Nate looked up at me, staring at me intensely. "If you told your dad that you were "raped", then he would go to the police and there would be a whole police investigation. You'd get a whole bunch of people involved, and he'd probably make you get an abortion. Do you really want that? Because if you do, I'll go down there right now and tell your dad that you were date raped,"
I was quiet. Nate actually did have a point. "But what happens if he finds out that the baby isn't yours?" I asked quietly.
Nate's feature's softened. "I don't know. We'll worry about it when the time comes, okay Caity?"
I nodded, sinking down onto my bed. "Hey, Nate?"
"Yes, Caitlyn?"
"Do you really think about me like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like someone you love and wanted to have sex with?"
Nate hesitated for a moment before answering. "No. You're my best friend, Caitlyn. You're like a sister to me,"
I nodded, flopping back onto the comforter, staring up at the ceiling and avoiding eye contact with Nate. "Well, thanks Nate. For being here for me and helping me and protecting me,"
"Anytime, Caitlyn," He said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. Someone things didn't look as terrible with Nate.
"I doubt it'd be good for the baby too." He added as an afterthought. "You know, the stress with the police and stuff."
I looked up and him, confused.
"Why didn't you just let him hate me for letting myself be raped? Like you said, it's my own fault." I asked. I didn't ask it out of anger – just curiosity. He didn't have to help me with this, after all.
"Because you're my best friend, Caity. Besides, just because you made a mistake it doesn't mean I hate you. I'll help you through this – everyone will. This baby will be awesome." He smiled genuinely and I felt much better.
"It won't be awesome if it becomes a jerk like his daddy." I mumbled so Nate wouldn't hear me.
After a few moments of silence I felt the bed dip slightly. I sat up so that Nate would have more room.
"I'm sorry if I scared you earlier." I said softly, embarrassed about my breakdown.
"It's okay. You know I'd do anything for you." He said with a smile.
Awkward.
Sure, Nate and I were close but I didn't want to get extremely attached to him. Especially when I was pregnant and my emotions were all over the place. Because what if I accidently did something very stupid like jump him? Or ask him to be the baby's father or something? Oh no, was I giving that impression? I couldn't do that. Not to myself, not to Nate and especially not to this baby.
I didn't want this baby. At all. I wanted to put it up for adoption and never see it or contact it again. I didn't want this baby to have a mother that couldn't support it. I didn't want this baby to grow up with a mother that was only sixteen years older than he or she. I wanted the baby to grow up with loving and happy parents and never know about me, the sixteen year old who is obviously irresponsible.
Oh god, I'm like Juno.
Besides, I didn't see Nate as more than a best friend – even a twin brother.
"So what are you going to do with the baby?" He asked, his brown eyes searching my face.
"Adoption." I answered firmly, nodding. He wasn't about to change my mind. I was not keeping this baby. I'd have to drop out of school, not be able to get a job and then unable to provide for the baby. Plus, the issue with the father. What would I do when the little child asked me where their daddy was?
'Oh, honey, I've not seen him since you were growing in my stomach."
Yeah, that would go down well.
"Are you sure, Caity?" He asked. Just like I'd expected.
"Yes. Please, don't try to talk me out of this. I've been thinking about it for a while and I know that keeping the baby would not be best – for me, the child or my family." I tried to sound firm but my voice wavered slightly.
"I just want you to know that this could cause complications in the future." Nate said with a sigh.
"Like what? If I make sure the parents that adopt the kid never tell he or she about the adoption then it'll be fine." I said, though I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince Nate or myself.
"It isn't that easy, Caitlyn."
"What are you, my father? This is my child and I'm doing what I think is best. Now get out of my damn room before I throw you out the window." I stood up, crossing my arms.
"Caity I was just-"
"Get out. I don't want to speak to you." I said firmly, nodding in the direction of the door.
Nate gave me an odd look, though he stood up and headed outside, turning and locking eyes with me one last time before shutting the door.
I wasn't sure what to do. Nate didn't deserve my bitchiness; he was only trying to help. I sighed, glad that I didn't burst into even more tears. I'd cried enough for one day.
I collapsed on my bed, my hands cradling my stomach that in a few months would be bloated. I couldn't believe I'd got myself into this mess.
Thanks again! :D Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
