Disclaimer: Neither I nor Higitsune own Vampire Knight or Harry Potter. If we did, Ginny wouldn't have survive the Chamber of Secrets debacle.(Neither would Ron, because he's just annoying.)

WARNING WARNING THIS IS A CRACK FIC

This fanfiction is a collaboration between myself and my Beta, Higitsune. Thank you, Higitsune!


Harry looked up, hearing the furious mutters approach that tended to signify Hermione on one of her rants about S.P.E.W or, lately, the new teacher. Ron cut off in mid-sentence, having been loudly informing most of the Gryffindor common room of the latest rumours about the transfer students. He braced himself, recognising her expression to be the one that signified Mt. Hermione was preparing to erupt.

"I can't believ- The nerve of that, that... Teacher! He – and one of the students – and they were so rude! I'd rather deal with Snape than set foot in a room with either of them. I can't believe – just – those…" She turned around slowly, sensing the eyes of the majority of Gryffindor upon her, before rallying her courage. "What?"

Fred (or possibly George, or possibly George but really Fred, or possibly Fred but really George) grinned, a sharks grin filled with malicious glee and evil intentions

"So – "he began, joined by his twin (who may have been Fred, or perhaps he was George)

"Our wonderful -"

"Brilliant – "

"Perfect – "

"Prefect – "

"Tell us -"

"What has - "

"You, our beloved – "

"Leader of Lions -"

"In such a – "

"State?"

She gaped, head turning to track their back and forward method of conversation, settling on George (who she believed might be Fred but accepted he was likely George) before scowling.

"And you! What is the meaning of these notices? Advertising for First Years to test those… experiments of yours on?"

"Hermione! Don't change the subject – what happened?" Ron glared at his brothers and moved in between them. Harry and Fred (although he thought that he might have been George or perhaps it was Fred – he really couldn't tell the difference.) exchanged a long suffering look, commiserating about Ron and his lacking sense of timing. Lavender Brown and the Gryffindor Gossip Chain encircled the group, figurative tails wagging as they salivated over continuing drama of the Golden Trio.

"It's nothing – really Ron, I'm going to the library, I need to research something…"

"We'll come with you, Hermione!" Lavender barked, cutting Hermione off as she attempted to slip through the portrait that hid the Gryffindor Common Room.

They were interrupted as the Fat Lady swung open, leaving two transfer student from Cross Academy standing, the shorter student with his hand raised as if to knock while a tall blond stood behind him, glancing over his shoulder. "Excuse me, but I was told we could ask for a tour of the school after classes ended and Professor McGonagall told me to ask for a Miss Hermione Granger? The Professor said she was the Gryffindor prefect and that we should try here or the library…"

Hermione leapt at the chance, darting through the portrait and slamming it shut, cutting off the explosion of noise that followed. "That would be me. And we should probably move fairly quickly before the rest of them get out – Lavender and her hounds want gossip. Also, I think you may have just gained new fan girls."

The redhead sighed, striding forward, dragging the one of the blond boys (who appeared torn at the mention of fan girls, as if he couldn't decide whether to stay or go) in his wake, joining her in a fast walk (She was a Gryffindor. She would not run in fear… even if she wanted to.)

"So, where would you like to see?" She asked them, leading them down a side passage that apparently warped space and came out in the vicinity of the Great Hall. It was as good a place to start as any.

"Oh! Senrei-san mentioned the library earlier – he was hiding in there from Zero-kun. I don't think it worked out so well though… he looked kind of pale at lunch." The blond haired boy bounded enthusiastically after her as she used a passage that was hidden behind a tapestry that brought them closer to the library, his red-headed friend looking somewhat disturbed at the distance covered by going through a single doorway.

"Hanabusa *, one of these days Yuki-sama won't hold Kiryuuu-san from murdering you when you imply things like that. Besides, I think it was just that he was terrified. Rima-san was making sure he ate." The red head pushed the tapestry aside and shuddered, disquieted by having to step through what had appeared to be a solid stone wall until the blond (Hanabusa? It sounded Japanese…) had shoved his hand through the illusion. The blond continued to drag him up the twisting flight of stairs after their guide who opened a door that, once they had stepped into the corridor, had been covered by a painting that began to scold them.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to butt in to your conversation like this but… what happened? Is everyone alright?" Hermione questioned, wondering if the transfers were quite… sane. Honestly, a student murdering another student for a few comments? Surely that couldn't be correct. No-one at Hogwarts would do that… not even Malfoy. Well, probably not. Unless it was Harry.

"Senrei-san said the wrong thing earlier this morning and Kiryuuu-san took exception to it. Senrei-san isn't hurt, just a little shaken. Knowing Kiryuuu-san, he'll probably let Senrei-san off the hook by tomorrow. If not, Rima-san will have to break the news to Senrei-san's mother." The redheaded student seemed calm

"Yeah, if Senrei-san's managed to get him that angry then we'll be finding dust in the dorm room and our beds tomorrow morning. Yuki-sama might be a bit annoyed, but she lets Zero-kun get away with everything. Well, so long as he has a semi-valid reason."

"Sorry, but who are you talking about?"

"Yuki-sama is our dorm president. Kiryuuu Zero-san is our head of the disciplinary commission. Senrei-san is one of our classmates."

"And this Zero, is he… somewhat… well, that is…"

"Angry, rude, mean, crazy, a jerk, scary, insane… take your pick. Trust me, we won't be offended – he's no friend of ours. Kiryuuu-kun isn't the sort of person you cross lightly though. He tends to teeter on the edge of insanity and we prefer it if he doesn't go down there. They still haven't gotten the blood stains out of the dorm room."

"What happened?"

"He tried to kill himself and everyone who tried to stop him. Not that we were trying very hard…"

"But… why would he do something like that?"

"He hates himself. It's not that uncommon, but I guess with a guilt complex like his… plus what happened with his brother, I'm not that surprised."

"Hanabusa, stop gossiping. You know what will happen if this sort of talk gets back to Yuki-sama or Yagari-sensei. I don't like to think of what would happen to you if Kiryuuu-san heard of it."

"Relax, Kain-san, I'll be fine. Kiryuuu-kun's probably passed out in a corner with his favourite knife and some books. Did you know that he has glasses, Kain-san? Sad thing is, he looks better in glasses than I do - it's not fair!"

"A knife!"

"It was confiscated before he left, but he probably pickpocketed Yagari-sensei on the way over. He's a bit of a delinquent, after all."

"But you said he was the head of the disciplinary committee!"

"The Headmaster's his adoptive father. He's been trying to convince Zero not to hate him. It's not working."

"It wouldn't have worked anyway. You know what he thinks of the Headmaster's… associates. Besides that, I think the only way anyone is going to get into Zero's good books is resurrecting Ichirou. And while I may know a few people with talent in Necromancy, they categorically refuse any jobs with the name Kiryuuu attached."

"With his parents reputation? I'm not surprised. But you actually asked them? Why?"

"I thought if Zero was distracted by his brother, things would be a bit quieter."

"Kain-san, Zero's the nice twin. And you saw Yagari-sensei's face when the Kiryuuu twins were in the same building. Now imagine them in the same building as us, working together to… uh, prank us."

"So, they're your schools version of the Weasley twins?"

"Who's that?"

"Pranksters. Don't touch anything they give you. They were talking about snack boxes or something similar earlier, and last year they had Canary Creams – it would turn you into a human sized canary for ten minutes. It's utterly irresponsible of them, really."

"Sort of. Just imagine them being ten times worse. Trust me, if they hadn't hated each other the school probably wouldn't be standing any longer. My name's Aido Hanabusa, call me Aido, by the way – can you show us to the kitchens?" Aido laughed, rubbing the back of his head. He grabbed Kain's hand and tugged him forward, skipping a little. Kain had a vaguely pained look on his face, as if he really wanted Aido to let go NOW, thank you very much, they were in PUBLIC.

Hermione gaped at the pair, wondering how bad it could have been for such a thing to even be thought of. She was certain that whoever this Zero Kiryuuu person was, she'd have to keep a close eye on him as Prefect of Gryffindor House.

A delinquent who threatened his schoolmates – no doubt he'd be joining Malfoy and his lot at the Slytherin table. She suspected that this may have been the rude boy from earlier, who had sent her to fetch Professor Yagari. From what these two had told her, he was probably faking any injury for attention or some such, like Malfoy did with Buckbeak in Third Year.

And if this Zero was the good twin, then the other had probably been expelled for his behaviour. She wouldn't be surprised if they were Death Eaters – wait, hadn't Kain said something about associates? Who did they mean by that? What if they meant V-vol… she took a deep breath before deciding to use the easier name of You-Know-Who.

Wait, had they mentioned Necromancy? What if they had been involved in You-Know-Who's return at the end of last year?

She had to get back and tell Harry about this. She led them to the kitchens, then back to their dorm, and returned to the Gryffindor Common Room, mind turning over the information she'd gathered that day. This was clearly another plot to hurt Harry. There'd been one every year since they began Hogwarts, excluding third year. She barely even noticed the barrage of questions as she entered, heading up to Harry and Ron's dorm to think and attempt to form a coherent theory as to what the heck was going on with the transfer students.


Hey Please review it is really nice to have people comment on our work

and Constructive criticism