I apologize in advance for how quickly things in this story progress. I didn't have enough material to make things drag on and on. Love you guys.
I do not own Pretty Little Liars.
Chapter Four
Spencer stood stunned for a moment, staring in shock at the scene before her, before her brain finally caught up.
"I-I'm so sorry." she managed to stammer before turning on her heel and heading back the way she came.
"Wait, Spence!" Emily called, pushing open the door and rushing after her to grab her arm.
The laughter from the main living area drowned out their conversation, and Spencer finally felt the shock wearing off to be replaced with another emotion—anger.
"What the hell is going on!?" she snapped at her panicked friend, glaring from her to the embarrassed green-eyed brunette behind her.
"Look, we wanted to tell you… we just didn't know how or when. We wanted to see how things went first, to figure out if it was serious or not…"
Spencer crossed her arms and stepped closer, glancing back to make sure no one was coming down the hall. "It looks pretty damn serious to me. Now start explaining. When did you two get together? HOW did you two get together?"
This wasn't making any sense. Emily working for Jenna was one thing. Emily befriending Jenna was one thing. But Emily dating Jenna? And since when was Jenna, well, into girls?!
"We started spending a lot of time together." Jenna piped up, glancing to the floor awkwardly before meeting her gaze. "Working late, going to movies, spending time at each others places… my—our—feelings grew."
"What happened to that cop?" Spencer asked her directly.
Jenna sighed. "We only went on a few dates. It didn't turn into much. I broke it off when Emily started working for me."
"How long has this been going on?"
Emily glanced at Jenna. "A couple weeks."
Spencer was shaking her head in disbelief.
"Spence, you don't understand—"
"You're DAMN RIGHT I don't understand!" she shouted, before remembering that she was trying to be quiet so no one else would stumble upon their group meeting. She exhaled before continuing in a hushed heated whisper. "Emily, you need to understand what you're getting into here. You need to understand what she's done."
"I told her." Jenna inputted. "I told her about what I did to Toby."
Emily was looking at Spencer with her big brown eyes of innocence and trust, and Spencer felt her anger dissipate just a teensy bit. She knew it wasn't fair of her to assume that Emily didn't have good judgment—she had grown a backbone after she had come out in high school. She stopped being so naïve but she still saw the good in people long before she spotted the bad. And as much as Spencer knew that Jenna had come a long way from who she had been, she also still felt she was justified to feel wary about her.
"Spencer… please. I… I've never felt this way about someone before." Jenna said seriously, her eyes shining, and Emily looked at her in surprise. She clearly hadn't been told that before. "We didn't want to keep this from you, from anyone, but it's still all new and I'm trying really, really hard not to mess it up."
Spencer ran a hand through her hair, sighing heavily.
"Look. I can't say I'm happy about this. But if you two are serious about it, it's not my business to stand in the way. I… This is a lot to take in, okay? If you guys don't want a big audience, at least let me try to sneak Toby away—"
"No! You can't!" Jenna squeaked, and she wasn't the only one who looked panicked.
Spencer groaned exasperatedly.
"You cannot ask me to—"
"Please, Spencer?" It was Emily now. "Not tonight. We need some time to figure out how to tell him, in the right way. He can't hear about it like this. He won't understand, and it's a lot for him to digest. Let us figure out a better time, a better way, to tell him. Please?"
"Don't ask me to lie to him." Spencer said, shaking her head. "I can't lie to Toby."
She shoved the bigger lie she was keeping from him and everyone else to the side of her mind, ignoring that obstacle for now. But even considering it, did she really want to add another lie to the mix?
"Spencer, please. You'll shatter his good mood and everything will blow up. Not tonight. Soon. I promise. And you won't be lying… you just won't be telling him something. And really, it's not yours to tell." the swimmer added quickly.
Spencer shook her head, not wanting to listen anymore, but knowing she was stuck. Did she stay loyal to her lifelong best friend or her fiancée? When it came to Jenna, did she have an obligation to tell him? Did getting married mean she had an obligation to always tell him everything? And Spencer knew how much Toby had grown to care for Emily, having grown closer to her out of Spencer's three best friends. Emily had even stayed with Toby for a few days during her huge rough patch with Maya. If he found out his ex-abuser was dating his good friend… well, there was no telling how he'd react.
Toby had been the one to instigate forgiving Jenna and moving past their disturbing past, but he also wasn't forgetting it. Spencer knew this would be a huge pill to swallow.
"I will not keep this a secret for long. Me and Toby don't do secrets and I'm not looking to start with something this big, okay? So figure your shit out." she said, a little more bitterly than she meant to, and she headed back to the party without another glance their way.
Spencer managed to plaster on a fake smile for the rest of the evening, thanking Aria once again for hosting the event at her place and expressing her appreciation to each of the guests for attending the celebration of sorts.
When Emily hugged her goodbye, extra tight, Spencer melted into the embrace with a sigh. It was really hard to be mad at Emily. And she knew that what she was asking was probably a fair request. Spencer just didn't fancy being caught in the middle.
Toby was oblivious to Spencer's guilty conscience as they made their way back to the loft, Minin greeting them enthusiastically at the door.
"I think I'm going to shower." Spencer told him, sending a quick smile in his direction before discarding her coat and heading to their shared room.
"Want company?" he asked slyly, his hand catching hers.
She slipped hers away almost instantly. "I think it'll be more efficient if I go alone."
His face fell a little bit, surprised by her rebuff, and she corrected her throat.
"But… I shouldn't be too long. Don't fall asleep on me." she warned playfully, leaning up to kiss him quickly before closing the bathroom door behind her.
Toby shook off the tiny bit of rejection he had felt and got ready for bed, changing places with her when she finished.
After his teeth were brushed and the rest of his pre-bed routine was done, he climbed in bed next to her.
Spencer cuddled into his shoulder. "Did you have a good time tonight?"
"I did. It's always nice when we get everyone together." he replied, wrapping his arm around her to secure her in place. "Mona's a character."
She laughed. "She sure is. I have a feeling there is a lot more to her than we'll ever know."
Toby hummed in agreement. "Did you get to talk to Miranda much?" he asked, his eyes focused on his fingers playing with hers.
Something in his tone caught her attention. "Not particularly… why?"
"She and Caleb seem to have gotten pretty close over the last while."
Spencer sat up a little, understanding what he was getting at. "What do you mean by that? You think she likes him like that?"
He shrugged, easing her back into his arms. "I don't know. I just saw them talking together and thought there might be something there."
"Why?"
Toby could hear the sharpness beginning to colour her tone and regretted bringing it up. He only had because he hoped he was overreacting, and so far, it looked that way.
"Because the way she looked at Caleb when he was with Hanna was the way I used to look at you when you were with Wren."
Spencer clearly hadn't been expecting that since she didn't reply right away, just sat motionless, blinking.
"Well Caleb loves Hanna." she finally said, as if he had been arguing that fact.
"I didn't say he didn't."
"Then what are you saying?" Her voice was crisp now.
He sighed. "Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything."
"No, tell me. Have we really gotten to this place where all of our friends have to date each other and then switch around like some incestuous pool? Or can we actually have friends outside of the dating circle? Is that really so much to ask?"
Toby had no idea what was going on, but he could hear the hysteria rising in her voice and knew that there was a lot more going on than what he had brought up.
"Spencer, what's really bothering you?"
"Hanna is my best friend, Toby! If Caleb falls for this Miranda chick, it's going to break her heart. And you know what that means! Choosing sides! You'll pick Caleb, since you've known him longer than you've even known me, and I'll be on Hanna's side, and next thing you know we have to change the wedding party and everyone looks significantly less good together and about ten times less happy in photos! And then I'll have to listen to my extended family gloat about how I got married too young and already look miserable, and god, why don't we just cancel the whole thing right now before we get the break on our taxes and have to pay it back in our internal organs!" she shouted, wringing her hands as she ranted.
Toby, normally someone built with a lot of patience, understanding, and tact, couldn't help cracking up at her panic.
"It's NOT funny!" Spencer growled at him, but he was shaking with silent laughs now, officially unable to form words, and she found it hard to stay mad when witnessing such a sight. "Toby!" she tried to argue irritably, but she giggled through it and he gasped for another breath.
"I'm sorry, Spence… I just..." he wheezed.
She ruffled his hair in annoyance, burying her laughs in his shoulder. "I know, I know… I'm ridiculous."
"You're adorable." he promised, kissing her temple affectionately. "And I love you. And I promise, no matter what happens with ANY of our friends, you and I are always sticking together."
She smiled at that and kissed him on the mouth. "That's what I like to hear."
"We should get some sleep." he suggested, seeing the time and leaning over to turn off the lamp. "Night, Spence."
"Goodnight." she murmured back as she lay down properly.
It didn't take long for Toby to fall asleep, but Spencer lay awake for longer, contemplating the newest information they had discussed.
Did Miranda really have feelings for Caleb? And if she did, would Caleb develop them in return? Had he already? She remembered the way he had looked at Hanna earlier in the night, and the way it had sparked a competition between the 'boyfriends' and that had to mean something, right?
But if Toby was right, that Miranda was looking at Caleb the way he had looked at her when she was still in a long-term relationship, that wasn't good. She and Wren hadn't lasted much longer than that night they all got together, and she knew full well that Toby had been a clear catalyst to their break-up.
Spencer tried to settle down to sleep, her mind buzzing with the Miranda/Caleb/Hanna love triangle as well as the Jenna/Emily drama on the horizon.
Safe to say, it wasn't a restful sleep.
Things didn't get any easier as time passed and Spencer continued to leave Toby in the dark.
She had suspicions that he was starting to sense that every time he mentioned either Emily or Jenna, she couldn't look him straight in the eye. And when he suggested they invite Emily to the get together with them, Hanna, Caleb, Ezra and Aria, Spencer had answered far too quickly that she had texted Emily already and she was working.
He had yet to say anything about it, but Spencer knew that didn't mean she was in the clear yet.
Thankfully, their four friends were over at the moment, and Toby was effectively distracted by discussing racing game tactics with his two best friends. Hanna and Aria had gone out on a takeout run to the local Thai place, so Spencer was completely immersed in debating with herself on whether or not she should just tell Toby later that night or not.
She knew Emily had asked her to keep it a secret, and Jenna, but was that really a fair thing for them to ask? But she also felt they had a point—that, with such a delicate subject, there was a way to tell Toby about it and it wasn't just blurted out. But the more Spencer thought about it, the more she realized that, at some point, it would come out that she had known before him and she really didn't know how he'd feel about that.
And then of course, there was still the drama of her possible pregnancy. She really needed to get that figured out. Holding not one, but two big secrets was about to split her in two. She couldn't wait anymore.
Excusing herself from the boys, who were a little too enthusiastic in their video game conversation to pay her too much attention, she slipped into the bathroom in her bedroom and rummaged behind her tampons in her private 'girly' cupboard to locate what she needed.
She bit her lip, suddenly wishing she had Aria or Hanna or Emily with her. Hell, she'd even take her sister at this point. She didn't want to do this alone. And she knew Toby would be by her side without hesitation if he knew.
But she also didn't want anyone to know about this. She wanted to be alone because she wanted to be the only one who knew until she felt ready to tell. And she wasn't ready to tell.
She swallowed back her tears and read the instructions eight full times before figuring she couldn't put it off any longer.
With a sigh, she pushed her dignity to the side and squatted to pee on the stick as instructed.
Wrinkling her nose in distaste, she placed the test on the counter as she cleaned herself up and adjusted her outfit.
The test would take some time before it would read a result, and the sound of Toby's laugh from the living room made her insides freeze.
No.
She couldn't do this.
Not alone. Not now. Not ever.
Spencer grabbed the test and shoved it to the back of the cupboard, folding up the box and instructions and burying them deep inside her purse so she could discard them out of the house to avoid Toby stumbling upon them accidentally. She wasn't going to be like those girls on TV or in movies who take a test and leave the box sticking out of the top of the tiny bathroom garbage can.
As if the pregnancy test underneath the bathroom sink was a bomb, Spencer skittered back to the dinner party and stopped short when she saw who had joined them.
"Spence! Look who we ran into at the Thai place!" Aria said brightly, gesturing to the two brunettes next to her.
Spencer felt the blood drain from her face and placed yet another fake smile on her lips. "Emily. Jenna. So glad you could make it."
Toby had picked up on the fact that Spencer looked suddenly nauseous and he remembered what she had said earlier as he greeted the new guests.
"Spencer said you were working." he commented as he pulled Emily into a hug.
She looked confused, but then glanced at Spencer and corrected her throat. "Oh! Yeah, I just mixed up my schedule. I'm an idiot." she said playfully with a shrug.
"You should've come by earlier. We are always happy to see you."
Emily forced a smile at him. "Thanks, Toby. I'll remember that next time."
She made a beeline for Spencer and things looked oddly tense between them. Were they fighting? Since when did they get into fights? And why hadn't Spencer told him about it?
Figuring he could ask her later, he moved to help dish out the food.
Everyone crowded around their dining room table, digging right into all the different options they had picked up. Conversation picked up easily, Aria explaining the different options to Jenna and Hanna, and Caleb when he made odd faces at her descriptions. Ezra and Emily were comparing different Thai restaurants in the city, since both were across different sides of town. The only one who wasn't talking was Spencer, who he noticed was just eating quietly, her eyes on her plate.
Since he had spent the time dishing the food out of Styrofoam containers and into bowls and serving dishes, he hadn't had his choice of seating, so he was about as far away from Spencer as he could be. He wished he was sitting next to her, so he could simply lean over and ask her what was wrong and not draw attention to them. But he was stuck, so he tried to remain engaged in what the others were talking about so no one else noticed her mind being absent from the table.
The food was amazing, so, soon, nobody was talking much, choosing to fill their mouths with the deliciously spiced and grilled food. They gorged on far too much pad thai, dunked forkful after forkful of jasmine rice into red curry, and fought over the deep fried spring rolls as if there wasn't enough to go around.
Spencer was smiling, talking even, but Toby could tell even from where he was that her heart wasn't in it. She had been acting a little off for days, but tonight was the icing on the cake, and he knew she had been acting different since she went to the bathroom earlier. He figured she wasn't feeling well.
"Emily, you've got some red curry right there." Hanna giggled at her, pointing below her jaw line where she had slopped some of the food earlier.
Emily flushed and dabbed at the area thoroughly with a napkin, pulling back to get the all clear from Hanna.
But Hanna's eyes went round. "Did it burn you or something, Em? Your skin is… it looks like a burn or a bruise…"
She immediately trailed off as her mouth fell open at what was really there, but Emily's hand had clamped over it as she blushed a deep red.
"It's a curling iron burn." she said quickly. "I must've wiped off my cover-up."
"How did you get a curling iron burn there, Emily?" Hanna teased gleefully, obviously enjoying herself and the whole table was now staring at Emily.
She unfortunately had a point—the pink and purple spot was a little too far up to be a typical burn place. She would've had to be doing some funky hairstyling in order to accidentally nudge against the skin there.
But it was a perfectly acceptable place for overeager kisses to reach.
Spencer looked like she was going to throw up now more than ever, and Toby felt confused why she was so bothered. He wasn't an idiot—he knew that Emily was lying about the love bite on her neck. He just didn't understand where she got it from.
"Are you back with Maya? Or is this someone new?" Aria inquired interestedly, smiling happily for her friend.
"It's a curling iron burn." Emily replied shortly, pointedly, but it was no use. All except Jenna, Spencer and Toby were having far too much fun now.
"I should really curl my hair more often. That one looks like a good one." Ezra tossed out amusedly, causing Aria to smack him on the arm.
"You should really turn down the heat on that one." Caleb added, snickering at his own lame pun.
"Enough, you guys. Let's leave Em alone. She'll tell us when she's ready." Toby inputted before anyone else could add in.
Emily sent him a grateful look and he smiled in return.
Dinner wrapped up and the dishes were cleared.
"I love those earrings, Jenna. Where did you get them?" Aria asked Toby's green-eyed step-sister, leaning closer to get a better look at them.
Jenna quickly pulled her hair up and away from her ear so she could get a proper look at them. "This little boutique downtown. They have the best stuff, tons of vintage too. I'll have to show you it sometime."
Toby diverted his attention elsewhere but Caleb suddenly grabbed his arm.
"Dude. Look at her neck, by her hairline."
With confused blue eyes, he followed the instruction and noticed the fading blotch of discoloured skin up behind her ear now that it was fully exposed.
So Jenna was seeing someone new too?
"Toby… that mark on Emily… and now one on Jenna… you don't think that…?"
But he didn't need to finish the question. The gears in Toby's brain were already turning, coming to the same conclusion and staring in oblivious wonder between Emily and Jenna and finally landing on Spencer.
She had been weird since they arrived. She had been weird since the party the week before, which both Emily and Jenna attended. Had she found out somehow? Caught them in some intimate thing and then kept it from him?
He could feel the blood pounding in his ears, remembering how Emily was being teased at dinner and Jenna had remained silent. It was like those nights at home, when his father would talk down to him about all the potential he was wasting while she sat there soaking it all in with pleasure. Jenna enjoyed other people's pain, enjoyed watching them be uncomfortable. After all, she used to get off from manipulating him into sex.
And who was to say she wasn't doing that with Emily and Emily just was too trusting to realize? Or worse, that she just didn't know how to get out of it and was scared, and that's why she could barely defend herself at dinner?
Emily caught his gaze, and her face fell, as if she understood that he knew now, and that was enough to skyrocket his blood pressure. If he was right…
Toby wasn't an angry person, in fact he was quite the opposite, but rules were meant to be broken.
"Toby…" he heard Spencer's warning voice, and he hadn't even realized he had already started crossing the room to where Emily and Jenna were. He wasn't even sure what anyone else was doing—everyone's eyes could be on him for all he knew.
"Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm reading into this too much."
"Reading into what?" Ezra asked from the sidelines, knowing him well enough to know that he was pissed and that it was out of character.
Jenna moved to stand beside Emily now, swallowing nervously.
"Toby…"
"NO! Tell me, right now, that you two aren't together. That those mirroring marks on you guys are each from someone not in this room at this very moment. Tell me I'm wrong."
"We wanted to tell you—" Emily tried to say, but he cut her off.
"No. No! You don't know her like I do, Emily! You don't know what she's done! You don't know how she masquerades as one person but then will suddenly turn into another!"
"I do know what she's done! She told me. About what happened. About what she did." she said, quieter now.
"You say that like it was once." Toby threw back bitterly, not caring that the few in the room that didn't know about his exact sticky situation probably were getting a pretty good idea. He was just seeing red, and he was determined to get Emily to see the truth, even though he knew every word he was uttering was further pushing him and Jenna back to where they were before and erasing all strides they had made forward in their sibling relationship.
"Toby, I know I hurt you. I know what I did to you was wrong. But I've changed. I would never hurt Emily like that. I would never hurt anybody like that again."
"You told me you loved me, Jenna. You honestly expect me to believe that you're going to treat someone new better than someone you really felt that for? Or was that another one of your manipulative lies?"
He could see each line he threw at her lashing pain across her face like a whip, but he didn't care. He cared about Emily far too much to let anything like that happen to her.
"You know, Jenna, I can't help but feel like you chose within my group of friends just to get back at me. You can date anybody in the world and you pick Emily? Seriously?"
"It's not like that!" Jenna cried, tears leaking down her cheeks now.
"Toby, you don't understand—" Emily started, but he wouldn't let her finish either.
"You're damn right I don't understand. I expected better from you. I expected you to be smarter than to fall for her bullshit."
"Toby—" Spencer made the mistake of jumping in, seeing the hurt on both girls' faces, but Toby simply rounded on her.
"Don't you start. Out of everyone in this room, I expected more from you. The one I'm going to spend my life with, the one who it's supposed to be me-and-you-against-the-world, and instead, you knew about this and you kept it from me. Didn't you? I know you did. You've been off for days and you've barely looked at them all night. Why didn't you tell me, Spencer? I get why they didn't, and I could get over that but you? You knew it would bother me but you didn't tell me. What happened to no secrets?!"
Spencer couldn't respond, knowing he was completely right to be raising his voice at her right then, and she let the tears fall, looking down in shame. She hated that this was happening in front of everyone, her skin prickling in humiliation but it was nothing on the pain in her heart for how right he was in his claim. Toby was supposed to be her number one; it wasn't an obligation to tell him everything, but she was supposed to want to trust him with all her secrets. Instead, she kept something from him that she knew exactly how upsetting it could be for him.
Toby's shoulders slumped, finally exhausted from his outburst.
"'No secrets'… 'Til death do us part'… yeah, we'll see about that." he whispered before striding out the back door to get to the fire escape and slamming the door behind him.
Spencer understood exactly what he meant by throwing that statement back at her and her hand rose to cover her mouth to stop the cry of pain from escaping.
Everyone was staring at her in shock, looking like they wanted to comfort her but unsure how, and it was Emily who stepped forward first.
"Spencer…" Her voice was soft and apologetic and concerned, but it was too much.
Spencer pushed her hair off of her face, trying to stop the tears from pouring out of her eyes.
"The party's over. You can see yourselves out. Goodnight." she said roughly, slamming her bedroom door closed behind her and falling against the back of it, sliding down the length of it as she began sobbing into her knees.
She knew they could probably hear her, but she didn't care. She didn't care who heard. Her heart was breaking and there was nothing she could do to convince herself that she hadn't brought it on herself completely.
Her body shook all over, the thickness in her throat making her choke on her sobs, and she hugged her knees tighter, wishing they were her husband-to-be instead.
She had no idea where he was going, and worse, if he was coming back.
She heard her friends leaving, the door shutting softly behind them, and another body leaned against the opposite side of the door.
"Spence… I'm so, so sorry. Please let me in?"
It was Emily, sounding wretched.
Spencer couldn't reply, but even if she could, she would've told her to go away. She wasn't blaming Emily—she just didn't want to be around anyone right now. She wanted to be alone.
She suddenly remembered earlier, what she had done before Emily arrived, and got up from her spot on the floor in a determined rush.
Digging through the contents of her misshapen cupboard, she finally produced the test she had taken earlier. Not even bothering to take a deep breath in preparation, since she was still half-gasping for air, she looked down at the tiny screen.
A positive plus sign stared back at her.
Pregnant. She was pregnant. She had a person growing inside her.
And she was more alone than she had ever been.
