Day Four - Morning
Today is the day of the funeral. I decided upon that idea when I woke up in bed the next morning with Nagini curled up beside me on the bed. She looked as peaceful as a snake could look while asleep and she made me think of the crushed snake from the log truck that was now stuck inside a shoebox. Voldemort comes back tomorrow and I wonder if I should wait to have the funeral with him present.
No, that wouldn't be good. He'd bawl like a baby and I don't think the other Death Eaters would be able to handle that. The funeral should consist of only the members of the Inner Circle, the ones that knew the snake best.
I have to check the collar of the snake to find out the animal's name. Edward. My Lord had a snake named Edward. My first thought was clearly my Lord is lacking his usual talent in names. My second thought was that I should be a bit more respectful of the dead. Ah well.
The invitations were sent out quickly enough to the Inner Circle members. Sev was the first one to answer back saying that he would attend. I would like to think that he wanted to show his respect to the snake, maybe speak to some of his old friends as well. As it turned out, he opted to show up because on the invite, I said that there would be cookies.
That man has such a one-track mind.
God, I want to get fucked.
Anyway, I mentioned on the invite that there would be free food after the funeral. That way we could all mourn and then come back and, I don't know, discuss what we liked about the snake and hope that Voldemort won't be too pissy when he comes back and finds out about this.
I decided to hold the funeral in the backyard of the Manor rather than in the backyard of his castle. I didn't think he'd want us to dig holes in his backyard and who knows what else is buried there? There's also the fact that the neighbors are quite used to seeing cloaked and robed men digging in the Malfoy backyard. They wouldn't complain. They'd just wonder as to how many pets we have and why they keep dying.
That and I don't think the Dark Lord would appreciate me inviting all the Death Eaters to his castle and partying with his food while he was away.
I spent much of the morning decorating the Manor, using the colours black and purple with gusto. The Elves managed to hang most of the decorations without strangling themselves. I suppose that's a good thing, but it means we won't get to play pinata with them. On the wall before the dining room buffet table held a large sign that read "We Will Miss You, Edward!"
Everything was looking so well and beautiful, I found it a bit difficult to be sad and grieving, but I managed to look a bit tearful. Mostly due to Narcissa poking me in the eye while saying, "I can't believe you took back in that filthy traitor!" She really doesn't like Sev very much.
She had no desire to be present when the Death Eaters came a-calling so she took herself, and my money, out for a shopping joint into the wizarding world.
At noon precisely, the Death Eaters started to arrive.
---
Day Four - Afternoon
Rookwood was the first to show up. He took one look at the decorations and I just knew he loved them by the first words that came out of his mouth. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." Rookwood can be such a killjoy at times, he needs to learn to get out more.
Reminds me of someone else I know.
Speak of the devil and he does appear! Severus came in next, wanting to arrive early to make sure all who passed through the door came without any weapons to do him harm. I caught him trying to go over to buffet table twice and had to smack his hand to keep it from grabbing one of the chocolate chip cookies.
Walden Macnair was the next to show up, bringing with the beer that was sorely lacking from the luncheon. He seemed amused by the entire project. He was followed by Mulciber, who seemed to take an obscene interest in the snake just waiting to be buried.
"I can see the crushed guts!"
We all ignored him.
Crabbe and Goyle came next, nearly breaking the doorway as they tried to enter at the same time. It was about now that I started to wonder if Narcissa's assumption about the Inner Circle were correct and that they were a bunch of idiots.
Then Nott came in which didn't help my train of thought any. The man still reeked of pea soup. I had hoped that he could, at least, bathe or find a decent pair of robes to wear to this momentous occasion. No such luck. Ah, 'tis trying to deal with the poor.
Avery came next. Nothing particularly spectacular about that, and then Travers, who proceeded to make eyes at me during much of the afternoon. I think Sev blasted him a few times but it was difficult to tell since most of the time I was trying to play the grieving..whatever it was I was supposed to be. Key word is grieving.
And it got to be annoying. There's only so many times I can poke myself in the eye to let out a few tears before deciding that I'd rather not poke myself. The Lestranges decided not to come, funerals being a big thing for the both of them. No offense was taken as the two were allowed their strange quirks. They had been locked up, after all.
So, now that we were all present, we made our way out to the backyard, Crabbe and Goyle leading the procession and carrying the shoebox on a pillow. I was immensely glad to see that the others had worn black to commemorate this event.
We elected Severus to be the priest because he has that black-button thing going on with the white collar and such. He rolled his eyes but spoke anyway.
"Today, we are here to bury Edward the Snake. Torn from the peak of his life due to an irresponsible log truck driver."
I proceeded to bawl. Macnair was kind enough to hold me.
"Edward shall remain in our hearts and souls as a martyr to the Cause."
Macnair patted me on the back. And then his hand slipped further down to pat me on the arse.
"And he shall serve as a lesson to always look twice before crossing the road."
Truer words could not be spoken. After that, we went around the circle, saying what we knew of Edward and something good about him.
I wished that Macnair wouldn't scratch himself while stating that he barely knew the snake and Crabbe and Goyle had to keep Mulciber from eating the remains of Edward. Other than that, the ceremony went off without a hitch.
The hole was dug by Avery while Severus watched with a pleased grin on his face since he didn't have to be the one doing the digging. The shoebox was placed into the hole and we each put a pile of dirt over it. Edward's headstone was a lovely black rock that had been leftover from Draco's pet rock collection he had grown out of when he was five. An 'E' was scraped into the rock from one of Mulciber's claws and placed upon the grave.
The funeral now over and done with, we solemnly made our way back to the Manor, whereupon we proceeded to come out of the somber moods and started devouring the food.
I think I drank too much because when I woke up, it was already seven pm and Severus and Walden were laying beside me, Walden's head resting upon my crotch while Severus' arm was around my waist. I didn't complain much. The other Death Eaters were laying as well, sprawled out over the other.
Most were undressed and I was sorely glad I was still clothed.
---
Day Four - Evening
After waking up, I made my way back to Voldemort's castle, allowing the other Death Eaters to deal with their own selves. They knew better than to steal from me, of course. And I knew Severus would keep them in line. He's useful like that.
Besides, I had more important things to deal with. For instance, the fact that my Lord was coming home tomorrow! I would spend the last night alone here in the castle, making a mental note to ward and lock up the bedroom door so as to prevent Nagini from coming in again. I also intended to use the rest of tonight to decorate the castle for Voldemort's imminent arrival.
What sort of decorations I would throw up was my only guess. Something that expressed my utter desire to see him again. Something that didn't tell him of what had happened to his pet snake. Something that showed off all the accomplishments I made throughout his vacation.
Something that made him want to fuck me senseless.
And the idea came then! Heads!
Well, why not? After all, there's giving head and then there's severed heads. The two tie in to each other. Besides, I had once given him the head of one of his enemies and he had seemed quite taken with that present. Why not repeat the trick, only instead of one head, there could be many.
The only problem was, whose heads can adorn his castle? I left the Elves he employed to deal with the usual decorative things. Banners that said 'Welcome Home, Voldie' and the like. All done in colours of black, red, and green. Mostly in red. Gryffindor colour, I know, but he so does like it for some reason. Meanwhile, I went out to ponder over this new idea.
I finally ended up deciding that it really didn't matter whose heads they were, so long as there were heads all around. I called Macnair and the two of us started heading through the city, looking for people.
To make a long story short, we accumulated a vast amount of bodies that day. Whores, cutthroats, thieves, Aurors, so many others. Off went their heads and on they went to pikes that were set up around the castle. Well, around the drawing room and living areas at least. it wouldn't do if they were around the castle, of course. The stench would be horrible if he couldn't find one or two.
Which means that Macnair and I were left with a whole lot of decapitated bodies to dispose of. We, at first, tried dumping them into the river, weighing them down. But that took too long and the hours were passing like minutes.
So then we tried chopping up the bodies into small pieces and flushing them down the toilets of the castle. Macnair liked that job, but it was slow, messy, and the toilets ended up overflowing.
Plus, there was this finger that simply would not go down!
So we gathered up the remaining bodies and headed for the only place we could take them.
The tavern in Knockturn. You know of the one? It's a nice place if you want your steak raw. Suggested to me by Macnair, the little vixen. The employees at the tavern ended up paying us top dollar for the bodies. We didn't ask what they would be doing with them and they didn't tell us.
I sincerely doubt they're going to use them as wall decoration. Oh, don't look like that. You seem as though you're about to vomit.
So now the body problem had been solved and I was able to go back to the castle to await our Lord's arrival. The Elves seemed to have finished with the decorating and the place looked splendiferous. I made sure everything was in its proper order, doing my final inspections while wallowing in glee that my Lord was coming home tomorrow.
Today, rather, by one look at the clock. Looking over the Death Eaters hadn't been too hard, really. I knew I was missing a lot of things and I hadn't spent that much time with my family, but the four days were soon to be over and I felt accomplished. And tired. I couldn't resist sitting down upon one of the chairs around the dining room table and resting my head in my arms. I vowed I would take a short nap, but ended up falling asleep instead.
I guess I should have come to this huge momentous realization. Something about duties and responsibilities and how they effect us in every day life. Something about morals and ethics. Something about differences, opinions, and values.
But fuck it. I just wanna get laid.
