Chapter Four: Broken People
Lindsay Small sat in the middle of her pink ruffled bed with a hairbrush in her lap and waited. Lana always came to tuck her in at night, but Lindsay was beginning to suspect that her sister wouldn't be coming this time. That bothered her, and she knew it was selfish to want things her way at a time like this, but she couldn't help it.
Lindsay never even knew that she had a sister until Lana sought her out at boarding school. She'd been wary at first, but the many presents and attention warmed her up in a hurry. She was used to being ignored, both by her father and her newly remarried mother and new husband, so having someone want to spend time with her was a welcomed change.
Lindsay found her father facedown in the backyard one day during the summer, and even before she rolled him over, she knew he was dead. His hand had that sickly pale look that even if you've never seen it before, you still recognize as death. A heart attack took him and left Lindsay and her older brother Jackson at the mercy of their mother.
It's not that their mother was a bad woman; she just didn't have the best taste in husbands. Her new one, George was a stockbroker who never ever had wrinkles in his suit. He liked his toast well done in the morning, and spent a good portion of the evenings trimming his nose hair and polishing his own shoes. Georgie, as her mother called him (and Lindsay hated that!) couldn't care less about Jackson. He stayed out at all hours of the night, running with the wrong crowd and was rarely home.
Georgie did though, care a great deal about Lindsay. He watched her when he thought she wasn't looking, and more than once he let his hugs linger a few seconds too long. While she was taking a bath or showering, he almost always knocked on the door, and had walked in on her twice. So Lindsay began spending as much of her time with Lana as she could and avoided going home. She spent the night often, sometimes for days at a time.
One night while she was sleeping, Lindsay was surprised to hear her bedroom door open. Thinking it was her brother Jackson coming to tell her something, she rolled over to ask him what he wanted. Instead, it was George, the darkness covering his face like a mask. "What do you want?" she whispered at him. He said nothing at first, and crept closer to her bed. He ended up only sitting beside her, talking and rubbing her knees, but she was scared. So scared that the very next morning she fled to the mansion without saying goodbye to her mother and brother.
When her parents called to try and get her to go home, she cried and begged Lana not to make her leave. When asked why, she wouldn't say because she felt too embarrassed. Eventually the scene escalated, and Lex came to talk to her.
"Lindsay, I need to know why you don't want to go home," he said in a soothing voice. She just shook her head and kept crying, wishing she didn't have to say. She'd already played twenty questions with Lana. During their conversation, she'd set her hand down on Lindsay's knee, which jerked away as if she'd been burned. Looking alarmed, Lana immediately left the room and a few minutes later, Lex came in. He sat at a distance, and kept his hands to himself.
"Lindsay, if someone is hurting you, I need you to tell me so I can make it stop," he said. Her eyes focused on the pristine white carpet of her bedroom. "If you don't tell me, I will have to send you home," he continued, and Lindsay finally looked up at him. She definitely didn't want that. "How about I ask questions, and you just nod for me if the answer is yes," he asked. She thought about it for a moment, and then nodded.
"Has someone hurt you?"
That one was a little confusing, but since the answer was technically no, she shook her head.
"Do you think someone might?"
She shrugged her shoulders.
"Is someone making you feel bad?"
Nod.
"Is it George?"
Nod.
"Has he touched you?"
Pause. Nod.
"Are you afraid that if you go home he'll do it again?"
Nod.
"Do you want to stay with us from now on?"
Frantic nodding.
"And live with us instead of at your mother's house?"
Lindsay kept nodding her head and when the tears came again, he carefully reached out to hug her. She let him, and the very next day he had all of her things brought from her house. Her mother was predictably upset, but she put up no argument, making Lindsay wonder what Lex had done or said to them to get his way.
Ever since then, Lindsay had been a part of the Luthor household. It was a strange place to be, and yet that strangeness is what made it oddly comforting. No one pretended to be perfect, rather this was a family of broken people- jagged pieces put together to make an imperfect whole.
Barely two months after giving birth to her second baby, Alexander, Lana had fallen pregnant again. Lex seemed happy at the prospect of having another son, but understandably Lana was less than pleased.
"I'm sick of being fat!" she complained through tears. She wasn't fat, but Lindsay still understood her problem. She was sick of being pregnant. Julian was no picnic either. Lana suffered while pregnant with him, more than she had the other two. She was bedridden for the last three months, and by that time the baby was kicking so hard that it left bruises on the outside of her body.
"Oh my God!" Rebecca had screamed. "Stop beating up your mother, you little shit!"
Three weeks before his due date a massive snowstorm hit Kansas, knocking out power and blocking roads to travel. Of course this was when Julian decided that he wanted to come out. Lana was very upset, and because of that Lex was very upset, which upset Lionel etc. etc. It was a stressful adventure that lasted two whole days. Where Kate and Alex had been born in fourteen and eight hours respectively, Julian took 41.
To pass the time in the beginning, Lindsay helped Graciela and Lana pick a name for the baby. "What was the name of the baby in 'Rosemary's Baby?'" Lana asked.
"Adrian," Graciela informed her.
Lana thought about that for a second, and then waved it away. "Well, I still think Lucifer is still too obvious. We don't want everyone to know that this is the antichrist."
"At least it starts with an L," Lindsay piped up. Lana looked over at her and gave a pained smile.
"What about the Omen?" she asked.
"Damien," Graciela answered as she fluffed Lana's pillows.
Lindsay wrinkled her nose at that one. "Damien Luthor sounds stupid."
"And still too obvious," Lana sighed.
Graciela gave a quick smile. "Well, you could always name the boy Lionel."
That sent all three of them into a riot of laughter that ended abruptly when a powerful contraction hit Lana. Once it subsided she relaxed into the bed with her eyes shut. "I need ice," she said quietly.
"I could always bring in a wheelbarrow and haul your ass outside," Graciela quipped, as she walked out the door. Lana chuckled weakly and looked over at Lindsay. The guest room they were in was dark with only the orange glow from the fireplaces throwing its light across the room. Lindsay was cold, but Lana had the covers completely thrown off, exposing her bare feet and frail but swollen body clad in a thin blue dressing gown.
She reached her arms out and Lindsay went into them, careful to avoid pressing on her belly. "This must be weird for you," Lana said as she smoothed Lindsay's hair back.
"I'm scared a little," she confessed.
"Oh, you don't need to be," Lana said smiling. "I'm an old pro at this by now." They stayed silent for a few minutes, just listening to the sound of the fire crackle and spit.
When Julian finally came, Lindsay was there to see it. It was grosser than she expected, but nicer too. She felt closer to her sister than she had ever felt before. Graciela delivered the baby who screamed his way into the world and went straight to his mother's breast.
"This one isn't a spare," Graciela commented.
"No, he isn't," Lana said thoughtfully as she gazed at him. Already he was feistier than his slightly older brother. Lana looked up at Lex, who sat beside her. "What's his name Daddy?" she asked.
Lex reached out and brushed the baby's cheek with the back of his index finger. "Julian," he finally answered.
As the days passed, Lana was desperate for a nickname, considering the stigma surrounding the former Julian Luthor. They tried many things, but Lindsay was the one to make something stick. "He looks like my brother," she'd said, and that's all it took. From then on, Julian was known as Jack, and that suited everyone just fine.
A month after he was born, Lindsay found Lana on the floor of her dressing room one afternoon. She'd been about to ask if she could go riding, but froze once she saw her lying there. Flashbacks of finding her father dead kept her rooted to the spot.
"Oh my God!" shouted Graciela as she walked in behind her. "Go get Mr. Luthor," she told her, but still Lindsay couldn't move. She watched as Graciela rolled Lana over onto her back, exposing her beautiful face, frozen in a sort of death mask. Graciela turned back to Lindsay with a mixture of fear and fury on her face. "GO!" she screamed, and the girl found her feet. She ran all the way downstairs to Lex's office, and then all the way back after him.
It turned out that having the babies so close together like that was simply too much on Lana's little body, and she suffered from a severe case of anemia and malnutrition. Lindsay stayed by her side in the hospital for two weeks and willed her to get better. She did and now two and a half months later, they were dealing with this crisis. Things just never stopped happening in this house.
Footsteps echoed down the hall, and she waited expectantly as the door opened. "Hey kid, you okay?" It was Nadia.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered. She liked Nadia; could tell in her eyes that she understood suffering. Nadia didn't talk down to her either, and she appreciated that. When she'd asked where babies came from, Nadia told her. She was thankful even if she did have nightmares for a week.
Nadia strode across the room and sat down on the bed. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"Waiting on Lana."
"I don't think your sister is going to come and tuck you in tonight," she said. "She's not feeling well."
"Because of Kate?"
"Yeah."
"Want me?" Nadia asked, pointing to the brush in Lindsay's lap. She handed it to her, and turned around letting Nadia brush her long blond hair.
"Do you think Kate's still alive?" Lindsay asked. She felt Nadia stiffen behind her, and wondered if she shouldn't have asked.
"I don't know," she answered finally, pulling the brush from the crown of Lindsay's head all the way down to the tips of her hair.
"I hope she is."
"Me too."
They sat in silence for a while, both grateful to have the company. In truth, Lindsay did very much hope that Kate was okay because she was worried that if she weren't, her life would somehow change. Now that she finally felt as though she had a real place to call home, she didn't want that to go away.
Little did she know, Nadia felt the same way.
"Are you sure you don't need anything else?" Graciela asked as she headed towards the door. She turned back with kind eyes and waited for Lana's answer.
"No, go ahead and get some sleep. We're fine." She glanced over at her two babies sleeping in her bed and then looked back at Graciela with a tired smile.
"Good night then Mrs. Luthor," the older woman said as she left the room. The door clicked shut, and the silence seemed loud to Lana suddenly. Wanting to scream, but needing to keep quiet, she stepped into the adjoining bathroom and pulled the door most of the way closed behind her. Her reflection in the mirror was hideous. She was sure that at some point in time she must have looked that bad before, but currently her weary mind drew a blank.
"God, you look like shit," she said quietly to herself.
"I wouldn't say that," said Lex, standing in the doorway. Startled, Lana jumped violently and gasped, throwing her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound.
Lex put his hands up and walked over to her. "It's just me."
She turned back and leaned against the sink for support. "I didn't hear you come in." She turned on the tap, and cupped her hands under the flow, bringing the cool water to her face. She felt old and run down, and washing her face didn't help half as much as people always said it did.
Lana looked up at Lex through the mirror and saw a reflection similar to hers. It occurred to her for the first time, that he really was several years older than she was. In his eyes though, she saw a spark of something. Mischief?
"Where did you go?" she asked as she dried her hands. The hesitation that followed was noted and filed away. She didn't really care.
"I had some things to look into," he answered cryptically. On any ordinary day, his evasiveness would have bothered her. Today though, what did it really matter?
"Business or pleasure?" she joked humorlessly.
Instead of answering, Lex looked at her with concern in his eyes, and placed a palm to her cheek. "You look tired," he said. "You should get some sleep."
She shook her head and pulled away from him. "I've been in bed all day. Can't sleep." Her red eyes watered again, and she was surprised that she had any tears left. "Can't sleep with Kate out there, God knows where."
She continued to swipe at her hands with the towel, and Lex gently took it away from her, remembering a time when she had scrubbed her hands till they nearly bled. "Hey," he whispered, tilting her chin upwards. It had been a very long time since he had seen her look so on edge. "We're going to get her back," he told her. Lex wanted to be strong for her, wanted to be brave, but her face began to crumble anyway.
Lana mumbled incoherently as the sobs wracked her body, and she leaned heavily on Lex for support. "I just need to know that she's okay," she managed to say before her knees buckled. "God!" she forced out between clenched teeth. She tried to be quiet, so as not to wake her other babies in the next room, but her body simply wouldn't cooperate. Lex pulled her to him roughly, and she buried her face in his jacket to smother her cries.
"What if she's scared?" she asked, and Lex's heart sank. It was exactly the question he'd avoided asking himself all day. "What if she's hurt?" she added, and Lex jerked her face up to him.
"If anyone has hurt our child, I will spend the rest of my life hunting them down," he said resolutely. "If they lay even a hand on Kate, I promise you that I will make them suffer for it." He watched as coldness flashed across her eyes. Inside of her lurked a dangerous animal, and it was times like these that it surfaced.
The sudden arousal he felt for her then both surprised and delighted him. Ever since Jack had been born, they hadn't been together. At first because Lana was so sick, and then later because Lana was afraid of getting pregnant again. Truth be told, he was frightened of that also. The thought of losing her scared him more than anything else ever had. Even though she was on a very strong form of birth control, he'd still been afraid to touch her.
It seemed the most inappropriate thing to do, and yet when had that ever really stopped him? He needed to be closer to her, to feel that connection again. So much of the day they'd spent apart, each grieving individually, and now he couldn't be away from her for another second.
He kissed her lips gently and gave her a moment to respond, fearing rejection. During their entire married life, he always felt such a fear, and thought that he always would. It was hardwired in him to expect the worst. Lana looked into his eyes with a slightly bewildered look on her wet face. Tears still poured fourth, and her body shook with emotion.
Sensing his need, and recognizing her own, Lana cupped his face in her hands and kissed him back. It had been such a long time. The kiss quickly deepened and became urgent, unwilling to savor or slow down. She pushed Lex's jacket off of his shoulders, and reached for the buttons on his shirt, stopping just shy of the first one.
"What about the babies?" she asked, looking intently towards the slightly ajar bathroom door. True, they slept like rocks and would most likely not awaken, but after Kate's kidnapping she felt anxious leaving them alone.
"Graciela is camped right outside the bedroom," he answered, still trying to catch his breath.
Of course she was. Lana smiled a little and rested her head against his shoulder, breathing him in deeply.
"We can wait," Lex offered sweetly. The thought of that almost made her cry again, and instead of answering, she returned to his mouth. The need she felt for him came from some dark place deep in her soul, and would not be quieted. Their burst of passion continued as if it had never been interrupted. It was brutal and raw in a way that can only be achieved when occurring in such a circumstance.
Lana's fingernails scraped across his back as he bit at one of her nipples, and she grabbed his expert hand and thrust it between her legs. With his shirt half open, he ripped open his pants and pushed her back on the floor. She pulled off her baby blue panties and wrapped her legs around his waist.
The bathroom tile was cold on her back, and Lex was tender when he entered her, mindful of the delicate condition she was in. It hurt at first like it always did after a baby, but soon she relaxed enough and found her escape in pleasure. She forced out all thoughts of Kate and her whereabouts, and focused solely on her husband and each of his long, smooth strokes.
The orgasm hit like a freight train, and as her body reached its peak Lana felt the ridiculous urge to laugh out loud. The overload of emotions coupled with such intense physical feelings were simply too much for her rational mind to take and she felt hysterical with it. She bit down on her lip to keep it all in and tasted blood in her mouth. Once Lex stilled inside her and they lay together catching their breath, Lana felt the bad thoughts returning. She tried to push them away for a little while longer, but they surfaced too quickly for her to get a handle on.
Where before she'd wanted to laugh, now she cried and it burst out of her in an uncontrollable fury. Lex enveloped her in the safe cocoon of his arms, and she drew from him all of the strength he could bear to give.
Feeling useless, Nadia ran her fingers in slow circles around the rim of her glass. It was only orange juice this time, since she felt it wouldn't be right to be intoxicated while on guard duty. She would go to bed only after she was sure that Lana and the kids were sleeping. It was a small thing, but she felt like a contributor.
"I've never thought of orange juice as being a drink that could make a person appear contemplative," came a voice from behind her. She rolled her eyes and sighed as Lionel walked past, flipping on the light to the kitchen. He was not in his pajamas, and for that she was grateful.
"Hungry?" he asked, surprising Nadia briefly with his concern. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she remembered that men always tried to make small talk after, usually in an attempt to get laid again.
"No, thank you," she answered curtly. He smirked and opened an overhead cupboard, withdrawing a box of crackers. Rather than something fancy, they were the type that one could pick up at a supermarket for a dollar or two. When he pulled out a small container of butter, she had to actively try not to stare at him in shock. This was such ridiculously normal behavior that it really started to freak her out.
"No night cap?" she asked, immediately feeling stupid. No, silly. That had already come.
Lionel laughed a little, and sat down at the table with his food, neatly arranging the items in their rightful locations. His meager snack was baffling to her. Wasn't this guy supposed to have descended from royalty? And here he was buttering his crackers!
Nadia shook her head a little, and stood to leave.
"No, stay for a moment," he said, halting her progress.
She sighed. "Lionel . . ."
"I wanted to talk to you about Kate."
Intrigued, she sat back down. "Okay," she said, waiting for him to go on. He took his time.
"I'm concerned with the way that Lex is handling this kidnapping business. He's being reckless. I understand that he feels desperate and I sympathize, but I'm not sure he's thought all of his actions through."
"What has he done?" Nadia asked.
"He's released a dangerous criminal onto the streets in an effort to track this Jennifer Stevens down," he said.
Nadia shrugged. "Well, if it helps to get Kate back . . . "
"This man is not one that you want to have out on the street for any length of time," Lionel continued. "And unfortunately, neither I nor my son have the resources to capture him after he's done the job and reincarcerate him. It was purely by accident that he was captured in the first place."
She frowned. "Why are you telling me all of this?"
"Because I believe that your in-laws can help us," he answered.
Nadia's stomach flopped over at the mention of those people. They blamed her for the deaths of her husband and son, maybe even rightfully so considering that she did as well.
"Well I haven't spoken to them in years," she told him. "You'll just have to talk to them yourself."
Lionel sat back in his chair. "They're quite a powerful family. They have the luxury of picking and choosing with whom they associate with. I need to go there immediately, and I need you to go with me."
Nadia shook her head. "What makes you think they'll even let me in? They hate me!" She hadn't meant to say so much, but he didn't look surprised.
"You're family." Lionel told her matter-of-factly.
"What do I really care if that guy is out there anyway?"
Lionel arched an eyebrow. "And what if he decides to not even attempt to find my granddaughter? What's to make him do his job? Are you willing to let that happen to Kate? Have her never be found because you were too scared to ask your former family for help?"
His challenge hit home, and she looked down at the floor. It intensely bothered her that he was right. He took her silence as her acceptance and continued to eat his crackers. She watched for a minute, and then took some for herself.
