Disclaimer: I love Supernatural and I love Sam, but they aren't mine.

Author's Note: A little more editing, but no major changes.


Chapter 4

The abrupt ringing of a cell phone broke the thick silence of the gloomy motel room, startling Sam out of his self induced stupor. Rolling off the bed so quickly that he landed on his hands and knees on the brown shag carpet, he crawled his way to the offending object on the side table. In his haste to answer before the caller hung up, he fumbled and nearly dropped the phone, swearing to himself over his newfound clumsiness. "Hello…hello?", he asked twice into the silence. Hearing no reply, Sam held the phone out to check the caller ID. He felt his heart speed up when he saw that it was Rae.

"Rae? Are you there, is everything alright?", he asked, feeling more nervous than he had expected. It was only seven in the morning, meaning she could only have gotten a few hours of sleep, considering he had left her apartment and driven back to the motel around three a.m. Listening more closely, he heard the soft sound of breathing on the other end of the line.

"Hi Sam, I'm sorry, did I wake you?", she asked quietly. She sounded tired, and Sam guessed that she had gotten about as much sleep as he had that night, meaning none.

"No! No, not at all, I'm awake. Ah…how are you doing?" Sam wondered about the reason for Rae calling him so soon. He had been expecting that he would have to go to her, not the other way around.

"I read the journal…all of it. I was awake all night thinking about it. I was wondering if you could come over to talk. I called in sick from classes today, or tomorrow's Saturday, so whenever you have the time is fine. Or we could just talk on the phone if you want, I mean it doesn't have to be right now, but soon would be good, or-", she was rambling nervously, so Sam interrupted before she could go any further.

"Rae! I can come right over, its not a problem. I would just be sitting around waiting for your call anyway, so it's perfect." Sam hoped this was reassuring rather than pathetic.

"Oh, good, that's good." Sam could hear the relief in her voice, as though she was afraid it had all been a dream and she about to be forced back into her previous reality.

Sam was anxious to see her, and as he was about to hang up and head out, he realized that he was still in yesterdays clothes and a day past a much needed shower. "Uh, hold on, can we push this back an hour? I could use a shower.", he added sheepishly.

At this Rae actually laughed, and Sam was surprised at how pleasant it sounded to him. "Even better, I could use one too. I'll see you in an hour then.", she confirmed, and hung up.

Sam sighed and leaned back against the head board. That conversation had gone really well considering their previous meeting. He was actually looking forward to seeing Rae today, this was the turning point. Deciding to stop speculating about what might happen, he headed to the bathroom so that he could actually find out. Today was going to be a good day, he could feel it.

Knocking on Rae's door, Sam couldn't help but fidget. He knew that his first impression had already been made, but now that she knew everything, he knew she would be seeing him in a different light, and he wanted it to be a good one. When the door finally opened, and he got his first glimpse of Rae since yesterday, Sam realized she hadn't been kidding when she said she had been up all night. Although she looked neat and clean, the dark bags under her puffy eyes, and the sallow tint to her skin gave her away. She did however give him a small smile when she saw him, so he took that as a good sign.

"Thanks for coming." She opened the door wider for him to pass by, and Sam could smell coffee brewing in the kitchen. When she noticed him looking, she blushed and said, "I figured you wouldn't have had time to get some before you came, and I promise not to throw anything at you today. Well, I'll try at least."

Sam let out a chuckle, and he saw her relax when she realized he wasn't angry. He moved to sit in the same chair as before, but she stopped him with a gentle hand to his arm. "I thought we might be more comfortable in the living room. This might be a while?", she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I see your point." he agreed, and switched directions, sitting on the end of her overstuffed beige couch. He silently watched her as she poured him a cup of coffee and moved to sit on the opposite side of him, handing him the chipped mug as she passed. He casually sipped on his drink as he waited for her to start talking. She drew out the inevitable by rearranging the pillows and re stacking the magazines on the coffee table. When she had smoothed out the wrinkles on her tee shirt for the third time, she looked up at him from under her lashes.

"I think I believe you." she said very quickly, in an agonized voice, as though it truly pained her to admit to it. Sam was sure his heart nearly stopped. "You're the only person who's given me any explanation about what happened that didn't include the words 'you're crazy' or 'PTSD'."

Sam could see that she was getting agitated as she talked, and she and gotten up again to walk around the room. When she made it to the window she stated to speak again. "And then I started thinking about Ruth, and the days before she died. You know I was in the hospital for a week because they thought I had a brain tumor? I had been getting headaches for almost a month, and they just kept getting worse. And then one day I just passed out. I woke up in the emergency room, and when they told me it was a tumor I thought that was the end. Ruth was so strong, she never let me give up hope." Rae had been staring out the window as she spoke, but she turned back to look at Sam, and he could see that she was crying again.

"She was my best friend. Five and a half years apart and we couldn't have been closer. She was the emotional one of the two of us, if you can believe it.", she joked, gesturing to her watering eyes. "But I could see through her act, she was more scared than I was."

Sam understood this perfectly, that was one thing he and Rae had in common. He remembered Dean's face when he had woken up after Cold Oak. It seemed that over protectiveness and total devotion weren't just a Dean thing, but rather something engrained in every older sibling.

"But then one day she was different, it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She insisted that I get another MRI, and the doctors couldn't explain it, there wasn't a tumor anymore. They said it must have been a mistake with the machine, and Ruth would never tell me how she knew it had disappeared." Rae had made her way over to a shelf full of pictures, and she picked up one in a hot pink frame. Walking back to the couch she handed it to Sam.

"That's the two of us from her twenty seventh birthday, a couple months before she died." Sam was surprised to see that the woman in the photo held little resemblance to Rae, with golden brown curls, olive skin and green eyes, among other things. But then again, most people thought the same about him and Dean too.

"I hadn't really thought about it before, but a couple days before she died she was acting kind of strange. I caught her crying one night, and all she would say was that she didn't know he was serious, she just thought they were talking." Sam looked at Rae with dawning understanding, Ruth had realized she'd made a deal.

Rae nodded, she had figured it all out. "After reading about Dean, and your Dad,", she added hesitantly, having caught the tension of their relationship from the words he'd written about him, "I knew what had happened, and now I can't believe that it was anything else but Hell Hounds. But now I have to get her back. Before I thought she was at peace, but now that I know she's in Hell, and because of me, I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't." She looked Sam straight in the eyes as she said this, and he saw that she spoke the truth.

Taking her photo back from Sam, she added, "So, when do we start?"


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