Pokemon does not belong to me. I don't know who it belongs to, probably should look that up, but I can't be bothered.

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Morning

"Uuuugh how much furtheeer." I whined, it felt like I had been walking for hours. As soon as we woke up we packed our things and left for the next city.

"You didn't have to walk you know, I could just put you in your pokeball." Replied Jake, the other two were traveling on his belt in those capsules of nothingness.

"Fuck that. Those things are creepy as hell."

"How so?"

"Tell you what, let me see one and I'll show you."

He frowned at me. "Why are you such a jerk?"

"I blame television."

"Okay stop." He looked angry, I wonder what crawled up his ass.

"Stop what, being a jerk? If so no can do."

"No not that" he stated. "You know way to much about human culture to never of had a trainer before. You even talk for Arceuses sake!"

"Im not telling you why." I replied dismissively.

"Why not!"

"Cause I'm a dick." His eye started to twitch as he came to a complete stop.

"That's it. No reason other than to be a jerk? Seriously!?"

Oh this was to much fun, maybe being a pokemon won't be so bad.

"HEY YOU!"

My head whipped around to see a kid, probably in his pre-teens wearing a blue short sleeve shirt pants and a grass hat.

He was running up to us and trying to wave us down. When he finally reached us he oil ted directly at James and said.

" I challenge you to a battle!"

Jake looked at me then looked at him then back to me, then smiled.

"I accept!"

Oh shit, why do I feel like I'm about to have my ass handed to me.

"Alright Joe your up!" That dickhead had the biggest shit eating grin I'd ever seen.

"Bu-" I couldn't get out a responce in time before the new kid called out his pokemon.

"I choose you! Wurmple!" A big ass caterpillar. Arceus, this thing was ass big as my arm, but that didn't catch my eye immediately, no something else caught my eye.

"Its got an ass for a face!" It did, right where its mouth should be.

"Holy moly! Your pokemon can talk?!" Oh right forgot about the whole talking pokemon thing. Tell you what, he's done nothing for me sooooo...

"Your pokemon looks like a giant dick!" Let's unload as many insults as I possibly can before I get my ass kicked shall we?

"Hey! That's it, Wurmple use string shot!" He commanded angrily, the big ass bug proceeded to spew white stuff from...its...face.

"AAAHHHH! Don't touch me with that shit! Thats nasty as fuck!" I jumped out of the way before it could so much as touch me.

"Joe, don't just stand there, attack!" Yelled James sounding a bit irritated.

"Fine asshole, I'll go step on it or something." I called back to him, this was going to suck I could tell.

I ran towards it as much as I could before it spouted more stringy shit at me. I wasn't lucky enough to dodge it in time so it quickly covered everything it touched.

Before I knew it my feet was covered in the stuff, pinning me to the ground.

"Mankey fucker, that's disgusting!" I called out as I struggled to wretch myself out of the sticky goop.

"Wurmple use tackle!" I looked up the see the giant penis launch itself at me

"What? Oh Fuck!" I managed to pull one foot free of its restraints just in time to kick it in the face.

"Hah, take that you over grown worm!"

"Wurmple get behind him and use tackle again!" Wait, what, oh shit shit shit shit! I was practicly ripping at the bonds now. Come on, come on! Yes! Hah in yo-OOFFF!

I ripped my leg free from the ground only to be knocked flat on my face. You know what remember when I said this wasn't so bad? I take it back this really fucking sucks.

"Again wurmple, tackle!"

"Fuck that!" I jumped up and spun around with my arm raised. "Glowy Bitch SLAP!" I swung my super charged palm towards its face.

'WHAAMM' 'Wump' Oh damn that looked like it fucking hurt. It was a direct hit to the cranium, which launched it into a nearby boulder. Haha dumb bug.

"Wurmple!" The bug trainer ran up to his pokemon. "Are you alright!?" The bug responded with a garbled chirping sound.

"Don't worry about wurmple you did good, return." He recalled the injured worm into its pokeball.

"Well you won so here's your prize money, I should pick my fights more carefully." he said with a chuckle. Wait prize money? Oh that motherfucker better give me a cut or I'm going to bitch slap him into a convenient nearby object.

As soon as the kid counted out the money he went on his way, supposedly to find a pokecenter.

"Hey, where's my cut?" I barked at him, heh 'barked' I'm a dog thing now.

"Your cut of what?" He looked at me confusedly. Raising an eyebrow to signal that he didn't know what I was talking about.

"The fucking money, I did all the work back there, I should get some of the damn cash!"

"What would you buy, your a pokemon?"

"Oh you know, snacks, knick knacks, bitches." He seemed a little surprised by that but only a little, I think he's getting used to the dirty jokes, I'll have to crank it up a notch.

"Your not getting any of the money." He stated as if it was a fact. Yeah right, that cash was as good as mine.

"I get a cut or I'll tell next police officer I see that you molested your pokemon." I said with a straight face. He simply glared at my with both confusion and shock.

"Your lying." He stated, unsure.

"You think I am but I already don't like you I have no reason to stay with you. Besides its not all the money, just like, err... twenty percent." I'm a fair man, he's got to buy camping shit and food for everybody, but I'm still human on the inside and I know money gets you places.

"Fine" he counted out about twenty bucks and handed it to me. "Just don't spend it all on candy."

Still lecturing me like a child hmm? Will see how childish it is when I buy a bottle of scotch.

Or whiskey, I like whiskey